Work Text:
Fiona pov:
It wasn’t every day that I got to say “I’m going on a date”. Actually that had never happened to me before because I always get rejected somehow. At that point, I was starting to think I was unlovable.
I’ve never really had anyone to hold my hand or catch me when I fall. I mean, I had liked Alec and Gwen and stuff, but y'know that's not, romantic I guess. (plus, Alec seems like a big ass red flag so i wouldn’t wanna date hom to much anyway, and Gwen cannot so BULLSHIT so that was off th table.)
So when Sven actually said “yes” yesterday, it was like the curse had been lifted. I only really asked him out because Simon said yes to Patrick, and uh that gave me hope I could find someone too.
We decided to go out to a coffee shop. I needed one of those basic places of my booktok girlie dreams, so I decided to go to the nice one Penny worked at.
“Naomi does this fit look fire on me”
“I think you'd look better on me,” my roommate cried, “but yea, i think it looks perfect!” Naomi said, like I wasn't going on a date an hour later.
“Okay thanks! Welp I gotta go now with the huzz!”
“The huzz? How did you pull before me?”
“Hahaha luck, bysees!”
“Bye, don’t miss me too much!”
I went down to the common lobby, where we should be meeting up. But it was pretty much empty beside some tall blonde guy crying over covalent bonds.
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Sven pov:
Y'know, last night i got the best sleep of my life. I woke up, rubbing the crust out of my eyes ready to start the day! With this energy, I could do anything!
My roommate wasn’t here, and it was the weekend, so I guess I got the room to myself. I looked at my calendar for anything important that might be there.
“HOLY SHIT” I audibly said out loud, “that was THIS SATURDAY”
Okay so uhh recap. Basically some girl named fiona asked me out out the other day, and i was bored, so i was like “haha fuck it bet!”
Quickly, I put on my lightning McQueen shoes and went down to the commons.
“IM HERE” I said, huffing and puffing like I was the big bad wolf about to blow a house down.
“Oh uh hi,” Fiona said, looking at me weirdly, “why are you still in your pajamas?”
I looked down, FUCK. I WAS IN PEPPA PIG PANTS AND A BLUEY POLO SHIRT, IN PUBLIC.
“…no? This is a state of the art designer clothings,” I said, gaslighting my way out of this.
Mentally I felt kinda bad. She looked nice in a way I could tell she actually tried with her appearance today; also she’s been waiting for me for probably like, half an hour now.
“Yeah I sorta umm… my alarm clock didn’t work.” My nonexistent alarm clock.
“Oh well i can just wait longer if you have to y'know," she looked me up and down, “maybe like get ready?”
“Yeah you’re right um… be right back?”
I ran away to change. Holy shit I just put dirt on my family name. I need to make this date peak.
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Fiona pov
So um, im waiting, alone with only the sound of the tall blonde guy four feet away sobbing and Tanya screaming four doors down. Part of me WANTS to be surprised, but i really am not to be honest.
Then, he came back down again looking a little less like a hobo, and a little more like the fine shit from my favorite romance novel.
“Are you ready to go?” He said with that smirk I know all too well.
“Yeah! How are we getting there?” I asked.
“I’ll just call the lambo over real quick”
“The what,” I said dumbfounded.
“Yknow, the big ass car with infinite seating” He said, mansplaining it to me.
“I know what it is, I mean, what do you mean you’re calling one of those over.”
“Or, I can drive you there in my tesla, if you would prefer it was just the two of us in the car.”
“So you’re implying there’s other people in the Lamborghini?”
“I mean, I don't really know if Simon and or Scarlet might be in it too, I'm just taking a gander y'know?"
“… we could just walk maybe?”
“Oh you’d rather…walk?” He said, slightly judgmentally.
“Yeah it’s… 10 minutes away?”
“Um, damn okay,” he said sorta surprised, “Girls just y’know usually like nice cars so i was uhh, making up for being in my pj’s earlier.”
“Oh it’s okay!” I mean, it really wasn’t, cause no way you have this much money and can’t get an alarm clock, but y'know we manage.
“Alright cool, I guess we’ll walk.”
“Haha yea i guess”
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Sven pov
This walk is reminding me how much rizz i DON’T have. It's easier to distract people in cars when the music is absolutely blasting in your face, so you can;t even hear what the other person is really saying.
“So uuh, have you been to this shop before” I asked.
“Um yea! My friend Penny works here, so i figured it would be a good place.”
Tim Hortons sounds a lot like poor people's coffee shops. But apparently not everyone is rich so I can’t say that to her.
“Oh yea Tanya’s sister I know her! Hahaha” I said, tryna be cocky and nonchalant at the same time.
“Yeah… so anyways, ummm, have any pets?”
“Uh yea Simon, he’s kinda like a cat y’know, it's funny he’s allergic to them. What about you?”
“Um, he’s not my pet, but Patrick has a pet snake i hang out with sometimes”
“You and Patrick are really close huh?” I asked. I read somewhere that girls like talking about themselves, so I figured asking questions would work.
“Yeah, I guess. He’s like my friend since forever, I practically lived with him! What about you, are you close with your siblings?”
“I mean ummm last week Scarlet beat me up for stealing her face cream or something but it’s not my fault she always gets the best stuff.”
“Are you always like this?”
“Like what?”
“Y’know like, putting on this mask of being just some rich cocky guy, is that all there is to your personality?”
“I mean if I'm not that then I'm just some hot guy who’s retaking grade 9 math.”
“Well I wanna talk to that side of you, not whatever performance you’re always putting on y'know?"
“Um okay uuuh… I’m gonna be honest, I don't know trigonometry.”
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Fiona pov
Y'know everything i just told to sven and will continue to say to him until i forget what comes next, is a conversation I overheard Bea telling Gwen but I changed a few words so it sounds genuine.
“… so uuh how come you’re failing math.”
“No reason in particular, I've just always struggled with it. I'm to lazy to commit to math when im more passionate about other things”
“Like what?” I’m curious actually, what else does he do besides posting silly memes.
“Yknow like hanging out with the boys and stuff.” Wow, why did i think he was gonna say something heartfelt and genuine.
“Oh interesting… anything else?”
“Ehh not really, i used to watch house md, i was in to that for a bit, but i wouldn’t say im passionate about it”
“Oh I watch that show! Have you seen Heated Rivalry?”
“I have, but I only put it one when I'm with Simon in hopes he’ll, idk magically come out of the closet or something.”
“You probably shouldn’t force him out of the closet if he’s not ready.” Why am I the mature one here? I'm literally younger than him.
“Listen Im not forcing him out of the closet, im just saying if you’re lowkey going out with a guy as another guy that's kinda gay-”
“Oh look we’re here!” I said, pointing at the red building in front of us.
We walked into the store, it was just as Pinterest core as I rememberI remember it. Penny was there at the counter talking to that tall blonde guy from earlier.
“Oh look, no lines!” I said. “I mean there is like that ONE guy, but their conversation can’t take that long right?”
We stood right behind him, and he was actually talking to Penny, not ordering.
“Damn penny i didn’t know you had a boyfriend!” I said, waving to her.
“What?” She said, “no this is just Denver, he’s a friend!”
“OHH omg im so sorry it just seemed like you were eating from where i was standing”
“WHAT”
“PENNY IM SORRY YOU JUST LOOKED REALLY CUTE TOGETHER"
While I was talking to Penny, Sven was hassling the tall blonde guy.
“Wait are you that guy I threw peanut butter at.” Sven said to the tall blonde guy.
“Are you the annoying bitch who kept harassing my sister for like 6 years”
“No?”
“You sure?”
“Nah i think you’re mistaking me with Gwen gang-”
I finally stepped in, “okay guys um, can I have a coffee.”
“Sure! Would you like it iced or hot or decaf or red or orange or yellow or bl-”she just kept going, why the hell are there so many options holy yapper.
“Just normal black coffee.”
“Okay that would be your whole life savings please!”
“Um what”
“Yup pay up!”
I sighed, I’m too poor for this shit.
“Um how much exactly?”
“5 dollars, cause i know that's the most you have”
“Fuck you,” I said knowing damn well I only have 5 dollars. I spent everything on oversize hoodies to make it look like I have a man.
“Just give me the damn money im underpaid”
“Um that's kinda pricey for coffee penny”
“Ask your rich ass date broski he's RIGHT there harrassing my man- I mean Denver”
“That’s kinda rude, it's the first date.”
“Fiona, I've known this bitch for like over a decade, he's like RICH i promise you five dollars is not as much for him as it is for you”
“Okay fine,” I turned to Sven, “Hey Sven can you pay my5 dollars coffee I promise to pay you back when I get m paycheck”
“My credit card is frozen rn”
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Sven Pov
Yknow, i didn't think she was serious lowkey- cause fuck you mean you don't have five dollars, but then i realized, NEITHER DO I. MY CARD IS LOWKIRKUNELY FROZEN RIGHT NOW, IM LITERALLY LETTING MY BLOODLINE DOWN BY FUMBLING THIS HARD.
“You’re kidding right,” She said.
I stared at her with a look that’s like ‘does it look like I'm kidding’. I turned to Denver.
“Hey, do you have 5 dollars?”
“Not for you bitch” Denver replied, it was a valid response but damn.
“Please bro.”
“No? This is why i stopped liking men all yall do is ask ask ask”
“What.”
“Nothing.”
“...”
“...”
“I KNEW YOU DOING ZACHS HOMEWORK EVERY DAY WAS GAY”
“SHUT UP AINT HE YOUR MAN”
“OHH um erm, i gave up on men to actually-”
“Wait Sven you’re taken?” Fiona asked, “Noooooo.”
“NO Fiona im single, me and Zach just hooked up once or twice that's all”
“Oh okay :3”
“FIVE DOLLARS FIONA PAY UP!” Penny screamed, “I NEED MONEY”
“YKNOW WHAT FINE, LEMME CALL GWEN HOLD UP-”
Fiona opened up her wallet and a fly flew out. Then she pulled up her phone and called the sugar mommy.
“Gwen bbg im broke”
“Im lowkirkuely shopping with my baby boo rn”
“Well i need money so can i have five bucks”
“Um lemme ask Bea hold up-”
“BRO JUST SEND THE MONEY”
“BUT WHAT IF MY GIRL WANTS SOMETHING- okay bea said its fine i just transferred you like 100 dollars”
“Yippie!”
Fiona paid up the money and Penny finally handed her a cold coffee.
“You wanna sit down?” She asked me with her iced coffee in hand.
“Sure,” I have to earn more social credits and stop fumbling.
“So um after college, what are you planning to do with your life?” Wow, really starting with the hard hitters immediately huh?
“Ummm idk man go into politics?”
“No I mean like you planning to get like married, or like have kids or anything”
“Ummm I mean if I meet a baddie yeah.”
“Hmm okay, so how close are you with your mother”
“Um why”
“I wanna gauge how well you treat the women in your life”
“Well me and my mom weren’t close, she wasn’t one who enjoyed talking with her kids y'know? And like I still love her cause she's my mom but she just wasn’t, “there” I guess.” I sighed, I never really talked to my mom much.
“Oh.” she mumbled, awkwardly pausing. “Im so sorry I ask-”
“Hey it's fine really” Said me, cutting her off.
The next 20 mintues was a lot of akward silence and glancing between Fiona and I. The only sounds to be heard was the small trickle of rain outside.
“Um we should probably get going.”
“Yea um, I like that idea.”
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