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Aang couldn’t sleep. Ever since that terrible play he wanted nothing more but to be alone for a while, but when he finally got a moment for himself he felt even worse. Once they reached their temporary house he quickly excused himself from the company of his friends and hurried to his room, hoping that the sleep will ease his growing frustration.
The sleep, however, wouldn’t come.
Aang was torturing himself with self critique. What was he thinking?! Kissing Katara while she was telling him she’s confused? Pressuring her like that? He felt ashamed of himself and at that moment, laying restlessly on his bed, if given the chance to somehow fix his mistake he would take it immediately. He felt anguish.
The young Avatar’s mind was racing and he felt that if he lay there any longer he would shatter into pieces. Aang grunted, shifted and his feet met the warm, wooden floor. He slowly stood up and started walking towards the door, his limbs still stiff. He needed fresh air, the stillness of his room was suffocating.
He stepped into the corridor. Except for the occasional creaking and the distant sound of waves striking the shore, the house was completely quiet. Aang started tiptoeing towards the house’s balcony, careful not to wake his friends up. In just a moment he was nearly there, one corner separating him from his goal. The entire ordeal eased his mind, even if only for a moment. He turned left and suddenly bumped into something.
Aang’s mind stopped for a second.
Startled, he focused his eyes on this unexpected obstacle. After another half a second he realized what, or rather who, he was looking at
It was Katara.
His heart skipped a beat, his eyes widened, his face went red and took on a shocked expression. Katara’s reaction wasn’t much different. They both stared at each other for a few seconds until Aang finally managed to shake off his stupor enough to say something
„Oh K-Katara! Hi!” he blurted with too much enthusiasm, as if she caught him doing something he wasn’t supposed to.
„Hi Aang!” she answered way too quickly which resulted in her face reddening even more.
„Ummm w-where are you going? I just needed a breath of fresh air!” his fake, over the top enthusiasm trying to cover his embarrassment.
„Oh me? I just couldn’t sleep! So I went for a walk!” she responded with the same fake enthusiasm.
Another long, excruciating pause followed. Both of them stood there with their eyes locked stubbornly on the floor, neither of them wanting the silence to continue but also way too embarrassed to say anything.
Finally, Aang spoke, his eyes still locked on the floor „I’m so, so sorry Katara. For everything.”.
The silence continued for a few seconds.
He raised his head slightly, expecting her to shoot him an angry stare or walk away. To his surprise, however, Katara gave him a small, shy smile and a kind look.
„Want to talk?” she asked finally, her voice a mixture of nervousness and that familiar warmth.
Aang nodded, to which she responded by grabbing his wrist and pulling him lightly besides her into her room.
Katara’s room was an identical copy of his, with one, big window facing the doors. Moonlight pouring out of it was the only thing illuminating the room.
They sat on her bed next to each other, both nervous. Aang looked like he was about to melt.
For a long while, they went silent again.
He tried to say something, but his attempt failed miserably. He was hunched over, completely flushed and looked like he wanted to run off, his failed attempt at conversation not helping his case. Seeing the state he was in, Katara decided to break the silence
„I’m not mad at you Aang” she said slowly out of nowhere and paused for a second „what you did was wrong, but… you are still my friend.”
Aang’s mind finally halted to a stop
„You… you aren’t?” he responded, wondering if he actually fell asleep and this was a dream.
„I’m not” she said simply
A few moments of silence followed
Aang relaxed just a bit, raised his head to meet her gaze and finally found the courage to speak
„I’m so sorry Katara. Sorry for jumping you like that, sorry for how I acted, sorry for that…” he paused, his face reddened more and his eyes travelled downwards again „… for that kiss…” he said slowly, as if the words were hurting him „I shouldn’t have acted like this. You… you didn’t deserve that.” he said, and he felt a big lump form in his throat
A few seconds passed
„Apology accepted” she said simply and smiled at him again
His heart skipped a beat in disbelief
Aang couldn’t believe it. Ten minutes ago he was afraid of what it will take to rebuild his bond with Katara and if it was even possible
And she just forgave him
„I think I owe you an apology too” she continued „I wasn’t as clear with you as I wanted to”
Aang interrupted her, sounding miserable „No, Katara, I understand. You aren’t sure how you feel about me and-”
She didn’t let him finish. She firmly cupped his face and raised it so his eyes would meet hers, which silenced him instantly.
He felt like she was staring into his soul, moonlight glittering in her eyes. His cheeks were burning furiously but he was too paralyzed to notice.
„I’m not confused about how I feel about you” she finally said, her voice calm and soft, gazing at him as if she wanted to memorize every single detail of his face
Aang held her gaze, confused and uncertain beyond his mind
Katara paused and bitten her lip, as if she was considering how to phrase what she was about to say
„It’s not the time yet…” she paused for a second „…but trust me, I want to be with you just as much as you want to be with me, Aang” she said quietly and blushed, finally letting go of his face to his disappointment.
Katara looked down, yet Aang kept staring at her after her quiet admission. This couldn’t possibly be true, he had to be hallucinating.
Aang took his time to respond, still processing what he had just heard
„Katara, you aren’t saying that…” he started slowly, doubting that what he had just heard was real
„You know exactly what I mean” she interrupted, her voice hitting a playful note but still utterly nervous. She didn’t stop staring at her knees.
Aang felt his thoughts begin to move again. Fast. They flew by faster than light, escaped their galaxy and witnessed the dusty footpaths on the distant planets. He just stared at her, unable to convince himself of what he had just heard.
Finally, when his thoughts finally came back from their space voyages, he decided to say something
„but… why can’t we be together now?” he asked before he could stop himself and cursed himself for saying that. He should be satisfied with what he had already heard, why was he asking more questions?!
Katara looked at him and frowned a little, her face thoughtful
„Aang. Soon you will have to face the most powerful maniac in the world” her eyes became unfocused as if her mind escaped her body. She laced her fingers through his and squeezed his hand hard, as if she needed the reassurance that he was still there
„and I feel that it’s going to happen sooner than we expect it to. We need to focus on ending the war first, even if it’s against our wishes…” she looked up and her eyes focused on his again „and besides… I want us together to be a symbol of something. I want it to be a start of a new era. Getting together when there is a chance that one of us may…” she paused, failing miserably at masking her absolute fear „… may not be around… to… to see the war’s ending…it feels wrong.” her head dropped completely, any attempt at hiding her pure horror at the thought of Aang not surviving the battle ceased. A tear ran down her cheek.
And Aang finally understood. She was scared. Scared for him. The thought of Katara being afraid so much because of him made his stomach drop. And he was hit with more shame. A lot of it.
Because he realized that Katara was struggling and instead of helping her he just added onto her worries.
He didn’t stare at her for too long then.
He moved closer and hugged her
„I’m so, so, so sorry Katara” he said a bit frantically, trying to comfort her „I didn’t… I… oh spirits!” he cursed, because what words could convey how sorry he was?
„It’s okay Aang, it’s okay” she said, her voice thick with unshed tears „just… promise me that you will come back. Just promise”
They moved apart slightly, just enough so they could look each other in the eyes
„I promise” Aang said simply, not breaking the eye contact. Katara sighed in relief, as if his words were a guarantee.
They sat there in silence for a few minutes, hands on each other. He just wanted her to know that he was there for her.
„Thank you” Katara said quietly
The silence continued, tension fading. Aang gently got out of her embrace, sat next to her and smiled.
„That was a terrible play” he said, his humor finally coming back after an evening of self inflicted torment. They both giggled.
The next hour was spent on mocking the play, jokes and light conversations, the last traces of negativity between them fading away. When their tiredness became too apparent, they finally said goodnight to each other and hugged for the last time.
A few minutes later, Aang was already drifting off to sleep, praying to every spirit he had ever known that this wasn’t just a dream.