Chapter Text
If there was something Wednesday despised, it was signing her books in bright, spotless bookshops that were more about selling of souls instead of literature. She of course wholeheartedly supported the selling of souls, just not at her expense.
Her first novel slowly but steadily climbed the New York bestseller list. She didn't gain fame overnight - not that she particularly cared about that, especially not now that her editor cornered her into a whole book tour. Granted, her editor listened and all fans were to be kept at an arm's length, the lighting dimmed and of course the most important part as she was writing under a pseudonym: her identity was to remain secret.
After Nevermore, she decided to change the title of the trilogy and name of the main character. Viper de la Muerte didn't seem right anymore as the connotation to her own nickname her father gave her rubbed her the wrong way after everything that happened. Perhaps it was also petty as she couldn't have what her parents had and tried to deny him love this way. She wouldn't dare to dwell on that possibility.
The level of gore in her novel tripled. The love interest trope she added oddly enough worked well. It was her way of writing about her own pining and wishes for something that would never happen. The same curse that would kill her eventually, made her parents thrive. It was poetic justice as she always said she didn't need nor want love.
She only had herself to blame for taking so long before accepting her feelings, and thus her fate.
The last stop on her book tour was in San Francisco at her own behest. She wasn't even sure why she was so nervous, because there was no way that a particular person was even interested in her gruesome books. There was no way she'd even show up, so why was Wednesday feeling a peculiar ache in the pit of her stomach? Surely it wasn't a bad batch of cyanide. Or maybe it was because after this, she was free to perhaps visit a friend that still lived in the city for the very last time.
"Yoko, pleeeeaase." Enid knew there was no way that Yoko would wait with her for hours if she told her of her plans in advance. "I really want an autograph."
"Dude. Are you crazy? I know I don't need sleep, but you're insane. Why do you even care about a random scribble in a book?" She sighed dramatically. "Gimme, I'll write something for you."
Enid hugged her backpack closer to her chest. "No! That's not the same. I just... I dunno. Relate to the characters or something."
Yoko looked at her skeptically. "Who is this author anyway?" She raised an eyebrow.
"No one knows! The name is a fake. You know how much I love gossip. There's nothing! The name just popped outta nowhere on the bestseller list overnight!" Enid bounced in place. They neared the small bookstore where more than 50 people were already queued up. "Wow."
"Damn son. Who's this dude? Is he hot?" Yoko walked over to take a spot in line. "What's the book even about?" She asked loud enough for half the line to give her a side eye of unworthiness. "Calm your tits," she whispered dramatically.
Enid sighed heavily. "Well, I glossed over all the nasty bloody stuff, y'know. There's this really sweet developing romance between the main character and the, well, sidekick, I guess you could call it? Someone on TikTok recommended it and yeaaah, it's really good."
Yoko lowered her glasses. "Romance, fine. But you and willingly reading a book with 'blood stuff' in it?" She gestured with her hands to emphasize how she didn't believe it. "You still faint at the sight of blood!"
"...I do not."
"Shall I remind you of the time you went-" Yoko got interrupted by a hand on her mouth and Enid yelling 'lalala can't hear you!'
Yoko wrestled the hand away. "Sure, wolfy. You sure you're not just hoping it's Wedns-"
"-It's not. Her book was about Viper, I read some of it. Besides... We don't even talk anymore. Let's not ruin my mood, alright?" Her voice got lower near the end and she had to regulate her breathing to stop from crying right then and there.
Her friend thankfully understood and wrapped an arm around her. "So, can I see the book?" Yoko asked.
Enid rummaged through her backpack and then went very still for a second, before yelling, causing the line to look over in mild alarm. "SHIT! I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO BRING IT! OH EM GEE. DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE EXTRA COPIES? WHAT IF THE AUTHOR THINKS I'M AN IDIOT IF I LET THEM WRITE IT ON A PIECE OF PAPER AND-"
"Enid!" Yoko shook her. "Calm the fuck down!" She exaggerated her own breathing so Enid could mimic it. "It's a book signing. They want to sell them, of course they have copies. It's alright."
This was tedious, and mildly frustrating. Her hand was cramping and there were at least a dozen or more people waiting in line. She had half a mind to swap her own hand for Things so he could sign on her behalf, but he refused to be used like that. Traitor.
The only saving grace was that she didn't have to speak - much. She had a voice modulator, but preferred to let her manager ask for the names and whatever note they wanted in their copies. It would've been fine except for the fact that people nowadays had the craziest of spellings of traditional names. She couldn't remember the amount of apostrophes she had used in names the last hour - it was sixteen. Absolutely repulsive.
If these were the kind of fans she had, she wasn't sure she wanted them at all. Then again, she couldn't blame her fans, only their parents who decided to name them something utterly ridiculous.
She closed the book she signed and slid it back to the person in front of her. She could see them, but they couldn't see her. Only her hands were visible, the rest was behind a desk and a one-way mirror. She was boxed in, she preferred that over curtains all around. Curtains could be yanked down by crazed fans and being boxed in reminded her of old times. It felt safe enough.
She heard the next pair before she saw them arriving from her peripheral vision. Her heart stuttered. Although she was glad to be wearing gloves, her hands were slightly shaking. She wanted a break and at the same time none at all. She willed herself to stay calm and nodded to her manager.
"Names?" her manager asked.
"Yoko and Enid, but it's actually just Enid that wants the autograph. I didn't even read the book."
Wednesday didn't know how to feel about any of it. She nodded to her manager.
"Actually-" she heard Enid speak and her voice was doing things to Wednesday she wasn't sure she liked. "I forgot my copy, can I buy one here?"
It was so completely and utterly Enid to forget the very thing you came for. Her manager was about to make the transaction when she picked up a book from the stack next to her and started to write.
She didn't know what possessed her but somehow she needed Enid to know. It felt like some kind of weight fell off her shoulders. Not only did Enid read her book, she loved it enough to get an autograph from the writer - from her.
Enid was still discussing with her manager when she lightly slammed the book down, cover closed again, and slid it towards the pair.
Enid frowned, glued to the spot. Yoko had to nudge her towards the table to pick up the book. "T-thank you. You didn't have to do that. I swear I have your book at home. Thank you for writing it and sharing it with the world."
The words were spoken fast but Wednesday got every word. People usually asked her about what's going to happen in the next book or something about the characters, or how they loved it. They never thanked her for writing it in the first place.
Something lurched in the pit of her stomach and it wasn't the cyanide she had with her quad over ice.
Enid read the note on the way out. Her heart skipped a beat before beating so rapidly she almost tripped over her own feet - well actually, she did, but Yoko luckily caught her.
"You good? What did they write? And wasn't the box they hid behind a bit weird? Even their hands were gloved. Ooohh, maybe they had a gnarly accident when they were younger and they're all disfigured. Or even born disfigured!-"
Enid stopped listening, clutching the book close to her chest. SHE is definitely NOT disfigured, she's hauntingly beautiful. "Yokes, you're right. I do need sleep after all. Rain check on lunch? I'll make it up to you, I promise."
Yoko furrowed her eyebrows and stared at her for a few seconds. "Can I see the book?" She had her hands outstretched, ready to grab.
"No!" Enid yelled back. "I mean. Can I just... Savor it first before I share? Please?" She knew she had her then.
Yoko sighed. "Fine. But you're not off the hook!"
"Wouldn't have it any other way. See you soon?"
"You bet, wolfie!"
They hugged and said their goodbyes before Enid all but sprinted towards the subway station, clutching the book close to her chest. As she sat in the subway, her mind replayed what she read over and over. She was afraid to look at the page to confirm it was really there or just a figment of her imagination.
She didn't even know she got home, sitting on the couch, the book closed on the coffee table. She stared at it for God knows how long before standing up and pacing the room.
"...Enid, don't be stupid. Either it's written there or it's not..." She stopped and inhaled deeply. "... Don't make yourself go crazy by the what ifs. Verify first. Isn't that what Wedns- shit. Okay. Focus. Open the book."
She sat down again and took the book in her lap. She opened it - and promptly closed it again.
Taking a deep breath, she opened it again to one of the first pages. One she never looked at before, because who reads whatever's there before chapter 1? Not her.
There in printed ink it only said: WWED?
In the middle of the page.
Written above it in neat handwriting was:
To my muse: Enid Sinclair.
And below it was a phone number followed by the letters W.F.A.
Holy fucking shit.
Wednesday was getting agitated. She had hoped to be done soon, but people kept coming to see her. Her last fan tried to take her glove off. She broke two of his fingers while keeping her identity hidden and promptly threw his crying ass to her manager who only sighed loudly in response. She would never tell anyone that the altercation left her so tired she could feel the ache in her bones.
She was getting more than agitated and wanted nothing more than to maim someone just to keep her mind occupied. It was just unfortunate her brother was back in New Jersey still. She would deny it if anyone asked, but she checked her phone four times in the last fifteen minutes. It's not that she expected a reply so soon if at all, but wasn't Enid normally glued to her phone? Or had so much changed in mere months? She sat up a tad straighter and signed the last few books. Her hand was cramping beautifully so at least she could focus on that.
Her manager was babbling on and on and on about how this book signing session was such a success and spouted ideas on how to keep the momentum going. Wednesday wasn't interested. She just wanted to write and publish. What happened after that wasn't particularly important. Fame was not for her.
Wednesday reached the room of the hotel she was staying in. She booked it for three days but was now starting to rethink that idea. If Enid didn't reach out, then what use did she have in San Francisco? It was too humid here anyway.
Putting a fresh piece of paper in her trusty typewriter, her fingers found their positions on the keyboard. Yet, none of her fingers actually pressed down on the keys to create a world in ink. Instead, she sat there motionlessly, staring into the blank paper. Personalizing the message to Enid might've been a mistake. Why did she reveal her identity? What if Enid told anyone? No. She threw that thought away instantly, there was no way Enid would do that. If she ever knew her at all, then she at least knew that.
Suddenly it felt like the inside of her body was on fire. It was the curse telling her that she didn't do enough. That she had her one and only chance and messed it up. As she tried to regulate her breathing again, her phone pinged in her bag where she left it on the hook next to the door.
Contemplating on whether she wanted to know who it was and what it said or whether it was better to not know lest she die right here in this very hotel room due to some form of rejection, she didn't get to think about it long. Her phone pinged again. And again. And again. Then nothing for half a minute, before it pinged one last time. Curiosity got the better of her so she walked over to pick up her phone. She unlocked the screen and walked towards the couch to sit down.
Wednesday?!
Is it really you???
Sorry, I can't believe it!!!
Or is this a joke? Would you really have a phone to begin with?
The feeling of being burned alive faded instantly. The corner of her mouth ticked upward at the message. Enid still knew her.
Yes, Enid. I foolishly believed my initials and the page I wrote it on didn't leave any room for misidentification. It was my mistake.
It took mere seconds before a reply came in.
OH EM GEE!!! IT IS YOU!!!
Wednesday stared at her screen trying to figure out how that last message was the one that gave it away. Then, a call came through. A video call.
She stared at it for a while until it finally stopped.
Sorry. I thought maybe..
You wanted to see me?
I didn't mean to make you uncomf
Texting is fine. Or maybe just call?
I'd like to hear your voice
BUT!
You don't have to
No pressure
At all
Calling would be okay, wouldn't it? She'd rather see Enid in person, though.
I really like your book
Maybe too much gore
I didn't read all of that obv
The rest is soo good
obv
Wednesday decided that all these messages were highly inefficient.
Enid, would you like to meet with me?
Sufficed to say that Enid not only accepted but was eager to see her just mere hours from now. The only problem is that Enid wanted to cook for them in her apartment. She eviscerated s'mores in the past because she couldn't concentrate on one thing propeely. Wednesday wasn't sure what to expect and thought about bringing a fire extinguisher, just to be sure. Though she loved a good fire, she didn't want to see the sadness on Enid having all her things destroyed.
It didn't take her long to decide on an outfit. She secretly also hoped to see how the change in attire might affect Enid, if at all. It had the added perk of masking how much weight she lost lately.
Distracting herself with some writing, the minutes ticked by faster than she realized. Not having Lurch with her would forever be a loss, but at least most Uber drivers read the notes when she asked them to not speak to her unnecessarily. When they did as told, a big tip was given. When they tried to make small talk anyway, she promptly put them in their place. If they decided to kidnap her? Well, that would most likely result in an even bigger tip, unfortunately she hadn't had the pleasure yet.
Enid lived in a bad neighborhood. Wednesday reveled in the way men were underestimating her as she walked past them. She however, decidedly did not like that Enid had to walk past these types of people everyday, even if she was a werewolf and could most likely take them in her sleep.
She arrived at the building. There was no doorman and no need to even call in, the door was unlocked. It seemed to have been broken for quite some time now. Deciding to forego the ancient looking elevator, she took the stairs up to the 14th floor. At the 6th floor she saw someone slumped down near the end of the hallway with a needle sticking out of his arm. There are more interesting ways to get high. - or die. At the 8th floor two kids were playing with a tennis ball in the hallway, oblivious to the conditions they were living in. The 10th floor had someone blasting some form of music Wednesday would never appreciate. She had half a mind to tear the cables from the speakers herself as she'd rather die listening to Enid's Korean pop music than this. The prospect of seeing Enid sooner rather than later fortunately won out fairly quickly.
She knocked twice and barely had to wait a second before the door flew open. There, clad in a muted pink dress stood Enid. She barely registered it though because the moment their eyes met, Wednesday was overwhelmed by a feeling she couldn't place. She blinked. Then quickly flicked her eyes to the rest of Enid's attire. Enid wasn't wearing any shoes, only knee high socks. Why are her legs so appealing?
"Enid. It's good to see you," she settled on. "You look nice." Nice? You imbecile.
It took Enid more time to respond than it did to open the door. Wednesday saw how Enid shook her head at something. "Wednesday! I can't believe it's really you!" she all but squealed.
"Would you give any random person your home address, Enid?"
The smile on Enid's face was unexpected. She wasn't trying to make a joke after all.
"Still haven't changed a bit, I see. Well, except for-" She gestured wildly at Wednesday's attire. "Shit! Come in! I'm so sorry!" Enid grabbed her hand and quickly guided her inside.
Wednesday went willingly. Enid's hands were clammy like they always seemed to be, but somehow it didn't bother her. What did bother her was how Enid immediately let go when they were inside.
"Yeah, shoes off if you don't mind."
The corner of Wednesday's mouth shot up minutely. "I don't mind at all. It's refreshing to see these kinds of hygiene standards. I approve. I don't wear any shoes in my home either." She took her shoes off and unfortunately was shorter than Enid once again.
Enid was fidgeting with her hands, but her gaze was still on Wednesday. She could feel it. Marvelous. "Well, if you're not going to show me around, perhaps I can sit somewhere?" Wednesday raised her eyebrow a bit.
Just as Enid opened her mouth, the smoke alarm went off, shocking her into action.
"Shit! Shit! Shit! Nonononononono not today!" Wednesday heard Enid yell as she ran off. She followed after her. Smoke filled the tiny kitchen making her cough once. Enid took the pan off the stove before turning the fire off. Waving her hands around to see the smoke detector, she finally clicked it off by simply reaching for it on her tiptoes. It made Wednesday a tiny bit envious.
"I'm so sorry Wedns. The food is ruined."
Enid looked like she was at the verge of crying, and the shortening of her name did things to Wednesday. She didn't care about the food at all. She did, however, appreciate the effort. She approached Enid slowly and held out both arms. She would never admit it, but she held her breath.
Enid froze for exactly three seconds before she closed the distance and wrapped her arms around Wednesday.
Warmth instantly flooded Wednesday's body. The feeling so foreign yet so familiar and calming.
"You never allowed hugs, now you initiate them? You did change after all," Enid whispered playfully.
Wednesday had to hold her tongue. She wanted to say it was only for Enid, but that would perhaps scare her away. Wouldn't it? "Shall we order some food?" Wednesday asked as she ended the hug. It elicited a high pitched sound from Enid that she couldn't quite place. Enid turned away quickly, pretending to look at the ruined food.
"Uh yeah. Yeah, of course. What would you like?"
Wednesday studied her. Her voice was off, strained even. Enid refused eye contact and her shoulders seemed slouched more than usual. Something was amiss.
"What did you try to make us?" Wednesday asked instead.
"Well, actually, a butter chicken."
That was an interesting choice. She mentioned wanting to try it years ago but was weary of the amounts of butter in it. Did Enid truly remember that?
"I look forward to tasting it another time."
Enid whirled around at that statement. "Another time? You'd come over again?"
Wednesday frowned minutely. Why wouldn't she? "Unless I don't get another invite, I'd like that."
A smile broke through on Enid's face again. "Yeah. I'd like that too," she softly said.
"Then it's settled. Can I help with the dishes?"
"No! You can just, uh, order something on UberEats, I'll just be a few minutes. Sit down on the couch, make yourself comfortable."
Wednesday deliberately kept silent. She barely learned how to work Uber, the taxi service, and wasn't even sure how to download another application on the device. She went to go sit on the couch, waiting patiently for Enid instead.
You're a major idiot. First you ruin the food and then you make a fool out of yourself. She hugged you. She didn't propose. Then you distanced yourself for no reason. What's wrong with you? Get a grip!
*Agreed.*
Great. Even her wolf thought she was being stupid. That was just great.
She threw the food into the garbage bin and started to scrub out the pan. The sooner she did this, the easier it was. Luckily it was just one pan and a colander she needed to clean. It took her a record time of 6 minutes before her kitchen was somewhat presentable again.
She had to hype herself up before meeting Wednesday in the living room.
Enid's apartment was, by all accounts, not what Wednesday expected. It was almost sad for a lack of a better word. Its color tone was muted, it was clutter free. No, there was barely anything here except for some bare necessities.
There wasn't even an TV.
She tried to look for a laptop of some kind, but came up empty. Perhaps it was in Enid's bedroom. The woman itself didn't seem less joyful than she remembered, so maybe her taste just changed as some sort of overcompensation for how she was at Nevermore. Wednesday didn't believe it for a second. She was lost in thoughts when Enid emerged from the kitchen.
"Did you find something you want?"
Wednesday looked up at the question. "Truthfully, I don't have this Uber Eats application and am unsure how to get it. I don't think I even want it on my phone."
Enid smiled and came closer to sit next to her on the couch, leaving enough room between them to not feel suffocated.
Not that she would mind. Maybe.
"Thats totes fair. I keep getting spammed by notifications anyway. Here." Enid pushed some buttons and showed her the screen. "These are the options and oh, here are the sale items. But it's fine either way. Pick whatever you'd like to eat."
Wednesday mulled that over. "What would you like?" While her eyes were on the screen, she saw how Enid froze next to her from the corner of her eyes. It took less than a second more than would be normal for Enid to respond.
"Oh, I'm good actually. I'm not hungry. I already ate earlier."
The tone of voice, the cadence, the pitch - it was all wrong. She was lying Wednesday concluded, but why?
Wednesday put the phone face down on the couch next to her and away from Enid, and faced her. "Enid, you're a wolf. You need more nutrients. Besides, it's a full moon tonight."
Enid got up from the couch and started to pretend to tidy up things on the coffee table and refold the blanket hanging over the couch. "I don't need to shift during a full moon necessarily, so it's fine."
The refusal of eye contact, the fidgeting. It was becoming to much. Did she do something wrong? "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable but you know that I can tell that you're lying to me. I just cannot figure out why."
Enid dropped the blanket onto the couch and inhaled deeply. Her shoulders slumped. "Can you just let it go and find something to eat? I'd really like to talk about how you're doing and what you've been up to. Catch up, you know?"
Her voice and eyes were pleading. Wednesday knew it, would respect it, but... She couldn't let it go. "Isn't part of 'catching up' as you call it also to talk about unpleasant things? Perhaps I could be of assistance, or at least let you complain to me. You used to do the all the time."
Enid looked at her, took two steps forward and slumped onto the couch, a little closer than before. "Yeah... But only if you promise me you won't offer your assistance, nor your pity. I can do this on my own."
A fire lit up in Wednesday's eyes. "I don't doubt your abilities to take things upon yourself. You are formidable, Enid. I would never pity you-"
"Yeah, you wouldn't, would you," Enid interjected. Something wistful in her voice that Wednesday chose to ignore for the time being.
"-But if I can assist in any way, I want to. Not because you're less, but because I want to. Because.. You're you, Enid. My best friend."
Enid's head snapped up to hers. "Am- am I still?"
She didn't like how Enid's voice wavered. Her eyes were blurry and she was almost certain that Enid was on the verge of crying again. Her heart hurt along with it. "Yes. Didn't you call us 'BFFs'? If I'm not mistaken that means best friends for life, right? Or do you just throw that term around carelessly? If so, I'm just gonna-" She pretended to get up to go. Her legs barely lifted before Enid's hand shot out and onto her legs to keep her seated.
"No! Don't go. I meant it. I mean it. I just..." she trailed off.
She had to refrain from smiling at that action and the fact that Enid didn't remove her hand instantly. "You just, what?" Wednesday prompted.
"Didn't know you felt the same way."
I do not think we feel the same way entirely. But I will take best friends over nothing at all. "I do," she settled on quickly.
"Good. That's good." Enid smiled towards her lap, taking her hand back and decidedly not looking back at Wednesday.
"So?"
"I'm a little low on funds at the moment. That's part of the reason I wanted to cook for you here, to control the cost."
Wednesday hummed. She figured that out already. "What's the other part of the reason?"
"Huh what? Oh. Privacy? I know you value it, you would be on high alert in a restaurant. Just like you were whenever we went somewhere in Jericho."
It was true so Wednesday couldn't even deny it. "Thank you for your consideration. I appreciate it and you are right." She grabbed Enid's hand back to make her look at her. Enid's eyes snapped to their hands before looking intently at Wednesday, not attempting to take away her hand or move it in any way. "How about this? I pay for food this time and you can cook for us the next time? Does that sound fair?"
"But I invited y-"
"You know I don't care for protocol or things like that."
"Okay."
Enid quickly leaned in closer and softly, but firmly placed a kiss on Wednesday's cheek before moving back again and taking her hand with her.
Wednesday blinked thrice in rapid succession. She is going to be the death of me. Absolutely marvelous. She took the phone back into her hand and shoved it to Enid. "Please pick wherever you like. If you don't, I will just other the whole menu and stuff it in your freezer."
Enid snorted and it was like music to Wednesday's ears.
While they were waiting for their food to arrive, they talked about the four months they didn't communicate. Wednesday spoke about the launch of her book and how and why she changed certain things and how much she hated but respected her manager, and about Thing and her family in general.
When Wednesday tried to ask about Enid's family, she dodged the question, which Wednesday conceded to. When she asked about the apartment, Enid tried to do it again. Wednesday couldn't let it go entirely. "Why stay in San Francisco?" It was a rather safe question, she assumed.
Enid frowned like it was a preposterous question. "Because it's all I've ever known. I couldn't just up and go somewhere randomly. At least San Fran is familiar. It feels safe."
Wednesday had to bite her tongue until she drew blood to keep herself from saying how unsafe this neighborhood was. They were quiet for several seconds until Wednesday went and just asked: "Did you ever consider New Jersey?"
She saw Enid discreetly sniffing the air and seemed to be either contemplating something or otherwise conflicted. Eventually, she spoke. "Yes, but no." She got up and started to look at her watch before pretending to tidy the coffee table again and asking what she wanted to drink as the food would arrive any minute now. She was rambling. It would've been a nice reminder of their time at Nevermore if it wasn't for the fact that Enid also tended to ramble to stop herself from saying something she thought she shouldn't say.
"Would you care to elaborate on that?"
"I'd rather not embarr-"
"Please?" Wednesday asked. She never pleaded and Enid knew it.
Enid sat down on the coffee table facing Wednesday but not looking at her. "I considered it but didn't think you'd appreciate me nagging you non stop about places and things. Plus, I didn't even know you'd get a phone! And you guys kinda live in the middle of nowhere. And..." She finally looked up before looking away again. "I didn't think you'd want me there." She cleared her throat. "Yoko wanted me to move with her to Romania but hey, leaving the whole frigging continent seemed like too big of a step. A leap even! So nope. So yeah, San Fran."
That was a lot of information and she was sure Enid didn't even breathe in between. She felt a surge of hopelessness at Enid saying she briefly thought about considering Romania but it quickly went away to make room for confusion.
"I cannot deny my family lives on the very outskirts of town, but Enid, it would make me happy to have you closer."
There she said it. It was plain as day, wasn't it?
It wasn't.
"It would? I just thought you tolerated me until graduation. You even said as much."
By Merlin. She did. But she didn't mean it truly. Didn't Enid understand there were no bite to her words? It was sarcasm for Devil's sake.
"Although I did say I don't say things without meaning them, I'm sure you've taken note of my perceived sarcasm to mask emotion." She wasn't entirely sure she wanted Enid to know about one of her suits of armor, but here she was, laying herself bare anyway.
"I... Yes. I just. I didn't... Dare to hope otherwise."