Work Text:
Contact between Earth and Erid had grown by leaps and bounds. EESRA (Earth Erid Sciences and Research Alliance) is making great strides. Dunder-Mifflin Labs is at the forefront of the two planets' collaborative engineering efforts.
Jim is a head engineer at the lab, and has known Rocky for two years now. In that time, most of their communication has been about the creation of devices that would allow Eridian and Human scientists to efficiantly translate and share research documents and findings faster than ever.
Although it's not their first meeting, and not Rocky's first time in an Earth lab, he is still excited to see his friend after having spent months on the Eridian research station since their last visit. He practically bursts through the doors upon arrival, greeting Jim like they've been pals for decades, and a grandiose "fist my bump" echoes through the building's main hall.
Rocky greets most of the people they pass on the way to the engineering lab. Some new faces, who've not yet laid eyes on any Eridian, are just as excited for him to be there as he is. The buzzing and mumbling sounds of people are soon replaced with a quiet drone of equipment as they enter Jim's domain.
"So, these are the prototypes we've been working on," Jim starts as Rocky follows him to a row of somewhat large and clunky devices. "We're still perfecting the details on a few Eridian words and characters, but it's very close to complete. Transfers are consistent, and we worked out the sizing bugs. Basically, the whole team is confident that we'll be trading automaticlly translated documents between our scientists within the year." He pats the top of one of the printer-like machines.
"Amaze, amaze! This great news. Rocky will tell team back at base. Show samples, question?"
"Yeah, of course." Jim waves his hand and they enter a smaller office space, the mechanical drone fading as the door swings shut behind them. Jim moves a few boxes around, searching for the right one as the door swings open again like a whip, causing Rocky to jump just a little.
"Hey, Jim, I go- oh, my God I'm sorry. I didn't mean to barge in and interrupt." Pam looks a little more caught off guard than she should be perhaps. She does work here, and he did ask her to bring the files before she left for the day (technically she should have been gone 10 minutes ago, but she likes working for Jim.) Jim immediately reassures her.
"No, it's fine. Uh, Rocky this is Pam. She's our lab attendant."
"Hello," Rocky waves at her. "Rocky here to look at new research printers."
"Uhm...hi- hello," Pam beams as she finds her words again. "What a pleasure to meet you."
"Amaze. Pam most not-disgusting human Rocky has ever seen."
"Um..." Pams arms drop just a bit, and with them, one of the folders she's holding. She quickly retrieves it and regains her composure, though.
"Is compliment!" Rocky's arms fly up for emphasis.
"Thank you."
"You can just put the folders on that desk, thanks Pam," Jim says as he motions to guide her.
"Yeah, sure thing."
"Pam very beautiful for human!" Rocky continues as she puts the folders down. Pam blushes and pats the sides of the stack with her hands to straighten them out, avoiding Jim's gaze, though she sees it out of the corner of her eye.
"Oh, thank you!"
"Dr. Halpert think so, too," he adds then, and points to his pal, who is visibly mortified.
"What?" Jim's wonders why exactly he's asking for clarification.
"Dr. Halpert's skin leak profusely when Pam walked in the room. Rocky detect. Also heart rate faster."
"Oh, my God."
"He's just messing with you," Jim chuckles out nervously.
"Rocky is not lying, why Dr. Halpert lie?"
"You can hear his heartbeat?" Pam asks as she turns to Rocky.
"Yes! Yes! Can hear Pam heart, too! ...Is also quite fast...OOOH," he gasps, "Pam and Dr. Halpert mates! Why Dr. Halpert not tell Rocky about mate, question? We only talk about printers for months!"
"No, no no-" Jim sputters out in a growing panic.
"Dr. Halpert found prettiest human female for mate!"
"Rocky-"
"Have pebbles, question?"
"No! Uh...no. Rocky, Pam isn't my mate."
"Oh. But Pam and Dr. Halpert excited around eachother. Does not make sense."
"Rocky, this isn't really the best time for this conversation."
"Is perfect time! Pam here, Dr. Halpert here! Problem solved!"
"No, I don't think you understand-"
"Why you so against Pam being mate, angry question?"
Rocky's annoyance is cut short when the door to the office opens again, an unfamiliar voice (but all too familiar for Jim) coming though.
"Hey, babe. Ready to go?" Roy tilts his head toward the exit, a bit of urgency in his voice as he holds the door back and waits for Pam.
"Oh. Yeah, be right there. Rocky, it was nice to meet you." She turns to Jim briefly. "Close this on my way out?"
"Yes, please."
His head falls straight into his hands with the click of the door.
"Pam so nice! Perfect for Dr. Halpert!"
"Rocky! Dude!" Now Jim's arms are up for emphasis.
"You are upset, question?"
"Well, yeah! Rocky, you can't just assume things and suggest that two humans mate!"
"Why not?"
"Because it's- it's considered very rude. And Pam already has a...a mate."
"Oh." He pauses. "Pam mate maybe not best for Pam."
"How would you know?" Jim grabs one of the folders she brought in and opens it up, not genuinely interested in reading it at this time.
"Pam seem excited to see Dr. Halpert. Not so much to see mate. Look." Rocky points past Jim's head, toward the small window looking out to the lab room. Roy and Pam are near the exit, not really audible, but clearly in an uncomfortable conversation.
"They're just talking. And leaving," Jim reasons as he turns back to the documents he's not reading.
"Pam body language change, Rocky sense heart rate. Different."
"Well. Doesn't matter."
"Dr. Halpert seem upset about this."
"Well, yeah." He's really not in the mood to explain sociology or whatever to an Eridian right now.
"This happen with Eridians, too." Rocky's tone has softened. As if he very suddenly understands the situation.
"Yeah? How's that usually go?"
"Nothing stop love."
"It's not love. It's just a crush."
"Dr. Halpert want to CRUSH Pam?!" Rocky asks, shocked.
"NO, no. I just...like her a lot. Anyway, we shouldn't be talking about this." Jim snaps the folders shut and tosses it back on the desk. "I shouldn't have said anything."
Rocky takes another pause, and the softer tone returns, though what he says next has some authority to it. "Dr. Halpert should be Pam mate anyway."
"Well, Pam current mate would KILL Dr. Halpert, so."
"Rocky stop him. Explain Dr. Halpert is better mate." He says it so matter of factly. It makes Jim smirk and huff through his nose.
"I don't think that would go the way you think, Rocky."
"Oh, well. Rocky stronger than humans."
"Why don't we put a pin in it?"
"What this mean?"
"We'll talk about it later."
Jim manages to change the subject and get them out of the lab before they're the last ones in the building. He and Rocky are close, and he really will tell Rocky about Pam at some point- truly, he will. He will tell Rocky that Pam is his Adrian. That yeah, he does think he should be Pam's "mate". He's just putting it off because he's...scared. Because he knows Rocky is right. Roy isn't the right mate for Pam. Everyone sees it. Apparently it's obvious universal knowledge. So why doesn't she?