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♥︎♥︎🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛♥︎♥︎
Karasuma Ranmaru found it incredibly fun to follow Ashiya Douman around; he truly loved it. He'd always shown interest in him, though he didn't know how to define that feeling.
Nor did he care.
It was easier for him that way, and he didn't want to worry about feeling guilty for that feeling. Maybe it was something forbidden, so it was better to be innocent by not knowing what he felt. It was better to turn a blind eye, hide those feelings, and at the same time let his emotions grow, since there was no name for it and, therefore, no guilt for having done something wrong or breaking it.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
In Suzaku's time, he observed how human life evolved. As a god, he wasn't supposed to interfere; Suzaku was never good at following the rules, but he never broke the established boundaries.
He always risked his divine position, but that only happened when it came to Ashiya-dono. For example, he wasn't supposed to get attached to a human or interfere in their life. However, Douman, the little boy who didn't trust others or the afterlife, caught the attention of the protector of the south.
"It's an amulet!" He delicately placed the ruby earrings in the boy's earlobes. It was a similar set to the one Suzaku himself wore: a crimson ensemble made exclusively for the god of the south.
They would be worth a fortune.
Even so, although Suzaku loved money and could have sold the second pair he made instead of giving them to a child.
Even so, Suzaku loved that those earrings also matched his own.
Truly, these feelings were his downfall, his brutal downfall. Even so, Suzaku never regretted this, because he had finally found a reason to live.
He had broken two rules: not to love a mortal romantically, not to desire them, much less to have a preference for them. The second was not to kill an innocent.
Suzaku did it.
He only fulfilled Ashiya-dono's request to become a Youkai. To achieve this, he first had to kill Douman and then resurrect him as a repulsive being, a Nurarihyon.
Years passed, centuries; Suzaku knew nothing. After being imprisoned, punished, and confined, simultaneously banished and burned alive, he lost his divinity and became Karasu Tengu. That was divine karma, the supreme authorities said.
Suzaku lost everything. Not even the name Suzaku belonged to him anymore. He lost everything. Even now, his mind was more concerned with having disappeared and been incinerated in front of Douman.
Ashiya-dono would feel guilty; that was all he cared about, he didn't care that he was no longer a god.
Suzaku also felt pain in his body; those treacherous flames that he once wielded with skill now, with this transformation, made his powers too dangerous and unstable. He wasn't as strong as when he was a god.
He was quite happy to have been reunited with Ashiya-dono, although Ashiya-dono had changed considerably; his way of speaking, respectful, was still incredibly handsome.
Suzaku doesn't like seeing that mark on Douman's face, that mark inflicted by Seimei. It's as if Seimei is still present.
And Douman is still obsessed with Suzaku's former master. How annoying. These feelings weren't so terrifying when he was a god.
Oh, right, Suzaku is no longer the Suzaku Douman knew.
His feelings, once unknown to him, were still pure, but now they've transformed into negativity and a fierce territoriality.
Is this what it means to be a youkai?
Suzaku knows that these feelings will also lead to his own downfall. They will transform him into something he no longer recognizes.
This is worse than when he was banished, yet even then he pretended to be, or tried to be, the Suzaku that Acchan knew.
Suzaku simply had to continue observing Douman's life as always, without interfering, but now that they were together, by Douman's side, he didn't have as many limitations as before, and Douman didn't seem to dislike his company either.
The years don't seem so boring. Being with Douman makes Suzaku's life more emotionally fulfilling, happier.
♥︎♥︎🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛♥︎♥︎
"Captain!" That's why the now-called Captain, or Karasuma Ranmaru, would never set foot inside the academy; it's to avoid seeing this guy.
Abe Haruaki, the human teacher at a youkai academy founded by Ashiya Douman, was hired by Ashiya Douman. Ranmaru had no problem with this; he harbored no hatred or discrimination towards Haruaki. He had loved and appreciated many humans in the past. However, Ranmaru disliked the fact that this human was not only the offspring of Seimei but also his reincarnation.
Haruaki held it with a smile and handed it to him. "Captain, thank you for lending me the sword last time!" What a pure soul. "Thank you, it was very useful!"
A familiar figure appeared out of nowhere.
"Acchan!" Ranmaru joked, winking. "Just in time, Haru confessed to me!"
"When did I do that?!" Haruaki hesitated, then shook his head repeatedly, looking at his boss. "I didn't do that, Principal!"
That frown was Ashiya Douman's typical reaction. Ranmaru wondered if Acchan was angry because he imagined Haruaki had confessed to him. Did Ashiya really like Seimei that much? Ranmaru's eyes darkened, yet he maintained his jokey facade. Ranmaru was sometimes so stubborn and should yell, "Why isn't it him? Why Haruaki?!" Ranmaru wouldn't do that; he would never express his true feelings.
He was afraid Acchan would hate him for having these feelings.
These feelings were growing quite dark. It was the nature of a crow. Sometimes he instantly noticed how Douman looked at the wings when he flew with Douman on his back, and Ranmaru knew the answer. Douman loved Suzaku as he once was, with those bright orange-crimson wings.
This is hurting him.
Really.
"Acchan, Haru is just embarrassed!" Ranmaru's lips uttered lies like mocking jokes. Haruaki was already on the verge of tears and anger, insisting that he hadn't confessed, that the captain was just teasing.
"Acchan, Acchan!" he called, circling Douman. Douman had truly had enough and punched him, as always, to stop him and calm him down. Since he was paying attention to Ranmaru, he didn't even feel the pain of the punch; instead, he seemed to enjoy it.
Don't look away. Ranmaru wished, for at least a few seconds, that he wouldn't have to be seen as the former god, or feel how Douman always unconsciously preferred Seimei, whether due to eternal rivalry, admiration, or now, the duty to protect Haruaki. Right now, he was staring intently at Ranmaru.
That's what excites the possessive nature of the crow, whose eyes gleamed like the flash of someone who already has their prey.
Had he gone crazy?! To look at Acchan like that?!
Ranmaru stopped, wanting to lower his head and pretend nothing had happened.
"Captain, are you alright?!" The kind-hearted Haruaki, confused by the captain's sudden downcast expression, was instantly also struck with a swipe of his hand.
"Principal!?" Without another word, Haruaki looked and Ranmaru felt Douman pull him closer. With a nod, Douman bid farewell to his subordinate. Ranmaru trembled, feeling afraid. Acchan had seen his eyes, had seen the dark expression Ranmaru tried to hide.
There was no excuse. There was no escape, even if he could. He didn't want to escape because if he did, Ranmaru knew very well that he would never show his face in front of Douman again.
In Douman's office, Douman let go of him and walked toward the window, blocking any possibility of escape.
Douman sat in the swivel chair, legs crossed, and stared at him intently.
"Acchan—" He didn't know what else to say.
He hated seeing Douman's angry expression; in the reflection in Douman's irises, only Ranmaru's figure appeared.
Douman was angry, very angry.
"So... You love Seimei?!"
Those were the words Ranmaru seemed to have said, or wanted to say, but they didn't come out of his mouth, nor did his thoughts surface! The one who blurted out that ridiculous thing is none other than Acchan.
"Who— I love S, who??" Ranmaru looked at Douman, confused. "Acchan, are you saying I love Seimei-kun? I mean... You should have meant Haruaki. Haruaki isn't Seimei!" Ranmaru emphasized. "Haruaki is the one who's currently with us!"
Douman clicked his tongue. "You like Haruaki?" He got even angrier. "You like Haruaki?... You have that expression. Is that how you act when you're in love?"
Douman complained. "I thought you hated Seimei. You're looking at Seimei with an expression I've never seen on you before!"
Douman wouldn't let him speak. Ranmaru also wanted to hear what happened and calm his feelings, and at the same time stop feeling disgusted by the nonsense his Acchan was saying.
"Is this your way of loving?!" he roughly pulled Ranmaru onto his lap.
"You..." too close, neither complained. Even so, Douman had a lot to say.
"I'll never lose to Seimei!"
"I know, I know it very well!"
Ranmaru slightly arched his back and pressed his shoulder closer to Douman's chest.
"Then!" Douman continued, his grip now tighter around Ranmaru's waist. "Why are you doing this to me, you heartless crow!"
"It's you and me, you dare fall in love with that guy..."
"Not again!" Ranmaru muttered. "Don't talk about Seimei!"
Ranmaru blurted out that phrase. He hated how his Acchan showed that anger, especially for mentioning Seimei again. And Ranmaru didn't realize that Douman misunderstood him.
Douman interpreted it as:
《I'm not talking about Seimei because I'm talking about Haruaki.》
"That's right, he's not a guy, Haruaki is purer, so you like the pure, the virginal, and the naive!?"
Now the verbal attack was directed back at Seimei or Haruaki, but Douman didn't care; in fact, he was offended.
"I love..." Douman interrupted him, but Ranmaru finished the sentence. "I love Acchan!"
"You have the nerve to say you love him—" He opened his eyes wide as he pushed Ranmaru's back so his head rested on his forearms.
Ranmaru wasn't heavy; he had simply stopped resisting, settling into Douman's lap and between his forearms so that Douman could easily hold him. He had completely relaxed his body, trusting him without any sign of rejection; there hadn't been any resistance from the start.
Douman's heart pounded. He felt his ears burning, betraying him.
"You like me?" he said, or rather, asked excitedly. He groaned to himself and, trying to hide his own embarrassment, adopted an indifferent attitude. "Don't tease me! So you like me?"
Ranmaru didn't answer immediately, and Douman narrowed his eyes, feeling increasingly uneasy.
"I'll kill you if you're lying," he threatened, trying to prevent Ranmaru from changing the subject… or perhaps because, deep down, he feared that Ranmaru was just playing with him and wanted to confuse him.
Douman felt the weight of the object of his desires and realized their position. He brought his face close to Ranmaru's, their lips about to brush, or rather, about to devour each other completely, were it not for Ranmaru raising his arms to cover his eye. "Ranmaru-san!" Douman, with his other hand, tried to push him away and see Ranmaru's face. He wanted to see him, he truly wanted to kiss him.
Douman exclaimed, "You said you love me, kiss me then, let me kiss you!!"
"That expression from before, Acchan, did you hate it?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"Just answer!"
Douman had to give an answer. Ranmaru had already begun to raise and lower his voice.
"No..."
Douman gently touched Suzaku's wrist. "I don't hate it!" Douman effortlessly helped Ranmaru sit up and hugged him. "The only thing I hate—I mean, I don't hate that dark, expressionless look—I hate the meaning it has, how it truly shows how much you love someone. I hate that others see that side of you. I hate to think it's directed at Seimei or Haruaki or someone other than me!"
A laugh escaped Ranmaru's lips, a relief to Douman.
"Acchan, it's strange, not feeling disgusted by me?!"
"No way!"
"Scared?"
Douman smiled ironically. Ranmaru felt that's what happened even though he didn't see Douman's expression.
"Scared? Me? Never! I'm not scared!"
"This love is too heavy!"
Douman scoffed. "Mine is too." Douman didn't understand what Suzaku was trying to express.
"Is Acchan's love burdensome? I don't think so. Rather, your obsession with Seimei is more so!"
"Distrust my feelings. You're Seimei's ex-shikigami, and your closeness to Seimei is even more burdensome! I love Suza... I love you, Suzaku! So, just as you accepted me as I am, I will too!" Now, finally, he uncovered his beloved's eyes. The latter still wanted to struggle against Douman's grasp, trying to free himself so he could cover himself again.
"Suzaku, you're acting so cute!" This time Ranmaru froze, unable to resist. Douman could no longer hide his own satisfied smile and the sweetness in his tone. "Su...Ran-chan, let me kiss you!" He moved closer, gently pressing a peck to the corner of Ranmaru's lips. "I like you. I guess you should be scared!"
"Too bad!" he drew out the word. "My feelings are more intense for you, and I don't regret it at all!"
Ranmaru's eyes lit up and tears welled up in his eyes. "Acchan!"
"Hey... I still have to punish you and ask if that thing about Haruaki confessing to you is true or a lie!?" Douman warned him never to joke about it and if he ever received a confession, to inform him.
It's not like Ranmaru would accept someone else, and it's not like Douman would allow it either.
Neither of them is good at expressing their feelings out loud, although the other academy employees noticed their gestures and physical contact—a bit too much. The only thing they could think about was that the two of them should get a room or the Principal rehiring Ranmaru as a teacher.