Chapter Text
Dear Diary,
Today I got 1st place at my swim meet! I’m really proud of myself. All my hard work paid off and now I have a whole week off to rest!
Seonghyeonie showed up to cheer for me even though he told me he had lots of studying to do. Should I feel bad? I don’t want his exam scores to tank - he’s worked too hard for that! But at the same time, I was really happy he showed up. Maybe I should find a way to show him my appreciation… hm.
Oh, I know! I’ll surprise him tomorrow with boba.
Please keep coming to my swim meets, Hyeonie!
“What’s this for?” Seonghyeon asked while inspecting the milk tea and tapioca pearls. Nevertheless, he unwrapped the plastic off his straw, poked a hole through the seal, and sucked a few pearls into his mouth right after.
The classroom was quiet, save for the loud chatter of the two best friends, who just so happened to be desk mates.
“For coming to my swim meet!” Keonho answered cheerily, watching Seonghyeon hum in appreciation as he sipped the tea. “It’s mango, your favorite.”
“Thanks, Keonie. But you didn’t have to do that, I’ll always come to your competitions.” On another thought, after chewing through more tapioca, Seonghyeon added with a slight frown, “I should be the one buying you boba. You did all the hard work.”
Keonho shook his head, his unruly bangs swishing back and forth. “But you have so much studying, Hyeonie. Swimming is easy, but studying is much harder.”
Seonghyeon chuckled, nudging Keonho’s side with his elbow. “You have to study too, silly.”
“Mn, my path is already laid out for me. Swimming scholarship, remember? I’ll leave the studying to you; you’re smart.”
“So are you—”
A chair screeched as their spiky-haired blonde friend, Martin, dragged his chair to their desks and straddled it backwards. “What are you losers up to? Ooh—boba?”
“Keonho got boba.”
“For you?” Martin questioned. Seonghyeon nodded. “Hey, where’s mine?”
Seonghyeon curiously peered at Keonho too, anticipating his answer.
“Sorry, I only bought one. Only ‘cause Hyeonie came to my swim meet yesterday.”
Martin went bug-eyed as he pointed incredulously at himself. “What about me? Yo, I was there, too!”
Keonho’s jaw dropped, horrified. “You—you were?”
“Yeah, man, I literally congratulated you after you won! My mom made you chocolates!”
Mrs. Edwards's chocolates—oh my gosh!
“I’m so sorry,” Keonho bowed his head onto the desk, clasping his hands up in a plea. “I don’t know how I forgot!”
The two boys laughed, and when Keonho came up from hiding, all he could focus on was the amused twitch of Seonghyeon’s lips and the crinkle of his eyes.
Tapioca eyes.
Dear Diary,
Am I a bad friend?
I bought Seonghyeon boba because he came to my swim meet, but I totally forgot that Martin was also there! Oops, guess I’ll have to buy Martin boba to make up for it (although I question if he really deserves it… after all, he doesn’t study nearly as hard as Hyeonie does).
I should also buy Mrs. Edwards something as thanks for the delicious chocolates - maybe a fruit basket?
And I’ve been noticing that Hyeonie eats too much cup noodles. Ack, that fool keeps making me worry, I should make sure he eats nutritiously!! Ahh RIP my allowance. Worth it.
P.S. Seonghyeon's eyes look like tapioca. I will now refer to them as tapioca eyes™
P.P.S. Wait, "tapioca eyes" is already a thing?? I thought I was being innovative!
✎...
“What happened to your swimming scholarship?” Seonghyeon asked with a sly grin as Keonho plopped beside him, joining the late-night self-study session.
They sat in the back row of the classroom, surrounded by other 12th grade students, all of them with their noses buried in their books.
“If I want to go to the same uni as you, apparently I still need to get a good score on the stupid CSAT,” Keonho whined, pouting as he dug his books out of his backpack.
Keonho hadn’t grown up with a dream school in mind, preferring to simply follow wherever his best friend went, but Seonghyeon did. And, as it turned out, Seonghyeon’s dream school was much harder to get into despite Keonho’s impressive swimming career.
Seonghyeon offered him a small smile. “I believe in you.”
“Easy enough for you to say, Mr. Academic First Place,” Keonho teased, lacking any real venom.
“Well, luckily for you, Mr. Academic First Place is here to help you study, right?” Seonghyeon opened Keonho’s book, flipping to the same page he was currently on while Keonho groaned loudly into the sleeve of his school uniform, getting a few stink eyes from a couple desks over. “C’mon, I want to help.”
A smile threatened to break out on Keonho’s face, so he lowered his head and bit his lip. “Ah, thank you, Hyeonie.”
“No need to thank me. Do you know how to begin problem eighty-two?”
Keonho stared hard at the math equation for a few long seconds before shaking his head.
“I’ll show you. This is a differentiation problem, so you want to start by bringing the exponents down…”
Keonho watched intently as Seonghyeon wrote down each step with his pen, listening to his crystal clear instructions.
Wow, he’s really good at this, Keonho thought to himself. And then: of course he is—he’s the best there is! A future doctor in the making!
“There, does that make sense, Keonie?” Seonghyeon asked, peering up at him.
That was when Keonho realized he’d been totally, unabashedly distracted.
At some point during the explanation, Keonho had started watching Seonghyeon instead of his notebook, observing the way his brows slightly furrowed in concentration, how his lips formed around each vowel and consonant, and wondering why his lashes were so suspiciously long—does he use a lash serum?
“Uh, yeah. You’re really good at explaining that.”
Seonghyeon smiled brilliantly. “Do you want to try the next problem?”
Pursing his lips, Keonho stared back down at his notebook at daunting problem eighty-three. Well, at least he knew how to solve the first half of it before Seonghyeon would inevitably need to fill in the blanks because Keonho had been so wistfully distracted. Trust him, he was equally as confused as to why he’d gotten so distracted.
“Sorry,” Keonho said once he paused his writing, feeling super bad for wasting Seonghyeon’s time with math problems that his best friend could solve in his sleep.
But Seonghyeon was only ever patient with him, immediately jumping in to help with a smile. “It’s okay. You did great with the first steps, all you need to do now is find the derivative.”
Although Keonho didn’t study every day like Seonghyeon did—and for good reason, too, he hated studying—it was actually quite fun. Keonho still felt a little bad, though. Seonghyeon was sacrificing some of his own precious study hours to help teach a hopeless Keonho, who wouldn’t be able to tell you what the heck a derivative was used for even if someone explained it to him like he was a toddler.
Somehow, even after many years of being best friends, Seonghyeon still put up with him.
✎...
Dear Diary,
First semester has ended and summer is upon us! Even though it’s our vacation, Seonghyeonie has been studying every day like it’s his fulltime job, and I still have swim practice for hours almost every day. I wish we could hang out more like we did last year… but maybe that’s what college is for!
Once Hyeonie and I get a dorm at Kyung Hee University, I’m sure we’ll hang out every day! #livingthedream
Ah, I’m so excited!! I can’t wait to graduate!
Dear Diary,
Today I had one of my biggest competitions of the summer. I got 3rd place, which I’m a little bummed about, although I know I shouldn’t be. The competition was really fierce this time around! Mom tells me I should be proud, so y'know what, I am proud!
I’m really happy that Seonghyeon came. He treated me to KBBQ after AND he got me boba tea! Hahaha he still hasn’t let me live down the time I bought him boba. Seonghyeon is really sweet like that. ALSO we’re hanging out again this weekend at the PC cafe - I’m so excited!
I’m buying Hyeon more boba. I don’t care. He can complain to the wall.
P.S. Martin, Jju, and James hyung came to my competition. I don’t know how I forgot to write about that! But it was really fun!
✎...
“Is today the hottest day ever recorded or am I going crazy?”
“Crazy,” Seonghyeon answered with a snort. “It’s what—eighty degrees? It’s not even that bad.”
“My body must run hot,” Keonho said, grabbing the hem of his shirt and fanning himself with it. “When’s your sister going to be done with the Switch? I wanna play Smash.”
Seonghyeon offered a one-shoulder shrug, returning to the books spread across his desk. The fact that he was still studying in this heat, even though the A/C hardly reached his bedroom, was commendable in Keonho’s books.
“Her friends are over. They’ll probably get bored of it in an hour and do girl things.”
“What do middle school girls even do?”
“I dunno.” Seonghyeon tilted his head. “Talk about boys while they paint each other’s nails? That’s a start.”
“Wait.” Keonho shot up, eyes lighting up with an idea. “Let’s do that—let's paint our nails!”
“Uh, what?”
“Wouldn’t that be so much fun?”
“But guys don’t paint each other’s nails.”
“Sure they do! Why should girls get to have all the fun? And it’ll look cool.”
“Do guys even wear nail polish?” Seonghyeon asked skeptically.
“Yeah,” Keonho muttered, “it’s trendy. Boy bands wear it all the time.”
“No wonder, Keonho. Maybe it’s because they’re in a boy band.”
Feeling a little petty, Keonho turned his nose up and huffed. “Fine. If painting our nails is such a big issue, then let’s either start our own boy band or—better yet—not do it at all.”
Seonghyeon blinked at him for a few seconds. He started clicking his pen, jaw tensing.
A beat later, Seonghyeon spoke quietly, “It’s not an issue.”
Keonho crossed his arms, turning away with a pout. “It’s a dumb idea anyway—”
“I’ll go ask my sister for some nail polish.” Seonghyeon didn’t give Keonho a chance to reply, already springing from his chair and darting out the door.
Keonho sat still for a few moments. Before he finally blinked. What was that?
Seonghyeon returned some minutes later with an assortment of nail polish in his hands, which he dropped onto the bed beside Keonho. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted, so I grabbed as many colors as I could find.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Am I missing anything? It’s just the nail polish, right?” Seonghyeon sounded actually concerned, as if he were worried Keonho would be upset with the selection he presented him.
Truthfully, Keonho didn’t know anything about painting nails.
“This looks good, Hyeon.” Then Keonho raised a brow. “You actually want to? You made it sound like it was lame.”
“Yeah, uh...” Seonghyeon scratched the back of his head. “Sorry about what I said. Anyone can wear nail polish. I think it’ll be fun.”
A grin spread across Keonho’s face—it was impossible for him to stay mad at Seonghyeon. He patted the spot next to him, and Seonghyeon quickly sat down, his hands fidgeting in front of him.
“Okay, which color do you want, Seonghyeonie?”
“Um…” Seonghyeon looked at the colors for a minute. “I’m not sure. Why don’t you pick?”
“Oh, sure!” Keonho rummaged through the myriad of nail polish, examining each color with a keen eye. Finally, he settled on a baby blue bottle. “This one looks nice. I think blue is your color, Hyeonie. You look nice in blue. Plus, it's my favorite color.”
Seonghyeon nodded meekly.
They sat cross-legged, facing each other, and Keonho wasted no time grabbing his best friend's hand and inspecting his fingernails. “Wow, you even have nice cuticles. Look at mine—” Keonho thrusted his fingernails in Seonghyeon’s face “—mine are all bitten!”
Seonghyeon just nodded again, going strangely still. He looked a little funny.
He must be nervous for his first manicure. No worries, I'll make sure he's a satisfied customer!
“Ah, sorry!” As it turned out, Keonho was not the nail tech he envisioned himself to be in his head, smearing nail polish all over Seonghyeon's cuticle. He used his free hand trying to rub it out, but to no avail.
“It's okay,” Seonghyeon said softly. “It still looks good.”
Once the wonky coat of nail polish had dried, Seonghyeon looked at him expectantly.
Keonho's mouth opened and closed a few times. “Wh-what?”
“It's your turn.”
Oh, duh!
Keonho's laugh came out slightly forced. “Yeah, I know that. You should pick the color for me.”
“Oh, uh...” Seonghyeon scanned the bottles of polish before looking back at Keonho. “I dunno which color to pick.”
Humming, Keonho tilted his head to the side. “Well, what color makes you think of me?” he offered.
“Uh, maybe yellow?”
That was a pretty quick reply. Keonho's interest was piqued. “Why yellow?”
Seonghyeon shrugged. “I don't know. Maybe because yellow is a happy color, and you're always happy—always making everyone else happy.”
That's so...
So sweet.
“Hyeon—”
“And because you remind me of the sun. You’re always so bright and cheerful and radiant. Honestly, you could even be the entire rainbow—but without yellow, without the sun reflecting off the rain, there’d be no rainbow at all. And plants need sun to grow, and the world needs light, or else there's only darkness. And your smile...” He paused, the corners of his lips tugging upwards like he couldn't hold back. “Your smile lights up the entire room. That's why you're radiant; you are sunshine personified.”
Keonho was stunned, to say the least.
Seonghyeon nodded a few times, suddenly looking away with pink-tinged cheeks.
“So, yeah… yellow reminds me of you.”
Dear Diary,
Today was a good day.
Seonghyeonie and I hung out! We even painted each other’s nails which was a vibe. I’ve never done that before, but it was really fun and we kept laughing the whole time.
Hyeonie's hands are super softI think Seonghyeon’s sheets might have permanent stains from accidentally spilling the polish oops!We start our second semester in just a few days, so that’s when the real work begins, which I am really dreading, ugh!! Why can’t summer vacation last just a little longer? Oh well, I need to do well on my exams, otherwise I can’t go to uni with Seonghyeon.
Don’t worry, my future self, I won’t let you down!!
P.S. My favorite color is yellow.
✎...
By the time the CSAT rolled around, Keonho had been studying diligently for months, devoting every ounce of his free time to cracking open his books and watching a gargantuan amount of YouTube lectures. He just needed an acceptable score, as long as it was good enough to get him into Seonghyeon’s dream school.
Admittedly, Seonghyeon had it much harder, considering he was applying to a medical program that only accepted a handful of students. But wherever Seonghyeon ended up, Keonho would follow. That was simply an indisputable fact.
Standing outside the front of the CSAT testing site, Keonho and his friends were bundled up in their winter clothes, their faces all flushed from the cold. The doors hadn’t opened yet, and a large crowd of students had gathered outside, counting down the minutes until the most infamous day in a high school student’s career began. It was a nationwide event; the whole country quieted for one day just so the students could focus on their exams.
Martin was laughably relaxed compared to the rest of them. “Eh, if I don’t do well, I’ll just go to school in Canada.”
Juhoon elbowed him. “You’re not leaving me here with those two,” he grouched, nodding toward Keonho and Seonghyeon, who had been giggling, lost in their own world as they stuffed their hands into each other’s pockets to keep warm from the wind’s frosty bite.
“C’mon, guys,” Keonho cheered, pulling his numb hands from Seonghyeon’s pockets to step in front of them. “Let’s all put our hands in the middle. James hyung wouldn’t want to see us give up so easily!”
“Hyung never had faith in any of us besides Seonghyeon and maybe Jju,” Martin countered, even though he still put his hand in the middle.
“Seonghyeon’s the favorite child, so all of hyung’s faith was probably reserved just for him,” Juhoon said, looking reluctant as he stacked his hand on top of Martin’s.
Seonghyeon clicked his tongue. “Yah, maybe he just found me less annoying than you idiots.”
James was a bit of a legend in their friend group. Two years their senior, but his presence had made their first year of high school unforgettable. He was also the one who had brought them all together in the first place.
Keonho and Seonghyeon had been friends since elementary, whereas Juhoon and Martin had come from completely different stratospheres—up until James gathered them like a mother hen collecting her chicks and forced them to get along.
Now, Keonho couldn’t have imagined high school without any of them.
“Three… two… one!”
After an awful, lackluster cheer that Keonho immediately grilled his friends for, the testing building's doors swung open, with a few testing proctors coming outside to greet the students.
“Ah, shit,” Martin sighed. “Well, see y’all on the other side of hell.”
Martin and Juhoon started walking toward the entrance, and Keonho naturally fell into step behind them—until Seonghyeon caught him by the wrist.
His voice was soft, sweet, and timid.
“Keonho, hey.”
Instantly, Keonho spun around to face him. “What’s up, Hyeonie?”
Seonghyeon didn’t start speaking right away. Instead, he studied Keonho for a while, his eyes tracing over his features.
“Is everything okay?” Keonho asked, worried.
“Yeah, um.” Seonghyeon frowned, taking in a gulp of air. “Everything is fine. I just… wanted to tell you something.”
Keonho smiled. “You can tell me anything.”
Again, Seonghyeon fell silent for an odd minute until Keonho began to grow even more worried.
“Hyeon, are you sure—”
Seonghyeon pulled him into a hug, knocking the breath out of him and hitching his chin over Keonho’s shoulder.
Keonho froze, hands hanging dumbly by his sides.
“You’ll do amazing,” Seonghyeon finally whispered into his ear. “I know you will.”
Breathless, Keonho couldn’t form a reply. By the time he thought of something to say, it was already too late.
Seonghyeon pulled back, and his eyes dimmed ever so slightly, a sadness washing over them.
Wait!
Keonho grabbed Seonghyeon by the shoulders, pulling him back in so he could fully reciprocate the hug.
Please don’t be sad.
“You will too,” Keonho said, warmth rising to his cheeks despite the frigid cold. “No one in there is smarter than you, Hyeonie. Mark my words, records will be broken today.”
Seonghyeon giggled. “Thanks, Keonie.”
✎...
Dear Diary,
I got the score I wanted on the CSAT!! Actually, I got five points higher than my goal, and it’s all thanks to Seonghyeon! I couldn’t have done it if it weren’t for him. I even aced the derivative problems.
Hyeonie says he’s proud of me!! :D
And of course my best friend did amazing! He’s in the 1st percentile, that smarty pants. I knew he was the smartest in the room. He could go to any school in the country if he wanted!
Dear Diary,
I am shaking. I just got my decision letter back from Kyung Hee and…
I GOT IN!!!! SEONGHYEON AND I WILL BE ROOMMATES!! OH MY GOSH I COULD KISS SOMEONE
LIFE IS GOOD! I REPEAT: LIFE IS GOOOOOD!!!
✎...
During graduation, Keonho wasn't embarrassed to admit that he cried. Seonghyeon saw all of it—the tears, the snot, his pink face—and didn't say a word. He simply stood by Keonho's side, offering his shoulder whenever Keonho needed to hide his messy face.
“Don't forget me when you guys are big and famous,” Keonho tearfully told his friends. Even Juhoon looked teary-eyed. “Jju is going to be a worldwide singer, Martin's going to be his producer, and Hyeonie's going to be saving lives.”
Seonghyeon laughed, squeezing Keonho's shoulders in a way that lifted all the invisible weight off of him, while Martin grinned widely.
“What about you, Keonho?” James asked from the sidelines, watching his friends with the fondest smile. “Who do you want to be?”
Who do I want to be?
Keonho sniffled, wiping his face with the back of his sleeve. “I'm not sure.” He caught Seonghyeon's soft gaze, and, suddenly, the answer clicked into place. “I want to be someone who makes everyone happy.”
Maybe they had expected him to say swimmer, considering that's been his dream ever since he was little, but none of his friends looked surprised by his answer.
They took group photos together, commemorating this big milestone. And when it was just Keonho and Seonghyeon, as it always was in the end, Keonho knew without a doubt that Seonghyeon would always be a large, immovable part of his life—his future.
“What's on your mind?” Seonghyeon asked after Keonho had stared too long at him.
Unmoving, they watched each other for a while as the rest of the busy world seemed to continue on without them.
“I'm just thinking that I'm ready.”
“Ready for what?”
“For the unknown." Feeling his heart speed up, Keonho continued, "To start our life together.”
Then the busy world came flooding back, their families pointing cameras at them, calling out for the two childhood friends to pose and smile.
Despite the chaos around them, Seonghyeon's face broke into the brightest smile.
“Me too.”
Afterward, when graduation unfortunately came to an end, Keonho went home and gushed about his day to his diary.
Dear Diary,
A new chapter of my life has begun. And just like in all the chapters before, Seonghyeon is still here.
P.S. I hope I'm forever and always by his side.