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“Thank you for the opportunity, Sakaki-san. I’m honored that you’re willing to spend your free time like this.” Tsukasa hesitantly enters the room. He honestly still couldn’t believe that Sakaki is interested in him this much… so much so he’s willing to coach him privately. The last time he helped was a huge breakthrough for Tsukasa, in his eyes, accepting his offer is pretty much a no brainer..
“Thank you too, Tenma-kun. I’m pretty sure you’re a busy person as well. So I’m as happy as you are to be honest.” Sakaki closes the door behind. He apparently rented a studio room for them, it’s ‘not a big deal’ and told Tsukasa to not worry about it. He feels a bit guilty anyway.
“No-no, you are far busier than I could ever be! Sorry to repeat myself, but really, I’m really thankful for the help before and-”
“Haha, let’s stop there, or we’re gonna talk in circles, and that’ll waste our precious time, no?” Sakaki cuts his words short.
“Haha… You’re… right. Sakaki-san.” He reluctantly agrees. With only two of them, the studio looks far too empty and desolate. It’s so sparse that Tsukasa doesn’t know what to say and clams up. Waiting for Sakaki to say something, especially the reason why he agreed to meet in the first place.
A never before seen method of acting. That was what Sakaki told him with no further details, claiming it to be… confidential and experimental… and most importantly, a bit risky. Remembering Sakaki’s words that it’s necessary to take risks… and how well it paid off last time… his curiosity is piqued and the next thing he knows he’s alone with him here.
Sakaki, seeing Tsukasa so tense, walks away from him and around the room. It may be empty but there’s some props put against the wall, lights, and a few chairs. He then drags two chairs near Tsukasa. The screeching sound of its legs against the floor makes Tsukasa flinch.
“Go on, sit. You seem real nervous.” Sakaki urges and Tsukasa admits it. He is nervous as hell. Even with his friends, he’s still nervous, so right now this is another level of nervewrecking. He sits down playing with his own fingers, something he hasn’t done in who knows how long.
“I’m sorry, Sakaki-san. Unlike last time, I don’t know what to talk about and you weren’t exactly clear on what we’ll be doing today… so my mind has been going everywhere.”
“Hm…? What do you mean by everywhere?”
“Ha… I’m mostly scared of messing it up. Or inconveniencing you, something like that. You don’t have to worry about it, Sakaki-san.”
“On the contrary, I need to know. Because it’s relevant to what we’ll do today. And if you’re worrying about things too much it will not work.”
Tsukasa perks up as he says that. If him being worried gets in the way, then he needs to stop doing that.
“Sorry! I’ll try not to think about it then!” He straightened his posture, amusing Sakaki.
“Haha… you really are the type of person who gives it their all, huh? Tenma-kun, that’s very commendable of you.” Sakaki then sits down across from him. “Anyway, Let’s start then.”
“Thank you! Um… what should I do? Do you have a role for me to try?”
“Something like that,” He pauses, “But I’ll explain what this… method of acting is first. In my experience, no one has properly utilised it before… and seeing how you performed last time… I think you might be able to take advantage of it.”
“What… is it?” Tsukasa asks, slightly leaning forward. His throat feels a bit heavy as the silence from anticipation lingers. As if he knows what he’s doing, Sakaki only smiles at him for a few seconds before talking again.
“It’s acting while under hypnosis. Have you ever heard of that before?” He asks, and Tsukasa shakes his head. To him, those two words are so disconnected from each other. Acting is acting… and hypnosis… he only knows what most people do about it.
Happens on magic shows, can be used for therapy, something along those lines. He himself never searched more about it.
“Ah… I see. As I said before we met today, it is experimental and its results aren't known yet. It’s also hard to find people that may ever be suited for this kind of method. That’s why I’m so happy you agreed to it. Tenma-kun.” He takes a breath before continuing. “So, what we’re going to do today is try to put you under hypnosis, give you some suggestions, and see how well you act.”
“No-no, the pleasure is mine! Also, does that mean…You want me to act when I get hypnotized? Is that it?” Tsukasa has a few other questions he wants to ask… but he decides to go along with it for now.
“Exactly! That’s the gist of it anyway. I bet you probably have more questions… Unfortunately talking about every detail will take too long, so we should go straight to the action. You’re fine with that, right, Tenma-kun?”
“Of course, Sakaki-san. I’m ready whenever!”
“Good… good, that’s the spirit! Though ironically, I don’t need you to be worked up and excited. I need the opposite, I want you to be calm and relaxed.” He can see Tsukasa straighten up again, almost opening his mouth but Sakaki stops him. “Don’t worry, you’re not doing anything wrong, Tenma-kun. Right now, I just want you to listen to what I say.”
Tsukasa’s gaze avoids Sakaki’s, probably a bit ashamed about how nervous he is… he needs to make it right somehow. So he takes a deep breath and looks at Sakaki again, nodding to him signaling he’s ready once again.
“Alright, Tenma-kun. There’s a lot of ways to put someone into a hypnotic state… but to be honest I’m also a beginner on this stuff so I’ll do what I know best. By relaxing your body.” He pauses, Tsukasa still intensely paying attention to him. “...and that means you need to loosen up a bit. I know you’re the intense type of person, so maybe letting go of that could be hard… but I believe in you, Tenma-kun.” He looks at Tsukasa for a few moments before sighing.
“Hm… but maybe I should do something else.” Sakaki stands up and walks behind him putting his hands on Tsukasa’s shoulder. Tsukasa immediately flinches but doesn’t say anything. “Let’s just focus on my voice then. Your eyes can just look at whatever you want. Hear what I say closely and follow them, okay?”
“O-okay, Sorry if I’m making things hard for you, Sakaki-san.” As Sakaki said, he’s anything but calm and relaxed, he’s so full of energy that such words are… honestly foreign to him.
“Don’t worry about that. Just do as I say and it should be fine… Tenma-kun, I want you to take notice of your breathing and slow it down. Start breathing like that from now on, okay?”
Tsukasa reluctantly nods and actively takes notice of his own breaths, which were automatic before but he’s controlling it now. Turns out his breaths are normally shallow so he lengthens it.
“Like this, Sakaki-san?” He asks for confirmation, and he continues to breathe that way. Long inhales, and long exhales. It’s hard to believe but he does get less nervous the more he does it.
“Mhm, just like that.” And suddenly he can feel the hands resting on his shoulder moving. “Next, we should loosen up that body as well, you’re so stiff, Tenma-kun.” Sakaki explains before Tsukasa could even complain. It did startle him, but it doesn’t feel bad… he’s surprised that Sakaki can do messages pretty well.
“Tha- thank you.” He thanks awkwardly before going back to his breathing again.
“Notice wherever your tense muscles may be, and let go of them. Like after a long day and all you want is to lay down and fall asleep, that kinda feeling.” Tsukasa takes those words too far and ends up fixating on where he feels nervous. Which is everywhere, and it only tenses him up more.
“Tenma-kun… no need to think about it too harshly, your shoulders stiffen again just now. What’s wrong?”
“Sorry… I… I just don’t know where to begin.” Sakaki stops messaging him and starts humming for a while, thinking about what to do. At this point, Tsukasa starts to feel guilty about not being able to follow Sakaki’s words.
“Ah, that’s right! Tenma-kun, what if you think of what we’re doing right now as a scene of a play? And right now, this scene is about you getting hypnotized. Sure that is what’s actually happening, but maybe making it an acting opportunity will make you get into it easier.” Sakaki suggest, Tsukasa finds this to be a great idea and immediately nods to trying it out.
“So right now just think you’ll get hypnotized. Put that in your head, and think of how you should act. It’ll be an improv.”
Sakaki says sternly, his hands still resting on Tsukasa’s shoulder. Reacting to this, he remembers all he knows about hypnosis, no matter how cliched it may be. This exercise feels like magic, it immediately shifted his focus from “making sure Sakaki isn’t inconvenienced” into “performing this role as well as possible”. Something far more familiar, and less intimidating for him.
“Understood, Sakaki-san. But… is it okay if we just re-do everything?” Tsukasa acknowledges what Sakaki says. Responding to this, Sakaki lets out a deep breath.
“Of course, that’s not a problem. Let’s start from the top then, Tenma-kun.”
…
After a short discussion of the “scenario”, they really do start over, even from entering the “break room”. It’s not exactly the same, but the gist is. That slight shift in mentality makes Tsukasa far more stable. This time, he is far more curious, and Sakaki becomes a colleague rather than a mentor, a setting both of them agreed upon.
With the stakes clearly lower in his head, even if literally, it’s the same, Tsukasa finds it easier to be in Sakaki’s presence. Because both of them are actors performing a scene together. Sakaki repeats the interaction earlier, giving an introduction and nudging him to breathe slowly. Tsukasa attempts to follow as best as he can. A slow inhale, and slower exhale, again and again.
“Keep going, Tenma-kun.” He comments, “Oh right, I didn’t explain what hypnosis is that much earlier, right? I’ll tell you now as you continue controlling your breathing.”
Unlike before, they’re talking face to face, his body is rather tense, anticipating what could happen. And Sakaki starts explaining what hypnosis is. He says it’s honestly not something mystical or harmful.
It’s just a way to get into trance, something that happens everyday. A trance is usually just about focus, but it can also make someone suggestible. That’s particularly important because you can utilize it for many, many things.
Including acting.
“Do you understand now, Tenma-kun?” He ends his explanation, Tsukasa answers that’s easily understandable. “I’m glad, anyway, how are you feeling right now?” He hasn’t exactly kept tabs on the passage of time… but it was, a bit lengthy and rather repetitive. At this point he already adjusted his breathing to be much, much slower than how it usually is. Frankly, his body isn’t that tense anymore.
“Hm… I guess I feel less scared? Than before?” It is a relief to know he probably already experienced some kind of hypnosis before. He… kinda mentioned that getting invested in a role could be a form of it…
“That’s even better. Well then, should we start?”
“Start what?”
“The hypnosis of course. I was only preparing you earlier.”
“Oh… right, of course, that’s obvious.”
Sakaki takes a deep loud breath and exhales, “Okay, tell me how you feel, physically.”
Tsukasa ponders it for a while, wondering how to answer it, he doesn’t have anything to say though so he simply answers with “I’m feeling fine, I guess. I don’t really know what to say other than that…”
“Oh, sorry, I wasn’t specific enough. How does slow breathing make you feel?”
Hearing that, Tsukasa re-evaluate, in comparison to how he started all this, or heck, just before the explanation, he’s feeling much more calm. So Tsukasa answered with that, which pleased Sakaki.
“Perfect, Let’s do a classic count-down now then. Listen closely, Tenma-kun. It won’t be long. Just from five to one. With each number down, it’ll make you feel calmer and quieter.” He says calmly, and starts counting down.
Those are just numbers stated slowly, really, really slowly with a somewhat long pause in between. For some reason Tsukasa is drawn to it. To the point he’s waiting for a number. The pause is so deafening that the second he says a number, his head feels as if it’s dunked down. As he said so earlier.
“...One. Tenma-kun, do you feel calmer now?”
“H-huh? uh… yes…” He doesn’t realize when, but his head starts to get foggy, there’s a hint of lag when he asks that, as if he’s drifting somewhere. “So-sorry… I’m a bit dazed.”
“Are you okay? are you hurt?” Sakaki asks. But he’s not hurting or anything… it’s just… something is a bit off with how he’s feeling. And it’s not a bad thing… it’s difficult to put to words…
Tsukasa shakes his head. “No, don’t worry, I’m not hurt. Just a bit… a bit… distracted? and… uh… you look a bit far away… Sakaki-san.”
His vision blurs a little every now and then, and he only barely notices now that his eyelids are drooping a bit. He doesn’t understand, what this could mean.
Hearing that, Sakaki chuckles. “Oh… I thought it’s something else. That means you’re probably just in a trance.” He explains.
But this feels different than acting, this is much more… blurry. Less, intense, and more, floaty. Of course he asks that to Sakaki.
“Am I, really? I… never felt like this before… usually… I just…-”
“Well a trance from hypnosis usually feels much lighter, and makes your head a bit dizzy sometimes, rather than… the usual intense focus where you pour a lot of energy into it. This is the opposite, no? You look pretty relaxed to me, and that’s good. What you’re feeling is normal, tenma-kun.” He gives yet another explanation. For a beginner… he seems pretty knowledgeable.
“Mmm… I see.” What he says is true, he does feel lighter. It’s… a bit jarring yet it’s not that bad to be honest. Maybe he can get used to this.
“Hm… let’s test some suggestions now… Tenma-kun?”
“Uh- what is it?” Tsukasa gets startled. He’s quite unsure… but it feels like the more time passes, his thoughts seem to slip further.
“Raise your left hand. Do it as naturally as you can”. Even before finishing the sentence, Tsukasa’s shoulders twitch, preparing to move eagerly. Despite the confusion, he raises his hand for a moment before dropping it soon after. He honestly cannot comprehend what just happened.
“So physically… It's good enough. Got it.” Sakaki murmurs to himself, and then talks to Tsukasa again.
He looks more dazed than before, maybe the confusion earlier stuck longer than it should.
“Tenma-kun, do you have any questions?”
“...why, I… did that? Earlier.”
“Because you’re in a trance and are more suggestible than usual. Repeat that for me”
“Uh- uh… because… I’m in a trance… and is more suggestible than usual?” He jolts and puts that request on top of his head to execute. It’s strange. It’s like he’s bypassing his common sense. Why though…?
“That’s right, Tenma-kun. When someone is in a trance, they’re typically more suggestible and susceptible. It’s easier for them to receive and accept ideas than when they are fully aware.” Sakaki looks at Tsukasa, he seems somewhat unresponsive.
“Do you know what that means?” He prompts, Tsukasa’s eyes widens as he realizes he needs to answer.
“Um… to be honest, no.” He says. It is true though, to him, Sakaki is merely relaying information…
“It’s okay, I’ll tell you.” Sakaki stands up and leans onto him, his voice taking a different tone than how he was doing so far. “That means, Tenma-kun. It is easier for you to absorb everything I say. Everything I say to you right now is a suggestion. And if you have no strong inclination to disagree, it’ll be easy for you to accept them.”
“For example…” His hand slowly guides him to face him. “Look at me. And keep at it until I tell you to stop.”
Tsukasa doesn’t really do anything, his face is already looking at him after all. There’s… not much he can do.
“And from now on, when you look at me, you won’t be as nervous anymore. Got it?” He asks, and Tsukasa nods. But those very words made him realize something.
“...Sakaki-san, I’ve been less nervous even before you said that…”
“That’s great to hear then. This will just ensure it even further.” Sakaki pauses to observe if he has anything else to say. When Tsukasa continues to be quiet, he opens his mouth again. “Now another thing, I want you to pay attention to how your head feels. Can you tell me about it?”
“...Hm… it’s a bit blurry. I guess like… foggy? And a bit tired…” He struggles to find the right words, it’s starting to get difficult to string sentences together for some reason.
“Ah, I see. I want you to focus on those feelings, Tenma-kun. Let it settle nicely in your head. It’s basically deepening the trance. And the deeper you are, the better.”
Somehow without even meaning to, he takes all those words in easily. Or maybe his mind did. He isn’t sure which one it is, he is sure that what he says becomes true, though. It wasn’t too noticeable before. It is now, and his head is a bit wonky just from that. He tries to clear his mind, but Sakaki’s words come back to him. That he is supposed to be in trance, probably.
“...Sakaki…san… I… is this supposed to happen?” Still looking at him, his words continue to tinker his mind somehow, Sakaki didn’t even say anything more. It’s just silence yet each second seemingly pushes him further… this is confusing… he needs some clarity.
“Haha, of course. I can clearly see that you look more relaxed now. Does your head or eyelids feel heavy, Tenma-kun?”
“...Mhm.” Now that Sakaki mentions it, his eyes get heavy and his head gets lighter. It’s like he’s going to pass out, will he? No… he needs to stay awake…
“Then you can lean forward and close your eyes if you need to.” When he says that, Tsukasa immediately gives in. There was no reason for him to stay up like that anyway.
Now greeted by darkness, Sakaki’s voice becomes much clearer. He hasn’t said anything yet, but his breaths are audible. Tsukasa doesn’t know what to do other than wait for what Sakaki would say.
He can feel a whisper close to his ears, “Tenma-kun, listen closely. Right now, you’re in…what I’d assume to be a decently deep trance. Before I continue, what do you feel about all this?”
He considers it for a moment… he isn’t feeling anything in particular… so he answers with that.
“I see, but it isn’t bad, isn’t it? Maybe it can be something you’ll be fond of… Sorry I’m getting ahead of myself. If you’re neutral about it, then you won’t mind if it gets a bit more intense, right?"
“...I guess…”
A very, small part of Tsukasa thought that he shouldn't say that… there’s still a fear even if it’s miniscule. So it’s best if he ignores it.
Hearing that, Sakaki starts talking to Tsukasa again. What is he saying exactly? He’s not sure but his mind sure catches it efficiently. It’s like at some point his voice alone already leads him farther away from himself.
Details of his sentence start to blur. He just knows that whatever he’s saying, it’s making his brain feel like mush. Sometimes he’ll ask for confirmation, or acknowledgement, or a repeat of what he said…
And each time Tsukasa complies, it puts him much… deeper and more comfortable in trance.
…
“Tenma-kun?”
“Uh- yes?” Tsukasa eagerly replies. It’s hard for him to grasp anything that’s not… what Sakaki is saying.
“You’re in… a pretty deep trance now, right?”
“Um… yes.”
“And… it’s pretty difficult to keep your thoughts together?”
“...yes, Sakaki-san.”
“Does it bother you?”
“...not really.”
Even though he can’t see it. Sakaki smiles. Then lightly gives him a headpat. “Raise your head and open your eyes.”
It’s… incredibly heavy for him to do that, yet he’s able to do it with ease. It’s like he’ll listen to whatever Sakaki says now.
When his head straightens up, he reluctantly opens his eyes. Sakaki is still there like before. And he notices how fuzzy everything is. His head, his surroundings, heck even Sakaki himself. He also notice that his mouth is… dry, likely from opening it for too long… there’s also some drool slipping out that wasn’t clear to him before.
“Tenma-kun, how are you feeling?”
“...Good.” He was… convinced at some point… that it’s good… to be fair it’s not really a lie. It’s so rare for Tsukasa to feel this relaxed, which is a good thing.
“I’m glad. Let’s start the most important thing now then.” Sakaki cusps Tsukasa’s face with both of his hands. Demanding his full attention
“I’ll preface, this is probably going to be… a bit painful. But bear with it.”
“...yes I understand.”
Sakaki’s eyes are locked onto Tsukasa. It’s a bit glassy, he can almost clearly see his own reflection inside those eyes… he takes a deep breath.
“Tenma-kun. Can you introduce yourself? Name and such. Keep it brief.”
“...Tsukasa Tenma. 18 years old. Member of Wonderland x Showtime… A star in the future… I… I want to be the world’s star one day.” It takes him a while to fully say that. When he finished, he tightened the grip of his hands.
“...Please forget about it for now.”
“For…get? As in…?”
“Your name, your goals, pretty much everything that makes you, you.”
The second he says that. The relatively quiet, calm, and relaxed Tsukasa tenses up. His chest tightens and his breath shallows, he can’t accept this
“No…no, no. That’s… that’s impossible. I… I’m Tsukasa Tenma! I can’t just- I can’t-”
“But you can… if not… then you won’t be able to act like you do. How many times have you done this without realizing it?”
“No… you… you’re wrong…! I… I never… never…” Due to his deep trance, his thoughts trail off and shorten. It’s…hard to keep and convey his thoughts properly.
“You’ve done this many times before. You just never realized it before. Repeat that for me.”
“No… I… I never… I…” Following Sakaki’s word at this moment has pretty much become a second nature for him. So not doing it… feels wrong… but doing it… is wrong… as well…
“i know it’s hard to believe… but it’s the truth. You did this before, didn’t you?”
Tsukasa lightly shakes his head, yet his mouth agrees with what he says. Something he has done many times before.
“I… what is this… why… why am I…”
“Shh… calm down and listen to me. I know this must be confusing, right? That’s why it’s better for you to just listen to me instead of thinking about it too hard.” Sakaki lightly caresses Tsukasa’s head, trying to calm him down. It works, fortunately, as every word is slowly being processed into his mind.
“As you may already know, there is a lot that goes into acting… but for you, I can’t help but notice one particular thing. We discussed it before, about method acting. What I’m trying to do here… is not much different from that.” He takes a deep breath, leading Tsukasa to do the same. “I want you, to be immersed in a role even more… and I’d figure, what better way than putting a pause on you, as Tsukasa Tenma, and replacing it with someone… no, something more adaptable?”
“Am I… not good enough at doing that already?” Tsukasa winces, to him, this feels like a clear disapproval from someone he looks up to, it cuts deeper than whatever he has said before… mostly due to his currently vulnerable state.
Of course, Sakaki takes that chance.
“Honestly… I don’t know, but that’s what I want to find out right now.” He then lowers his voice again, if not for the quiet studio room, it will be nothing but quiet murmurs.
“Will you cooperate with me to find out?” A chance to redeem himself, Tsukasa bites. It’s something both of them want…
“Then let’s start over, okay? Tenma-kun?”
This time Sakaki gets into it easier, making sure to emphasize that it is, temporary. And only for acting purposes, so it’s alright for him to let go of who he is for a while… even if it’s painful and disorienting.
“Hmm… Tenma-kun, maybe we should do it progressively… think of words that describe you, what you are, and slowly pull yourself away from them.” Sakaki puts his hand on Tsukasa’s shoulder. “Bit by bit, you don’t need to be that person anymore. Whatever and whoever you think you are… that’s no longer you, got it?”
Tsukasa nods, yet as expected, it is… a bit painful to experience. His chest tightens and his head hurts, it’s not as bad as outright rejecting everything earlier, but something is definitely wrong… casting himself away…. can never be right… yet… Sakaki keeps reassuring him, watching him carefully, making sure everything is going fine. It’s what he said, there’s no reason to doubt him.
“But… that’s all I have, I… if I’m not Tsukasa Tenma… I… I…” He wants to continue the sentence, claiming that he will be broken and even more worthless, it didn’t manage to leave his mouth as his thoughts still easily drift off.
Nevertheless, Sakaki pushes on.
“That’s wrong, Tenma-kun. You… you have me. And I believe in your tremendous potential. With this… I believe it will help you realize it. So please, can you have some faith in me as well?”
Tsukasa stares quietly at him, those words… are bold. Frankly, reassuring. So Sakaki trusts him… returning the favor would be the least he can do… right?
“...Okay.” He reluctantly agrees, but that reluctance is nothing but a little hitch on what’s to come. Replying with a thanks, Sakaki returns to his mutterings. Leading him farther and farther away. Pulling Tsukasa apart slowly.
Of course, Tsukasa protested. It’s unpleasant, every word feels like a scalpel cutting through his skin. Carefully tearing him open, and pushing his guts out. Yet all of it is done via nothing but seemingly meaningless words, or at the very least, things that sound stupid to the average person yet his mind understood easily.
Telling him to move away from himself, cutting off everything that makes him, who he is, telling him to forget, it doesn’t matter, ignore your gut because it’s part of the process, it’s okay to let go of everything, to forget, be a stranger to himself, telling that everything he is is untrue, to forget and let something else takes root.
Repeatedly correcting what he says, because he’s not Tsukasa Tenma anymore, he doesn’t need to be. Again, and again. When it’s wrong, Sakaki gently reminds him, that he’s not Tsukasa, he doesn’t need to be! He can just… sit back and listen to what Sakaki says. That’s what he’s for, that’s why they’re together.
“Sakaki…san… who am I again…?” Tsukasa has asked this question several times before this. And every time, there’s an inkling of an answer on his own… but he turns into Sakaki, because that’s what he’s supposed to be doing now.
And every time, he would repeat, without fail. That he is no one in particular, he doesn’t have a proper identity, and that’s fine. It’s how he’s supposed to be. Tsukasa then will nod, and it repeats. Sakaki will talk some more, Tsukasa will get confused, Sakaki will answer, and repeat.
With each time, getting easier to take in.
…
..
.
“Sakaki san… is it really okay for me to not be anything at all?”
“Of course, I thought you’d never ask.” Sakaki finally gives some space and starts talking normally again. “So how do you feel?”
“...It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt anymore. But… I do feel a bit… spacey I guess. Is that okay?”
Sakaki nods, “Mhm, sounds like you’re doing good. I want you to remember what you are right now as clearly as possible, can you do that?”
“Meaning?” Tsukasa tilts his head.
“I want you to remember how you are right now. What you think you are, how are you feeling, both in body and mind. Etch it as sharp as possible in your memory. Can you do that?”
Nodding, he tries to notice himself. More than anything, it is eerily quiet. Thoughts that run in his head are pretty minimal, and he’s not really concerned about anything in particular. He’s mostly just waiting for what Sakaki says, and whatever it is, it easily gets into his head. That includes what he asked for earlier, about remembering it. He will remember it.
“Now that you’re thinking about this… I’d like to remind you that this is temporary, and you can be… ‘normal’ again anytime. And the reverse is true, you can be like this anytime as well… I want to tie how you are right now to a trigger word. Something that I or you can say to put you back into this non-identity. Are you following me?”
He confirms with a nod, it sounds like a lot of words… but he catches the gist of it, he always does.
“Great, now listen to me closely. Hm… when you hear me or yourself say… ‘Reset’. Like this, you’ll feel yourself rapidly losing yourself back to how you are right now. Hopefully it won’t be painful, but it will most likely work. Do you understand?”
“Mhm, I think I do. But… it’s hard to imagine it in practice…”
“Of course it is, so let’s put it into action now, I’ll tell you some things, I want you to pay attention and put it into your head, take the details as much as possible.”
There, he spells out a scenario. A clumsy and shy adventurer lost on his journey and has been going around and around for hours with no clue or someone to ask. Tired and weary, he passes out, but is saved by Sakaki.
A pretty simple scenario, but it runs vividly in Tsukasa’s head. He almost misses the part where Sakaki says that’s who he will be after a count to ‘wake him up’. Whatever that means.
“... and five! Wake up, Tenma-kun.”
Tsukasa widens his eyes and frantically looks around. His head still a little bit hazy from passing out, in front of him stands a stranger who smiles at him… He feels a bit wary but on the other hand he’s sure he’s the one who has saved him. He was the last person he saw after all.
“Sorry… Can you tell me who you are and where I am?” He says meekly to this person, unsure how to talk to him correctly.
…
The scene that unfolds is nothing out of the ordinary, Sakaki lays out more information to him, and Tsukasa is able to digest it easily. It does feel like a typical improv, but there’s no hesitation from Tsukasa’s end as long as it’s not about the settings. Which Sakaki never explains clearly… the banter they had felt as if he’s been taking on this role for at least a day of practice.
Which is amazing because this character Sakaki gave to him is pretty far from how Tsukasa is. Constantly jittery, shaky and quiet. That’s what he wants to test most. Sure it’s still stiff in the details… but for now… this is enough success.
“Th-thank you Sakaki-san! I… I’ll try to be careful!” He bows to Sakaki, thanking him for what he’s done to help him.
“You’re welcome. But, I have one last thing to say?”
“Uh, um, what is it?”
“ ‘Reset’. ”
In that moment, shivers run through his head, before everything he has built together just now falls and melts down. He isn’t exactly sure of what’s going on… but he couldn’t stop it. So he lets it happen.
Those few seconds feel like minutes, eventually everything settles back to how it was before the scenario.
“Sakaki san… Who am I?” He asks in a daze again, which signals it works perfectly.
As much as he wants to test it further, his time is limited. So he decides to wrap it up, easing him back to the usual Tsukasa. Being the ‘real personality’, it’s far quicker and easier to do.
Still under, Sakaki says one last thing.
“You should try practicing and acting in this way on your own… and don’t let anyone know, okay?”