Work Text:
Opening: in the garage, Hanbon and Will sit on the couch Anthony is behind the camera, Coy stands in front of the presentation TV.
COY
Guys sit down, Okay-
WILL (Panning to him)
Is that our faces over pictures of the Muppets.
COY
Yeah because they’re a bunch of friends like us.
ANTHONY
Why am I the red one- the crazy one.
COY
Because You look the most like him
Anthony flips the camera around and yell/growls into it before being cut off.
COY
who loves Puppets!
Hanbon and Will raise their hands.
COY
Puppet shows, we split into 2 teams and do puppet shows, whoever makes the best puppet show gets, muppet caricatures.
Slide show goes to an Etsy site that sells muppet caricatures.
HANBON
We can become Muppets!
ANTHONY
are you going to be the pig one?
HANBON (getting up and running to the Neal Mohan portrait at the back wall with Anthony following)
No I’ll be Gonzo, do you think Neal wants to be Muppets with us?
WILL (hugging the portrait)
Neal, what's your favorite muppet?
ANTHONY
Turns out that’s our burning question-
COY (getting up close to camera)
But for our real question, Neal we’re waiting for you, email us at IAmTheCEOOfYouTube.com Also you guys need to get started. It’s puppet Tiiiiime!
ANTHONY
Ow that was loud.
Intro sequence, ends with episode title “We Put On A Puppet Show.”
Coy and Will are now upstairs in the kitchen with a laptop open on the table.
COY
What kind of story do we want to tell?
WIll(typing what he says into a google doc on the computer.
What about… Green guy, Marries a pig.
COY
No, that’s just the muppets.
WILL
… Oh.
Meanwhile Hanbon and Anthony in front of the desktop in the garage. Hanbon is on Pinterest looking at sock puppets.
HANBON
Look Anthony we can make our puppets out of socks. That one looks like Coy.
ANTHONY
I have an idea. Do you remember when they murdered Gal. Gal Waters.
HANBON
On the mountain yeah?
ANTHONY
She deserves a memorial.
HANBON
The tragedy of Gal Waters (searching water jug on Pinterest)
ANTHONY
Why do we need that?
HANBON
I don’t know, can you make a gallon of water with a sock?
(Switching to) WILL
What If we do a biography,
COY
Like… Martin Luther King JR.
WILL
That’s the first person you can think of? We can’t do a Martin Luther King show, we’re gonna mess that up.
COY
No your right... Wait!… Neal! A biography puppet play for Neal Mohan!
WILL
The CEO of YouTube!
(Switching too) HANBON (On Pinterest looking at more sock puppets)
🎶My name is GAaaAL Waaaters🎶
ANTHONY
Please we can’t do a musical.
HANBON (reaching down and taking a sock off.)
Gal wants to sing. Like Hamilton
ANTHONY
We have 20 minutes, I'm the only one typing this right now. We can’t do Gal Waters Hamilton. (Hanbon pokes him with the sock) Dont touch me with that!
(Switching too) COY (typing on phone)
We need to actually know what Neal did.
WILL
he's the CEO of YouTube.
COY
But before that.
WILL
We’re gonna take some guesses. (Types into google docs "Dinosaur hunter”)
(Switching too) Anthony
They’re gonna regret what they did, this play will ruin their reputations and Gal will live on as the greatest friend! (Laughs Evily over dramatically.)
HANBON (holding a sock as a puppet, mimics his laugh)
ANTHONY
Join me, in avenging her, lost at such a young age!
HANBON
For Gal!
Jump to the 4 of them standing outside a crafts store holding shopping bags
ALL 4
(Slightly deadpan) We got puppet supplies.
Jump to both teams are back in the garage and Kitchen with their supplies.
ANTHONY (pulling a wooden frame with a curtain on it that’s elevated on a table)
This is where we perform.
HANBON
Aww it’s so cute.
The printer under the computer starts making noises, Will and Coy walk
Into the garage,
HANBON
What are you guys making
WILL
Puppets, secret puppets.
ANTHONY
Paper puppets are for p*ssies. We have Socks!
COY
Okay okay, well the best puppet show will be decided upon later by our judge, let's just say, he’s an expert in puppets.
HANBON
Jim Henson?!!
ANTHONY
No he’s dead.
HANBON
…What??
Jump to Coy and Will upstairs in the kitchen cutting out their puppets.
WILL (holding a paper cut out image of Neal Mohan)
Look Neal we made you! (Kisses the paper)
COY
Oh we can’t keep that in the video.
Jump to Coy using hot glue gun on popsicle stick and paper cut out dinosaur image.
COY
Ow Ow! f*ck!…
WILL
Did the dinosaur bite you?
COY
No I got burnt, can we use Elmer’s glue or something else instead?
Will reaches out for scissors but accidentally knocks the camera tripod over.
(Switching to in garage) HANBON
My sock is pink like my outdoor suit.
ANTHONY (Holding sock puppet)
This looks just like Will.
HANBON (Laughing)
Oh my god it does! Wait, what if The Gal Waters puppet is always wet, because she’s the water.
ANTHONY
So one of us has a wet hand the entire puppet show.
HANBON
Yeah... (puts finger on nose)
ANTHONY
Come on-
Sudden black screen and text that reads “Show Time.” with a jaunty tune playing
Ricky Downes III stands in the garage, his name is labeled on him with the word “Judge” written. He reads a piece of paper.
RICKY (reading off paper)
Today is the day of the prestigious Puppet show competition, in which 2 teams will be competing for the chance to win a Muppet caricature… (looking up) it says here Hannah Bondalo credit card number should I read that-?
HANBON
No!!
WILL bends down laughing.
Jump to Ricky, Anthony and Hanbon sat down on the couch in front of the puppet show box clapping. The lights dim, The Jurassic park theme plays from behind the curtains which open up to reveal Neal Mohan paper cut out on a stick.
WILL (with a deeper voice)
It is I, Neal Mohan-
HANBON and ANTHONY
NEAL!!
Ricky looks at them with a little discomfort and confusion.
WILL (cont)
Once upon a time, I was a young boy… (Neal pops down and a colorful hat with a whirling thing sticker is put on him.) I was developing my greatest talents, The problem was I was good at everything.
COY (holding dinosaur cut out)
(Roars) Neal! I challenge you to a duel.
WILL
Hah! I can defeat any dinosaur. (Jurassic Park music increases)
The 2 papers hit each other for a second and then Coy throws the dinosaur out of the puppet box. Ricky puts his hand on his chin, frowning a little.
WILL
And so (pulls the sticker off Neal) as I grew older I stopped being a boy of adventure (Jurassic park music stops) and became a man of business (Coy throws dollars bills into the air above them). I worked to become the greatest entertainer ever, the CEO of YouTube itself. (Coy puts the paper cut out YouTube logo above). Neal Mohan wants you to know, that he loves you and believes in you, be like Neal Mohan. (The curtains close).
Hanbon claps slowly
ANTHONY
That was terrible.
COY (Emerging)
That was the real and great history of Neal Mohan
ANTHONY
Why was there a dinosaur?!
WILL(Emerging)
Did you not read about Neal being the worlds greatest dinosaur hunter?
HANBON
Yeah Anthony, how could you not know?
ANTHONY
Wha-Ah-You're supposed to be defending me.
RICKY
Yeah Anthony, how did you forget about dinosaurs?
ANTHONY
Wha… who even are you!
Jump to Ricky, Coy, and Will sitting on the couch.
WILL (pointing to the bucket of water next to the puppet stage)
(laughing) Why do you have a bucket of water?
COY
Shh, we’re in the theater,
The lights dim. Hanbon and Anthony sock puppets appear.
HANBON
It sure is a nice day to be taking a TV up the side of a mountain.
ANTHONY
Yes, hiking is so fun.
HANBON
Who’s that over there! (Anthony’s other hand brings the wet Gal Waters sock puppet out.)
WILL (chuckling)
Why is it wet?
ANTHONY
My name is Gal, Gal Waters. Gal Waters, that's a beautiful name. Do you want to come along with us on our adventure. Yes I do.
HANBON
Yay!
WILL
What have we done to him (Coy shushes him)
The three sock puppets get pulled down and Anthony dons the Coy and Will sock puppets.
ANTHONY
I am Coy, and someones sticking their hand up my a*ss
COY
What the f*ck Anthony!!
ANTHONY
And I’m Will and my voice sounds like this.
WILL
No it doesn’t
ANTHONY
Look at Anthony over there, he’s so happy. He’s with his new friend Gal Waters. We can’t let him be happy, we can’t let him get away from us. I have an idea. What’s your idea? We kill Gal and make Anthony stay with us forever. (Hanbon appears with the Anthony and Gal Waters puppet.)
WILL
How many puppets is Anthony holding?
RICKY
All of them, he appears to be the master of puppets
HANBON(sticking head over the table of the stage)
I’m down here too! (Gets pulled down by Anthony, Shrieks.)
Anthony pulls out a toy car and puts the Coy Puppet on it.
ANTHONY
This is it for you Gal Waters. Oh no Gal!
HANBON
Gal look out!
Anthony winds up the car and lets it drive across the table into Hanbons Gal Waters hand.
HANBON
Ow, Anthony!
ANTHONY
Look what you’ve done! Gal is dead my imagination is destroyed. Oh no, we just wanted to help you stay with us. Yeah we wanted you to be our friend. We didn’t mean to hurt you. Aww I forgive you guys.. Just kidding!
Hanbons Anthony puppet attacks the Coy and Will puppets,
ANTHONY
Long live Gal Waters, and death to those who oppose her.
Hanbon accidentally knocks the curtain rod off, which falls and some of the curtain falls in the bucket.
RICKY
That looked like it was going to end sweetly… then it didn’t.
WILL
So what we f*cking die?
ANTHONY
Yeah.
COY
Anthony, we're sorry okay. Please don’t murder us in our sleep.
Swiping transition to Ricky in front of puppet stage, all 4 on the couch.
RICKY
After careful consideration of both… interesting productions, I have decided that based on merit for story and design, The Tragedy of Gall Waters wins for best puppet show.
Anthony and Hanbon start jumping and cheering. Hanbon starts aggressively pushing him on the shoulder.
ANTHONY
No stop doing that!
WILL (standing up)
that doesn’t even make sense, we did dinosaurs and Neal Mohan. You did a, a jug of water.
ANTHONY (walking sternly in his direction)
What did you say about her!!?
WILL
Aehh-
The screen freezes as Will jumps, darkening and showing the drawn caricatures of Anthony and Hanbon as Muppets.
The end.