Chapter Text
If you didn’t already know, Kim Dokja has a life that’s gone to shit. If his story were a living being, it would be a dinosaur because a disaster wiped it out.
But despite that, he continues to wake up.
—————————-7am ——————————
RIINNGGGGGGGG RIIIIIIIIIINNGGGGGGGG WAKE UP BITCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ugh. I slam my hand onto my phone and ow!? Groggily, I open my eyes. Okay I hit the corner of the desk not my phone. Thank god no one’s watching me, that was embarrassing. Sitting up, I look around my messy room. Right – I have school. I hate school.
Getting up, I open the curtains and the bright, too bright, sunshine leak in. Finally, it doesn’t feel like a vampire’s den now.
I put on my wrinkled uniform (far too lazy to iron my clothes, who even puts that much effort in?), before deciding to actually eat something. I head to the kitchen while scanning those BARREN counters, reminded of the fact that I don’t cook since good food is way too expensive now.
Oh wait. I ran out of cereal a while ago.
Well, I’m sure I can spare 2,000 won for some gimbap, it’s not like I was hungry anyway. After scrambling around the small living room for my bag, I finally head out.
I make my way to the bus stop, ignoring the traffic beside me. Thank god I made it out early today, that traffic seems terrifying. Getting onto the bus, I feel a few eyes on me. And guess what? I ignore that too. But it’s not like I blamed them. Seeing a highschooler all bruised up and bandaged isn’t your everyday sight.
Honestly, this bus ride wasn’t much different except for the few gasps I heard upon this random guy entering. Couldn’t be that shocking for you to make an audible noise. Curiosity got the best of me and I looked over. And oh my god I was not disappointed.
Albeit, a very intimidating atmosphere, and an expression that looked like he was going to commit murder, he was gorgeous. His face was sculpted, his body perfect like a Greek god which I’d like to see in the flesh. Who said that? Wasn’t me. Must’ve been the wind. Well, looking at his shirt carefully… WAS THAT OUR SCHOOL EMBLEM? Yep. The window looked especially interesting today.
I got off at the next stop, (thankfully) to get to the convenience store. And to be honest, that was a great decision, the traffic looked even worse now. I might just walk. And so I go to get some – albeit barely anything – food.
––——————————-7:40am———————————
I made it to school. Wow. What an achievement. Not lingering by the lockers too long, I eventually go to our classroom.
Of course, I settle in the corner next to the window. Where else would a guy with no friends go? Laying my head onto the table, I recall what I saw earlier. A really handsome guy, who I am not attracted to whatsoever and just appreciating beauty, with our school logo. He looked a bit older than me and someone I didn’t recognise so I assumed he was a senior. Too bad I wouldn’t see him around as a second year.
Hearing the door open and some annoying chattering, I didn’t need to lift my head at all to see who it was. It was Han Sooyoung.
She was an awfully annoying girl whose remarks made me laugh at times and whose writing seems oddly familiar to me. I wouldn’t say I despise her. I’d say I hate her as much as everyone else. Maybe even a little less. Or that might be a stretch. [we know it isn’t, you tsundere..] I had barely even talked to her. She tried once, on a particularly bad day of mine, and just backed off. Maybe that’s what I like about her. I proceed to turn my head to face her, still head down.
Then she was followed by someone who definitely holds her leash. An angel, as her most accurate description. Her name was Yoo Sangah. Everyone seems to like her – rightfully so – and she returned the friendliness. Or was it the other way around? I don’t know. While everyone else had a great impression of her, I felt like I knew her a bit differently.
One rainy day, I found her crying outside of our school. I panicked internally, after all, such an angel was crying infront of ME, why me!? She went on and on about how she thought she messed up in front our class.
Not knowing what to do, I handed her my umbrella, and walked home in the pouring rain. I got sick after that but I know she has a favourable impression of me, and I also think she’s a really sweet person. But also brave to put up with everyone like that. I could never do that – that’s why me and her are in two different worlds.
We made eye contact and she smiled at me, causing me to weakly smile back and turn back to face the window once again. The window would never betray me. It was trustworthy. Outside was a flurry of students rushing in and loud, VERY loud (annoying) talking. I would’ve loved to people watch today but god damn it, staying up until 3am to read webnovels does take a toll on you.
I drift in and out of sleep.
—————————————8am———————————-
The bell rings, startling me awake once more. Everyone was settling into their seats, of course staying away from me at the same time. It was slightly disappointing but you get used to it. The teacher walks in, oh this was unfamiliar? Where did Gong Pildu-nim go?
“Good morning students, I know this is second semester, but you have a new teacher now since Gong-seonsaengnim retired. My name is Han Myungoh.”
He ranted on about how we should still treat him like our old teacher since he’s still been here for a while. Did anyone actually listen? Probably not. I heard a knock and my eyes darted to the door.
“Ah, this is your new classmate.” He walks in. “Introduce yourself please.”
“Hello, my name is Yoo Joonghyuk. I hope to get along with you.”
I was going to start dying right there on the spot. That was the guy I saw on the bus. The one I stared at for FAR too long and the one I’m sure has a terrible impression of me. (But who doesn’t?)
“Right, you can go sit down next to…” Han Myungoh search the room for an empty seat, oh shit. “Kim Dokja, right at the back there.”
Yeah no, I had accepted my fate and it was time to ascend. How could I handle sitting next to him? Just him looking at me was terrifying. He’d be better off sitting next to someone like Sangah. The only good trait he had was that he was DEFINITELY something to look at. He sits down next to me, this is hella nervewracking… I immediately turn away, if I don’t talk to him, he won’t talk to me! Duh! Probably! Maybe.. Well, uh, hopes and prayers…
What bothered me the most were the complaining whispers..
‘My desk mate isn’t in today… Why’d he have to be seated next to Kim Dokja?”
“Don’t you think he’s cute? Seems like a total heartthrob eh?”
“The weird kid and the new kid cannot be a good combination…”
Ugh.
I sit through the teacher’s yapping about… I don’t even know. I want to go home already. But while I’m zoning out, I get tapped on the shoulder and I hear a whisper.
“Hey. He’s saying your name.”
“Oh, uh, here!”
His voice also sounds so smooth. Is it even possible for a human to be this perfect? Probably not. I stared at Yoo Joonghyuk for a second. I would be stuck with this guy for the rest of the second semester. That’s great. Totally fine. I can just let the school day pass as usual.
Honestly, I have to say I did have some hope for today but alas, all my hopes are futile to the very, very powerful (bad) luck driving my life forward. I ended up on a group project that lasts the whole semester. Fine, I could get through that unnoticed even if it’s a bit awkward. There IS the chance they may dump the entire workload on me, but that would require communicating with me so I’m not exactly sure that would happen. But no, no! Of course this wouldn’t work out! I just HAPPENED to be out with 3 peculiar students. Can you guess who? Their names were Yoo Sangah, Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk. Ha. Ha. Ha. I’m so finished.
The assignment was to make a documentary of sorts based on the concept you were given. You could write an essay, create an artwork, show extensive research or in our case specifically: document our daily lives. Our concept, which NO ONE and I mean literally NO ONE asked for, was ‘love’.
At the end of the project, you were supposed to write a paragraph on what you learnt from the experience and yada yada.
The better thing to ask was, HOW WAS A GROUP LIKE US EXPECTED TO COVER THIS?? I knew this was hell on earth but I didn’t think they could stoop this low.
Break started. And of course people started talking to their group members. But I wanted nothing more to hide in a corner and read! Usually I could but this specific combination (+ the unknown variable Yoo Joonghyuk) implies that I MAY have to interact with people. My socially awkward ass. I looked up and saw both girls approaching. Please save me.
“Hey, my name’s Han Sooyoung, don’t believe I’ve talked to you lot before! I hope we can get this project ooooover with, I hate how sentimental they make school work seem.”
Now that was something I could definitely agree with.
“Ah. It’s nice to meet you, Yoo Joonghyuk. And it’s nice to talk to you again Dokja-ssi. It’s Yoo Sangah. I look forward to working with you.”
She beamed.
“I hope we work together well enough… I just want a good grade.”
I flat-out did not want to speak but I didn’t want to seem rude either, maybe I could fade into the background. Han Sooyoung looked at all of us expectantly.
“So how are we going to get this project into motion? Preferably something realllyyyy easy.”
“Well maybe we could film something relevant to love? I heard short films give you guaranteed good marks.”
“…I don’t think it’ll seem like we put much effort in. Automatically average marks.”
“Hmmm… Kim Dokja you got any ideas?”
Oh um I didn’t expect Sooyoung to speak to me..
“Um.. maybe, we could film a documentary with our lives? like platonic love or friendship counts? right?”
“Huh well, that’s kinda smart!”
She turned to Sangah-ssi.
“Looks like we should rely on Dokja-ssi more often..”
No, no do not think that! All I said it that we should fake friendship and show it.. Please do not speak to me. Ever.
“Then we should hang out.. Are you all okay with that? We can set a few things up. I think I have a camera lying around at home.”
“Yeah! We should make a group chat!”
“Dokja, Joonghyuk, can I have your phones for a second?
Yoo Joonghyuk handed over his phone almost immediately. After making eye contact with Sooyoung for exactly 2 seconds before giving in, I hesitantly slide it over like a skeptical cat. Getting my phone back, I see a chat named ‘{Project: Love} initiated!♡’ After Sooyoung spams it with a million and two stickers, Sangah says hi with Joonghyuk replying: I reply with a boring ass ‘Hiya.’
————————————12pm———————————
The next few lessons pass like a blur with me dropping a pen and Yoo Joonghyuk passing to me and someone hitting me at the back of the head with an eraser while trying to pass it to someone. Finally, it was the sacred period of time during the day called lunch. Everyone flooded the cafeteria while I walked up the slightly busy stairs. But at the very top, even the slightest traffic was gone, at the roof. It was always slightly cold up here, with the breeze against my face and deathly silent apart from me. Of course the occasional pigeon appeared but it never lingered for too long. It was a place away from everyone else, since everyone else assumed it was closed.
I usually sat or slept here (and sometimes actually ate lunch when I could afford it..)
Settling down on the floor, I leaned against the wall with a book in my hand. I almost closed my eyes and face planted until I heard the creaking of the door. Wait what? No one else came up here? If it were a teacher coming to scold me, I would cry.
I glance up, greeted with the sight of a god, wait no scratch that it’s, Yoo Joonghyuk?
He made eye contact with me and I immediately broke it.
“Hey.”
I broke out into a cold sweat. It couldn’t be anything good for someone who had plenty of people to talk with to see me. After being ignored, he simply just sat down on the other side. Scary, but manageable.
And then he continued to speak.
“Hey Dokja, that’s your name right?”
“Where’s your lunch?”
…
“I finished it.”
That did not sound convincing in the slightest. It’s not like a new person would understand that this is a regular thing. So he’ll probably dismiss it. Apart from that, this guy has already invaded my thoughts and now my sacred space. What’s next? My house? … I need to stop thinking.
He just looked away with a bit of an apprehensive look before sitting on a bench and eating that, gorgeous.. mouth-watering… food. My god that looked good. His mother must be an excellent cook.
And then,
the worst happened.
He made eye contact with me ogling his food like a homeless person.. You know why I KNOW he noticed? He held out some takoyaki in my direction.
And like the idiot loser I am, I walked on my knees toward him, like a homeless man who found a scrap of food, and just took a bite straight off of his chopsticks. Heavenly, but why did I not think that through? My hands may have been full, but I could’ve put something down!! Well, what’s done is done. I swear his ears turned a little bit pink but a cold student like him doesn’t look the type to get flustered, so I assume I’m seeing things now.
“You know, this tastes really good..”
I hold my face just from sheer pleasure.. I haven’t had something like this in months.
“Your mother must be a really good co-“
I heard the door creak a bit and I snap my head over. Oh, oh no. I overestimated the rooftop once again, thinking we were secluded. All that was visible was a peek of short, black hair: but I didn’t need anything else to know who it was.
“I know you’re there Sooyoung.”
“Aw damn it…”
She walks out of the door frame inconspicuously, eyeing the both of us.
“What’s going on here? What’s this suspicious rooftop meeting Dokja-ssi~?”
“I thought we were friends, why didn’t you
invite me?”
She pouts dramatically.
“Or is it because you were on a date?~”
“I didn’t know you knew eachother..”
“We don’t.”
I turn my head to Yoo Joonghyuk.
“I was just offering him something because he was sitting in the corner without eating anything.”
“It was like the feeling when you ignore a hungry stray kitten.”
A… stray kitten? I’m being compared to a stray cat?????
“Are you saying he’s cute like a cat?”
Silence.
Silence when there should not be, it’s so easy to deny her.
But he doesn’t.
Oh god.
Sooyoung snickers to herself, there’s no way this will lead to anything good.
And then she leaves, and I just accept my fate. My reputation was never good to begin with.
“And my mother doesn’t cook for me.”
“What?”
“You said my mother must be a good cook. She didn’t make it. I did.”
So he can cook too???? Handsome, smart (presumably), AND can cook. Husband material. But forget that, I just glazed his food like I was eating a 5-star meal… I feel sort of embarrassed.
He held out food towards my face again, without making eye contact this time.
Not once but twice? He must have no shame. I envy him. I open my mouth again and eat it – who in their right mind would turn down free food anyway?
———————————-4:40pm———————————
It seems I got a bit too comfortable. I should know even having a slightly good day is a bad, BAD sign. I got a message from a very familiar number after all.
Song Minwoo: Come to the shop near the school won’t you? I haven’t talked to you in so long Dokja.
Song Minwoo: Let’s catch up.
…
What did I expect? I should be used to this.
There’s nothing I can do about it anyway, since I’m an abhorrent, murderer’s child.
I walked over to the dingy road as slowly as possible so as to not reach there too fast. I really didn’t want to go. But what if they threatened Yoosung again? I would never want that to happen.
“Eh~~ So you’re here Dokja? Sure took your time..!”
I didn’t even know this guy’s name. The group of people around Minwoo was never consistent.
After sudden rushing that I couldn’t follow with eyes, I felt a sharp blow to my gut, tumbling into the dark, damp alley. The sun was setting. It being winter did not help at all.
Getting grabbed by the hair, I got dragged across the alley.
“Stand up.”
I paused for a second, then got a kick to my back.
“I said stand up bastard.”
I got pulled up and dropkicked HARD on the ankle, immediately stumbling over.
“You’re so pathetic, that was barely a blow!”
I would be lying if I said I was used to this. It hurt. It hurt a lot. As it always did.
Minutes passed by as I stared at a specific stain on the wall. Everything hurt. I didn’t like it. I hated it so much. Why couldn’t it be over with? I wouldn’t have to deal with this if my attempt last year worked. Surely, that would’ve been a better alternative; however, a murderer’s son doesn’t deserve that much mercy. I was disgusting for even thinking that.
Soon enough, I was alone. It was past sunset and I lay on the cold, hard cement. I didn’t know for how long. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to get up. I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to go to school tomorrow and pretend that everything was fine. But such is the life for a loser like me. I continue to wake up everyday.
Using the wall to support myself, I limp my way back home. I think I sprained my ankle. It’s okay, I sprain my ankle a lot…
After an agonising walk, I make it to my doorstep. Yay. Throwing my shoes off at the door, I go to the kitchen to get a random frozen thing lying around in the freezer. That happened to be an actual ice pack for once, nice! While sitting down, I pick up my phone and see the time. [5:26] Huh. I should probably finish my homework or something.
Before I can check my bag for assignments, I get attacked with a flurry of notifications from: [{Project: Love} initiated!♡]
Han Sooyoung: YOO IS THAT DOKJA ONLINE?
Yoo Sangah: oh yeah, seems like it XD
: hi dokja-ssi !
Yoo Joonghyuk: Hello.
…
Kim Dokja: hello..
HSY: Dokjaaaa we’re all meeting up on Saturday okay?
YSG: at 3pm in the mall near our school ^^
KDJ: ah okay.. I’ll be there. it’s friday tomorrow no?
YJH: It is.
HSY: Wow.. I’m getting emotional already! Project: Love team meeting up for the first time >_< !!!
I wanted nothing more than to go to bed, but I’ve barely eaten all day so I HAVE to make something for dinner.. I didn’t get the chance to buy groceries today. I’ll just use the first aid kit so I look less morbid and then cook some ramyeon, if there’s no other option. What am I kidding, I love ramyeon.
While patching myself up, I get another notification. Thinking it’s from the gc, I almost shut my phone then I see the name ‘Yoo Joonghyuk’.
YJH: Do you like eggs?
KDJ: yes why?
And then I got left on read. How delightful.
I’m going to binge read webnovels until I have do my homework and eat…
————————————10pm———————————-
I completely regret leaving my homework to last thing. Why did there have to be so much due TOMORROW??? Ahh I’m so beat.
Collapsing onto my bed, I stare at the ceiling. I had to turn in a ton of work tomorrow, figure out how to avoid Minwoo once more, and fake a loving friendship with acquaintances the next day. Hah, this last semester is going to be insanely eventful.
[1 unread message: YJH: Goodnight, Kim Dokja.]