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“Calm down Khun Rome,” Mhok says, putting the envelope in between the two of them. Rome closes his eyes in disappointment, his smile dimming a little, but he keeps on smiling. Mhok’s eyes soften, knowing exactly what Rome was thinking at the moment.
Rome turns to his brother, sharing an unsurprised look who just chuckles at him. Neither were surprised at Mhok’s rebuke, but it still somehow hurts, getting another rejection from the man he loves. The silence enveloping them gets broken by the kids, running to Thee, wanting him to play with them. Thee does not deny them and go with them, with Plub following.
Rome and Mhok watch them go. Rome sighs, keeping the rejection and the longing to himself as he also decides to get out of there. Just as he takes a step forward, he feels Mhok’s hand on his arm. He freezes. For a second or two, he thought he dreamt about it but then he was pulled, softly, but enough to get him out of his daze to face Mhok again.
Mhok was looking at him softly, a small smile playing on his lips. Rome, looks at him questioningly. “Can you come with me a minute?”
Rome frowns but nods, still speechless. Mhok lets go of his arm, Rome immediately misses the strange warmth that had crawled up his spine. He follows Mhok inside the mansion, up the stairs and down the corridor until they stop in front of Mhok’s room.
Rome looks at Mhok, confusedly. “Is there something you need in here for P’Kian?”
Mhok just shook his head and opens the door. He waited, holding the door open until Rome finally stepped inside. Mhok locks the door behind them.
“Mhok?”
Mhok looks at Rome, his gaze soft and a silent longing in it that takes Rome’s breath away. Mhok takes a step forward, getting into Rome’s personal space. Rome looks at him, frozen in place, unable to look away.
Mhok softly raises a hand, cupping Rome’s face. “I’m free.” He whispers.
“I’m free from the oath. I’m free from my duties. I’m free from the restraint.” Mhok says, his voice soft in the dimly lit room. The warm light from the nightstand, reflecting across his face, showing the desperation and the anguish of having had to hold back from Rome for years.
“What are you trying to tell me Mhok?” Rome asks, unable to keep the hope out of his voice.
Mhok looks at him, “That if you still want me, I’m yours.”
Rome eyes widen as his brain short circuited. His mind replays every single moment they had spent together. From the moment they met, till now. Every small gesture. Every stolen glance. Every rejection. Every fleeting moment comes to the forefront of his mind.
10 years! 10 years of loving this man.
10 years of hearing no.
10 years of second guessing himself, thinking he misunderstood the looks, the longing, the love.
And now…finally ‘I’m yours.’
He could not help but ask “Can you say that again?”
Mhok smiles “I’m yours.”
He barely finished the sentences before his lips were covered by Rome’s. Mhok closes his eyes and lets himself feel, melting against Rome. Rome groans, his arms going around Mhok, pulling him closer him. Rome puts a hand behind Mhok’s head, taking control of the kiss, tilting Mhok’s head the way he wanted to get better access.
Mhok lets out a deep moan as Rome’s tongue is pushed inside his. He welcomes it, opening his mouth wider. Rome takes advantage of it to taste everything, maps out Mhok wet and warm caverns, unable to keep himself from wanting more.
He wraps his other arm around Mhok’s waist, pulling him even closer. Mhok’s hands move to Rome’s shoulder, holding tight as if he did not do so, he would crumble. When breathing becomes an issue, they finally parts away, panting heavily.
Rome looks at Mhok, his lips swollen and red, a look of disbelief on his face. “Can you…say that…again?”
Mhok rests his forehead against Rome, closing his eyes, he breath in Rome’s scent – a mix of herbs, rain and roasted coffee. “I’m yours.”
“Again!”
“I’m yours”
“Again”
“I’m yours.”
“Again”
“I’m yours, Rome. All yours.”
Rome unable to stop himself, kisses Mhok once again, who lets it, welcoming it even. When Mhok breaks the kiss a few seconds later, Rome chases his lips, unable to get enough. But Mhok stops him, placing a hand on his mouth. Rome looks at Mhok, a little uncertain and apprehensive, wondering if he had actually heard wrong, or he had overstepped.
Mhok quickly reassures Rome “I’m not going anywhere but we should probably talk before things go any further. I owe you an explanation.”
Rome deflated at that as he sighs against the warm hand covering his mouth. Mhok removes his hand before taking Rome’s hand, guiding them both to the couch in the room. Once Rome was seated, Mhok signals Rome to stay put as he quickly discards his coat, trying to appear more relaxed even if he knows that Rome sees right through him.
Grabbing his phone, he walks back to Rome and takes a seat beside him. Opening his gallery, he gives his phone to Rome, who takes it confusedly. Looking at it, he was surprised to see pictures of himself, moments he was unaware of.
“When did you…”
“I’m not Khun Thee’s head of Security and Personal Bodyguard for no reason. I was brought here, trained for that exact same reason. It is also for the same reason that I…I couldn’t...”
Rome looks at him, waiting. He had wanted for this to happen for years now, and it is true he is confused, delighted sure, but also confused. Why now? Why not, the other day when he asked Mhok to come with him.
“Rome, I’ve loved you for years, 10 years actually. But could not, no matter how much I wanted to, could not let myself love you openly. Boss took me in for the sole reason to be Khun Thee’s personal bodyguard. I knew my duty, I knew my duties the moment they brought me in and I had already made-up my mind, conditioned myself to sacrifice myself for him one day.”
“You know…Arseni’s bodyguards are chosen specifically. They choose people with no family, no connection to the outside world for the sole purpose of loyalty and them not wavering in the face of duty in case something happens. I’m no different Rome.”
“I never had any issue regarding my duties, but I did not account for the fact that no matter what I do, I cannot control my heart. I don’t even know when or how, but I fell in love with you. It threw me off, but I immediately hardened myself, saying you would never like me.”
Mhok chuckles at that. “I was so wrong. So so wrong. When you started pursuing me, I was so happy that my feelings were not one sided. But the next moment, the truth came crashing down. I was just a bodyguard of the Arseni. The sole purpose of my life was to protect Khun Thee. I knew one day, I would have had to die for him. Knowing that, I could not, just could not give you any hope.”
“So, I thought, if I rejected you, did not let you know about my feelings, act cold to you, you would give up, find someone else, someone better. Someone who can choose you at any given point.”
Rome gulps, unable to keep his emotions hidden, eyes filling with tears. Mhok smiles tearfully, also unable to control his emotions. “It broke my heart every single time I had to do it. It broke my heart every time I had to say no to you, had to push you away. It broke my heart every single time I saw the hope die a little inside you.”
Mhok sniffles, trying to keep himself under control but he needed to let it out, he needed Rome to know. “I knew I was hurting you, but I did not have any other choice. Arseni’s body guards are not allowed anything – it is the rule your father instilled in all of us.”
Rome shakes his head, his voice cracking a little “I know about all that Mhok. I told you I can take care of everything. So, why the other day…?”
“I know you could but Rome; I am also realistic. The moment the Master would have found out about us, he would have forced you somewhere around the world and I, I would have probably been shifted as well. With no way of ever being able to communicate or see each other.”
“That would not have happened. I would not have let him.”
Mhok shook his head “How? Rome, I would have been removed as the head of security here, moved to guard a safehouse somewhere maybe. He would have made sure that you and I never meet again. By refusing you that day, I know I hurt you but I also know this was the only way I could stay close to you, see you from time to time. By being near Khun Thee’s side, I have full overview of the business, including yours. It is the only way I have lived these pass ten years, absorbing the smallest information about you.”
“But…”
“I am the one who developed that particular protocol if ever one of the bodyguard were to have someone in their life. Master approved it the moment I submitted it.”
Rome eyes widen at. “You…you what?”
“It was before we joined school. It was a test of his to test my intellectual capabilities. I did not know at that time that I was sealing our fate.”
Rome sighs at that, unable to keep the exhaustion from his body. “Then why now?”
“I told you I am free. Khun Thee released me from my duties. I am no longer an Arseni bodyguard, nor am I a personal assistant. I am not on Arseni’s payroll anymore. I’m just Mhok.”
Rome looks at him confusedly. Mhok smiles, cupping Rome’s face. “Which means I can do what I want, I go wherever I want, I can love whoever I want. Nothing is stopping me. Neither the rules, nor the oath, nothing.”
“If that’s true then why did you?”
“Why did I stop you outside? For one, we had an audience. For two, I needed you to know before we do something stupid.”
Rome chuckles at that. “I guess that could have ended badly.”
“Rome, look at me.” Mhok whispers.
Rome looks at Mhok, unable to keep his emotions at bay “I did not choose you all these years in front of others, but I kept choosing you over and over in silence, in darkness, in secret. What I want to say is that…I love you. I love you so much it hurts.”
“I know I’ve hurt you and I can’t stop apologizing for that. But I swear to you I love you. You are my everything.”
Rome smiles “I really thought that you did not. I really thought I misread everything. I thought you could never love me. I wondered at night what was wrong with me. Why could not you accept me?”
“I did. I did since the moment I realized I love you but I could not tell you and I am so so sorry for that. I know it does not erase 10 years of hurt, but I am here now and I am not going anywhere.”
Rome looks at him in the eyes, full of hope “Promise?”
Mhok nods “Promise.”
Rome finally let the tears roll down his face, but Mhok immediately wipes it away. Rome just throws himself to Mhok, hiding his face in Mhok’s shoulder as he cries. He can’t believe he finally has the man of his dream, the love of his life all to himself. Mhok just holds him, hand moving to Rome’s hair, playing with it, ruffling it as he finally, releases his pent-up emotions and hold his Rome in his arms. His Rome.