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Atsushi Nakajima let out a quiet breath as he organized yet another stack of documents on his desk. He had been trying to focus for the past several minutes, doing his best to ignore the familiar chaos that seemed to be part of everyday life at the Armed Detective Agency. The tip of his pen glided carefully across the paper, filling out reports and forms with almost excessive diligence. It was simple work, repetitive even, but he approached it with the utmost care, as if any mistake might prove he didn't deserve to be there after all.
Behind him, a familiar argument filled the office.
"Dazai!" Kunikida's voice rang through the room, followed by the solid thud of a notebook smacking his partner on the head. "I told you to finish this paperwork yesterday!"
“Aww, how cruel, Kunikida!” Dazai replied with a carefree smile, theatrically rubbing the spot where he’d been hit. “But look on the bright side: Atsushi-kun does a much better job than I do. It would be a waste not to put that talent to use.”
"That's not a compliment! That's laziness!"
"I prefer to call it efficient delegation."
Another blow landed.
“And I call it exploiting a apprentice!”
Across the room, Kenji couldn't hold back a genuine laugh.
"Mr. Dazai got scolded again!"
"I think he just broke his own record this time," Tanizaki commented with a chuckle.
Near the window, Ranpo remained completely unfazed by the spectacle. A bag of snacks lay open on his desk as he absentmindedly scribbled down a few notes, while Yosano reviewed a stack of medical records beside him. Every now and then, she shot the commotion an amused glance before returning to her work, far too accustomed to scenes like this to pay them much mind.
Gradually, Atsushi let all those voices blend together until they became nothing more than comforting background noise. Kunikida's exasperated complaints, Dazai's ridiculous excuses, and the occasional laughter of the other Agency members formed a sort of strangely familiar melody. Without realizing it, a small smile played on his lips as he continued writing.
Just over a month ago, that environment would have seemed too chaotic for him to bear. Now... it was different.
He still found it hard to believe he had found a place like that.
His gaze remained fixed on the papers before him, but his thoughts were already far away.
It was impossible not to feel a deep sense of gratitude toward all those people.
Especially toward Dazai-san and Kunikida-san.
The two had completely opposite personalities; they argued practically every day and rarely agreed on anything. Yet, in very different ways, both had reached out to someone who had absolutely nothing to offer in return.
Dazai had been the first to see some use in him; even when Atsushi couldn't see any reason to go on, Dazai-san saved him. Kunikida, despite his rigidity and constant demands, never gave up on patiently teaching him every detail of a detective's work.
Atsushi couldn’t have asked for better mentors.
...But that didn’t mean he had stopped doubting himself.
His pencil hesitated for a moment over the paper.
Sometimes, when the Agency’s pace slowed and silence found room between missions, that old thought would return.
‘They made a mistake.’
Everyone there was extraordinary. Kunikida was so responsible and reliable, always adhering to his ideals. Yosano saved lives with her ability and sheer force of will; her courageous attitude and unwavering demeanor were things he both admired and feared. Ranpo solved impossible cases before even hearing all the details. Even Tanizaki and Kenji possessed a confidence that Atsushi silently envied.
And him...
He could barely accept his own existence.
For years, all he knew of his power was the terror of waking up in ruined places, his clothes torn and stained with blood of unknown origin. Before discovering he was the bearer of the "Beast Beneath the Moonlight," he had sincerely believed those transformations were a curse, proof that something was deeply wrong with him. After all, what kind of person turned into a monster at night?
Even now, knowing the truth, a part of him still couldn't accept the tiger as a part of himself. He knew he could use the tiger to save people, just as the agency members believed he could, but accepting that wasn't easy.
It was still hard to believe that someone like him could deserve to be there.
It was still hard to believe that, among so many brilliant people, there was truly a place reserved for Atsushi Nakajima.
The weight of his thoughts began to lift when a shadow fell across his desk. Atsushi looked up just in time to see Dazai unceremoniously pull out the chair next to him, sit sideways on it, and rest his arm on the backrest as if he had absolutely nothing to do. Given that all the paperwork in front of Atsushi had originally belonged to him, that was a pretty safe assumption.
“Atsushi-kun,” Dazai called out with a carefree smile, “we’re having a visitor today.”
Atsushi blinked a few times, taking a moment to fully let go of the train of thought that had held his attention. His gaze swept across the room, and only then did he realize the others’ conversation had shifted while he was distracted. Even Kunikida seemed less focused on scolding Dazai and more attentive to the topic at hand.
“A... visitor?” he asked, unconsciously straightening the papers on his desk. “Who’s coming to see us?”
Before Dazai could answer, Kenji eagerly raised his hand, as if he were in a classroom.
“He’s really nice! He always talks to me when he comes to Yokohama and never complains when I ask a bunch of questions.”
“That’s because the two of you are incredibly optimistic and naive, Kenji,” Tanizaki remarked with a low chuckle.
“But he’s really kind!”
“That’s true,” Yosano confirmed, closing one of the medical charts in front of her. A small smile played on her lips. “He’s a sweetheart. The kind of person who apologizes even when he accidentally bumps into a table. Sometimes it’s actually annoying.”
“Annoying?” Dazai placed a hand over his heart, feigning indignation. “I thought you appreciated polite people, Yosano-sensei.”
“I do. I just don’t appreciate someone who takes the blame for things that clearly aren’t their fault.”
Kunikida sighed as he adjusted his glasses.
“Regardless of that... he’s extremely reliable. If he says he’ll take care of something, he does. He never breaks his word and would hardly ever abandon someone in need of help.”
“That’s exactly the problem,” Ranpo murmured, without even looking up from the package of sweets he had just opened. “He’s a well-intentioned idiot. But he really is strong in his own way.”
The silence that followed lasted only a few seconds.
“Was that a compliment?” Tanizaki asked.
Atsushi glanced back and forth between them, feeling increasingly lost. Each answer seemed to describe a completely different person.
Someone kind.
Someone trustworthy.
An idiot.
None of those descriptions gave me much to go on regarding who he was.
“So... who is he, exactly?”
This time, it was Kunikida who answered.
“A detective.”
Atsushi tilted his head slightly.
“He works mainly in Tokyo,” the older man continued. “That’s why he only shows up here from time to time, usually when a case brings him to Yokohama or when he decides to pay us a visit.”
“He isn’t officially part of the Agency; he was never hired by the President,” Yosano added.
“But he’s still family,” Kenji concluded, with a smile so natural it seemed like the most obvious thing in the world.
‘Family.’
Those words echoed in Atsushi’s mind.
He had no idea who they were talking about, but the way everyone referred to that person stirred a curiosity that was hard to ignore. It was rare to see the entire Agency in agreement about someone, even if each of them described him in a different way.
Without realizing it, his imagination began to fill in the blanks, and he grew excited.
Perhaps it was a veteran investigator, the kind capable of solving impossible cases just by observing a crime scene. Or someone with an extraordinary, powerful, and versatile ability; the sort of person whose mere presence inspired a sense of security.
Maybe it was someone like the President, or even Ranpo.
Someone truly exceptional!
The kind of person Atsushi was certain he could never become.
The sound of the doorbell interrupted his thoughts. At that moment, the entire Agency seemed to turn its attention toward the door.
The doorknob turned slowly.
Atsushi straightened his posture almost reflexively.
When the door finally opened...
...no imposing investigator walked in. Nor a middle-aged man bearing decades of experience. Nor someone whose presence commanded the room.
Only a young man entered.
He looked to be just over twenty, maybe twenty-three. He was slightly shorter than Atsushi, with dark hair that was a bit tousled, as if the wind had insisted on playing with it the whole way there, eyes of a vivid blue, and a gentle expression. He wore simple, unassuming clothes and carried nothing but a bag in his hand.
The only things that stood out against that ordinary appearance were a few faint scars scattered across his hands and extending up his forearms, partially hidden by his rolled-up sleeves.
Atsushi’s first reaction was to blink.
Because, contrary to all the expectations he had built up... the man looked incredibly ordinary.
The young man smiled the moment he stepped through the doorway, and before he could even say a word, Kenji practically sprinted across the room.
“Takemichi-san!”
“Kenji!” Takemichi barely had time to set his bag on the table before being enveloped in the boy’s warm embrace. The surprise lasted only a moment before he returned the hug with a soft laugh. “Wow, you’re still strong... I think you’ve gotten even stronger since the last time I saw you. I hope you’re eating well.”
“I am! I helped harvest a bunch of vegetables! And a bunch of baby animals were born, too! You have to come see them when you can! There’s a new little calf that’s super cute!”
Takemichi smiled sincerely.
“Of course I will. I promise that when I have a few days off, I’ll stop by. I want to meet them all.”
“Do you really promise?”
“I promise.”
As Kenji finally let go of him, Tanizaki approached with a calm smile.
“It’s been a while, Takemichi. Good to see you again.”
Takemichi smiled instantly upon recognizing him.
“Tanizaki-san! It really had been. How have you been?”
“Things are going well. Much calmer than the last time you visited.”
Takemichi gave an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of his neck.
“...That sounds like a jab.”
“Wasn't it supposed to?” Tanizaki replied, laughing too. “Last time, you showed up saying you were just there to drop off some documents. Three hours later, you and Dazai were caught up in an impromptu investigation, Kunikida was complaining because no one was sticking to the schedule, and Yosano had to patch you up.”
Takemichi’s shoulders slumped slightly, clearly embarrassed.
“...When you put it that way, it really does sound like my fault.”
“Because it was.”
They both ended up laughing together.
“Even so...” Tanizaki continued, his tone now more sincere. “It’s always nice when you drop by. The Agency gets a little livelier.”
Takemichi blinked, surprised by the sincerity of the remark.
"Thank you... I'm really happy to hear that."
Yosano approached with her arms crossed and a smile Atsushi had already learned to recognize as dangerously gentle.
"So, you finally decided to show up."
"G-good morning, Dr. Yosano."
Before Takemichi could even finish speaking, Yosano reached over and ruffled his black hair with one hand, earning an indignant little grumble from him.
"You've gotten thinner."
"Huh...? H-have I?"
She completely ignored the question, giving him a careful once-over from head to toe.
"So? Are you hurt?"
Takemichi immediately shook both his head and his hands in denial with such enthusiasm that a few strands of hair fell back over his eyes.
"N-no! No, this time I'm really not! I mean... just a few normal scratches, but they've already healed, and—"
"Good," Yosano cut him off before he could continue explaining himself. "Then do me a favor and try not to get hurt again."
Takemichi let out an awkward laugh, scratching the back of his neck.
"I-I'll try... Sorry for always causing you trouble, Doctor. I think I end up visiting the infirmary more often than I'd like."
Yosano let out a resigned sigh.
"You visit it more often than I'd like."
Despite her weary words, the affection on her face was unmistakable.
Ranpo, on the other hand, didn't so much as stand from his chair. He remained exactly where he was, arms crossed, eyes closed, completely motionless.
Facing Takemichi.
Or, at least, that was the impression he gave.
Takemichi watched the scene for a couple of seconds before laughing.
"You know, you could've just asked."
He opened the small bag resting on the table and pulled out a paper bag filled with neatly wrapped sweets. Before he could even finish the motion, it vanished from his hands.
Ranpo hugged it to his chest as though it were a priceless treasure.
"Hm."
He immediately tore open one of the packages.
"For an idiot, you can be surprisingly clever sometimes."
"I'm honored by the compliment."
"Don't get carried away."
Ranpo had already popped a piece of candy into his mouth.
"Of course, you're still nowhere near my level of genius."
"I wouldn't dream of arguing with that."
"Good."
Atsushi watched Ranpo happily enjoying the sweets. He knew all too well about Ranpo's insatiable sweet tooth.
Kunikida closed the notebook he had been reviewing and walked over. Unlike everyone else, his greeting came with a small adjustment of his glasses and his usual formal tone.
"How have things been in Tokyo?"
Takemichi straightened his posture almost instinctively.
"Pretty peaceful, actually."
"I hope that means you've finally stopped acting on impulse."
A chuckle drifted over from where Dazai was standing.
"Ah, Kunikida-kun, asking that of Takemitchy is like asking a fish to climb a tree."
"Hey!" Takemichi protested immediately. "I've gotten a lot better!"
"Oh?" Dazai asked, tilting his head. "Have you?"
"I have."
Kunikida shot the two of them a stern look before turning his attention back to Takemichi.
"Go on."
Takemichi cleared his throat quietly.
"They're not big cases like the ones the Agency usually handles. Most of the time, we investigate local incidents, gather information, and try to stop small problems before they grow into something bigger. Naoto's really good at planning strategies... so he's usually the one who comes up with the plan."
He paused for a moment before adding with a shy smile,
"So... you don't have to worry. I'm not rushing headfirst into things anymore."
Kunikida remained silent for a few seconds. Then he gave a satisfied nod.
"Good. As long as you keep thinking before you act... you'll do just fine."
At last, Dazai stepped over to Takemitchi, slipping his hands into the pockets of his coat.
"It's been a while, Takemitchi."
"It has, Dazai."
The two exchanged a small smile. Instead of a formal handshake, Dazai simply gave Takemitchy a light punch on the shoulder, and Takemitchi returned the gesture a moment later.
There was no fanfare.
No hugs.
No over-the-top teasing.
Just a simple greeting.
The kind of comfortable silence that only close friends could share.
The moment was interrupted by the sound of the office door opening. From inside, President Fukuzawa walked calmly into the main room.
The conversation died down almost instantly.
The moment Fukuzawa's eyes fell on Takemitchi, his usually stern expression softened, if only by the slightest degree.
"Takemitchi-kun."
The young man bowed respectfully.
"President."
Fukuzawa approached at an unhurried pace, a faint smile appearing on his face.
"I see you arrived safely."
Takemitchi immediately straightened his posture.
"Thank you for welcoming me again, President."
Fukuzawa gave a small nod.
"How have you been?"
"I've been well."
The President studied him for a few quiet moments before asking, with the same calm demeanor as always,
"Have you been getting enough sleep?"
Takemitchi seemed caught off guard by the question, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks.
"Ah... I've been trying to keep a better routine."
"And your meals?"
"I haven't been skipping them as often as I used to."
"Did you get any rest during the trip?"
Takemitchi smiled, looking almost sheepish.
"Yeah... a little."
Fukuzawa simply nodded, satisfied.
"I'm glad to hear it."
Nothing more was said.
Even so, Atsushi couldn't shake the strange feeling that their brief exchange had conveyed far more than the words themselves. Fukuzawa hadn't asked about investigations, reports, or abilities. Instead, he had asked whether Takemitchi was sleeping well, eating properly, and getting enough rest.
And Takemitchi had answered each question with an almost filial respect, like someone who understood those questions weren't mere formalities, but the quiet concern of a man who, without ever overstepping his boundaries, always made sure to look after him whenever he could.
At some point during the stream of greetings, Atsushi realized he had done nothing but watch. By now, everyone had naturally returned to their own work. Conversations once again drifted through the office as they always did, yet he remained standing beside his desk, absentmindedly holding a random sheet of paper just to keep his hands occupied.
Ever since Takemitchi had walked through the door, he hadn't managed to say a single word to him.
I should say something...
Taking a deep breath, he set the paper back on his desk.
"T-Takemitchi-san..."
His voice came out much quieter than he'd intended.
Takemitchi immediately turned toward him, meeting his gaze with such an effortless smile that Atsushi felt his face grow warm.
Before he could say anything else, however, Dazai appeared behind Takemitchi like a particularly inconvenient ghost.
"Ah! I almost forgot the most important part!"
Without asking permission, he placed both hands on Takemitchi's shoulders and nudged him a few steps forward.
"Mitchi, this is Atsushi-kun. Our newest recruit, and my apprentice."
Takemitchi quickly regained his balance, letting out a quiet laugh at Dazai's complete lack of subtlety. Then he turned his full attention to Atsushi and gave him a small, impeccably polite bow.
"My name is Hanagaki Takemitchi. It's a pleasure to meet you, Atsushi-kun. I've heard a lot about you. I'm really happy we finally get to meet."
Atsushi's eyes widened slightly. He hadn't been expecting such a formal introduction.
Still, he hurriedly returned the bow, a little awkwardly.
"I-I'm Nakajima Atsushi! It's a pleasure to meet you too, Takemitchi-san!"
"Takemitchi's an honorary member of the Agency," Dazai added with the pride of someone introducing an old friend. "So you can think of him as one of us."
Takemitchi scratched the back of his neck, clearly embarrassed.
"That makes it sound much more important than it really is. I've never officially joined the Agency."
His smile grew a little more bashful.
"But the President, Dazai, and everyone here have always welcomed me so warmly... so I'm just happy to help whenever I can."
"Far too modest," Dazai commented, folding his arms. "If it were up to me, you would've had a desk here ages ago."
"And Kunikida-san would've had a heart attack on the spot."
"He absolutely would've."
The two of them laughed together.
Atsushi found himself nodding almost unconsciously. Somehow, that answer fit perfectly with everything he'd seen and heard so far.
"So..."
For a few seconds, the two stood there in silence. Atsushi tried desperately to think of something interesting to say, while Takemitchi seemed equally determined to keep him from feeling awkward.
They both spoke at the exact same time.
"I..."
"You..."
They stopped.
Blinking, they looked at each other.
Then they both let out a quiet laugh at the coincidence.
"You go first," they said again, perfectly in sync.
Silence settled over them once more. This time, the silence was accompanied by an almost comical sense of awkwardness. And Dazai watched the whole exchange with an amused sparkle in his eyes.
"You two are unbelievable..."
Before either of them could react, he placed one hand on Atsushi's back and the other on Takemitchi's.
"There. Problem solved."
With a firm shove, Dazai sent both Atsushi and Takemitchy toward the door.
"I want you two to go buy some snacks for us."
"Huh?" they answered in unison.
Dazai pulled a few bills from his coat pocket and slipped them into Atsushi's hand.
"Here's the money."
Atsushi looked down at the bills.
"W-wait... this money is..."
"Kunikida-kun's."
Absolute silence fell over the office.
Then a shout erupted.
"WHEN DID YOU TAKE MY MONEY?!"
Kunikida immediately began frantically searching every pocket of his vest, the look on his face one of pure horror.
"I was sure it was right here!"
Meanwhile, Dazai casually strolled in the opposite direction.
"Oh? It was? How strange..."
"DAZAI!"
"You can't accuse a coworker without evidence, Kunikida-kun."
"THE EVIDENCE IS LITERALLY IN ATSUSHI'S HANDS!"
"Minor details."
Tanizaki stifled a laugh behind his hand, while Kenji laughed openly without the slightest restraint.
Even Ranpo chimed in absentmindedly as he picked another sweet from the bag.
"I'd say Kunikida's lecture, and beating, will last about ten minutes."
"I'll raise you to fifteen," Yosano said with a resigned shake of her head.
Takemitch covered his mouth with one hand, trying and failing, to hide the laugh that escaped him.
Then he turned to Atsushi.
"I think we'd better leave before we get dragged into this."
Atsushi cast one last glance at Kunikida chasing Dazai all over the Agency. When he looked back, Takemitchi was already holding the door open for him, waiting patiently.
"After you, Atsushi-kun."
Atsushi couldn't help smiling.
"T-thank you."
The two stepped out side by side while, behind them, Kunikida and Dazai's argument continued to echo throughout the Agency.
"GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY!"
"After lunch, Kunikida-kun!"
"DAZAI!"
They left the Agency together.
As the door closed behind them, Kunikida's indignant shouting continued to echo down the hallway, mingling with Dazai's carefree laughter. The sound made Takemitchi laugh once more as the two of them descended the stairs.
The walk to the bakery was peaceful.
Takemitchi walked with his hands tucked into the pockets of his coat, occasionally greeting shopkeepers who seemed to recognize him from previous visits. Atsushi walked beside him, carrying the hastily written shopping list that he had no idea when had ended up in his pocket, Dazai must have slipped it in there.
After picking up a few loaves of bread, some pastries, and a cake that, according to Kenji, "everyone has to try at least once in their life," Takemitchi carefully checked to make sure they hadn't forgotten anything.
"I think all that's left is the tea the President likes to drink. After that, we can head back."
Atsushi nodded.
"Right."
The two continued walking through the streets of Yokohama. For several minutes, only the sounds of the city accompanied them. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but neither did it feel completely natural. Atsushi was still searching for something to talk about.
It was Takemitchi who finally broke the silence.
"So... how's the Agency been treating you?"
The question was so simple that Atsushi answered almost on instinct.
"Really well." After a brief pause, he added, "Everyone's been very kind to me."
Takemitchi smiled.
"I'm glad. Then everything's all right."
The answer made Atsushi smile again, but it vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared.
"They're all really amazing, and I just..."
His voice trailed off.
Takemitchy only glanced at him, not at his face, but at his hands. where his fingers were gripping the handles of the shopping bags far too tightly. His shoulders remained slightly hunched, and he couldn't quite bring himself to meet Takemitchi's eyes.
Takemitchi recognized those signs.
"Atsushi-kun."
Atsushi looked up.
"How about we make a little detour?"
A few minutes later, the two of them stopped in front of a small crêpe stand. The sweet scent of freshly made batter mingled with the aroma of fruit and melted chocolate.
Takemitchi stepped up to the counter.
"Two, please."
Atsushi immediately reached for his pocket.
"Ah... Takemitchi-san, I can pay for mine."
Before he could even take out his wallet, Takemitchi had already placed the money on the counter.
"Absolutely not."
"But..."
Takemitchi smiled, clearly amused.
"I'm older."
"Even so..."
"Then let this senpai do something nice for you."
Atsushi opened his mouth to protest again, but Takemitchi simply shook his head.
"Next time, you can pay."
The casual way he said it made it sound less like the end of an argument and more like a promise that there would be a next time. Atsushi finally gave in.
"...Thank you."
The two of them made their way to a small park nearby.
They chose a bench beneath a tree whose shade sheltered them from the afternoon sun. For several minutes, they simply watched children playing while they finished their crêpes. The silence was far more comfortable than before. Takemichi never seemed to feel the need to fill every quiet moment. Strangely enough, that made Atsushi feel like he could speak whenever he was ready.
This time, he was the one to break the silence. After all, he was curious.
"Takemichi-san..."
"Hm?"
"How... how did you meet the Agency?"
Takemichi looked down at his crêpe for a few seconds before answering. His smile was still there, but this time it carried a hint of nostalgia and pain.
"I never had much control over my ability. Actually... for most of my life, I didn't even know I had one."
Atsushi turned to him completely.
"You didn't know?"
Takemichi shook his head.
"I only discovered it by accident. After that, I never really tried to learn anything about it. I just accepted things the way they were without ever questioning them."
His gaze fell to his own hand, his expression growing more serious.
"But eventually, I realized I couldn't keep going without understanding it... without learning how to control it."
A faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
"That's how I met Dazai, and than everyone at the Agency. I was looking for any information I could find about people with supernatural abilities, and that's when I found him."
His fingers slowly opened and closed, as if he could feel something invisible resting in his palm.
"They taught me a lot. I understand my ability much better now... and I can control it most of the time. It even evolved into something capable of far more than I ever imagined."
A quiet chuckle escaped him.
"Though it can still be unpredictable sometimes."
There was warmth in that laugh, the kind that came from remembering something painful that had long since become a distant memory.
Then Takemichi turned back to Atsushi.
"It was similar for you too... wasn't it?"
The question made Atsushi's eyes widen.
"H-how...?"
"I don't stay in Yokohama all the time... but everyone at the Agency keeps in touch every now and then. Dazai mentioned he'd taken on a new apprentice."
Atsushi's expression softened.
"So... you already knew about me."
"A little."
Silence returned, but this time it didn't feel uncomfortable. Atsushi spent a few seconds gazing at his hands trying to gather his thoughts. There was something about the way Takemichi spoke that made it easier to say things he usually kept to himself. He didn't seem to be expecting a perfect answer or trying to find a quick fix. He just seemed willing to listen.
"So, you know too..." Atsushi took a deep breath, his fingers tightening slightly against the fabric of his clothes. "About my ability."
Takemichi didn't reply, he simply kept looking at him, giving him space to continue.
"I didn't know I had one," Atsushi admitted after a few seconds. "For most of my life, I didn't even understand what was happening to me. I’d just wake up after situations I couldn't explain, without really remembering what had happened, surrounded by wreckage... and terrified people."
His gaze dropped to his hands.
"I thought there was something wrong with me."
Atsushi’s voice grew quieter.
"When I found out it was an ability, I thought maybe things would get easier. There was finally an explanation for it all. But... that wasn't the case. I just became more afraid."
He hesitated for a moment before continuing.
"Because it meant that the thing inside me was real. That I actually had the power to hurt someone."
Takemichi remained silent, listening to every word.
"Sometimes I still think about it," Atsushi confessed. "Everyone at the Agency seems to know exactly who they are. They know what they can do, they know where they belong... but I'm still trying to accept that this ability is a part of me."
He let out a small, humorless laugh.
"I know they say I'm not a monster. I know they trust me. But a part of me still feels like I'm just waiting for the moment I prove them wrong."
Takemichi didn't answer right away. He simply looked at him for a long moment. Then, after a few seconds, he smiled with quiet understanding.
"I think I understand now why Dazai was so determined for the two of us to talk."
Atsushi tilted his head slightly.
"Why...?"
"Because we're carrying very similar feelings... not exactly the same story. Not exactly the same pain. But... that feeling of looking at yourself and thinking there is something wrong with you."
Those words made Atsushi hold his breath. And Takemichi rested his elbows on his knees. His gaze remained fixed on the children playing in front of them. When he spoke again, his voice was gentle.
"When I was younger... I was a crybaby… I still am"
He smiled without the slightest hint of embarrassment.
"I was a coward, too. The moment someone threw the first punch, I'd freeze. The only thing I could think about was running away."
Atsushi stayed completely still.
"That doesn't seem right."
"Hmm?"
"Everyone at the agency seems to hold you in high regard; Rampo said you're strong."
"He did?!" Takemichi looked surprised and incredulous.
"Well, he said you're strong in your own way.”
We remained silent for a moment, and Takemichi replied.
"I was never strong, Atsushi-kun."
The statement didn't match the way everyone at the Agency talked about him. Before Atsushi could say anything, Takemichi continued.
"For a long time, I thought courage meant not being afraid... but I learned that isn't true. Courage is being afraid. Freezing. Taking a breath. Desperately wanting to run anywhere else..."
Then he lifted his eyes to meet Atsushi's.
"...and taking one step forward anyway. You know, They told me about your entrance exam, Atsushi-kun, you were so brave!"
The words struck Atsushi with unexpected force.
"I was reckless, I didn't have a better plan, and I was afraid the whole time"
"True, but..."
Takemichi continued in the same calm tone.
"Fear does strange things to our minds. When you spend too long believing you have to survive at any cost, your brain starts treating every danger like it could be the end. It tells you to run before you even have a chance to think."
His gaze drifted into the distance.
"And when that happens over and over again... you start believing that you're the problem."
Atsushi slowly lowered his head.
"You begin to think you take up too much space, that you're a burden... that someone else would be better off in your place."
Every sentence felt as though it had been pulled straight from the deepest corners of Atsushi's heart.
"And yet..."
Takemichi smiled once more and gently rested a hand on Atsushi's shoulder.
"Whenever someone needs help... you're the first one to run toward them."
Atsushi looked up.
"You put yourself in harm's way without a second thought to protect people you've only just met. You risk your own life even though you believe it's worth less than everyone else's."
There was a tenderness in Takemichi's smile that was difficult to put into words.
"That's not weakness... That's the heart of a hero."
Atsushi felt something tighten painfully in his chest. His face flushed with embarrassment and emotion.
"A-a hero!?"
Takemichi continued as though he hadn't heard him, looking straight into his eyes now.
"You still can't see your own worth. I know how much that hurts. But just because you can't see it... doesn't mean it isn't there. Maybe that's exactly why you found the Agency."
He glanced up at the sky for a brief moment before finishing.
"Because sometimes... we need other people to believe in us until we learn how to believe in ourselves. And you should trust the Agency, because they're your family."
Takemichi's words lingered in the air between them.
Atsushi kept staring at his own hands, but he could no longer truly see them. A strange warmth tightened in his chest as his vision slowly began to blur.
"..."
He drew in a deep breath, trying to hide the emotions threatening to spill over. When he finally looked up again, his lavender eyes were glistening with unshed tears.
"I..."
His voice caught for a moment. He swallowed hard before trying again.
"Thank you, Takemichi-san."
It wasn't just gratitude for the words.
It was gratitude for being understood.
Takemichi smiled instinctively.
And then...
His smile faltered.
"A-ah..."
He rubbed the back of his neck.
"S-sorry..."
His gaze darted anywhere but Atsushi. The tips of his ears had begun to turn a noticeable shade of red.
"I think... I might've talked a little too much."
An awkward laugh slipped from his lips.
"Wow... that was kind of embarrassing."
Atsushi blinked in confusion.
"Embarrassing?"
"I-I... I don't usually give speeches like that. Honestly... I'm still trying to believe those things myself."
Takemichi lowered his gaze to his own hands. In that moment, he looked much younger... and much more vulnerable.
"There are still days when I wake up thinking I'm just getting in everyone's way... wishing I were stronger, or smarter... or simply... enough."
He gave a small shrug.
"I guess insecurities don't disappear overnight." He took a deep breath before smiling again. This time, it was a peaceful smile. "But... it gets a little easier when someone reminds us of what we've forgotten."
Atsushi felt a lump rise in his throat, because he realized something. Takemichi wasn't speaking only to him, he was speaking to himself as well.
Maybe those were words they both needed to hear.
By the time they returned to the Agency, they could hear the commotion before they even opened the door.
"DAZAI! GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY!"
"But we have to feed the youngsters, Kunikida-kun!"
"YOU COULD'VE DONE THAT WITH YOUR OWN MONEY!"
Takemichi laughed before he had even stepped inside.
As soon as he opened the door, Kenji was the first to notice them.
"They're back!"
"Did you bring the cake?" Ranpo asked immediately, abandoning any pretense of being interested in anything else.
"We did," Takemichi replied, lifting the bag.
Ranpo was already standing beside him before he'd even finished the sentence. As everyone began setting out the afternoon snacks, Atsushi remained by the doorway for a few moments.
His eyes slowly wandered across the room. Where Kunikida was arguing with Dazai, and Kenji and Tanizaki helping set plates on the table. Yosano complaining that no one ever washed their own cups. Takemichi start walking over to Dazai to patch up the bruises he'd earned after Kunikida's beating.
Atsushi smiled.
A smile much lighter than the one he had worn that morning.
Maybe he still couldn't believe he deserved to be there, that feeling would take a long time to disappear. But for the first time since joining the Agency...the idea that, one day, this place might truly become his home no longer seemed impossible. And honestly, he was excited about the idea of a family.