Chapter Text
Lucifer awoke slowly to the sound of steady beeping, and wondered where he was. As he took in the surroundings of the cold hospital room around him, so white, with the smell of disinfectant tainting the air, he realized that someone was beside him. His detective, sleeping in a chair pulled up alongside him, with her head resting on her folded arms on the bed. He studied her hair of burnished gold, and reflected on how beautiful she was.
He lifted a hand to touch her golden locks, wincing at the pain in his arm where the bloody doctors had stuck him with an IV. She stirred at his movement, lifting her head and looking at him with sleepy, aqua eyes. She had never looked more lovely to him than in that moment, with her eyes half-closed, her mouth soft from sleep, and her cheeks a delicate shade of pink.
She straightened and pushed her blonde hair back from her face. “Hey, you’re awake. How do you feel?”
“As if someone impaled me with a bloody stake,” he said as he winced from the dulled pain in his chest, then gazed at her. As his eyes traced her features, he felt his heartbeat quicken. “Have I told you how lovely you are?”
A soft smile lit her face and she chuckled. “That must be the drugs talking.”
“I beg your pardon! I am perfectly coherent.” He looked around him once again. “What happened to me? Why am I in hospital?”
Concern furrowed her brow. “You don’t remember? You were shot. You almost died....” A pained look crossed her face. “It’s my fault. You shouldn’t have taken that bullet for me --”
“Never your fault, love.” Lucifer gazed at her, his heart in his eyes. “I would do anything for --”
He broke off as the door to his room suddenly swung open. With dismay he saw a dark-haired man at the threshold.
“There you are, baby. I’ve been looking for you,” the newcomer said, spotting Lucifer’s partner.
The detective’s face suddenly broke out into a grin. “Oh, you came! I wasn’t sure you would --”
Striding into the room, the douche swept her into his arms, kissing her deeply. She clung to him as they moaned and tore at each other’s clothes --
________________________________________
“Bloody hell!” Lucifer yelled.
Sitting in front of a computer at one o’clock in the morning, the Devil was sorely tempted to smash the wretched machine. No longer feeling comfortable in using Dan’s computer at the precinct for his newfound writing hobby, Lucifer had easily broken into the local library to use their public access computer. This was his fourth try at writing a story after Chloe had left him earlier that night, and all that came out was this: his detective and the douche, making out like a pair of bloody rabbits! It infuriated him, making him scrub his face with his hands in frustration.
How could Chloe kiss Daniel, and then go out to dinner with him? He thought their relationship had ended. She had even said they were divorcing! So then why...? Why? It was enough to drive the Devil mad. And why did she think that Daniel was Lightbringer1? The douche had denied it a day ago -- Lucifer had been there behind the one-way mirror and had witnessed it. So why?
The questions pounded in the fallen angel’s brain over and over, giving him a sodding headache. Depression, like a dark tidal wave, flooded his insides and threatened to drown him. Unable to sit still, he got up, a tall figure clad in an elegant black suit and black silk shirt, and started pacing the darkened halls of the library. He needed to fix this, somehow -- get Chloe to realize that he was Lightbringer1, not the douche!
But... was that really wise? Lucifer paused in his steps, his face twisting into a grimace. Obviously Chloe still had feelings for her ex. He had seen her kiss the douche with... passion. They had gone out to dinner. And when it came right down to it, he, Lucifer, was a monster. The Devil. She might say she liked him -- despite calling him gross and a weirdo -- but she didn’t know him. Once she knew the real him, “gross” and “weirdo” would be the mildest things she could call him. No, she’d run away, screaming her bloody head off. There was no chance in Hell that she would ever love him. If there had been some chance, he would have taken it and fought for her, but her happiness meant more to him than his own. He would let her go.
Returning to the computer, he sighed and deleted the text he had written. Taking a seat, he stared hard at the monitor before clicking opening a new Google Document and beginning again. He decided to pick up right where his last story, “Lucifer’s Love,” had ended.
________________________________________
Lucifer stood in front of his detective, holding her hand in his as he looked into her beautiful, aqua eyes. The wind caressed her hair, sending a golden stray lock across her face. He found it incredibly attractive. With his free hand he tenderly tucked it behind her ear. Gathering his courage, he took a deep breath and forced himself to say the words that resounded in his heart.
“I... I love you. I know we work together, but....” He broke off as he shyly looked down at his hand enveloping hers.
“Lucifer....” she said gently. He looked up with hope in his eyes, only to find pity in hers. His mouth went dry and the soft smile faded from his face. “I like you, you know I do, but....”
She looked away before turning back to him, and in that split-second, Lucifer knew what she was going to say. His stomach dropped to his ankles and the urge to throw up threatened to overwhelm him. He wondered if he could run away before she could speak so that she wouldn’t confirm what he feared....
“I... I still love Vice,” she said. Vice was the nickname of the officer to whom Lucifer’s partner had once been married. “I didn’t realize it at the time, but now....”
Lucifer felt the blood rush from his face as humiliation flooded through him. He had pulled up every ounce of courage he had to proclaim his love for her, only to find that she didn’t love him. She pitied him -- pitied him! He wanted to crawl under a rock and die....
________________________________________
Two hours later, Lucifer had finished his story of... well, angst. After his character parted ways with his detective, he had sought out his brother. Having been dumped by the love of his life, shame and humiliation stabbed through Lucifer’s heart, causing wretched pain. The only thing he could think of to make it stop was actual, physical pain... and his brother could give that to him in spades. Although he wanted to howl with rage at the unfairness of it all, he realized that the detective obviously deserved so much more than him. Safety. Predictability. Stability. Vice could offer all of that, while he could offer her nothing but pain and suffering. After finding his brother, he picked a fight with him. His brother had come through as expected, promptly beating him to within an inch of his life. Lucifer the writer ended it there, feeling as broken as his character.
He shared the Google Docs file with his editor, YsgrifennuUffern, and was pleased to see her come online immediately. He waited patiently for her to read the tale, correcting typographical errors as she pointed them out, until she got to the end.
“Wow, that’s incredibly dark. The light that’s in your other stories is missing here, Lightbringer1,” she wrote in her chat.
“I have no light. It’s bloody well gone out.”
“Look... are you okay?”
“What makes you think I’m not?” he typed.
“Your writing is filled with... angst.”
“Well, I do write angst.”
“Yeah, but there’s writing angst, and then there’s... ‘I don’t even care anymore’ angst. Your writing shows the latter.”
Lucifer shook his head at YsgrifennuUffern’s insight. It was uncanny how well she knew him, just by his writings. “Well,” he typed, “You needn’t worry yourself. What do you think about the story?”
“Well, it’s fine the way it is, but you might get a few harsh reviews.”
Lucifer thought about that. He loved his readers and thrived on their comments -- he didn’t want to disappoint them. “How should I end it then?”
“Give them a little hope.”
Hope. Something he was in short supply of... but for his readers, his fans who brought him joy, he would try. “Very well.” Thinking hard, he added a few lines, ending the tale with the detective finding his broken and battered body in the alleyway.
“Much better. A cliffhanger -- your readers will love that!” YsgrifennuUffern wrote. “I must say, I’m impressed. You somehow made it even darker, and that can be an accomplishment in and of itself. It’s ready to go!”
So he posted his work under his Lightbringer1 pseudonym, but he did not gift it to Chloe. There was no reason to -- she had fallen back under the douche’s spell. Nothing he said or did would change that.
________________________________________
Chloe blinked the sleep from her eyes as she sat up in bed. The dinner the night before with Dan had been... odd. Strained. Her ex had tried his best to be charming and she had tried to be open to it... but it had just been uncomfortable. She noticed that Dan had been a bit cagey when she asked him about his writing, but perhaps he was just shy...? She didn’t know. At least Trixie had had a good time with her father.
Glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand, she was surprised to see that it was only 5:30 in the morning. She didn’t know why she had woken up so early, for it was much too soon to wake Trixie. With a sigh, she grabbed the tablet off of her nightstand and logged onto her email account.
She blinked in surprise. There was an email notification from Archive of Our Own, letting her know that Lightbringer1 had posted a new story. After reading Dan’s beautiful tales of love, she had subscribed to his Lightbringer1 AO3 account so that she could read anything new that he wrote. Was it bad to be more attracted to his writings than to the man himself? Chloe frowned unhappily.
Well, at least Lucifer hadn’t written anything. She had also subscribed to PrinceLuci666 -- although she told herself it was just to make sure her wayward partner wasn’t writing porn -- and hadn’t seen any email notifications. That was a relief! And if she just happened to peek at PrinceLuci666’s erotica from time to time, it was just to check to see if he’d taken them down yet... or at least, that’s what she told herself.
Clicking on the link in the email, she pulled up “Crushed by Love” -- oh my, that didn’t sound good -- and started to read. By the end of the story, she thought she was going to throw up. Poor Lucifer, so horribly bruised and battered, and in such pain -- not only from the beating his brother had given him, but from being rejected by the detective.... Knowing the real Lucifer, she could easily insert him into the story, for she had seen him emotionally hurt and acting out before -- and it horrified her. What the hell had Dan been thinking, writing a tale like this?
Fury such as she had never known burned within Chloe. She’d thrash Dan to an inch of his life for writing such a story!
Meanwhile Vice -- she easily recognized him as Dan -- got to live a happy life with the detective?! And what the hell? Why had he made her character so stupid?! A beautiful man like Lucifer stood right in front of her, and she wanted Vice instead?! Chloe huffed angrily. Well, at least her character had found Lucifer at the end of the story, and hopefully they would end up together....
But... something was odd. Dan said he wrote himself as Lucifer in the two previous stories... so why was he suddenly inserting himself in it now? It was definitely strange. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. She’d talk to her ex about it when she saw him at work....
________________________________________
Dan never knew what hit him.
One moment he was standing in the break room, talking to Officer Martinez, and the next moment he was on the ground with blinding pain radiating from his left eye. Chloe stood over him, looking furious and scary....
“What the hell, Chloe?!” he cried as he scrambled to his feet. He shot a glance at the other police officer who nodded and quietly slipped from the room. Holding his painful eye, he turned to his ex-wife. “What did you do that for?”
“What did -- what the hell, Dan! Why did you write such a story?!”
He blinked. “Huh?”
“Your story, ‘Crushed by Love’ -- why the hell did you write such a thing?”
“I don’t know what --”
“What were you thinking?!”
Dan blinked his one good eye at Chloe. She must have hit him harder than he suspected, because nothing was making any sense. “Chloe, slow down, okay? Tell me exactly what you’re upset about.”
“You know what I’m upset about! How could you do that to Lucifer?” she snapped.
He slowly put two and two together. Lightbringer1 must have written a new story with Lucifer, and apparently it wasn’t good. Maybe a hurt fic? Dan thought fast.
“Look, it’s just what came out --”
“Just what --” She threw up her arms in disgust. “I mean really, Dan, I know you don’t like him, but he’s my partner! He’s never done anything to you --”
“Are you kidding me? He punched me that one time, and he calls me a douche all the time! I think I have a right to --”
“But for god’s sake, Dan, to abuse him in a story --”
“It’s just a story, Chloe!” he finally yelled. “Stop taking it so seriously!”
The blonde woman’s eyes narrowed at that. “Look, Dan, you told me that those earlier stories you wrote mean that you still have deep feelings for me. Are you saying that I shouldn’t take them seriously?”
“What?! No! Listen, you’re taking this all wrong --”
“You need to fix this, Dan,” she snarled as she poked his chest with her index finger. “Leave Lucifer alone.”
He gaped at her. “Why are you defending him like this, Chloe?”
“Because he’s my partner!”
“Well it seems your feelings go beyond just partnership!” Dan snapped as jealousy speared through his insides, then paused as a thought occurred on him. “Do you... do you have feelings for that jerk?”
Chloe froze. “I... I --”
Dan felt shock reverberate through his body at his ex-wife’s sudden pallor. No, no -- Chloe couldn’t like Lucifer, could she? He had to nip that in the bud. Now. “Look, Chloe, he’s a five year old, incapable of mature, emotional depth.” Dan took a hold of her upper arms and stared deep into her eyes. “I wrote those stories with you in mind. You know I have strong feelings for you. I love you, Chloe. I want us to be together. Let’s just put this aside, okay?”
She didn’t seem to want to let it go. “But... but then why would you insert yourself in this new story, Dan? I thought you were writing as Lucifer, but in this new story, you’re not --”
“Look, you now know I wrote the stories. I don’t have to hide who I am, anymore. Now I can be me. Besides, I’m a writer. I can do whatever I want,” he bluffed, hoping that what he said made sense. It must have, for the tension suddenly left Chloe’s body and she gave a little laugh.
“Yes... of course. I should have known. I’m sorry, Dan.”
He breathed a sigh of relief. “No problem, Chloe. Just don’t punch me again, okay? I’ll never be able to live it down with the guys....”
She chuckled. “Sure, Dan. I better get back to work.”
As she turned away from him, Dan stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Hey... lunch today?”
For a moment she hesitated, uncertainty on her face, before she nodded. “Sure. Sounds good.”
Once Chloe left the room, Dan ran to his computer like a madman, logging onto AO3 and finding Lightbringer1’s latest story. He made quick work of reading it, then shook his head. No wonder Chloe had been mad. Why would the writer write such a thing?
Unless... the writer knew he and Chloe were getting back together? But who would know that? Hell, it couldn’t have been Lucifer -- that arrogant ass was way too selfish to notice anything that didn’t involve him in some way. It must have been someone else at the precinct. After all, Chloe could have told anyone that they were getting back together! Shrugging to himself, he went back to working on his reports.
________________________________________
Chloe returned to her desk to see Lucifer sitting in the chair opposite her, dressed impeccably in a tailored black vested suit and a snowy white silk shirt. His long legs were crossed casually in front of him as he leaned back in the chair. When he caught sight of her, his face briefly lit up with a smile before a mask of politeness slipped over his features.
It was that courteous, emotionless expression that made her wince. It seemed Lucifer was still upset about the “gross, he’s a weirdo” comment she had made. Well, she’d just have to win him over! He was too important to her -- but why he was so important was something she didn’t dare examine, especially with the whole Dan/Lightbringer1 situation going on.
“Hey,” she greeted as she sat down at her desk and pulled out the mountains of paperwork she needed to file. “I... I’m glad to see you.”
He merely nodded his head and said, “Do we have a new case?”
Chloe’s heart sank. He was all business. “N-no. Just stacks of paperwork. I could always use some help...?”
“Boring,” he said. “I’ll be going then --”
As he made to get up, she cried, “Wait!” Lucifer glanced at her, his eyes curious and a little puzzled. “Thank you for not writing any more... porn about me.”
One of his eyebrows rose, and a wicked grin touched his mouth. Chloe was relieved to see at least some emotion on his face, even if it was a naughty one. “And how do you know I haven’t written any erotica?” He leaned forward, his eyes twinkling. “My dear Detective, have you been looking at PrinceLuci666’s works?”
Her face burned, but she held her partner’s predatory gaze and lifted her chin defiantly. “What if I have?”
“Well! I must say I’m surprised,” he said as he stood up and rounded the desk to seat himself on it before her. “I didn’t think you were all that interested.”
His nearness caused desire to shoot through her body, making her hands tremble as she straightened some papers on her desk. She could feel his body heat pouring off of him like a furnace, and his thigh was so close.... If she just reached out, she could touch it --
No! No no, she had to focus. Focus! Think of Dan --
“I’m not,” she bluffed. “I’m protecting my reputation.”
Lucifer didn’t stop smiling. “Of course you are.” Leaning forward, he asked, “Which tale did you like best? The one where we had sex on a motorcycle while roaring down the freeway, or the one where we --”
“Lucifer!” she cried, appalled at him, and also at herself -- she was shocked at how easily he could arouse her with mere words! He let out a joyous, happy laugh, finally sounding and looking like himself, as his dark eyes glimmered with humor... and something else. Something that struck a chord deep within her....
Clearing her throat, she said in a voice that was pitched higher than her usual tone, “Lightbringer1 wrote a new story.”
“Oh?” he asked casually, although she got the feeling he was more interested than he seemed. “Right. What did you think of it?”
“I... can’t say I liked it.” Chloe looked up at her partner, who had suddenly gone still. “It was very dark. Lucifer -- not you, the character -- ended up getting his heart broken by the detective. I can’t say I liked that.”
“No? I would have thought you would enjoy seeing the detective run off, happily ever after, with her ex,” he said. She could hear the bitterness in his voice.
“You read it?” she asked with surprise.
“Mm,” Lucifer said with a nod, his face shuttered. “It’s not quite PrinceLuci666’s thing, is it? With such a lack of sex --”
Chloe shook her head. “Everything comes down to sex with you, doesn’t it?”
He shrugged.
“Haven’t you ever loved someone?” she asked. “I mean truly loved someone? It’s not all about sex, you know. It’s about... thinking of the other person. Of putting their needs above your own. Just... loving them. Do you understand?”
He was silent for a long moment before he said, “Far better than you know.”
Chloe blinked. Had Lucifer loved someone in the past? Oddly, she felt resentful of the nameless woman who had once had a hold of her partner’s heart. Desperately trying to still the awful jealousy welling up within her, she said, “Well, anyway, I think the detective should end up with Lucifer. He truly loves her. I can’t understand why Lightbringer1 had her run off with Vice....”
“Maybe... there are things about Lucifer that the detective would be afraid of, if she knew of them,” the tall man said as he looked away.
She scoffed at his words. “Nonsense. True love can overcome anything. Anyway, the detective found him in the end. Hopefully in the next installment, they can be together.”
Lucifer’s gaze shot back at her, his eyes fierce. “Really?”
Why was he being so intense about it? It was just a story, after all. One that closely followed their relationship, but still.... “Really.”
The tension seemed to ease from his body, and he smiled. “That’s lovely to hear, Detective. I must be going now.” He stood up quickly, catching her by surprise.
“What? Where are you going?”
He grinned as he walked away. “Don’t worry, my dear -- it’s nothing for you to be concerned about. I’ll be around!”
________________________________________
Lucifer practically ran to Ella’s office. He burst through the door and spotted her at her desk, filling out a report. Happiness flooded him when he saw the dark-haired woman -- his partner in crime in all of this AO3 business -- greet him with a big smile.
“Hey! There’s my writing buddy! How goes it, Lightbr--”
“Shhh! I still haven’t told her,” Lucifer said as he glanced around nervously. “She thinks Daniel is Lightbringer1.”
“Dan?!” Ella broke out into loud guffaws. “Dan?! Seriously? You’re kidding me, right?” At the tall man’s solemn expression, she grew sober. “Oh no.... Why haven’t you told her, Lucifer?”
“Right. And what would I say? ‘I’m Lightbringer1 and I want you to fall in love with me even though I saw you kissing the sodding douchecanoe’?” He shook his head. “I couldn’t do that.” But his expression grew tender as he remembered what Chloe had said. “But she said... she said that the detective in my story should end up with Lucifer!”
Ella broke out into a huge grin. “Awesome! See? See? I told you she’d totally fall in love with you! I knew you were meant to be together, I just knew it!”
He gave her a wry smile. “Only on AO3, apparently. In real life... she’s with Daniel.” The fallen angel grimaced, remembering what a monster he really was. “If she has feelings for the bloody sod, then... then she should be with him.”
“Oh for crying out loud, Lucifer! Aren’t you even going to fight for her?!” Ella nudged him with her elbow. “Dude, she’s your OTP!”
“O..TP?”
“One true pairing! I mean, come on -- you guys were made for each other!”
Lucifer brightened at Ella’s enthusiastic support. Surely there was a chance for happiness for him and the detective, if the lab tech thought that they should be together? Grabbing onto that hope with both hands, he said, “You’re right! We were made for each other! Well, at least I think we were....”
Ella cheered him on. “Well, come on then! Write her a story, Lucifer -- tell her who you really are!”
That stopped him dead in his tracks as the blood rushed out of his face. “Who... I really am?”
The bubbly lab tech nodded. “Yep! Tell her you’re Lightbringer1 and you love her! You can even use my computer! Here, sit!” She grabbed his arm and practically threw him into her chair. “Make me proud, Lightbringer1!” she said with a wink.
“You keep saying that,” he cried, confused. “Make you proud of what?”
“You know,” she said slyly with another wink and a nudge. “I need go down and talk to Randy in the morgue. Talk to you later. Remember -- make me proud!”
“Of what?!” he yelled after her, but she didn’t turn around. “Bloody hell!”
Lucifer stared at her retreating figure before looking once again at the computer. He hoped that logging onto AO3 from her station wouldn’t get her in trouble, but... well, Chloe pretty much thought that Dan or someone in the precinct was the suspect. They shouldn’t be looking at IP addresses anymore, should they?
He took a deep breath as exhilaration turned his insides into a mountain of quivering jelly. Could he really fight for Chloe? Were they really meant for each other? The thought of his beautiful partner actually looking at him with love in her eyes filled him with joy... and fear. Bloody hell, what did humans do when they fell in love? Well, besides sex. Actually, he had never loved anyone with whom he had sex. How did it feel to have sex with a loved one? Just the thought boggled his mind. It filled him with excitement and... well, terror, to be honest. What if he messed up? What if he couldn’t satisfy her?!
No, no, no, he couldn’t think like that. Thoughts such as those would render him completely useless for the next millennium. No. He had to remain calm and take things one step at a time. First things first -- get the detective in his story to fall in love with his Lucifer. He pulled up all of his courage and logged onto AO3.
Or tried.
All he got was, “Error 503 - the page was responding too slowly. Follow AO3_Status on Twitter for updates if this keeps happening.”
“What?!” he cried in a low, soft voice. He tried to log on again, and received the same error. “No. This is bloody well not happening. No.”
He clicked again... and again... and again. Over and over, every ten seconds. “Come on, you sodding website, come on!”
Panic started fluttering in his stomach, then proceeded to spread to every part of his body. How could this be happening? Why couldn’t he log on? Glancing around, Lucifer spotted another computer in a nearby room. Making a quick dash for it, he logged on after making sure no one was looking... and got the same error. Running around like a chicken with its head cut off, he tried computer after computer after computer, all with the same result -- Error 503.
“Bloody hell!” he spat. Of course the website would be down, just when he had a chance to make Chloe fall in love with him! His eyes shot skyward, and he glared angrily at the ceiling. “This is your doing, isn’t it, Dad? Bloody bastard, you just can’t bear to see me happy, can you? Sodding arse....”
He wasn’t sure how, but he somehow ended up back in the chair opposite Chloe, staring moodily at her while his insides tied itself in knots. He shifted nervously, unable to sit still. Was the website up yet? He had to check. Whipping out his phone, he tried to log on. Same result -- Error 503.
“Bloody hell!”
Chloe looked up from her computer at that, blinking at him. “Hey. You’re back!”
Her comment had Lucifer frowning. She hadn’t even noticed him? He had been sitting in front of her for at least five minutes! How could she not see the glorious splendor that was him? Bloody hell, he should have sat in front of her naked. Surely that would have gotten her attention...?
“Right. I am back,” he said, then checked AO3 again. Nope, still down. Heaving a big sigh, he massaged the back of his neck and checked again. Still down.
“What’s so important that it has you glued to your phone?” Chloe asked after a minute as he continued to check his phone every ten seconds.
Lucifer glanced up at her, pouting like a little boy. “AO3 is down.”
She blinked. “So?”
“So? So?! How can I possibly post anything if AO3 is down?” As soon as he said the words, he realized what a mistake he had made. Chloe didn’t know he was Lightbringer1, but she did know he was PrinceLuci666 -- the poster of porn. Fear started skittering up and down his spine as he watched her beautiful face grow dark with anger. Oh no. As if AO3 being down wasn’t bad enough....
“Are you trying to post porn?” she asked in a deceptively quiet voice. “Is that why you’re so anxious to get on AO3?”
“What? No --”
Lucifer could see that she clearly did not believe him. As she rose out of her chair, he held up his hand defensively. “Have -- have I told you how beautiful you look today, love?”
“What the hell kind of porn is it this time?” she asked. “Us making out on the captain’s desk with sex toys from evidence lock-up? Or having sex in a squad car, with handcuffs?”
His face lit up with excitement. “Detective! What delightful suggestions! What other dark desires are you harboring? You know I can make them come true --”
Letting out a strangled scream, she rounded the desk like a stalking lioness. He could practically see flames erupting all around her -- she was that angry. Arousal, like a live thing, stirred in him at the sight of Chloe in all of her glorious, righteous rage. Oh how he wanted to sweep her into his arms and make mad passionate love to her right there on her desk -- maybe even with everyone watching...?
His face must have betrayed his desire for her, for the next thing he knew, she had punched him across the jaw so hard that he was knocked from the chair in which he sat. “Bloody hell, Detective!”
She grabbed him by his silk shirt and hauled him to his feet. “Are you posting porn again?” she hissed in his face.
“No!”
She stared at him for a full minute before nodding once and saying, “Okay, then.” Relief swept through Lucifer as his partner released him to return to her seat. Lucifer knew he should just count his blessings and leave, but he just couldn’t stop himself from saying one more thing.
“Although... if you’d like me to post porn, I’d most happily oblige. I don’t suppose you’d like to research some positions with me...?”
Her glare told him all he needed to know. With a anxious smile, he suddenly said, “Oh, look at the time, I must dash. Ta, my dear!” and ran as if a pack of Hellhounds were nipping at his heels. He could have been mistaken, but he swore he heard her chuckling as he ran away.