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"I remember when she first moved in."
"Fuck, this shit keeps dying on the charger. Tsk, and it's fucking blazing."
The beaming sun was no help to the broken charger; it basically sores through the charger and probably the reason the mobile doesn't charge. " Katsuki! Get your ass down here!" a yell was heard by an obviously older woman.
"The hell does she want." I groaned and rolled off my bed. "Hey brat, can you go hand this this to the people across, our neighbors. Heard they just moved in, pretty rich too." she says handing a small envelope to, me and, puffing her 5-dollar cigarette she got from joey's. "What's it about?" I asked, taking the small paper and scanning it.
"Dunno' the damn landlord sent it to us and told us to hand it to them, said he wouldn't be in today" she explains. "Tsk, fine whatever, I gotta head to the store anyway buy a new damn charger.", "Language." She warns turning around and entering her stoned like kitchen, "Tsk, you swear all the time." I grumbled heading out the door. Hearing my old hag shout about how she's in her 30s.
The warm breeze hit my face as I stepped foot onto the squeaky porch, so that's the new girl, they moved into Mr. Kratts old ass house.?
I simply rolled her eyes, lazily looking both ways across the street, there was a girl who seemed to be my age on the phone, her long silky two-toned hair radiating in the sun tied into a nice ponytail, it was almost far-fetched.
I walked up onto the walkway, "Oi! " I called out, the girls' attention swiftly turned to her, now Katsuki's view of her was full, she was so different looking, was her hair dyed it was a weird choice for dyed hair. "I...I uhm I got you something, it's from our landlord I think, we prob share the same one." I said my eyes squinting from the shining sun in my eyes. Why was it so bright out?
"O-Oh thank you." she said, she sounded so quiet but sweet. She stepped down from the porch and grabbed the envelope, 'Holy fuck...She's gorgeous.' I stood there contemplating how someone so blindly beautiful, how can someone be so soft looking and precious.? It's terrifying.
"Ahem." The beautiful female clears her throat, " Shit, right sorry." I apologized, "It's fine, people usually stare at it." She mutters a sweet understanding tone. "Stare-...Stare at what?" The girls' eyes gazed up from the envelope in her hands, "At my scar." she responds.
Right, I didn't even acknowledge it until she said something, I don't get how I didn't notice it before it's huge. How can someone look so pretty with something as huge as that "Shit! No-...No, I wasn't looking at that." I stammered. The girl offers a slight smile, "I see, thank you again." she replies, turning around to leave.
"My name is Katsuki by the way!" I said flexing my hands into a fist I felt my palms sweating, before the girl could head into her new home she turns around and offers a warm smile.
"Shouto"
"She had a lame name."
"Katsuki." I remember we were at the beach; it had to been at least 8 o'clock. "When we die where do you really think we go?" it had been a weird question for me, it was random.
"Wherever our soul takes us."
"And what if we have no soul?"
"Well, that's not fucking possible because we'd probably wouldn't-"
"I mean, what if we sold it. Or what if-" I remember looking at her like she was insane, like she'd lost her mind.
"I sound crazy...Don't I?" she smiled a lot that day, it was weird for someone like her.
"Very. I never think that far into life, makes me go mad."
"You're always mad."
We both laughed at that; it was funny because I am always mad. I've been like that since I was born.
"Yeah, and you're always I don't even fucking know...Uhm stoic."
"Stoic?"
"Yeah!? That's how you are."
"You think I don't show emotion when I'm going through something?"
"Eeyup!" I remember laying on her lap, she was so cold.
"So, you don't think our God will take us anywhere?"
"I don't read that kind of stuff"
"My dad does, he says liking the same sex is a sin."
I knew what she was implying, I knew she was telling me her father didn't approve of her, of us.
"Well fuck your old man."
"Do you believe in God, Katsuki?"
"I told you I don't rea-"
"I asked you if you believed in a divine being." she sounded agitated, she didn't even look at me.
"I don't know."
She turned her gaze towards me after hearing that answer, a short smile plastered on her lips.
"You're my divine being. My God."
I shot up, "Why are you saying that!"
"Because it's true."
After that I just ended up kissing her, I was scared she'd say something weird, or about that God.
I never grew up in a house with that kind of shit, I know Deku talked about it. She would always say I need to turn to him to 'repent'.
After that night, it felt like everything was hellish in the Todoroki house, it had been around 3 a.m. when she came pounding on my door, almost waking up my old hag.
"Katsuki!" she looked beaten and broken.
But so beautiful.
"I can't stay here anymore, I can't stay with that man anymore." she hugged me her tangled hair tickled my bare shoulders.
"Shouto, what happened?"
"He's forcing me to marry!" she dug her face into the crook of my neck even more, her salty tears wetting pieces of my tank top.
Seeing her cry felt so unreal, like a statue finally cracked.
Her father always did this, he always set her up with guys to marry. And she always rushed to me for comfort.
"Shou... Your old man always does this."
"No, this time he signed the papers! I'm getting married to the Yaoyorozu family!"
"Alright, come on." I brought her inside. I knew who the Yaoyorozu's were, they were filthy rich. Owning two factory's and becoming the most money-making company of the year for 3 full years. Old hag used to work for them until she got fired for slacking, dad ended up leaving her by then.
"I don't know what to do Kats. I can't marry him." She must've been talking about Momo, he had a crush on her since they were kids apparently. I always heard him talking about her to his friends, what a snob.
She kept sobbing, I couldn't even cry for her. I didn't feel any type of anger, let alone anything about this situation. All I did was hold her, it was the least I could do.
"Maybe marrying him would be better for you." I blurted out without thinking.
She stopped crying for a moment, lifting her head and looking at me with her blood shot eyes.
"What."
"Shouto, I mean. He can provide for you, give you children-"
"Katsuki! Do you hear yourself?!" It had been my first time hearing her genuinely raise her voice at me, let alone at all.
"Shou." I tried to grab her before she shoved me away.
"Don't touch me!" she hissed before making her way to the door, I called out for her. Only to be greeted by a tall elderly man. "I'll be taking her home now."
Then he dragged her away, she didn't even look back. She just held her head low.
I failed to recognize what I said had done. I didn't see how much regret I would feel until the next three days.
"Katsuki." my old hag came into my room; I'd been ruminating about everything three nights ago.
"Katsuki, I need you to listen to me."
I hugged myself tighter.
But not even that prepared me for the words coming out of my mother's mouth.
"Shouto was found dead in her room yesterday."
I don't think I ever got up so quick before. "How?" I questioned.
Everything had gone blurry with each question coming out of my mouth. "Suicide."
"I remember crying so much I could barely breathe. Then, a voice just kept screaming that she was lying."
"Katsuki."
"Tell me you're lying through your damn teeth!" I shouted. "I wish I was." she even sounded sentimental, something she never was.
"She's dead."
I had lost my only source of happiness in this damn world.
I started to break down; all the words I had exchanged with her rushed back to the front of my brain.
I heard my old hag sigh before hearing her make her way towards me. "I know you loved her." she said as she rubbed my heaving back.
Three weeks later, it was her funeral. Honestly, I didn't want to go, I didn't want to think of her body in a thick box surrounded with marble being lowered into the ground.
But the old hag was persistent after we received the invite.
It had been Shouto's older sister, Fuyumi who gave us the invitation to the funeral. Telling us she would've wanted us there.
"Are you ready?" my old hag asked me, she was dressed in black too, a black blazer with her skirt just above her knees she had on black skin tights with black and red heels.
I wore something similar, a suit but with flare pants, with deep black heels. I hated heels, Shouto always said I looked good in them because they made me look taller and reach her.
I placed the hair pin she had given me into my hair, muttering a quick 'yeah' before following her to the car.
By time we were there, everyone gathered around the white casket.
Fuyumi had been wiping her face, Shouto's brothers looked like they were trying not to cry. Her mother eyes looked distant while her dickhead fathers look like he could kill someone with just a glare.
I couldn't go near her body.
But I couldn't help myself.
She still looked beautiful, even when dead. She had a mark around her neck, a blueish purple.
They didn't even try to hide the fact she killed herself.
She didn't have on the necklace I gave her, she always wore it, even the night we argued.
Before I knew it, I was balling like a child. Sinking to my knees and holding that hard casket, "I'm sorry" is the only thing I could say to a body who had already gone cold.
My hands kept shaking.
"At one point, I hoped she'd just rise up and tell me it was a joke. A cruel joke."
"Katsuki."
"Leave me alone!" I screamed, my voice hoarse.
I just want to be alone, I knew she was angry with me. I couldn't help but be angry at myself.
"I blamed myself for her death, I felt like it was a punishment for what I said to her."
The drive home was silent, only the sounds of puddles splashing under the tires rang in the air.
This had been my punishment, I failed her. She went to me for help and yet... I pushed the idea of an idea she didn't want.
By time we were home I was already in bed, still crying like a baby. Over something that had been completely my fault. It should've been me in that coffin. It should've been me being lowered into the ground covered in dirt.
"Shouto"
I'm so sorry
The Last Embrace.