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A party.
He was at a party.
That’s all Mike could process after a few too many people knocked into him or yelled a little too close to his ear. He was rapidly looking around for… anyone really, anyone who would notice the thin sheen of sweat atop his forehead and how his bangs slowly started to stick all over his face.
His heart felt like it was trying to brunt force its way out of his chest. He hadn’t even drank, or smoked anything.
Mike rubbed his now damp hands against the sides of his jeans just hoping a praying the abysmal amount of sweat coming out of the palm of his hands wasn’t enough to create a wet patch. He took a few deep breaths, or as deep as he could manage which wasn’t much.
Maybe his friends were in the dense crowd but his eyes wouldn’t focus long enough for him to actually process their presence. So he eventually realized that his best bet was moving outside; which required him to shift through the crowd of people.
It had to get worse before it gets better right?
So he walked through the crowd to the beat of his heart…which was dangerously fast so he likely looked like a rat scampering away after being spotted. This thought only served to light his nerves on fire as Mike slowed down purposefully to avoid catching more people’s eyes.
This valiant effort was just that, him changing speeds like a teenager learning stick shift only served to make more people look at him like he was crazy.
Maybe he was crazy.
This whole heart-racing-clammy-palms started when Will left his side to go chat with his art friends, which was totally fine and Mike wasn’t jealous…he was just unanchored.
They had originally came as a group, with the typical characters in Max, Lucas, El, and Dustin tagging along with them. The party had to shove into various spaces in Dustin’s mini van. Realistically there should’ve been enough room for everyone to have their own seat (and seatbelt) but Dustin hadn’t taken out any of his testing equipment from an off campus activity so there was very limited spots.
Max went on Lucas lap, obviously, El was in the passenger seat buzzing with excitement at going to a real college party, and Will was in the middle seat smushed against Mike in a way that made Mike feel like his whole left side was being caressed lit matches.
He ignored this feeling and opted to look out the window and think of cool, non how-attractive-my-best-friend-is thoughts.
Like usual.
When they all got to the party they inevitably split up to accomplish their individual missions.
Max took Lucas to go make drinks.
Dustin ended up infront of the TV, where ghost busters were playing, to ramble off facts about the special effects.
El was dancing with a small group of girls, and was currently in the middle of their dance circle.
The singular person that Mike couldn’t spot while shifting through the crowd was the one person he actually wanted. He finally made it outside and was met with the brisk night air. Goosebumps erupted under his skin which only fed into the overstimulation he felt.
He shuffled towards the wall and sat down against it in an effort to rest and elevate his anxieties.
You would be less than shocked to find out that it only got worse.
Mike felt like he couldn’t breathe, he was alone, cold, and honest to god scared. Is this how Will felt? Anguish filled his rib cage as he remembered the time where his dearest friend was stuck in essentially hell and came back with the hell inside him.
His breaths came out in jagged puffs that he tried to correct and only made more shallow and fast. He covered his eyes with the palm of his hand, pushing in until the blossoming of blue and yellow appeared behind his eyes. Anything to ground him, anything to stop feeling like his running 100 miles per hour and yet sinking in tar.
He vaguely heard the screen door open and shut but chose to ignore it, figuring it was one of his many delusions.
“Mike?”
Oh thank god, Will is here. Mike thought to himself as he looked up.
He looked debauched to say the least. He was sweaty, his eyes were red, and he was shaking like he was freezing.
“Oh my god are you okay?” Will asked in a rushed manner, not quite knowing what is happening to his friend yet. Mike could only shrug in response and let out a pained breath.
“Okay..okay, I think I learned how to deal with this in my psychology class last semester,” Will paused as he was uncertain that this would help. “Can you tell me five things that you can see?”
Mike only really saw Will in this moment, “You.” But he forced himself to look around. “A tree.” He gestured vaguely behind Will. “My shoes…your rings, and uhm the moon.”
“Great, awesome. You’re doing so good.” Will reassured him which lit a very different kind of fire underneath Mikes skin, like when you get hot laundry dumped on you by your mother. “What are four things you can feel.”
Mike nodded and took a deep breath, subtly the tension in his arms loosened. “The wall behind me, the gravel…” he shuffled closer to Will, who has now sat down beside him. He leaned against him slightly, “you”.
Will smiled gently and helpfully supplied one last feeling by blowing cool air onto Mikes face, “cool air, um, from you.”
Mike rubbed his hands on his jeans, he felt awkward and his heart won’t slow down but it’s slowly becoming invigorating instead of suffocating.
“You’re doing great, give me three things you can hear.” He said sweetly
While it’s unrealistic, and silly, Mike only wants to hear Will for the foreseeable future but he knows he has to give more than that.
“You, the music, and a door that just slammed.” His voice grew steadier as his body gained awareness that he was not in danger and simply in a social situation.
Will nodded and rubbed his arm a little, “great, great. What are two things you can smell.”
Despite his efforts Mike blushed slowly, all he could smell was Wills cologne.
He took a deep breath and smiled to himself. Then he really looked at Will, who has always been there for him and cared about him. Mike tries to remember when the roles were reversed but he really cannot. All his brain supplies him with is when Will came out but that was a real fear not an invisible force.
Then he thought about how Will kept looking at him during his speech and how he always talked about his crush when looking at him. Mike tilted his head at his other half, who was looking at him expectantly for his response.
He always waited for him, well they waited for each other. It was a system they had and it made sense. Everything about them made sense from the way they’ve been (nearly) inseparable throughout their childhoods. In the way that they would always gravitate towards each other; bumping hands and elbows which led to shared giggles and looks that only they could decipher.
Mike has always loved Will, everyone knows this. Mike is never normal about Will, he’s got to be around him or know where he is or else he loses his anchor that keeps him from being caught by the violent waves,
“I smell your cologne…and the weed inside.”
This earns an honest laugh from Will, who seems to notice that Mike has improved considerably.
“Okay Mike, one more thing. What’s one thing you can taste.”
Now, Micheal Wheeler knows that he should’ve logically and correctly said that he tastes the aftertaste of the burger he ate earlier but he doesn’t. Instead he shifts onto his knees and faces a now perplexed Will.
He takes a deep breath and weighs his options. He could kiss Will and finally give in to the temptation their friendship has always balanced upon, or he could say something else.
Mike drags his hands up Wills arms and rests them on the junction between his neck and shoulders. He leans in and gives him a quick kiss on the lips, not short enough that it is barely felt but not too long for it to be an earnest kiss.
“You,”
Will laughs, “god, I’ve been waiting on you to do that all year.” He says before dragging Mike back in for a much more earnest kiss.
He grabs the back of his neck and sucks him in, like this is really and truly the only thing he needs in this moment.
Mike makes a sound that could only be described as a whimper as he melts into the kiss. He really should’ve locked in all of the clues sooner because this is genuinely what magic feels like. He always thought that kissing was supposed to be plain and surface level but right now he feels like Will is clutching his soul in his hands and loving caressing it.
They inevitably pull apart, which gives Mike the opportunity to all but word vomit. “I’m.. I’m sorry I should’ve asked I just felt like that’s what I needed…that you are what I need and I just couldn’t control myself. You’re the light of my life but I should’ve asked-“
“Mike, I promise you it’s okay. I’ve been waiting for you to kiss me” Will laughs out. “What? You knew I had feelings for you?” “I didn’t know for sure but I was very hopeful. You treated me softer than everyone so I figured you might maybe like me.”
Mike finally lets out a laugh, “I think I’ve always had feelings for you…”
“Me too, all I’ve ever known is loving you.” Will admits bashfully. Mike smiled widely and placed a small kiss to the side of his mouth.
“Maybe we should go out sometime? Only if you want of course.”
“I’d like nothing more.”