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Auristela coughs up another string of rose petals in her handkerchief in the five minutes, coated in blood. Fuck. It's getting worse. She almost wishes to do something about it, but she can’t. Nothing only are her pride and ego too big, but she is genuinely afraid of rejection.
Niya is the life of the party, the centre of the room. She is sweet and energetic, easy to make friends with people and loved by everyone. Everything Auristela is not, everything she loves about her.
Auristela is, on the other hand, stern and rigid, so afraid of faliure. Raised by a strict single mother, she lacks the sweetness, the natural kindness. She can play at it all day long, but only three people ever got her genuine kindness: her twin brother Aurelio, their childhood friend Ocelo and Niya. Maybe a few other people here and there, but even that would be a stretch.
The only thing the two girls have in common is that they're both ready to go until the end of the earth for the people they love.
Auristela wipes at her mouth with the handkerchief and calls over the waiter to pay for the iced matcha. Aurelio will be visiting her soon. She needs to get a strain on herself. Her brother can't see what state she is in.
•○●○•
"Stela, hi!" Niya shouts and waves from across the street with a smile. The most beautiful smile Auristela has ever seen, arguably. Niya crosses. "How are you?"
"Hi, Niya! Relio is visiting, so always better," Stela replies.
"Say hi to him for me."
"I will. How are you doing?"
"Amazing as always."
A cough builds up Stela's throat and she pulls out her handkerchief to cough in it. It's an entire flower this time.
"Auristela," Niya says softly when she sees the flower in Auristela's hand. She puts a hand in the other girls shoulder gently and Stela blushes at the contact. Pathetic. "You should tell whoever it is."
"I'm fine. It's fine."
Auristela goes into another coughing fit and a small flower comes out of her mouth. It hurts, it hurts so much she almost admits her crush on the spot, but she can’t. There is no way someone like Niya likes someone like Auristela.
"Stela, I couldn’t—"
"I'm fine, Niya," Auristela snaps.
•○●○•
Relio looks happier. Ever since they cut contanct with their mum at eighteen, two years ago, and started living their lives as they wished they could, he always looked happier. Stela, if nobody else, knows he is still haunted by their upbringing, but he is dealing well. Better than Auristela, sometimes.
"Stela," he smiles.
"Relio." She runs the last few steps towards him and hugs him.
"It's so good to see you."
"We talk every day, dummy."
"It's still good to see you," Relio insists. "Though I probably won't enjoy you forcing me into hundreds of selfies for Instagram."
As they step away from the hug, Stela smiles. "I still won't stop." If she is going to die, she will at least make sure her brother has plenty of pictures of them together. The reason why she insisted they meet up today is because her Hanahaki disease is getting worse.
For a while, it's fine. For a while, they walk around the city, drink fizzy drinks, eat junk food, talk and tease each other. Auristela queries about Aurelio's boyfriend, Teo. She, of course, takes her chance to laugh when Relio blushes. He lightly punches her in the arm and blushes even harder. They recount old stories from school and roll in laughter on the grass.
Then, Stela starts coughing again. She coughs and coughs and coughs up a small white flower.
Relio gasps and seizes her wrist. "Who is it?"
Weakly, Stela whispers, "Niya."
"Of course. You basically had eyes for her for years."
"If I did, I'd be dead already."
"Stela, you have to tell her," Relio says worriedly, squeezing her wrist. "Promise me you'll tell her."
"I can't, you know I can't."
"You have to. Stela, you're my only family. I don't have anyone but you."
"I can't tell her, I don't know how, Relio. I'm so scared. I don’t want to leave you, but you’ll have Teo."
Relio sighs. "Please try?" he asks in a small voice, tears glistening in his eyes. "If you don’t tell her, I'll do it for you."
Stela truly doesn't want to leave him, but she doesn’t know what to do. Relio is truly the most meaningful person in her life. Maybe, she could be brave for him. She could do this one thing for him.
•○●○•
A day later, when the pain of coughing is becoming unbearable, Auristela calls Niya and asks her to meet her for a cup of coffee. She decides to be brave for Relio.
Stela still spends three hours at the café with Niya evading the topic. It's a beautiful three hours and she knows she could die at that moment happy.
Stela notices Niya is also coughing, but she dismisses it. She doesn't want to think about the possibility of Niya liking someone else if she'sgoingto tell her she likes her. She wishes she was as brave as her brother. But, she'll do it for him.
"I have to tell you something," Stela whispers after another coughing fit. "I'll tell you who is the reason behind this." She points to the flower in the handkerchief.
"Who?"
Stela can't say it. The anxiety is making her tears up, or is it the fear of dying? She can't speak. What if she's right, what if Niya doesn't like her back and she still dies after facing her fear? What will Aurelio do then?
"Stela, tell me. Maybe it'll be easier to tell them."
"It's... it's you."
Niya looks awestruck, coughing up another petal. "I— Stela, I like you, too. You should've told me earlier."
Five minutes later, when they finished coughing up the rest of the petals in their chests, Niya and Stela kiss. It's slow and gentle at first, but after so long of keeping their feelings to themselves, ot turns hungry quickly. It’s pulling at hair, grabbing at their necks, warm feelings in the lower parts of their stomachs.
As they're heading back to their dorms, Stela texts Relio, I did it. SHE LIKES ME BACK.
Back in the dorms, they resume their kissing on Niya's bed. Stela digs her fingers in the soft skin of Niya's hips, pushes herself against her, messes with her hair. Niya's hand is on her neck and on the small of her back, pulling her closer aggressively. A fire is burning in the lower part of Auristela's stomach, making her want Niya even more.
•○●○•
When they are laying together afterwards, Auristela's head on Niya's shoulder, her arm around the other girl's waist, Niya's arm around Stela's shoulders, Stela decides to be vaunerable. Sort of.
"You know what I love the most about you?" she asks. "You are so unashamedly yourself. You’re energetic and kind and caring and brave and good and yourself."
Niya smiles and blushes. "Thank you." She kisses Stela, gently and drawn out this time.
"I'm interested. What do you like about me the most?"
"You're caring, too, you know. Aurelio and Ocelo are there to prove it. And you'd obviously do anything for your brother. You're strong and brave, even if you don’t always think you are. You're a quick thinker and you're feisty. Easy to love."
Auristela huffs. "Yeah," she whispers absent-mindedly.
"Yeah, I'm telling the truth. Don't make me call Aurelio to confirm."
Stela relaxes into Niya. "Maybe I should get a therapist."
"You must, princess."
She blushes at the nickname. "Princess?"
"Yes, princess. You like it?" Niya teases, looking at Stela blushing.
"Yes."
They lay on the bed, talking about anything and everything, but nothing at the same time. It's the first time in a long time Stela feels safe around someone who isn't Relio or Ocelo. She's glad it's Niya who makes her feel that way, but maybe that’s her sappy part speaking.