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"Please // All I did was dream of you // Swimming in my mind again // Wanting to waste time again // Ease // Always so easy with you // I don't have to think // Pour another drink"
⋆*⊹･꒰𑁬♡໒꒱･⊹*⋆
The first time Kou Minamoto dreamed of his dead friend, he didn't think anything of it.
The vision within his slumbering state started out normal—nothing but darkness.
Then…a flicker of light. A whisper of that familiar pink hair and peach eyes.
Kou didn't understand it. Sousuke Mitsuba had died a while ago. At least, the original one had. The Mitsuba that he knew now, the one that had turned into a ghost and even became Wonder Number 3 of the school, had disappeared in a flurry of triangles.
He wasn't aware why his dreams were showing him the face that he mourned every day.
Maybe it was because he had been thinking about him so much. Maybe it was because of his mourning that his mind was giving him this in a feeble attempt at comfort. Maybe it was because of all the things they had left unsaid. That Kou wished he had said.
But it was too late for any of that. Instead, all he had left were the glimpses of the boy he knew.
And that was all he really needed. Well, that was what he told himself, anyway.
However, he quickly realized that was not the case at all when he locked eyes with the Mitsuba in front of him.
Kou tried to speak, opening his mouth to say something, anything, but no sound came out. He wanted to reach out and touch him, to feel his presence and make sure he was really there, but he couldn't move.
He couldn't do anything. He supposed he should have been afraid, but he felt nothing. He wasn't scared. He wasn't happy. He wasn't angry. He was just…there.
The dream, or whatever was going on inside his mind while his body was elsewhere fast asleep, was over all too soon. He wished it wasn't, just so he could stay staring at Mitsuba for a little while longer.
Mitsuba smiled.
"I'm waiting for you, Minamoto."
The sound of his voice sent a bolt of shock through Kou's body.
Then he began walking away.
No, don't go! Kou thought helplessly. It was no use. The dream was fading.
Don't leave me again.
He awoke in his bed, a single tear having trailed down his cheek.
"And I want it all the time // While I'm yours and you are mine // Going steady 'til we lie, high at sunrise // All I wanted was to see // Everything you see in me // Everything I wanna be, high at sunrise"
⋆*⊹･꒰𑁬♡໒꒱･⊹*⋆
Kou didn't have any more odd dreams for a few days. He thought that would be the last time he saw Mitsuba—in a weird dream where he gave him a cryptic message.
But it wasn't.
He fell asleep, with no thoughts of his dead friend whatsoever. It was quite peaceful.
Until the dream began.
It started out similar to the last one, the only thing appearing in a sea of darkness being Mitsuba. What was different this time, however, was that Kou could move.
He stepped closer to Mitsuba, who made no move to acknowledge the orange-haired boy before him.
"Mitsuba?" Kou asked, startling at the sound of his own voice. He didn't think he would actually be able to speak.
Mitsuba didn't answer. Could he not see him?
Maybe their roles were reversed this time. Maybe it was Mitsuba who had lost the ability to move and talk.
It made Kou feel worried. Would this be his final interaction with Mitsuba? Forced to stare at his immovable body that can't speak?
Kou reached out, pausing just before his fingers made contact with Mitsuba's shoulder. He was hesitating, but he wasn't sure why. He wanted this. He wanted to feel him, to confirm that he was truly there.
He decided he couldn't wait a moment longer. He brought his hand down, and it was supposed to land directly on the pink fabric of Mitsuba's sweater. But that wasn't what happened. Instead, Kou's hand passed right through, dropping to his side in surprise.
It was a chilling sensation, one that sent a cold feeling down his spine. He immediately recoiled, taking a step back.
That wasn't when he realized something was pulling him away, some invisible force that was dragging him further and further from Mitsuba.
"Mitsuba!" Kou shouted, but he was too far now.
It was only when he woke up in a cold sweat that he decided he needed to tell someone about his weird dreams. And he knew just who to go to.
"Stay, stay or just leave // Stay or just leave me be // Stay or just leave me be"
⋆*⊹･꒰𑁬♡໒꒱･⊹*⋆
"Your face is telling me that there's something wrong," Nene pointed out. "What's wrong?"
Kou looked down at the chocolate croissant in front of him. When he had texted Nene that he wanted to hang out and talk, she had immediately suggested her favorite cafe. It was like she had a sixth sense that let her know just what Kou needed.
And that was why he told her about his current situation.
"I haven't been getting much sleep lately," he began. "I've been having these dreams, and they don't seem to be going away."
Nene gave him a caring look, which turned into something more cautious as she spoke. "Are they about…Mitsuba?"
They were both aware it was a sensitive topic. Nene had also lost someone, so they knew how the other felt about it.
"Do you get dreams about Hanako?"
Nene tilted her head to the side in contemplation. "He shows up from time to time, but nothing happens that's concerning. It definitely doesn't prevent me from getting a healthy amount of sleep." She straightened, taking a sip of her coffee. "What about you?"
Kou took a deep breath before answering. "I feel like he's actually there," he said. "The first time he showed up, I couldn't move or speak, and he told me that he's waiting for me. The last time, our positions were reversed, and he was the one who didn't move or speak." He glanced back down at his croissant. "I tried to touch his shoulder, but my hand passed right through." He forced himself to lift his eyes to Nene's. "Has anything like that happened to you?"
Nene shook her head. "My dreams have always been lighthearted and made me feel happy. I guess with recent events, they haven't been as frequent, but I haven't had any weird ones."
The more Nene talked, the more Kou wondered what was wrong with him. Why was he having these dreams? Why was Mitsuba acting so odd in them? Why was Mitsuba even in them at all?
"Are you sure you're okay, Kou? If these dreams keep happening, you should talk to someone other than me so they can help you," she told him.
"Thanks, Nene. But you don't need to worry about me!"
He said it with so much enthusiasm that he almost believed it himself.
"I'll be okay!"
"Nightmares always feel like this // They swallow me // But I let go // Doesn't feel like I can breathe (stay with me for a while) // They follow me (now it's inside of the dark) // But I let go (instead, I love in denial) // Yeah, I let go"
⋆*⊹･꒰𑁬♡໒꒱･⊹*⋆
Kou was afraid of falling asleep the next few nights, but after a sudden lack of dreams, he managed to go back to a somewhat healthy sleep schedule.
Until he found himself in something that became more of a nightmare.
He was in the school hallway. The memory resurfaced immediately, bringing with it the familiar feelings of grief that he had experienced when he had witnessed the events the first time.
He watched again in horror as the evil apparition Tsukasa ripped a hole through Mitsuba's chest. Kou had tried to stop him, but it was too late.
Tsukasa had ordered the now-monstrous Mitsuba to attack Kou, but before anything happened, a knife had been stuck through. Hanako appeared behind Mitsuba, killing him almost instantly.
Kou held the pink-haired boy in his arms in shock and disbelief. At the time, he hadn't spoken, but now he opened his mouth.
"Why didn't you save me?" Mitsuba asked.
"What?"
"You let Hanako kill me."
"No, that's not— I couldn't—"
"Couldn't you?"
Kou didn't understand it. There was no way he could have stopped Hanako. He had been trapped by Mitsuba himself.
But doubt started to creep in. What if he had acted sooner? What if he had managed to stop Tsukasa before he had created that gaping hole through his chest?
"Don't cry, Minamoto!"
Kou startled, the shrill voice coming from behind him being one that he knew well. He was hyperventilating, and he could feel the tears streaming from his eyes.
"You said it yourself, you couldn't have stopped me if you tried!" Tsukasa chimed happily.
And Kou believed him. What did he, an average boy who just so happens to be from a family of exorcists, have against an apparition like him?
But the dream was fading. Mitsuba was no longer in his arms.
"Kou!"
He gasped, sitting up quickly in his bed, his eyes adjusting to the darkness around him. He caught sight of Teru beside him, holding his arm in comfort.
"Are you okay?" his older brother asked softly.
Kou breathed in, trying to regain his bearings. He sniffled, wiping away the wetness around his eyes.
"I'm good," he replied, his voice cracking. "Just a nightmare."
"Are you sure?" Teru questioned, his brows furrowing in concern. "Was it about Mitsuba?"
"Maybe."
"You said his name, Kou."
Kou sighed, closing his eyes. "It was…" He didn't know what to say, so he chose to lie instead. "It was nothing. I'll be fine."
Sensing that he wasn't going to elaborate any further, Teru nodded, but not before lingering for a minute longer.
Kou regretted his decision as soon as Teru stepped out of the room.
"And I want it all the time // While I'm yours and you are mine // Going steady 'til we lie, high at sunrise // All I wanted was to see // Everything you see in me // Everything I wanna be, high at sunrise"
⋆*⊹･꒰𑁬♡໒꒱･⊹*⋆
The fourth dream happened only a few days later.
After trying to get comfortable for several minutes, Kou eventually fell asleep. His exhaustion was overwhelming, and his friends at school were starting to notice. They were worried about him, but Kou kept telling them that he was fine.
He was afraid of another possible nightmare, but this one turned out to be much like the first two dreams.
It was just him and Mitsuba, standing side by side, only a few feet separating them.
The silence between them was deafening. It lasted for a few beats before Kou couldn't take it anymore.
"I'm sorry."
Mitsuba glanced at him. "Why?"
Kou kept his gaze forward. "I couldn't save you."
"You didn't have to."
That made Kou turn to Mitsuba. They were looking at each other now.
"You hanging out with me was all I could ever ask for. You didn't need to save me because I had already fulfilled my wishes. You helped me, and that was enough." Mitsuba smiled warmly. "Even that lame-ass earring helped."
Kou couldn't help but stare at the boy in front of him. He outstretched his arm toward him, and it seemed that Mitsuba had the same idea, practically mirroring him.
"Mitsuba." Kou said his name just as Mitsuba said, "Minamoto."
However, before their fingers could touch, Mitsuba was gone. All that was left was a flurry of triangles.
Apparently, his dreams wanted him to have closure, but they had an odd way of showing it.
Mitsuba had disappeared.
Again.
"Stay, stay or just leave // Stay or just leave me be // Stay or just leave me be // Stay // Like the summer breeze // Don't go // Don't go"
⋆*⊹･꒰𑁬♡໒꒱･⊹*⋆
Class was over, and Kou volunteered to clean the room after a lab had gone wrong. He had only been working for half an hour when he felt a wave of exhaustion pour over him. He sat down on a desk, trying to bring back some semblance of energy.
He laid his head on the desk, telling himself that he was only going to sit for a few minutes while he rested his eyes. Of course, anytime anyone said that, they managed to fall asleep.
The dream began similarly to the last one, with just him and Mitsuba.
"Don't leave me," Kou pleaded, reaching out immediately and placing a hand on his shoulder. It hadn't clicked in his mind that he was actually touching him until Mitsuba's eyes met his.
"Wake up," Mitsuba told him.
Kou shook his head, keeping his hand firm on his shoulder. "If I do, you'll be gone."
Mitsuba gave him a smile, similar to the one in the previous dream. "Will I?"
That made Kou very confused. "I don't understand, I—" he sputtered, but the dream faded quickly.
He was suddenly back in the classroom. He lifted his head wearily, looking around. He was expecting to see that familiar pink hair and the same-colored sweater, but he found nothing.
Instead, a hand grabbed his shoulder.
Kou jumped, his gaze swerving toward the person next to him.
There. Right beside him. Those peach eyes were as wide as his own.
"Mitsuba?"
"Kou," he answered. The use of his given name made him feel giddy.
Kou stood quickly, knocking the chair he was sitting in to the ground with a loud clang. He wrapped his arms around Mitsuba, letting out a sob into his shoulder.
"You're here," he exclaimed. He felt Mitsuba's arms encircle him in response.
"I'm here."