Chapter Text
“Jonny, please…”
He looked up at Jonny, who was pulling on his previously discarded clothes.
“You know how this goes.”
Jonny’s tone was empty, void of all the sweetness he possessed a mere moment ago.
“Well, y-yeah, I just… you…”
“Me? What about me?”
“You… you always do this. You come over, complain about whatever’s going on in your life, ram me into the mattress, and then leave.”
“And the issue is…?”
“Are… are you serious, Jonny? You can’t just… come over and do this to me and act all sweet while we’re fucking, and then act like I’m the issue when I just want you to stay!”
“You want me to stay? What, so I can pretend to be your boyfriend?” Jonny’s words shocked Thom to his core.
“Pretend…? We’re… We’re not…”
“We’re not WHAT, Thom? Spit it out!”
“We’re not together?”
Jonny blinked, processing his question, before his body began to shake as a fit of laughter overtook him.
“You… You thought we were together? Oh my god, that’s hilarious!”
Thom stood with his jaw agape as Jonny nearly killed himself laughing. His face turned hot, spreading to his ears and down his neck, as he swallowed back the lump in his throat.
“W-what’s… what’s so funny?” Thom choked out.
“Thom…” Jonny sighed, wiping his eyes. “I find it utterly hilarious that you thought we were an item. I don’t love you, if that’s what you think.”
Now, more than ever, Thom wished the floor would open and swallow him whole. He dropped his gaze to the ground, racking his brain for anything to say.
“Sorry to disappoint, I suppose.” Jonny says, interrupting the silence. “I’ll be on my way now. See you around.”
Thom didn’t bother responding, listening as Jonny left. He laid back on his bed, staring at the ceiling fan. He was fighting so many different emotions. Sadness, anger, and embarrassment swirled around in his heart and his head. All at once, it made sense as to why Jonny was so adverse to affection. They weren’t in a relationship, and Thom had foolishly assumed they were. They were just friends with benefits. Nothing more, nothing less. He let out a shaky exhale as tears began to stream down his face, his vision blurring.
“I must be the world’s dumbest bloke after this…”
He mumbled, his lip quivering as tears began to fall faster. He whimpered, sounding more pathetic than ever, and curled up into a ball as his body shook with sobs. He loved Jonny, and it broke his heart to know that the feeling wasn’t mutual. He cried harder, thinking of all the moments they’d had, granted most of them were beneath the sheets. In those moments he couldn’t have cared less. He finally had Jonny, in a way, and his brain made him think it was more than sex.
At some point he had run out of tears to cry, and he wiped his eyes with his blanket. He glanced over at the clock, and sighed as he realized he’d cried for two whole hours. Thom’s stomach grumbled, and he begrudgingly got out of bed to find something to eat. His flat was quiet, save for the dripping kitchen sink. He opened the fridge, unsurprised to find it nearly empty. The tomatoes were beginning to rot, he didn’t know how long that block of cheese had been there, and cheap beer apparently doesn’t substitute for food. He slammed the fridge shut, opting to rummage through his cabinets. Luckily, he found a stray can of vegetarian beans.
“Not the best, but it’ll do until I go to the market.”
He didn’t even bother heating the beans, choosing to eat them straight from the can.
“Cold and slimy, just like me.”
He mused, a small smile crossing his face. He had turned the television on at some point, half-watching some talk show he didn’t particularly care for. Thom was no stranger to being lonesome, hell, he had often chosen solitude over company, but tonight was different. He craved to be in someone’s arms, bathed in their warmth. Instead he sat on his old, lumpy couch, eating a can of cold beans, all alone.