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Lucy Knight always dreamed of having kids one day, but she was always convinced that’s what it was, a dream. She always daydreamed of having a mini version of her to love on and snuggle, but Lucy never thought that was in the cards for her, not with the way life had treated her.
So imagine Lucy’s surprise when her period was late, which it never was because her cycle always arrived at the same time of the month like clockwork. She ran to the store immediately, she couldn’t wait until John got in from his shift so she peed on the stick, waited five minutes, and two clear-as-day pink lines stared back at her.
Lucy was overcome with emotion, this was all that she had ever wanted for such a long time, after thinking for so long—especially after the accident— that she would never have this life. Life had dealt Lucy a cruel hand, but she thought that for once everything was going to be okay.
Her shoulders dropped in relief, remembering that she wasn’t doing this all alone like her mother did. John had been glued to her side since Valentine’s Day 2000 and hadn’t left since.
As soon as John entered Lucy’s little apartment that she purchased two years ago that John moved into not too soon after, she couldn’t hold in the news. His lips morphed into the biggest smile she had ever seen, and then he started crying. Lucy laughed at his sappyness.
John didn’t think that his life would go this way either. He had been with many women but never settled down long enough where the topic of children with brought up. And then, entered Lucy Knight and for the first time, he was convinced that he could have a future with her.
John was thrilled that they settled down and that they agreed that they wanted children. Lucy grounded John, and for that, John was grateful.
For the first time in both of their lives, they were the most sure that they had ever been.
John and Lucy decided to stay in their own little bubble for a while longer, not wanting to tell anyone at work until they were in the clear.
When that time came, the ER erupted into squeals and cheers for both of them. Abby and Jing-Mei fought over who would be godmother and Lucy hung back with the stupidest grin on her face, everything would be alright.
Lucy and John decided to keep the gender a secret, not wanting to know until he or she was here. John was convinced their baby was a girl while Lucy was still undecided, claiming that ‘I don’t care, as long as they’re healthy.’
As the months stretched on, and Lucy grew bigger, she was getting fed up with waiting. Sometimes whispering for them to ‘Hurry up!’. Lucy sometimes couldn’t comprehend that she was growing an entire human inside of her, the feeling still so surreal.
Lucy's body was going through massive change for a second time in her life. The first time being the stabbing, but this time, Lucy didn’t mind the change in her body, knowing that this time something positive would come out of it.
John was obsessed with Lucy now, more than he was before. Always seizing the opportunity to talk to the baby or kiss her belly and trace his lips over the stretchmarks that had bloomed from growing a new life in the comfort of their own bed.
Lucy was officially on maternity leave at thirty-six weeks pregnant, she had argued that she could keep going but John pushed back, convincing her that his blood pressure would plummet if he knew she could go into labour when doing a psych evaluation on a patient.
To say that Lucy was bored on maternity leave was an understatement. Abby would come over after a shift or her days off to entertain Lucy, whether that be watching movies all day and listening to the music they both loved to help Lucy nest, folding tiny clothes and putting them into drawers.
Abby bought the baby's first outfit, claiming that all the gender neutral clothing was boring so she picked a boy and girl outfit.
During maternity leave, Lucy was informed of Mark Greene's passing and grief that hit her was immediate. Mark was the first person that was patient with Lucy during her first day at County and had remained kind to her throughout.
Then, one night when John was already in bed propped up against the headboard with a book in hand and Lucy was flitting in and out of the room, getting ready for bed, a sudden wave of pain hit making Lucy stop in her tracks and wince in pain.
John shot up immediately, going to help Lucy into bed and assess her, Lucy’s water broke all over the carpet. She shrieked and John paled, before calmly deciding that it would be wise to go to the hospital.
“But people are in labour with their firsts for a long time, we don’t need to leave immediately.” Lucy argued. John shook his head, running to grab the diaper bag from the spare-room-turned-baby’s-room.
“Everyone’s different, Lucy. You should know, we’ve both seen people’s labour progress really fast.” John argued back. Lucy grumbled before nodding.
John called ahead, letting Jerry know that Lucy was in labour and to inform the people that were working.
John got Lucy to the hospital in ten minutes when it should’ve been twenty minutes, bursting through the emergency room doors. Lucy's cheeks heated up in embarrassment at his anxiety, hanging back and pretending like she didn't know who John was.
Luka brought Lucy into an empty trauma room to check her, he ushered Abby and Jing-Mei over so that they could confirm what he was seeing. Abby’s eyes widened.
“What? Why are you widening your eyes, Abby!” Lucy exclaimed, praying to God that there was nothing wrong.
“You’re already seven centimetres dilated." Abby said confidently. “What?!” Lucy and Carter said in unison, an expression of horror was clear on both of their faces.
“I’m afraid you’re giving birth here…” Jing-Mei winced. “No…. I can’t be!” Lucy exclaimed before groaning in pain as another contraction hit.
“Let’s do this, Knight.” Luka said with an air of confidence. Lucy let her head slam back onto the bed in frustration, she was absolutely mortified that Luka would be the one delivering her baby but she decided not to deal with that mentally right now.
After an hour and a half of agonising pain and mortification, a wail cut the thick tension in the air in half.
Millie Florence Carter made her dramatic entrance into the world on August 20th 2002 surrounded by an outpouring of love from everyone in the room.
She was named after John and Lucy’s grandmothers, two people that they both adored. Lucy was sure of naming Millie after John's grandmother from the start. But, made the argument that although she loved classic timeless names, that Millicent was a bit too old, so they made the compromise with Millie.
“You did it,” John whispered, resting his forehead against Lucy’s as they stared down at their perfect baby girl who was lying on Lucy’s chest.
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“Millie, you’re going to help mommy with this banana bread okay? Do you promise that you’ll be so good and listen to mommy?” Lucy asked, silently praying that her now four year old daughter would listen to her.
“I promise, mommy! I’ll make the banana bread taste so delicious!” Millie exclaimed, jumping up and down on the spot.
“I bet you will, baby.” Lucy smiled fondly, Millie raised her arms for Lucy to lift her up. Lucy lifted Millie up, placing her onto the countertop so that she could see everything that Lucy was doing.
Millie was the perfect mix of John and Lucy, she had John's dark brown hair that cascaded in delicate waves down her back, her hair quite long for a four year old. But, Millie had Lucy’s striking blue eyes. Her face was a mix of everything that John and Lucy loved about each other .
But, Millie’s personality was so Lucy. She had Lucy’s sharpness and wit, never failing to take John by surprise whenever she said something that he could imagine coming out of Lucy’s mouth. But, Millie was sensitive like her mother, her feelings were too big for her little body and it took a lot of reassurance and snuggles from her parents for Millie to feel okay again.
Millicent passed away when Millie was only a year old, but John never failed to remind Millie of her namesake by showing her photos and sharing stories to keep Millicent’s memory alive, and that Millie would never forget the strong, self-assured woman she was named after.
A soft cry pulled Lucy from her thoughts as Millie’s head also snapped up.
“I’m just going to check on your sister and then I'll be right back!” Lucy promised to hurry into the living room.
Lucy and John found out they were expecting again earlier in the year, they always thought they were one and done but a new baby was a very nice surprise. Millie was over the moon at getting a sibling, she had begged for so long.
Clara Isabella Carter made her appearance on October 6th 2006, in a calmer manner than her older sister.
Lucy lifted Clara out of the bassinet that was in the living room and held her against her chest, rocking on her feet and bouncing up and down to soothe Clara back to sleep as she had just been fed and changed minutes prior.
Clara settled down, falling back into sleep with her tiny mouth hanging open in content. Lucy placed her back into her bassinet and hurried back into the kitchen to be with Millie.
“Mommy can I put the ingredients in the bowl now, I’ve been really patient!” Millie reasoned, as Lucy mashed up the bananas and waited on the butter melting in the microwave. “In a minute!” Lucy exclaimed.
The microwave dinged and Lucy pulled out the melted butter that was in a pyrex jug, Millie went to grab for the jug with both hands but Lucy pulled it away. “It’s really hot, sweetheart. Grab it by the handle and pour it into the bowl, do you think you could do that?”
Millie nodded eagerly, her two little hands grabbing at the handle gently and poured the butter into the bowl.
The remainder of the hour went by like that, Lucy handing Millie ingredients and Millie being determined to get everything in the bowl without any mess. Lucy chuckled at how much of a perfectionist her daughter was, she had no idea where she inherited that trait from.
“You did such a good job! I have to put this in the oven now, but remember the oven is very hot.” Lucy explained, lifting the pan up to slide it into the oven.
“I’ll stand back!” Millie exclaimed, climbing up onto one of the chairs that was at their kitchen table, watching Lucy’s every move thoughtfully.
“Where’s Daddy?” Millie asked as she moved to gather up her paper and pens to draw. “Remember Daddy’s at work, but he should be home any minute.” Lucy reassured Millie, placing a hand on her daughter's hair and smoothing it down.
The girls moved into the living room, where Millie took her position on the floor, drawing a picture and Lucy turned on the TV catching up on her favourite shows.
The door clicked open moments later, which Millie perked up at.
“Where are my favourite girls in the entire world!” John exclaimed, making his presence known as he walked into the living room.
“I missed you!” Millie squealed, bounding towards her father as John lifted her up into his arms like she was a baby again.
“Were you good for your mommy today?” John asked, booping Millie’s little button nose. Millie turned to face Lucy expectantly before Lucy said “She’s been an angel as always.”
Millie grinned cheekily as Lucy walked towards her and planted a kiss on her cheek while John kissed the other. Lucy then went on her tip toes and pecked John on the lips.
“Am I really an angel?!” Millie said excitedly, as John placed her down. “Of course, my darling girl.” John smiled.
Millie went over to her dollhouse that was placed in the corner of the room and played happily. She had insisted that her dollhouse be put in the living room instead of her own room even though it was big enough.
John went over to the bassinet and lifted Clara out, nestling her into the crook of his arm. John sit down carefully on the couch next to Lucy, Lucy placed her head on his shoulder and stared down at Clara who was now wide awake.
Clara looked exactly like John; it was uncanny. She had soft tufts of brown hair like her sister, dark brown eyes like John and even the slope of her little nose was exactly like John's. Seeing John and Clara together was like seeing double. Although Clara was only still a newborn, the resemblance was there.
Lucy was convinced that her DNA had no involvement in the creation of Clara whatsoever. “She’s the spit of you,” Lucy said, stroking her finger on Clara’s cheek.
“I hope she grows up to have your personality.” John smiled, looking down at Lucy. “Considering Millie already has my personality, are you sure you could deal with a third Lucy Knight?” Lucy laughed softly.
“I could deal with a hundred more Lucy Knights and never get sick of them.” John said genuinely. “Fatherhood has turned you soft.” Lucy laughed and John shrugged.
Lucy took in the sight before her, how her living room came to life before her with her beautiful children and doting partner, just like she always dreamed.
Back when Millie was only two, John and Lucy both knew it was time to move, as Millie grew bigger the space got smaller.
John surprised Lucy with a beautiful brownstone that was near the hospital and Lucy actually cried real happy tears when he showed her the place and it was perfect.
“I miss Auntie Abby and Uncle Luka,” Millie said from her spot on the floor. “When can I see them again?”
“Soon baby, Abby will probably stop by with baby Joe through the week.” Lucy said reassuringly. “Can Joe play Barbie’s with me yet?” Millie asked.
“Remember he is still only a baby, sweetheart, just like Clara.” John said and Millie nodded in understanding. “Okay… When can Uncle Luka play Barbie’s with me?” Millie asked.
Lucy and John laughed as the memories of Millie’s fourth birthday party, a couple months back came flooding back to them. Luka sat on the floor entertaining Millie, while Abby sat with a newborn Joe in her arms chatting with a pregnant Lucy and protective John.
Millie had been asking after Luka more often as he always put on silly voices whenever he played with her barbie’s, making her throw her head back in laughter.
“He might visit along with Abby and Joe.” Lucy reassured once again, Millie nodded and went back to playing with her dolls. Lucy always chuckled as she listened in on Millie’s little stories that she made with her dolls and how ridiculously Millie they were.
Lucy and John watched TV for a little longer while Millie continued to play and Lucy fed Clara.
“It’s bedtime for Miss Millie Moo!” John exclaimed, swooping Millie up in his arms as she squirmed and wriggled around.
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John's insomnia had been playing up again more recently, which was partly good because he done the night feeds for Clara but it was also bad because when he did sleep, it was only for an hour or two before he had to be up early for work.
John was laying on his back in bed, darkness engulfing the room and the only sound that could be heard was Lucy’s soft snores and Clara’s light breathing. Clara hadn’t woken up in a couple of hours so John tossed and turned since.
John turned towards Lucy, closing his eyes and willing sleep to come to him but failing.
He heard the sounds of soft footsteps slapping against the hardwood floors that he knew was Millie, he turned around towards the door so that Millie knew he was awake.
John observed Millie’s small frame, she was dressed in soft pink Sleeping Beauty pyjamas with Lucy’s childhood unicorn stuffie clutched firmly in her tight grip, her hair wild like his was after a good sleep.
“Daddy…” Millie whispered, stepping closer to the bed. “Yeah, sweetheart?” John questioned. He saw Millie mustering up the courage to ask him something.
“Can… Can I sleep in with you and Mommy?” She asked shyly, pulling the unicorn stuffie closer to her chest. “Of course,” John whispered, pulling Millie up onto the bed and planting her into the space between him and Lucy.
Millie hadn’t slept next to John and Lucy in years, so he was thrilled that his first baby wasn’t growing up as fast as he thought. “Nightmare?” He whispered.
“Nightmare.” Millie echoed, snuggling in closer to his warm chest. John pulled the loose strands of hair out of her face, stroking her forehead gently and in between her eyes, an old trick he did when she was a baby to get Millie to sleep.
John saw Lucy stir from beside him, peeling her eyes open. “Are you alright?” Lucy asked Millie in hushed tones.
“I had a nightmare.” Millie frowned. “Oh, angel.” Lucy sighed, throwing an arm protectively over Millie’s middle. She planted a kiss in Millie’s hair and snuggled her cheek against it.
Not too soon after, Millie’s breathing evened out and that’s how they knew she was asleep.
“I missed this,” Lucy pouted as she breathed in Millie’s unique scent, fiddling with the soft fabric of her pyjamas. John nodded in agreement, they stayed silent a while looking at their girl.
“Lucy, do you realise this is everything we’ve ever wanted?” John spoke up. “I do.” Lucy nodded.
“Everything turned out alright in the end.” John said he wasn’t sure if he was reassuring himself of that fact or not. “It was always going to.” Lucy said.
“They healed our wounds,” Lucy said finally. “Yeah….” John trailed off before sleep fell over Lucy again and John drifted off effortlessly for the first time in weeks.