Chapter Text
**Gareth’s pov**
The mansion had never felt this quiet.
Not because it actually was.
Somewhere inside, Killian was probably yelling at someone. Vaughn was definitely laughing. Nikolai was almost certainly insulting someone with frightening eloquence.
The house was alive.
I just…
Couldn’t hear any of it.
I sat alone in one of the deck chairs overlooking the gardens, a bottle of beer dangling lazily from my hand.
The sun had disappeared hours ago, leaving only the glow of the outdoor fireplace and the faint chirping of insects.
Everything should’ve been peaceful.
Instead, my chest felt like someone had tied bricks to it.
Killian knew.
Everything had fallen apart the moment he’d found out about Kayden.
One second we’d been trying to explain ourselves.
The next…
Killian had launched himself across the room like an angry missile.
I still couldn’t believe Kayden had just stood there and taken every punch.
He could’ve fought back.
He didn’t.
Maybe because he knew he deserved it.
Maybe because hurting Killian would’ve hurt me more.
I took another drink.
The beer tasted awful.
I drank it anyway.
Human beings had a remarkable habit of consuming things they didn’t enjoy simply because suffering apparently counted as a personality trait.
I heard footsteps crunch against the gravel path.
Slow.
Unhurried.
I didn’t bother looking up.
“If you’re Killian,” I muttered, “I’m not in the mood.”
“I’m not.”
Jeremy.
I finally lifted my head.
He walked into the firelight wearing a dark hoodie with the sleeves pushed halfway up his forearms. One hand held a bottle of Coke.
Trust Jeremy to bring Coca-Cola to an emotional crisis.
He stopped beside me.
“You good?”
I laughed.
Not because anything was funny.
“Do I look good?”
“No.”
“…Fair.”
Without another word, he sat in the empty chair beside mine.
Neither of us spoke for a while.
Jeremy cracked open his Coke.
I took another sip of beer.
The fire crackled softly between us.
“So…” Jeremy finally said.
“So.”
“You and Kayden.”
“…Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.”
That surprised me.
Jeremy wasn’t exactly known for comforting people.
He usually stared at emotional situations until they became someone else’s responsibility.
“Thanks.”
Silence settled again.
Then, before I could stop myself, the question slipped out.
“Have you ever been in a secret relationship?”
Jeremy answered immediately.
“Yes.”
Too quickly.
I turned to look at him.
He stared straight ahead.
Not at me.
Not at the fire.
Just…
Ahead.
“I don’t mean Cecily.”
That earned me a glance.
“What you two had barely counted as secret.”
Jeremy didn’t reply.
The silence stretched.
His fingers tightened slightly around the Coke bottle.
Then…
“…Yes.”
His voice was quieter this time.
“I have.”
I blinked.
“What?”
“I was in a secret relationship.”
“When?”
“When we first came to the island.”
My eyebrows climbed.
“You never told anyone.”
“I know.”
“Who was she?”
Jeremy looked almost amused.
“He.”
I nearly dropped my beer.
“…He?”
Jeremy nodded once.
“He.”
I stared at him.
“You…”
“I’m straight.”
“…You literally just said—”
“He was the exception.”
“…”
“…”
“…I have so many questions.”
“So do I.”
I laughed despite myself.
“You really expect me to move past that?”
“No.”
“Good.”
I shifted in my chair.
“So…”
Jeremy sighed.
“You’re not going to stop.”
“Absolutely not.”
Another long pause.
Then…
“He was…”
Jeremy smiled.
It wasn’t a big smile.
Barely even noticeable.
But it transformed his entire face.
“He was the most beautiful person I’d ever met.”
I stayed quiet.
His eyes reflected the fire.
“Blue eyes.”
A tiny smile.
“Brown hair.”
Another.
“The most infuriatingly arrogant smirk you’ve ever seen.”
I couldn’t help smiling too.
“You really loved him.”
The smile disappeared.
“…Yes.”
There wasn’t even a second of hesitation.
Just…
Yes.
It sounded terrifyingly honest.
I looked down at my beer.
“Did he love you?”
Jeremy laughed.
It wasn’t happy.
“He doesn’t know how.”
I frowned.
“What does that mean?”
“He’s a narcissist.”
“…”
“…That’s harsh.”
“It’s true.”
I thought for a moment.
The only person I knew who fit that description…
No.
Surely not.
Jeremy continued before I could ask.
“He had my whole heart.”
His voice had become almost distant.
“I couldn’t sleep unless he was beside me.”
The fire popped.
“After we broke up…”
He swallowed.
“I stopped sleeping again.”
I didn’t interrupt.
“Cecily helped.”
A sad smile crossed his face.
“But she never replaced him.”
I looked at him.
“He’d look at me like…”
Jeremy searched for the words.
“…Like I was the only person in the room.”
He laughed quietly.
“He designed some of my tattoos.”
That surprised me.
“He drew?”
“He was terrible.”
“You let him design tattoos?”
“I loved him.”
“…Fair.”
Jeremy smiled faintly.
“Somewhere on me…”
He looked down at his forearm.
“…His initials are still there.”
“You never covered them?”
“I couldn’t.”
“…”
“I still eat his favorite snacks.”
“…”
“I taught him chess because he loved to challenge me.”
“…”
“Sometimes he’d text me that he missed me…”
Jeremy smiled to himself.
“…Even if we’d seen each other thirty minutes earlier.”
I didn’t know what to say.
It was obvious.
Painfully obvious.
He wasn’t talking about someone he’d gotten over.
He was talking about someone he still carried with him every day.
“Do you still love him?”
Jeremy didn’t answer immediately.
His gaze remained fixed on the flames.
“…Yes.”
Barely a whisper.
“If he came back tomorrow…”
I asked carefully.
“…Would you take him back?”
The silence lasted so long I wondered if he’d heard me.
Then…
“Yes.”
His shoulders slumped.
“But…”
He gave a tiny, defeated smile.
“He’d never ask.”
I felt my chest tighten.
“Who is he?”
Jeremy shook his head.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does.”
“No.”
“It clearly does.”
He looked at me.
Really looked at me.
“You’ll keep it between us?”
“You have my word.”
He studied me for another few seconds.
As though deciding whether I could really be trusted.
Finally…
He nodded.
Then quietly spoke two words that turned my entire world upside down.
“Landon King.”
Everything inside me stopped.
The beer bottle nearly slipped from my fingers.
“…What?”
Jeremy looked away.
“You heard me.”
“No.”
I stood so abruptly the chair scraped across the stone patio.
“No.”
Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck.
“…I figured that would be your reaction.”
“Landon?”
“The same one.”
“The narcissistic, insufferable, impossible Landon King?”
Jeremy sighed.
“He’s not impossible.”
I stared at him in complete disbelief.
Then, before I could stop myself, I laughed.
Not because it was funny.
Because it was so utterly, spectacularly absurd.
Killian would have a heart attack.
Nikolai would think it was a practical joke.
Vaughn would never let either of them live it down.
And Jeremy…
Jeremy was sitting beside me with eyes full of a love he’d never managed to bury.
For the first time since Kayden had walked away…
My own heartbreak didn’t feel quite so lonely.
Because somehow…
Jeremy had been carrying his in silence for years.