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Ever since Hirano moved out of the dorms into an apartment close to his university, he started to notice that with the change of scenery and living space came a burden of change to his lifestyle. Everything deviated from what normalcy was left in his life.
For example, he was now in charge of his meals. This was no issue for Hirano, since he’s a pretty good cook when given the tools and ingredients. In fact, he only just went on a shopping spree, buying all these cool and fancy appliances with his newfound freedom, hoping to put them all around his small kitchen. However, a huge hurdle in his impulsive shopping and ingredient requirements was money, or the lack thereof. For that reason (among many others), Hirano had to pick up a job.
Now, when someone has to work a part-time job, it could very quickly consume large amounts of time at once, especially if there’s the very ominous and looming factor of university work. In the daytime, Hirano would be in classes or studying at home, so the most convenient job was to work at a bar.
To make it clear— Hirano was not working there illegally. In fact, he would’ve quit immediately if he had to start pouring various drinks for forty-something year old office workers who were probably intending on leaving the bar near-blackout drunk. Instead, he’s been cleaning dishes and staying a respectable distance away from the actual bar part of the establishment.
The biggest problem with this job was the fact that the majority of his shifts landed on Fridays and weekends. Sure, he liked the flexibility to save his studying for the week and give himself a break from school afterwards, but it cut right into what would usually be the highlight of his week— spending time with his boyfriend, Kagiura Akira.
One of the biggest changes he’d come to terms with was the immense loneliness he now feels in his new apartment. Rather than waking up to the entire sun condensed into one very sleepy boy across the room (or in his bed, with an arm draped across his chest— the thought still makes his face flush), he was instead met with a plain white wall reflecting harsh rays from an inconveniently placed window, waking him up with the cruel reminder that his mornings will never feel the same ever again.
Due to Kagiura’s sudden influx of studying with it being his final year of high school, and Hirano’s awkward work schedule, they’d barely seen each other’s faces outside of occasional video calls. In all honesty, it was driving him insane. Sure, seeing the boy’s face on a call helps, but it was moments like these where he truly pondered whether he was addicted to him.
He missed a number of things— lazy Sunday mornings at the dorms, sitting in the cafeteria and picking the green peppers off his plate, huddling beside each other on the floor with a blanket draped over them both while watching some shitty movie on Hirano’s laptop, it made his heart ache when he thought about it. Maybe this was an addiction, or maybe Kagiura felt the same way. Who knew?
Well, Hirano was about to find out.
Today, he had no impromptu assignments, no peer-pressured party invitations, no work shift, and absolutely nothing going on the day after either. After all, it’s Saturday, leaving him free to do whatever he pleased for as far into the night as he desired. This only meant one thing— inviting Kagiura over for the night. If he wasn’t getting many chances to see him now, who knew when he’d get the chance to again after this?
Kagiura, who was shy about the idea, showed up at Hirano’s doorstep a couple minutes before 6PM holding an overnight bag and wearing a nervous smile. Clearly, he was excited, but the anxiety seemed to show through better than usual.
“It’ll be just like how it was at the dorms!” Hirano had told him, and Kagiura agreed profusely and said yes to the idea immediately, but the way he fidgeted in his awkward stance at the door told Hirano enough.
Now, it was 7:30PM. The two took turns quickly washing up and changing after a very appetizing dinner, and were now sitting on the couch with the taller boy laying down with his head on the other’s lap.
Kagiura forgot to bring a shirt to sleep in, so he was instead borrowing one of Hirano’s sweatshirts which was big enough to fit him— he made it a big deal to point out this fact, even showing him how the neckline was a little loose, even for him. Hirano was simply wearing a loose shirt and pants, his usual sleepwear.
Kagiura fidgeted with the cuff of the sweatshirt, pointedly avoiding the loving gaze from Hirano. He noticed this immediately, poking his cheek out of slight annoyance.
“Oi. Kagi-kun.” He grumbled, prodding at his face gently and unrelenting. “Quit looking away.”
Kagiura chuckled nervously, tapering off into an awkward silence without giving a single word.
Hirano frowned. Now, his loving stare was replaced with concern, albeit a little crumpled and resembling a more peeved expression if anything. “Hey, what’s up?” He poked again, this time being softer than before.
Slowly, slowly, Kagiura turned his head to look up at Hirano. He wore nothing but worry on his face.
“Um... Hirano-san...” He sat up and adjusted his position to sit cross-legged, hands folded in his lap as he looked at the other. “You know how we’re— Like— We kiss sometimes, right? On— On the lips ‘n all...”
Hirano nodded slowly. “...Yeah?” What was this guy getting at?
“And— Uh— It isn’t like, a huge deal for both of us now, because we’ve done it enough for it to not be awkward, right?”
Another slow nod. “Yeah, it isn’t anymore.” Hirano agreed. “What are you getting at, Kagi-kun?”
Kagiura cleared his throat and gently tugged on the hem of his shirt, anxiety almost wafting through the air from him. He mumbled something that was unintelligible— Hirano thought that he started speaking in a foreign language before realizing that maybe he needed to clarify.
“...What was that?”
Kagiura slowly inhaled, exhaled, and then with determined eyes and his gaze locked onto the other’s, he said, “...Hirano-san. I want to try kissing with tongue.”
Hirano blinked once. He blinked twice. He was about to answer, opening his mouth, but Kagiura’s stare turned into a frantic mess as his own eyes widened. “It’s— It’s fine if you don't want to—!!! I mean— It was just a random thought!! It’s not like—”
Hirano, intent on stopping this very one-sided ramble, anchored his hands onto the other's shoulders and very quickly interrupted. “Kagi-kun, just— Wait!!”
And he did exactly that, pausing his mindless rambling to finally notice the way the older boy’s brows were scrunched up and his eyes were slightly wide.
Hirano let one hand travel from his shoulder to his cheek, poking it again. “What have I said about these things? You’ve seriously gotta let me speak, man!” He lectured, giving Kagiura another few pokes between words despite his feeble protests. Clearly, he was still feeling a little guilty, eyes now looking away, and Hirano knew he needed to clear the air. He hated when Kagiura felt sad.
He leaned in slowly and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. “I’m not opposed to it.” He mumbled softly, going in for a second kiss before pulling away. He had a gentle smile on his face now, chuckling softly at the sight of Kagiura, wide eyed and embarrassed.
“For— For real? Like, actually?”
“... I mean, if you don’t wanna, then—”
Kagiura was quick to shake his head. “No! No— I want to! I want to, Hirano-san!!” He exclaimed, grabbing him by the shoulders with a huge smile on his face.
Hirano let out a yelp as he got pushed down onto the couch, elbows hitting the soft fabric as Kagiura loomed above him. Tension formed fairly quickly between the two, gazes locked onto each other. They both stared at each other for a couple of moments before realizing something very important.
How do you initiate these kinds of things?
“...I don’t—” They spoke in unison, stopping immediately to break off into awkward laughter.
“We’re both pretty clueless, aren’t we?” Hirano joked, his hand reaching up to ruffle Kagiura’s hair.
He pouted, cheeks puffed up while he leaned into the touch. “Well, unlike someone, I did a bit of studying, so I think I’ve got this!”
Hirano glowered, his previously gentle and loving touch turning into a lighthearted tug at Kagiura’s ear. “What happened to focusing on actual studies? Do I need to bring back our once a day rule?”
“Once a day— We don’t even see each other that often, Hirano-san...!!” He whined.
“Once a month, then.” Hirano grinned, smug and confident, now letting his hand rest along the side of the other’s face. “You do need to focus on school, Kagi-kun.”
Kagiura huffed, supporting all his weight on one arm in order to hold Hirano’s and gently push it down.
“...Can’t we talk about this later and just... Kiss?”
His demeanour had changed dramatically, his eyes half-lidded with affection. He looked at Hirano, waiting for any sign of an “okay”, and immediately dove down the moment the other nodded.
Kagiura closed the distance, slowly and gently lowering himself down and pressing his lips against Hirano’s. He lingered for a few seconds before pulling back, brows furrowed.
“Hirano-san, you have to open your mouth a little.” He demanded, astute but gentle.
“I’m not used to this, can you blame me?” Hirano huffed in response.
Kagiura opened his mouth to retort, but he was immediately pulled downwards by the neck of his shirt, lips hitting Hirano’s in some new sense of desperation.
Now, the kiss was a little different. For one thing, open-mouthed kissing was very confusing and a little bit much. There was teeth clashing, the very uncomfortable exchange of spit, a number of other things, but Hirano found that it was something he was able to get used to fairly quickly.
And then, he felt something weird in his mouth.
He quickly pushed Kagiura away and sputtered. “Holy— What the hell—” He coughed, sitting up and wiping his mouth. The flavour of strawberry lingered on his tongue as he coughed.
“I’m sorry Hirano-san..!! Was that too much?” He exclaimed, worried and anxious. He was also sitting up now, hands settled in his lap.
“No, I’m— Are you okay? Uh—” He watched Kagiura frown, all forlorn and distant, and decided that the best course of action was to take his face in his hands and start smooshing his cheeks like putty.
“Owowowowow—”
Hirano scowled, showing no signs of stopping as he spoke. “Stop making that face!! I haven’t even told you how it felt— Don’t go making stupid assumptions!” He blatted out before finally letting go. Kagiura rubbed his face, frowning. “That hurt, Hirano-sa—”
He was promptly interrupted by a hand now covering his mouth. Hirano gave him one last glare before letting his hand fall, confident that Kagiura wasn’t going to interrupt until after he got his point across.
“Now, as I was saying...” He cleared his throat. A sudden pink tinge flooded his face. “... It was weird. Like, way too weird.”
Kagiura slumped his shoulders at the statement. Hirano frowned as he let himself think for a moment. Sure, the experience was different, but should he really shoot it down so suddenly?
Maybe...
“Okay. Hold on— I have an idea.”
Kagiura’s interest was piqued. His pout turned into a look of curiosity, and his head perked up quickly. “Yeah?”
Hirano glanced around, and then faced Kagiura head-on, cheeks burning red.
“I want to try again—”
Kagiura’s eyes lit up. He was now beaming like an idiot.
“— But, I want to be the one to initiate it.”
All of sudden, Kagiura’s happiness was promptly replaced with red-faced shock. His jaw went slack and his eyes widened.
Hirano stood up and tugged on the other’s sleeve, pulling him up with him. “Not here, though. I don’t think the couch has enough space for you to lay down.” He remarked. The way he was so serious and confident made things seem like they were in good hands, but Hirano was honest-to-god nervous as hell.
The two made their way to the bedroom fairly fast, anxiety in their steps. Staring at the bed, Hirano felt daunted. He felt like this could lead to more things, many of which he was not ready for. He turned to Kagiura, and with the most serious face he could put on, he said, “To make it clear— we are not going beyond making out. Okay?” He tried to keep a serious expression, but blush was peeking through on his skin.
Kagiura paused to process, his face suddenly turning bright red at the thought. “—!! Of— Of course not!! I— I wasn’t even expecting to!!” He wailed, covering his face quickly.
The sight made Hirano burst into laughter, though his own face was getting redder out of embarrassment. He went ahead and sat on the bed, patting the spot next to him for Kagiura to join him.
As the taller boy sat next to him and they awkwardly stared at each other, Hirano ruminated in his thoughts and logic. He was fairly independent from a young age and thus had this innate urge to always have some sort of control in most situations. Maybe if he initiated all of... this... he’d be significantly more comfortable with it.
“Soooo...” Kagiura mused, looking around before meeting gazes with Hirano once again.
The older boy slowly inched his hand towards the other’s, entangling their fingers. “Is this okay...?” Hirano asked, his voice soft and wavering. He was nervous, almost mirroring the anxiety that the other was showing but in a significantly less obvious way.
Kagiura nodded slowly, giving his hand a soft squeeze. Hirano took this as a cue to move forward, leaning in and pressing his lips against the other’s.
This time, things went slower. It started with just pressing their lips against each other— nothing out of the ordinary. Then, Hirano brought his hand up to gently cup Kagiura’s cheek, attempting to deepen the kiss by opening his mouth slightly. They were inching slowly into uncharted waters, but Hirano was deadset on taking his sweet time.
Slowly, carefully, Hirano pressed his tongue into Kagiura’s mouth. His first thought was filled with unpleasantries. It was slimy, and he really didn’t know what to do with his tongue except just stick it out and try his best to imitate how they do it in those sappy romances he’d been forced to watch. His second thought, which surfaced after he got past the whole awkwardness of this situation, was that this wasn’t really that bad. Somehow, after getting past the odd feeling, it felt pretty good. In fact, it was almost addictive. His most prevalent observation? Kagiura tasted like strawberries— though, it felt heavily artificial and extremely sweet.
Hirano could feel Kagiura squeeze his hand gently with his other hand resting on his hip as he leaned further, pushing him back softly as he continued to kiss him. Kagiura’s back hit the mattress as Hirano gingerly laid on top of him, hand moving into his hair to gently card through the soft strands.
He drew his head back with heavy breaths, eyes half-lidded and face flushed.
“Was— Was that too much...?” Kagiura asked between pants, head falling and hitting the pillow. Hirano laughed, ruffling his hair. “I’m supposed to ask you that, dummy.” He chided with lighthearted annoyance in his tone, the soft smile on his face saying otherwise. “But it was fine, I liked it. And you tasted like strawberries.”
Kagiura’s face burned as he started sputtering. “Don’t— Don’t just say that, Hirano-san...!!!!”
“What? It was true! Suspiciously so... Why do you taste like strawberries?” Hirano questioned, eyes narrowing. Kagiura shifted under his gaze, nervous and guilty.
“Oh—! I— Uh...” He let go of his hip to sheepishly scratch his head, looking away. “... I had a bit of gum before this, that’s all...— Owowow—!!”
Hirano started pinching his cheek almost immediately, the originally pink tinge on his face turning darker and darker. “— You brat! You knew your plan would work, didn’t you?” He exclaimed, though he broke off into small snickers after the initial shock and embarrassment.
Kagiura couldn’t help but giggle, a dumb grin on his face. He moved his hand up to clasp the one along the side of his face. “Yeah. Yeah, I did,” He stated proudly, “and I kind of have something else planned...”
“You better not have forgotten what I said earlier, Kagi-kun.”
Kagiura’s face burned more. “Of— Of course I didn’t, Hirano-san...!! I didn’t mean... that!!! I meant something else!!”
Hirano pushed himself off of him to sit up properly, one hand still holding the other’s while he let the hand on his cheek fall. “Mhm? What is it, then?”
Kagiura sat up, nervously, and tried his very hardest to look Hirano in the eyes.
“I... Uh...” He gulped. This was a lot harder to say than he thought it would be.
Hirano squeezed his hand. “C’mon, you can say it. I just had my tongue nearly down your throat, nothing can be more embarrassing than that.”
“Hrk— Hirano-san!! Don’t say it like thaaat!” He whined, covering his face in his elbow. “That’s so unromantic!!”
He started snickering. “Pfft— Yeah, yeah. But it gets the point across. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about”
“Yeah, but there is!” Kagiura frowned, cheeks puffing up as he pouted. “You’d be embarrassed if you asked the most important guy in the world if you could leave a hickey on him, right?”
Judging from the way he stated such a thing, so confident and nervous at the same time, he had a feeling that Kagiura didn’t even realize what he said. Hirano’s face slowly contorted into shock, eyes going wide and jaw dropping.
“You want to what?”
“I want to—” Kagiura paused, reading Hirano’s expression before mirroring it with his own loud embarrassment. He let go of his hand to cover his face. “... I didn’t mean to say that out loud...” He murmured, voice rising by an octave.
Hirano was silent for a few seconds, which Kagiura took as dejection.
“How— How about we just go to sleep! I’m getting sleepy anyways!” He burst out, shuffling towards the end of the bed and avoiding Hirano’s judgement. “Good makeout session, five stars! Good night, farewell, I’ll go brush my teeth and sleep on the couch—”
“One.”
Kagiura turned his head fast enough to give him whiplash. “Wh—”
Hirano reached for his hand. “If— If you really want to. You can leave one. Don’t make me change my mind.” He gritted out, almost desperately.
Kagiura seemed overjoyed, jumping back onto the bed and immediately moving towards him to begin kissing him, gently urging Hirano backwards.
Now, their positions were switched, with Hirano’s back pressed into the mattress while Kagiura peppered kisses all over his face. He was trying to hold back giggles, small puffs of breath ghosting Hirano’s skin.
“Tch— Quit laughing.” He choked out, turning his face to the side to hide the flushed expression he had. He was sure that it was an embarrassing sight.
Kagiura gently kissed along his cheek, tracing his jawline with small pecks and smiling against his skin. “I can’t help it, Hirano-san... You look so c—”
Hirano shoved his hands against Kagiura’s face, glaring. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” He glowered.
“But it’s true! You’re adorable when you blush like that! In fact, you might be the cutest guy in the world!” Kagiura reasoned, gently taking Hirano’s hands in his and pushing them above his head and into the pillow. “Is this okay?”
He nodded slowly, keeping his head turned to the side.
“Yeah— Yeah. Quit asking.” He choked out. This was doing absolutely nothing to stop Hirano from feeling like his heart was twisting in on itself, his head slightly fuzzy and his breathing heavy. He wasn’t typically a romantic, his general rule of thumb being that when it comes to Kagiura, he does things that both are within his own boundaries and capable of making the other happy. After all, Kagiura’s happiness was one of the most important aspects of his life now, joined by his education and his independence.
But, right now, he felt like he was relinquishing his independence— this was arguably the most vulnerable Hirano had been in a while, and he’s had his fair share of vulnerability, all with Kagiura.
And honestly?
He loved it.
It felt amazing, because he trusted Kagiura with his entire heart, and he felt safe enough to be so open like this.
“I’m just making sure you’re okay.” Kagiura muttered as he began kissing his jaw again, tracing it once more before slowly trailing down his neck.
Hirano’s breath hitched audibly in his throat, and he could feel how hot his skin was against Kagiura’s lips. It felt almost sickening, making him dizzy with some newfound sense of desire and anticipation.
Kagiura kissed along his neck, light and gentle with his breath tickling the sensitive skin. He paused to look up at Hirano, and he swore he could hear the stupid grin on his face as he spoke. “Can I leave one on your neck?”
Hirano shook his head fervently. “God no, leave it somewhere else.” His voice was a little shaky, even if he tried to sound as collected as possible. “Someplace where nobody can see it.”
Kagiura nodded in response. “As you wish, Hirano-sama!” He laughed, going back to his barrage of affection. Hirano scoffed, his own embarrassment giving way to a few gentle chuckles.
In between small kisses that trailed lower, inching towards his collarbone, he asked, “Can I leave one here?” He let go of Hirano’s hands to poke his collarbone, soft enough for it to tickle. He then moved his hand to the area of his shoulder, poking softly near the spot where the clavicle met the humerus. “Or should I leave one here?”
Hirano winced softly at the ticklish feeling. “Shoulder.” He demanded, using his now freed arms to wrap one around Kagiura with the other covering his face.
The taller only hummed in response, trailing small kisses towards his shoulder with a smile. It puzzled Hirano, how he could remain so calm in a situation like this, as if he’d done this a million times before. However, he knew this was a first experience they were both sharing, and it felt like a satisfying conclusion. The knowledge that they’ve experienced so many firsts together was priceless, and Hirano wouldn’t have it any other way.
He was quickly shoved violently out of his thoughts as he winced, feeling a tingling sensation on his shoulder.
“Hngh—” He bit back whatever sound he was about to make, head turning away from Kagiura. He wasn’t aware that he was so sensitive in so many places. His back, his neck, his shoulders, what’s next? His—
... He boxed that train of thought away behind a lock and key. He was not ready to know the end of that sentence, not in a million years.
The sensation stopped, only to be replaced with small kisses around the area.
“Hirano-san.” Kagiura moved his face away from his shoulder, now looking Hirano straight in the eyes. “Are you okay?”
He nodded gingerly. His body felt like jelly— perhaps this was a lot for one night. “Y— Yeah. I’m just... Tired. And overwhelmed. Maybe.”
Kagiura nodded back in response, smiling softly. “Let’s get ready for bed then.” He replied, sitting up as if absolutely nothing had happened. Though, his appearance said otherwise, with his messy hair, flushed cheeks, and kiss-swollen lips. Hirano sat up in succession, his appearance nearly mirroring Kagiura’s with the addition of his loose shirt sagging by the neckline towards his right shoulder, showing a small bruise which was an angry red.
“Pfft— You look silly, Kagi-kun.” Hirano snickered. Kagiura returned the statement with a pout. “Hey! So do you! Your hair is everywhere!”
“Says you.” He spat back, shuffling off the bed and heading towards the washroom, with Kagiura following like a lost puppy.
The rest of the night was rather tame. In fact, it felt borderline domestic with the way the two brushed their teeth together, made the bed, and laid down together. Before falling asleep, Kagiura shuffled close to Hirano from behind and gently nuzzled against his shoulder, smiling as the older boy huffed.
“What are you doing now...?”
Kagiura wrapped his arms around his torso and sighed wistfully. “Nothing... Just appreciating my super duper adorable and awesome boyfriend.” He hummed.
Hirano chuckled softly as he felt him press a kiss to his shoulder on top of the fabric of his shirt. “That’s a mouthful for sure. Now go to bed.” He scolded, not unkindly. Kagiura replied with a sleepy giggle muffled into his shoulder.
“I think I’m addicted to you, Hirano-san.” He mumbled, words slurring only to be followed by a subtle snore.
Hirano, who was fairly close to drifting off himself, murmured against the pillow before letting his own eyes close as well.
“... Me too.”