Work Text:
The evening after the 4SHOBOSHOW workshop trip, everyone was pooped. Despite the long nap on the coach bus, the physical exhaustion hung on their shoulders. Upon arriving at their dorm, Woojin immediately dropped his bags and bolted to the shower, Louis, on his phone, waiting in line. Ryul gravitated towards their new computer setup; meanwhile, Ohyul sat in the communal living area, scrolling mindlessly.
Time passed, Ohyul kept scrolling, and their own LNGSHOT channel’s reel came up, a clip from one of their previous episodes. A wave of anxiety washed over him. He realized he cried on camera for this shoot. Ohyul does not believe in toxic masculinity traits, nor does the rest of the team. Still, it felt so embarrassing to be the only one who visibly looked so emotionally distressed.
A cold sweat started accumulating. Negative thoughts spiraled in his mind.
What type of leader cries? You just debuted, no one is going to think you're capable.
You’re not brave at all.
No one can rely on a leader who’s so emotional.
Then something warm streamed down his face, tears again. The exhaustion, the stress, and the lack of self-esteem flowed down. The crying wasn’t an ugly sob, but it was enough to make someone notice.
And in a peaceful dorm, everyone noticed. Woojin coincidentally emerged from the shower, hair wet. All heads turned to where the leader sat.
“Ohyul?”
“Ohyul Hyung?” The maknaes asked simultaneously.
A large sniffle, “Sorry, something came over me. Don’t worry about it.”
“Something’s wrong, Ohyul. It’s ok to cry, we’re here for you. What’s wrong?” Ryul asked calmly.
The members made their way to the leader. Woojin and Louis sat beside Ohyul, while Ryul sat across from him. The warmth of the members made Ohyul feel so grateful, tears kept coming down.
“Louis, get the tissues,” Ryul ordered. Louis obediently listened.
“Thank you, Louis.” Ohyul muffled, blowing his nose. The members waited patiently for him to start talking.
“It's actually really stupid. I felt embarrassed by crying on camera. I just want to make an excuse because of the wind. I don’t want the Shotties to think I’m some weak leader when the episode airs. I-I didn’t feel like a leader at that moment. I felt so ashamed that I wasn't brave like Ryul or Woojin. It feels like I’m going to be made fun of online for crying. I know it's such a dumb thing to cry over. I know our fans won’t think like that, please, it's ok-”
“You’re such an amazing leader,” Woojin interrupted. “You were so brave for doing something you absolutely hated. You overcame your nervousness, and you were crying ‘cause it got sentimental.”
“It's ok to be scared; I was too scared to jump,” Louis added on, trying to do his best to comfort.
“You don’t like to show your weaknesses in front of us -especially in front of the kids- crying does not make you weak, Ohyul. You are so strong, doing so much for us, taking care of us when we're in need, and taking care of other things when we're not around. I could go on for hours, which means you mean so much more than some stranger's opinion that we don't even know since the episode hasn't aired.”
The maknaes nodded their heads in agreement with Ryul's words. Woojin leaned in and gave a side hug, Louis awkwardly did the same. Ryul reached out to Ohyul's forearm, rubbing in soothing circles.
Ohyul smiled, heart growing full. He was so grateful to have these people as part of his team, his own little family, he wouldn't trade it for the world.
He puffed, “Thank you guys, you mean so much to me. I feel much more relieved. Thank you again. Sorry for the delay, it's late. Let's all go to bed. Louis, go shower now.”
“We'll be here for you, Hyung,” Louis perked.
The maknaes let go of the embrace, each member gave Ohyul a quiet dap-up before they left to do their own things.
<~>
Ryul opened Ohyul's dorm room, closing the door with a metallic click. “Hey, wanted to check up on you.”
Ohyul was lying down on his bed, phone in hand again, this time replying to texts. “Hm? Oh, hi Ryul. I'm doing better, thank you for asking, but you don't need to do that.”
Ryul approached and sat at the edge of the bed. He reached out for Ohyul's soft hair, rustling it.
“I know, I just don't want to see your pretty face crying by yourself.”
“I'm not pretty,” Ohyul protested.
“You are to me,” the other smirked.
Ohyul could only roll his eyes. Ryul chuckled. He leaned down and gave Ohyul a small kiss. Their lips slotted naturally against one another's. The kiss was brief, but comforting.
Ryul made a gesture to scoot over. Ohyul obliged, placing his phone on the nightstand and rolling on his side so the other could snuggle closely next to him.
Ryul's chin was on the boy's head, and his arms were lazily wrapped around his waist. They stayed in that position, in comfortable silence. A mutual understanding to savour the rare and quiet times they have together.
Ryul broke the peaceful silence with a whisper.
“You remember that we love you, right?”
Ohyul perked his head up, his eyes meeting Ryul's, who gazed with such fondness.
“I know that. Even if the youngsters don't say it directly.”
“That's good.”
Ohyul furrowed his brows in confusion, “Why ask that?”
“You needed that reminder. We love you so much, and I love you so much, a stranger's shitty comment isn't going to break my leader. Our fans love you for who you are. Being emotional means you're human.”
Ohyul hummed in response. Feeling more grateful to have Ryul by his side on this journey that they share. His own rock against the waves of negativity.
“Thanks.”
“And you're welcome.”
Ryul peppered him with kisses. On the forehead, the cheeks, and the lips. The kisses made the boy giggle, one of Ryul's favourite sounds.
“Let's sleep like this,” said Ryul with a soft grin.
“Your arm is going to go numb if we sleep like this. At least put your arm on the pillow.”
“Okay, okay.”
Ryul took his left arm - which was originally under Ohyul's body- now propped on top of Ohyul's head. Ryul smiled, a leader doing his job in the after-hours.
“Goodnight.” Ryul pecked his forehead one last time.
“Goodnight.”