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“What’s going on here?!” Samukia asked, turning away from the destruction of the western wing left by Chen’s runaway chair.
“Well, the bumbling stone man was minding his own business,” Cryptor began,”then Pythor showed up and started talking, which led to a conversation on several irrelevant topics. Eventually landing on the subject of romance and-”
“Basically, we’re trying to figure out who Kozu’s girlfriend is.” Morro said from the floor, clearly bored out of his mind.
“Actually it’s boyfriend, Kozu explicitly said he was male.” Cryptor smugly corrected.
“Whatever,” Morro grumbled, sitting up and looking over at Pythor scribbling on the wall like a mad man.
This wall held all the snake’s notes from the first part of the game. Things like ‘ill tempered’ and ‘likes astrology’’ were in a numbered list with the rest of the clues. The wall also held a sizable list of names, a few of which had been crossed off. Far away from the encroaching scrawl was also Kozu’s tally. The stone general in question had made himself comfortable on 'The Original Throne of The Golden Master’’, if what the placard said was to be believed that is.
“Besides, doesn't that count as a question?” Morro sighed, glancing in Kozu’s direction.
“Hm?” Kozu snapped back to attention, “No, he is not an active participant. However since you asked me for clairity~”
“No!” Pythor cried, only being able to watch as Kozu slashed through the last four marks with a clawed finger.
“Morro! You- you blabbering SSSIMPILTON!” The pale serpent roared, “We’ve only ten quesstionss left!”
“By the First, it's like dealing with a djinn.” Samukai muttered to himself
“And you!” Pythor said, rounding on him, “ Go over there and write down any queerss you know on that wall!”
“Almost everyone I know is from the underworld, but alright-” Samukai said, taking the pen from Pythor’s grip.
”Almosst?” Pythor asked.
“That’s nine!” Kozu loudly informed.
“Oh, would you jussst sshut up?!” Pythor shouted, only to realize what he’d just said.
“No.” Kozu said, a broad smile creeping up his face.”And that’s eight.”
Cryptor was outright cackling at this point, almost joining Morro on the floor as choked on a bit of static. Nothing could ever top seeing the overgrown earthworm’s ego get trampled on. Especially when he remembered all the times Kozu did the exact same thing to him.
“Well, aren’t YOU just a giggly bag of boltss today! If I was promissed a weapon of war and received this, I’d be e-mailing cussstomer sservice as we sspeak!” The serpent retorted, glaring at him over the skukin’s head.
“I guess that’s what your ‘mumsy’ said when she had you!” Cryptor shot back.
“Incorrigible foolsss, the lot of you!” He scowled, returning to his wall.
Samukai blinked, then decided he wasn’t going to make it his problem. He turned to the wall, finding it difficult to think of anyone that fit. Any discussion he’d heard about being in love is that it’s miserable. Kruncha and Nuckle were always together and arguing about pointless things, that seemed pretty similar…
He decided he needed more information, luckily he had someone who had a fresh experience.
“So, what knowledge does the ‘Master of The Axe’ seek from me?” Kozu asked, turning to the new player.
“It’s Fearsome Master of the Axe to you!” Samukai grumbled.
“Just ask your questions.” Kozu said with a dismissive wave.
Samukai huffed at that, sitting on that throne must have gone to his head. Still, he needed this information, if only to help Pythor take that bastard down a peg.
“All I want to know… is why?” he asked.
“Elaborate” Kozu commanded
“Like what's the point? It’s a lot of effort for not much benefit." he explained. “What does this person give you that no one else can?”
Kozu hummed in thought for a long moment, it was hard to narrow down all the reasons he loved his dana.
“He challenges me.” he finally says, ”It is by his spur that I sharpen my blades. It is his fire that sparks my ambition and his is the only steel I’d gladly be brought low by. Although his opinion is… rarely asked for, it is always appreciated.”
“That’s It?”
“Well, I also find him to be quite cute.” Kozu admits
“Sap!” Cryptor calls from across the room, having decided to sit next to Morro afterall.
Kozu gives a light chuckle and adds two marks to the tally and snickers as Pythor documents the new information on the wall. The players have a total of six questions left.
“Does anyone else wish to inquire something of me?” He asks loudly, looking around for his next challenger.
Morro seems to mull it over before he shrugs
“Ah, what the hell. Where did you first meet?” He says with a noncommittal tone.
“We met, officially, on the twentieth day of spring in the Departed Realm.” Kozu replies casually.
Pythor looks up with renewed interest and swiftly crosses several names on his list.
That… might have been a mistake.
Cryptor seems to subtly pick up on this and then not so subtly blurts out:
“What is your boyfriend’s best feature?”
Kozu is taken aback a little, but quickly seizes the opportunity to throw Pythor off their trail.
“I adore his hair very much,” he says, reminiscing about the first time he saw it, ” Finer than spider’s silk and fairer than all the lights of heaven combined.”
He spares a glance at Pythor’s confused expression before marking two more tallys. He also took a second to check the time. Only about an hour before sunrise and their subsequent departure. Despite doubts starting to swirl in his mind, he knew he had to stay strong, the game wasn’t over yet.
That’s when Chen came barreling through with his inferior throne with legs, seemingly having found the break lever.
“Oh, oh, I want to play!” He exclaims in the most irritating tone, no doubt thinking of a more irritating question.
“What was your biggest argument about?” he asks, leaning forward and intently studying his face.”And don’t spare the details!”
This would prove to be a challenge, on one hand he didn’t want to spill too much or Cryptor would kill him where he sat. On the other hand, he couldn't give too vague an answer or Chen would call it out. It took a moment before the answer became clear.
“Petty squabbles are a normal part of our relationship, but the first real fight we had was particularly foul.” Kozu started.
“yes…”
“It was a major breakdown in our communications, and the resulting argument was very bitter. Both of us were disheartened and wondering whether we should split, until something forced our hand…”
“Yes!”
“Until we had a long discussion about setting and communicating healthy boundaries. As well as creating ways to ensure that a fight of that magnitude would never occur a second time.” He concluded.
“Ugh, boring.” Chen slumped back in his chair deeply disappointed at the description of good conflict resolution skills.
As Kozu leaned over to mark off another tally, but was interrupted.
“Would you go back and change it if you could?” a voice that almost sounded like Morro’s asked. A quick glance revealed the boy wasn’t remotely paying attention.
Kozu froze for a tense, dangerous moment, silently praying Pythor didn’t notice the static nature of “Morro’s” voice. He loved Cryptor dearly but sometimes his impulsivity, especially in times like this, tested the limits of his patience.
They were definitely going to be talking about this later.
“As much as I would’ve liked to prevent it altogether, I fear that dispute was inevitable.” He confessed, “And though I wish I could’ve lessened its severity, what we learned about each other is vital for a long, successful campaign."
Fortunately Pythor was focused more on Chen's disappointment and the new information than who asked for it.
Another threat dealt with and another tally on the count…
“EURIKA!”
A hush fell over the group and Pythor slithered confidently forward.
“I believe I’ve solved your riddle!” Pythor crowed with a triumphant laugh.
“Really… are you sure your well of queries has run dry? You still have one left.”
“I don’t need your bloody questions, for I have already deduced the identity of your precious ‘dana’!” He sneered with venom and pride oozing from his words.
“So you have… very well, explain your reasoning” Kozu replied calmly, “Regale to us how you’ve bested me.”
“Well your first mistake was letting me have a pen-” he began.
And continued.
For over thirty minutes.
Cryptor was almost impressed, if not for the mounting dread that he’d actually figured it out. Yet Kozu held firm, nodding along and asking the snake to clarify certain points; he'd always worked beautifully under pressure.
With a final pause for dramatic effect, he spun an accusatory finger around to his culprit.
“It’s you! I knew it!” He crowed as he faced the Nindroid general.
There was no response,
“Come now, my old chum, there is no shame in admitting you’ve lost your own game.” He goaded, slithering over to his friend’s side.
Cryptor remained still as a statue.
Wait a minute… he was a statue!
The sun dawned with the realization of what happened. A quick glance around only confirmed it, the eclipse was over.
He was alone.
In this moment there were several emotions all tangling together in his mind. Anger at losing, awe at the clever trickery, which only doubled back to rage at not recognizing such an elementary tactic!
“Well played” he sneered at the statue of Kozu still lounging on the throne. Only he noticed that the general didn’t have his usual stoic demeanor. Instead a soft, terribly fond expression, that carried only a hint of smugness. Pythor followed the statue’s gaze to the one right next to him.
“Cryptor you USSSelesss homoSSEXual.” He hissed before skulking out into the early morning light.