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Its been 5 months since Emmett went missing. Again, the second fucking time. Jack wonders if this would be for good this time, maybe it would be for the better if he was gone. David would be upset, sure. But he could handle it, hes the father of the family, right? The power of "God" will get him through this, or whatever.
Jack was raised to believe, of course. And he tried, he tried so fucking hard.
He can't remember when he was introduced to the Bible, it was ALWAYS there. His earliest memory though, he remembered how Emmett cared, he called him dad at one time. Subconsciously of course. But the smile that Emmett had warmed jacks five year old heart. He wondered what else he could do to please him. Guess thats the people pleaser in him.
But jack soon learned how cruel Emmett truly was, and how he'd always been that way, he was just too blinded to see it. He had good intentions, yes. But what are good intentions if your own child is being neglected?
Jacks next memory was blurry. He faintly remembered Emmett cutting off jacks only friend outside the family, but jack didn't blame Emmett. Why would he? Jack trusted him, and Emmett trusted in the Lord. God knows best.
But then Emmetts punishments began, he would call Jack a sinner, unclean, and in need of saving. Jack would spend hours in his room, reading the scriptures.
He thought that maybe if he studied, he would become pure again. Like he once was when he hadn't started to question his fathers beliefs, the whole FAMILYS beliefs at that.
But it never truly worked, but Jack couldn't let a soul know about that. So he kept quiet, did his chores, listened intently to Emmetts Sunday school teachings. The sermons, all of it. He still can't shake the feeling of being unclean. Even after getting baptized he never felt that same childhood innocence that his father- no, Emmett ruined.
When Emmett disappeared for the first time when Jack was 14, he started to hate. Jack hated to admit he missed Emmett, Hated on the lies he was fed his entire life. He hated the very idea of there being a God that could stop this. Stop the hallucinations, stop Emmett from running.
But God never did jackshit, did he? No matter how much he prayed to make Emmett come back no matter how much he hated him.
And somehow, Jack's prayers were answered.
But in a really twisted fucked up way.
Martin went missing, his body was found under a shed. Nobody knows what happened to him, David didn't seem affected though. Just silently became head of the house. Then Emmett showed back up. It was all so suspicious, but Jack couldn't ask questions, even now that he was older he still couldn't.
Now Jack is Twenty one, and Emmett is gone again. And he knows who's fault it is-
Nothing but his own.
This was gods punishment for non-belief, for being a sinner unworthy of repentance. And now Emmett is paying for jacks sins. It's almost a sick joke.
He stares at himself in the mirror, it's dirty. Just like him. He can faintly hear David's record player in the other room, "Amazing grace" taunting him.
Even prayer cannot cleanse Jack, an impure soul cannot be fixed by baptism. Death is no escape either. Hell is awaiting him
Or maybe he died long ago and this was his punishment. Forever taunted by David's fucking record player. Every evening it almost pierces through his bedroom walls like clockwork.
Taunted by his own disbelief. It was sick. 𝘏𝘦 was sick.