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We Can't Even Think of a Word That Rhymes

Summary:

Sequel to How I Spent My Summer Vacation (and Other Myths). Kurt and Puck return to Lima from their summer learning to be Hunters with the Winchesters and have some trouble adjusting to "normal" life. It doesn't help that Blaine still transferred to McKinley and is causing them grief over the direction of the glee club. At least the upcoming benefit concert will give them a chance to bring the Winchesters to Lima. Of course, when the Winchesters are involved, nothing is ever easy...

Notes:

Thanks to Proxydialogue for being the best Beta-Under-Fire ever!
Thanks to emilywritescrap for her KICKASS art!! (also last minute under-fire because she's awesome)
Thanks to Raving_Liberal and Patchfire, whose work has inspired SO MUCH about the way I think of Glee, that I have a habit of mistaking their canon for show canon. (BTW, if you haven't read their SOTB, finish this, then go read ALL OF THAT). Without you both, I never would have done this Bang.

Chapter 1: Coming Home: Kurt

Chapter Text


Kurt pulled up to Puck’s apartment building, parking the Nav in the passenger seat. Puck didn’t move, his hood pulled over his head and his hands jammed in his pockets. Kurt leaned over, looking out Puck’s window at the building. He glanced at Puck, and Puck met his eyes. Kurt arched an eyebrow.

“You okay?” Kurt asked. “You’ve been quiet since we hit Ohio.”

Puck sighed. “I don’t want to go in there.”

Kurt didn’t have to ask why; Puck had told him enough about his home life that Kurt had a pretty good idea, anyway. Before Kurt could say anything, Puck scoffed.

“Look at me. Badass Leviathan killer, and I’m afraid to go into my own place.” Puck shook his head. “Some badass.”

“Hey, now,” Kurt said, bumping Puck’s shoulder. “None of that. You are a badass. You saved my life, remember?”

Puck smiled, not quite his full cocky grin but close. “I seem to remember you doing some of that saving.”

“That’s because your boyfriend is also a badass,” Kurt said. That made Puck grin.

“Fuck yeah, you are,” he said. Puck reached up to cup the back of Kurt’s head, pulling them together for a tender kiss. It was the kind of kiss that Kurt wouldn’t have associated with Puck before this year, before he had seen Puck’s deliberate deconstruction of the persona he had created for himself as a bully/jock. Still, Kurt had seen it, had witnessed the lengths that Puck was willing to go to for Beth, and while his actions may have been misplaced, his heart wasn’t. It made Puck a formidable Hunter.

Kurt hummed into the kiss and Puck deepened it with a swipe of his tongue. Grinning, Kurt wrestled with him. Puck had a softer side that didn’t lessen his sexual appetite, and Kurt was reaping the benefits. The many, many benefits.

God, the things that boy could do with his mouth

Kurt pulled away, gently biting Puck’s lip and pulling it with him. Puck leaned forward, chasing Kurt’s mouth, and Kurt grinned. “You don’t have to go home, yet,” he said.

“I don’t,” Puck agreed.

“We could always…go somewhere,” Kurt said.

“I like somewhere,” Puck said.

Kurt grinned and sat back. “Yeah, I thought you might.” He turned the Nav back on and drove out to the city limits and the various back roads that afforded young couples parent-less privacy. They could steal a few more hours just for them.

***

The sun was just starting to set when Kurt drove the Nav back to the main road. His now imperfect hair was hidden under his had, and he knew his lips must be swollen. His skin was flushed and there was a satiated angle to the slant of his eyes that screamed, “I just had mind-blowing semi-public sex with my boyfriend and I feel fine.” For his part, Puck looked much the same.

This time, when Kurt parked his car, Puck slid out of the passenger seat, and Kurt went to open the back hatch to help Puck get his things. Duffle bag over his shoulder and guitar in hand, Puck leaned in to steal one last kiss. He disappeared into the building with a promise to text Kurt later.

Kurt climbed back into the Nav and drove home.

The garage door was open when Kurt pulled into the driveway, and the hood was popped on Finn’s truck. The floodlights were on, and a Kurt could see the glow from a hanging spot lamp from the side of the hood. Burt and Finn poked their heads up from the engine when Kurt parked the Nav and climbed out of the car.

Burt grinned, wiping his hands off on a rag as he walked over to his Kurt and opened his arms. “Hey, kid! Welcome home!’ Kurt grinned and hugged his dad tightly.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Hey Kurt!” Finn called, waving his hand but not trying to come closer. Judging by the grease stains on the front of Finn’s coveralls, it was a wise decision.

“Hi, Finn.”

“How was the drive?” Burt asked, stepping back.

“Long,” Kurt said, shrugging. “No problems.”

“Good,” Burt said. “I was worried about you making that drive by yourself.”

Well, Kurt thought, Now was as good a time as any.

“I wasn’t alone,” Kurt said.

“What do you mean?” Burt asked, frowning.

Kurt rolled his eyes, knowing where Burt’s mind was headed. “I mean I picked up a string of hitchhikers and made them sing along to my Wicked cast album.”

Finn looked over, horrified. “Dude, you didn’t! You don’t just force showtunes on unsuspecting people!”

“Kurt.” Burt said.

“A,” Kurt said. “Wicked is not just any musical, and B, you know him, Dad, it was Puck. I told you I saw him. His aunt lives in Sioux Falls, and he ended up working at Bobby’s for the summer. I gave him a ride home so he wouldn’t have to buy a bus ticket. It only seemed fair.”

“Bus tickets are expensive,” Finn added.

“He was working at Bobby’s?” Burt said. Kurt met his Dad’s eyes and saw the hidden meaning. Was Puck in training, too? Kurt nodded.

“All summer,” Kurt said. “Uncle Bobby said he needed the help.”

“Uh huh,” Burt said, nodding slowly, but he was still thinking about something, and Kurt had a suspicion that he knew what it was.

Not for the first time, Kurt wished Finn knew about Hunting. It would make these conversations so much easier.

“You two work together a lot, then?” Burt asked. Is he your partner, now?

“Oh, bunches,” Kurt said. “I think Uncle Bobby hoped some of my talents would rub off on Puck.”

Behind Burt, Finn jerked like he was choking, and Kurt just prayed Burt didn’t realize. Kurt had told Finn when he and Puck started dating, but had told Finn to keep quiet until Kurt told Burt. Which he really should do now before Finn hurt himself trying to hold it in.

“Oh,” Kurt said, aiming for nonchalant. “By the way, Puck and I are dating.”

Burt froze as Finn said a fevered, “Oh, thank God,” into the engine. Kurt would have laughed if not for the look on Burt’s face.

“Dating?” Burt said. “As in boyfriends?”

Kurt nodded. “As in boyfriends.”

“Hey, Finn,” Burt said, not bothering to look. “Why don’t you head on inside and get cleaned up. Kurt and I will finish up out here.”

Finn looked between the two of them. “Sure thing Burt,” he said. He reached over and held out his fist for Kurt to bump, then walked back inside, taking his jumpsuit off in the garage and only barely managing to not fall over when he was standing on one foot. Once the door closed behind him, Kurt turned back to Burt.

“Hunters aren’t exactly known for their tolerance,” Burt said. “You sure you know what you’re getting into?”

Kurt nodded. “We work well together, Dad. Real well.”

Burt stared at him for a long minute. “Does he love you?” He asked.

“It hasn’t been long,” Kurt said. “But yeah, I think he does. And before you ask, I think I do, too.”

Burt sighed. “Then bring him around to dinner this week.”

Kurt grinned, and threw his arms around Burt. “Thank you, Dad!” Burt chuckled and hugged back.

“Now,” Burt said, pulling back and wrapping one arm around Kurt. “Let’s get the Nav unpacked and you can tell me all about your summer.