Chapter Text
DJ sat down, his heart beating in his chest like a drum. He knew today would have to be the day he told Superfish everything. His feelings, his wishes, his every thought since the day they met. DJ wondered if this was really how he would go about it, but he knew deep down it was now or never.
Mandy had previously explained to DJ that his best chance of confessing anything would be to write a letter to Superfish that explained himself, expressed his feelings, and stated his intentions. DJ felt it was a bit cheesy; I mean, c’mon, writing love letters is practically for middle schoolers!
He groaned, burying his face in his hands. Was he really about to do this? He glanced over at his supplies, staring at them for a long moment as he contemplated his next move.
Really, he could just give it up right here, right now, and not have to deal with this. It would be easier, wouldn't it? He bounced his leg on the floor, sighing into his hands before removing them from his face.
He wasn't sure exactly how much he wanted to do this, but alas, he felt he wasn't able to keep it in. He wanted to tell Superfish how he felt, even if it was risky.
Much to his dismay, and to the disappointment of the continuous voice in his mind insisting that he wouldn’t— no, that he shouldn’t do this, he grabbed his notebook and pen and started to write:
“Dear Superfish,
I can’t believe I have to write this name. Mandy told me it would be a good idea to express myself through writing, so I resorted to doing so.
At first, I was frustrated with your presence, truth be told. It felt as if you were throwing bricks at my head, challenging my every thought. But as we've gotten to properly talk to each other and share our interests, I’ve come to realize that I care about you more than a friend. It’s funny, actually. Every single time I tell myself it isn’t possible, I grow more and more fascinated by your presence. I don’t know if my mind wants to play tricks on me, or if it's genuinely telling me to pull myself together.
I don’t want to build a wall of bricks between us anymore. I’m tired of building up space between us. It feels like most of the time we’re distanced, light years away from any possible communication other than our usual talks. But I can’t help but wonder if we were placed together for a purpose.
Every time I see the stars in the night sky, it reminds me of your eyes. Your eyes, sparkling and even glistening when they find mine. But even the stars wouldn’t compare to your beauty. I don’t know if you realize this, but your eyes are captivating. Sometimes, I can’t help getting lost in them.
Even the sun couldn’t battle your brightness. You’re a light in my world filled with darkness, and sometimes I find myself searching for your light when I’m just left with my thoughts at night, the darkness enveloping my vision.
Even as I find myself falling to slumber, your face is the first that I see in my dreams. Your eyes take over my mind, and my imagination takes over.
I know it sounds weird; I’m trying not to be, but words are flowing from my mind, and I don’t think I can stop them. It’s like my brain is a never-ending encyclopedia, and it’s actively picking words out of it to shove into my writing.
I’m not usually the type of person to do something like this. In fact, I’m shocked I even agreed to attempt this, but it seems the universe had good plans for me.
Every day I look forward to being in your presence. Sometimes I wish you could stay in my presence for eternity, but I remember what you said. 'It’s just for the core,' and I shut down any thought of that ever occurring in my mind.
It’s almost upsetting. I know nothing can happen, and I’m sitting here writing a letter to you that will probably just make you want to leave sooner. It’s foolish. But I know either way I need to calm my emotions that are building up in my chest.
It would have been easier, right? To not say anything about my exponentially growing feelings for you. It would’ve been easier to be quiet and stay as friends.
But, like the sun, my time has a limit. Eventually, I won’t be able to keep my emotions in. The sun only has a certain amount of time to exist, just like I do. And unfortunately, that’s really hard to say. I know I don’t have much time to live compared to you. I mean, you’re the strongest witch to ever live. You’re immortal. I’m just a human who only has a set amount of years before I go.
So really, what can I do about it?
I’m faced with an epiphany of my undying emotions. Would it have been better to bottle up my emotions, refusing to let them surface, or would I be safer admitting them?
I know you’re only here for the core. You’ve told me numerous times that once you got the core out, you’d wipe my memories and leave.
But I don’t want that.
I want to be able to keep my memories of our time together. I want to stay by your side as the sun sets. I want to be able to embrace you as darkness envelops the night sky. I want to hold your hand as we travel down our paths together.
I know I have no right to force you to stay.
But I wish you didn’t have to go.
I mean, really, what else can I do?
You’d tell me either, “You shouldn’t have been involved in the first place, but you decided to touch Fidget.”, or, “I’m the strongest witch; I don’t need a human telling me what to do.”
But I just wanted to say. Thank you, Superfish, for sharing your light in a time so full of darkness.
I could write a novel about how much your presence means to me.
I love you, Superfish.
Sincerely,
‘Dahananjay’ Arora”
He set his pen down, his eyes skimming over the words he had written. He gripped the page, the paper folding under his finger as he tore the letter from his notebook.
DJ carefully inched upwards from his chair, careful not to bump into the table. He turned cautiously toward the door, mentally preparing himself to give the letter to Superfish. DJ looked up to see Superfish directly in front of him.
“What the hell are you doing here?!” DJ screamed, walking backwards slowly, his back hitting the desk. He hid his hands behind his back, attempting to conceal the letter. A faint, embarrassed blush crept onto his face. How long had Superfish been standing there?
Superfish tilted his head, looking past DJ. “What’s that?” Superfish calmly asked. DJ cleared his throat, trying to fold the letter discreetly while also searching for words to answer him with.
“It’s— um, nothing! It's nothing. You don't need to worry about it,” He managed, his voice cracking as he stammered. He fidgeted with the paper behind his back, the texture of it slightly rough against his fingers.
Superfish looked at him with a puzzled expression on his face, wondering why he was acting so…off. “Are you sure?” He asked, his tone skeptical.
DJ blinked rapidly, attempting to not appear guilty. “Uh— yeah, I’m sure. It’s really— uh, not that important anyway!” DJ nervously grinned, gripping the paper even tighter in his hands.
Superfish narrowed his eyes, his golden irises studying DJ’s face. “Uh huh. Are you sure you're sure?” He asked again, a spark of curiosity appearing in his eyes.
DJ thought, ‘I’m honestly screwed either way; I might as well show it to him now before he gets upset.’ As he mentally prepared himself to give Superfish the letter, he jolted at the realization that it was no longer in his hand.
He looked up, seeing the witch unfolding the paper with his head tilted ever so slightly.
“Human…” Superfish started hesitantly, eyes scanning the paper, before noticeably blinking in confusion, “What does ‘I love you’ mean?”
DJ blinked several times before explaining, “Well, it means you really like someone, and you feel safe being around them, and you want to be with them… In a way that you want to wake up next to them every morning, feel their embrace, and get to know all of their interests.”
Superfish stared at him for a long moment, not knowing how to reply. “Is…Is that how you feel about me?” He asked hesitantly, his body slightly tense.
DJ sighed quietly before finally admitting, “Yeah, Superfish.” He looked down, a blush creeping onto his face. He could feel Superfish staring at him, and he heard the rustling of paper. Superfish reread the letter, his eyes flicking back and forth as he studied the words.
“I…” He started, his gaze still locked on the paper. “I don't know if I fully understand what you're trying to say,” He mumbled hesitantly, his gaze narrowing as he read the words over and over again.
DJ tilted his head, his eyes studying the witch’s expression. “What are you confused about?” He asked, curious as to what wasn't clear.
“Well,” Superfish took a deep breath before continuing with, “Every time I’m around you, I get this strange feeling in my chest. Like, a tightness of sorts. I don’t know what it is. I figured you would know, since you're more…well-versed in this topic, I suppose.” His eyes were honest when DJ met them with his own, confusion the only thing in those sparkling gold eyes.
DJ opened and closed his mouth numerous times, unsure of what to make of Superfish's words. He knew the witch was awaiting an answer — he didn't know what to say in response. He knew what he was feeling, yet he couldn't figure out how to tell him. DJ fidgeted with his hands nervously, attempting to calm his rapidly-racing heart. His eyes darted from Superfish’s hands, to his eyes, and then to his lips in a quick motion.
“It's…well… Superfish, it means you love me.” DJ bluntly mumbled, chewing on his bottom lip. Superish's eyes widened slightly, before he looked down at the floor.
“Oh..” Superfish quietly murmured in surprise. He slowly blinked several times, attempting to process the information provided to him. Then, it hit him like a truck.
‘It means you love me.’ Superfish thought over and over. He loved DJ?
Superfish opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. Hesitantly, he said, “What do people usually do if— uh, they love each other?” Superfish questioned, his face mixed with confusion, as well as an emotion that DJ couldn’t quite decipher.
“Well,” DJ started, clearing his throat. “They spend time together, support each other,” He paused, his eyes flicking away. “And, you know, other things you see in romance stuff.” He finished, a blush cemented on his face.
“Such as…?” Superfish questioned, his head slightly tilted in curiosity. He gently shifted the paper that was still in his hands with his fingers, golden irises glancing at the words every now and then.
DJ coughed, finding the topic slightly embarrassing to elaborate on. “Like…hugging, holding hands…” He fidgeted with his hands, feeling Superfish's eyes on him. “Kissing.” He added the last part as quietly as he could, but he knew that the witch had likely heard what he said.
“What’s kissing?” Superfish’s head shot up to stare at DJ. His eyes focused on DJ’s own. Superfish’s eyes flicked back and forth between the paper and DJ, unsure as to what this newly-said term was. He tried digging back into his memory to find anything matching the word, watching as DJ’s eyes adopted a hint of newfound determination.