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X/X/20XX
"... Ryder?"
Ryder stood there, looking at the missing posters of his own brother hanging on the town's board. All faded in colors and recognizable, he barely sees how Sebastian looks, what his eyes look like, his hair, anything except his name. And the fact he liked stars before he felt a hand on his shoulder, which snapped him out of his daze.
"Ryder, are you alright?" Katie asks with a concerned look on her face, she look at the board before she put her hand away. "You're thinking about your brother, aren't you?" She ask gently, already knowing what's on her best friend mind.
"... You could say that." Ryder finally replied and looked away, surprisingly looking more vulnerable and... More honest than he expected. He lowered his head and gripped his wrist. "It's been five years, I tried to find clues or traces that lead to him... And yet. I found none." He paused.
"All lead to a dead end, no information about my brother, no traces where he goes, and no one even knows who he is." He continued, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "I did search around Adventure bay, around Adventure city, the jungle, anywhere I can think of! And yet.."
It all ruined before his pup-pad suddenly ringed in his pocket, which snapped him out of his daze. Before Katie knew, Ryder immediately composed himself with a smile and pulled the pad out from his pocket. "Oh, hi there. Farmer Yumi! What can I help you?"
"Ryder, how about your brother—" Katie spoke up and reached her hand out to him, but Ryder walked back to the Lookout. Leaving her there, completely hopeless before she lowered her hand and closed her eyes. "Someone really had to ask for help at the worst timing, huh?" She muttered and shook her head.
"Katie, what's wrong?" Her father Kieran called out to him and walked up to her, holding supplies for Pet Parlor and noticed that his daughter was looking a bit down. "Is it about Ryder?" He ask, while he already know the answer.
"Yeah, it's about him." Katie nodded solemnly and looked at her father, but then she paused and looked at the Lookout. Inside, she can see her own best friend. The boy she loved, who was about to burst into tears, already started a presentation to the pups about the emergency that Farmer Yumi got herself into. "He can be so confusing sometimes, one minute earlier. He's talking about how he tried so hard to find Sebastian, now he's..." Katie paused, not wanting to continue and open her eyes.
"I wish he can be a bit honest with himself.."
Kieran noticed the look on her face before he placed his hand on her shoulder. "Maybe give him some space, Katie." He reassured gently and closed his eyes. "But it still bothers me, why Ryder? Someone who is the same age as you, already running an organization with six pups to save the day? Where's his parents? And why do they think letting him lead Paw Patrol is a good idea?" He asks and opens his eyes, looking at the Lookout.
He narrowed his eyebrows. "Someone like him didn't deserve to carry this much weight on his shoulders, especially when he's ten years old." He began before Katie spoke up. "I'm going to talk to him about it, he can't keep this a secret from me forever.." She said and clenched her fists. "I've known him since we're children, so I can't let him continue this."
Kieran nodded in agreement and smiled. "You should, but for now. Let's not interrupt him and return back, Mayor Humdinger is probably complaining about how Pet Parlor is taking so long washing his cats." Their expressions immediately changed in an instant when they heard the word Humdinger. "Him, again?"
"Yes, him. The mayor of Foggy Bottom."
"How the hell is he still the mayor?"
"No one knows, but I'm glad he's not the mayor of Adventure city anymore."
"You all such good pups!" Ryder praised the pups with a smile on his lips before Farmer Yumi walked up to him. "Thank you so much, Ryder! If it weren't for Paw Patrol help, we'd be unable to get our cows back!"
"No problem, Farmer Yumi." Ryder replied with a confident and proud smile, he put his hand on his hip and his other hand pointing up before he said his signature motto. "Whatever you're in trouble, just moo for help!"
Then everyone laughed together, along with him before he noticed a peacock feather that appeared before him. It landed perfectly into his palm, which caught him off guard and his laughter slowly died down.
"Ryder, is that a feather?" Chase asks with curiosity in his voice, which causes the boy to pause for a moment. "Yeah, a peacock feather got here somehow..." He muttered before he opened his pup-pad, it was 17:53 PM.. Guess he should go back to the Lookout.
"Ahh... Ahhh! Ahhh! ACHOOOO—" Chase accidentally sniffed on the feather and sneezed so hard, that he basically got knocked over to the fence. Which caught Ryder off guard. "Chase! Are you okay?" He calls out, which the German Shepherd slowly pulls out a thumbs up... From his paw of course.
"Chase, I'm so sorry!" Ryder runs out to him, which Marshall and Rubble follow up after him. The boy knelt down, he helped the pup up and shook his head. "Why did you sniff the feather anyway?" He asks, looking at his best friend who just smiled awkwardly at him.
"Well, that feather gives me some... Unfamiliar vibes. I don't know, it smells like someone? I can sense something coming from it, but I can't pinpoint what it is." Chase began and paused for a moment. "Ryder, can I see the feather again?" He asked.
Ryder nodded and showed him the peacock feather, Chase nodded and give it a sniff. But the pup paused, and sniffed it again. "Huh, it smells like... Memories?"
"Memories?" Ryder repeated after Chase before Marshall spoke up. "Oh! Let me!" The Dalmatian pup stepped up and smelled the feather. He narrowed his eyes and smelled it again. "Not an ordinary feather... Where did this come from?" Marshall asks and looks at their leader, who is surprisingly deep in thoughts.
"Ryder?"
Ryder snapped out of his daze and looked at the pups, who seemed worried about and cleared himself up with a cough. "Sorry, pups! My mind was somewhere else." He said with a smile on his lips. "Now that it's over, let's wrap it up and go back to the Lookout." He snapped his fingers and turned his back, leaving a trio of pups standing there.
"Ryder is acting odd lately..." Rubble finally spoke up, which caused him to receive a glare from Chase and immediately muttered an apology under his breath.
"Rubble isn't wrong, there's something off about him lately.." Marshall chimed in, which caused the pair to focus on him. "Maybe it has to do with that missing boy that disappeared five years ago?"
"Do you mean Sebastian?" Chase replied and paused for a moment. "Now you mentioned it, Ryder barely mentioned that he has any family. Except he knows a boy who talks fondly about stars." He stated, which caught their attention.
"Sebastian? You mean that boy Sebastian Eve Zachary?" Marshall replied. "That boy who disappeared without a trace five years ago?"
"Maybe it could be him." Rubble chimed in and shrugged it off. "But I'm not a detective, after all. We barely know anything about him. We don't know if he has parents! Or if he has a brother-"
"Pups!"
Ryder's voice immediately snapped them out of their thoughts, before they knew. Chase barked and ran to their leader. "On our way, Ryder!" Leaving Marshall and Rubble alone.
"..."
The two pups looked at each other and nodded, they can discuss this later. At the Lookout before they catch up with Chase. "Wait for me— Ooff!" The poor Dalmatian accidentally tripped and rolled away with Chase, which caught Ryder off guard... Again.
20:42 PM....
"..."
Ryder finds himself staring at the ceiling while he lays down on his bed, another mission well-done. He should feel proud of himself, right? It's not everyday he got into himself over something simple such as getting Farmer Yumi cows from running away, he should feel happy he saved someone, he should feel content he saved the day again and again...
And yet.
He stared at his computer on his desk, where he accidentally left it open and slowly sat up. He didn't have much to do, he had a lot of free time before he walked up to his desk and took a seat. His hand automatically placed it on the mouse before he slowly moved to a game named Tetris, he opened it up and noticed his highest score still hadn't been beaten yet.
Five years ago...
"..."
A young boy, sitting in the dark with books left scattered on the floor and he's playing Tetris on the computer with a controller. All of them are mostly stars related as his eyes focus on the blocks, each combo adding more points to his high score.
"A little bit more..." He muttered as the blocks moved in such blur, his glasses almost nearly falling. Which causes him to fix it and the game is already over, his score stands on second place. Right after a username Sebby_11, which caused him to lower his controller and let out a sigh. "That was my 17th attempt to beat his score." Ryder muttered and looked at the clock ticking on the wall, it was already 22:22 PM and yet his parents weren't home.
"Where is mom and dad going anyway... It's been three days and they haven't returned." The boy muttered softly to himself and stood up, ever since Sebastian suddenly disappeared. He barely left his room and faced anyone else, which is kind of concerning before he heard a knock on the front door.
"Uh— Coming!" He immediately left his bedroom and go downstairs in a hurry, but then he paused before he reached to the living room. Remembering the words his mother said to him before she left with his father.
"Remember Ryder, don't open the door for strangers. Especially during nighttime."
Ryder remembered those words vividly before he slowly decided to check the windows, he pushed the curtains that cover the view and peek. Wondering who could be coming to his home at the time like this.
To his surprise, it was Katie's father. Who stands there, waiting patiently. Why is he here? Isn't he supposed to...
"Huh, the door isn't open... Guess Ryder is sleeping." Kieran commented and turned his back, planning to walk away before the door slowly opened. The man paused for a moment and looked over his shoulder, expecting Ryder to be there. But, no one was standing there—
Ryder slowly peeks over the door with a shy look and his glasses almost fall from his face, which he automatically fixes, he shows himself and looks at Kieran. "Mr. Kieran, what brought you here..?" He asks softly and looks at him warily, looking embarrassed that he's talking to someone that isn't Katie nor Sebastian for the first time.
"Ryder! I thought you were sleeping." Kieran replied and paused for a moment. "Sorry if I interrupted something, it's just that Katie became concerned about you not leaving your home for three days." He began and noticed the young boy looking anywhere but his gaze. "Is anything alright at home?" He asks gently with a hint of concern, as if he's approaching a scared pup that might run away in fear.
".. No." Ryder shook his head and looked down. "I miss my big brother, Sebby..." He muttered softly. "I waited for him to return, to come back and play with me again." He continued and looked up at Kieran. "Sebby promised he'll talk more about stars and play more with me.." He muttered and gripped his shirt. "Is he mad at me? Why did he disappear?"
"..." Kieran paused and kneel down to face the boy. "You must care a lot about Sebby, don't you?" He asks gently and closes his eyes. "I don't know about him, but do you wish to talk about it? Ryder?" He looked at him with understanding in his eyes.
Ryder slowly nodded and let Kieran in, the little boy paused for a moment and played with his fingers. "My mom never allows strangers in our house.." He speaks up, which causes the man to pause.
The little boy looked up, wondering why Kieran surprisingly pretty silent before the man replied. "I see." He said and sat on the coach. "But I'm not a stranger to you, aren't I?"
"No.." Ryder shook his head and remembered something. "Sorry if it looks messy, mom and dad barely went home because they're too busy saving the world.." He muttered and looked at him. "I should prepare something for you since you're a guest here."
"Ryder, wait—" Kieran about to call the boy out, but Ryder already disappeared to the kitchen. Which caused him to shake his head. "What type of mother who leaves her own child on his own and thinks this is fine..." He muttered and stood up from the couch, running after the boy before he noticed something.
"Mr. Kieran.. What's wrong with the tea?" Ryder said while staring at the cup of tea, that it somehow turned into a shade of black before he looked at Kieran. "Did I do something wrong?"
Kieran paused and walked up next to the boy. "Ryder, how did you...?" He immediately got cut off as Ryder tried to explain. "I-I can explain! I swear it didn't turn out like that..." He said and paused. "I wanted to make tea for you since you're a guest here.." He looked up. "Mr. Kieran, I'm so sorry—"
"No, no, no. It's fine, Ryder." Kieran shook his head and smiled, he looked down on the tea. Sensing something that isn't supposed to be there, he slowly held the tea up and looked at the unnatural tea color. Which makes him hesitate before he looks at Ryder, who stares at him with fear and hope in his eyes. Especially how he grasp both of his hands, as if he's seeking approval.
I don't think I should drink this, but the way Ryder is looking at me right now...
"Alright, here I go.." Kieran took a deep breath, swallowing his hesitation and took a sip. His eyes immediately shot open and he had to fight the urge to throw up, because what the hell did Ryder put to make in this tea. It tastes like... Someone just put random stuff in the tea and pray it works.
Why does this tea taste anything but tea?! What the hell did he even put in until the point it tasted like this?
"Mr. Kieran, how's the tea...?" Ryder said and looked at Kieran, looking a bit shy yet hopeful before the man slowly put the teacup down. "It's... Great, but there's room for Improvement." The man paused. "Though, you did a great job. Next time, if you want to learn how to cook. Just come to me, alright?"
"Oh..." Ryder paused and nodded. "Okay, Mr. Kieran." The boy nodded in agreement before Kieran asked. "Right, have you eaten anything?" The man asked, which caused Ryder to pause. "No... I can't cook, even if I try. I accidentally burnt the water!" He said. "My mom can't even cook either, so dad makes meals for us.."
Guess that kinda explains why this tea tastes.. Weird. Kieran thought to himself and shook his head. "Ryder, stay here. I'll cook something for you." He said and walked up to the fridge.
"What are you making, Mr. Kieran?" Ryder asks and looks over, judging by his expression. He looked so surprised before Kieran replied. "Well, Ryder. What do you want to eat?"
"I'm fine with everything.. But don't put Brussels sprouts in it." Ryder replied and grimaced when he thought about that vegetable. "Or any vegetables."
"Alright, no vegetables then." Kieran nodded and took out the ingredients. "You can wait at the table, “I promise it won't take long." He reassured him with a gentle smile and gestured the boy at the dining table.
"..."
Ryder sat alone at the dining table, looking a bit nervous before he looked at the clock that showed 22:30 PM. "Here you go." Kieran showed up and placed a plate of omelette before him. "Sorry I couldn't find any ingredients that suit your taste, but I make omelette for you." He said. "Don't worry about the hidden vegetables, I promise I didn't put any of them in the eggs."
Ryder took the spoon on the plate and hesitated for a moment, he took a spoonful and took a bite. "..." He munches it inside his mouth, taking his time before his eyes shoot wide open. "It's... It's delicious!" He said and took another bite, before he noticed there's cheese inside the eggs. "Mr. Kieran, you put cheese in there?"
"Of course, I already know what you like and hate. Ryder." Kieran replied and smiled. "Sebastian mentioned it a lot of times . I shouldn't put Brussels sprouts every time you want to eat at the Pet Parlor." He added and ruffled the boy's hair. "But avoiding vegetables isn't good for you, Ryder. You should eat more."
"Mr. Kieran!" Ryder yelped and gently pushed his hand away, which caused his glasses to fall. "I know I shouldn't avoid my vegetables but..." He fixed his glasses and huffed. "But it's not my fault they taste bland and boring!"
"So picky about picking foods.." Kieran mused and patted Ryder on the head. "That's not good for you, you know?" He said and sat next to him. "If you want to cook something, you can come to me for help." He said and smiled at Ryder.
"Really?" Ryder said while his mouth is full of omelette, not noticing the mess on his face before Kieran let out a chuckle. "Don't speak while your mouth is full, Ryder." He scolded gently and poked the boy on the nose, which caused him to blink.
"Eat first, then we'll talk about it."
Mr. Kieran was so nice to me back then. Ryder thought to himself and leaned back against the chair, the computer showed him his highest score that is in the first spot. Right after Sebby_11 before he looked up at the ceiling. "Right, usually he'll would check up on me at the time like this—"
Speaking of the devil, his pup-pad ring in his pocket and he noticed it was a call from Kieran. He picked it up and composed himself. "Oh hey there, Mr. Kieran! What brought you?"
"Well, it's nothing much. Ryder." Kieran replied on the other side of the phone. "I just wanted to check up on you, have you eaten dinner?" He asked and titled his head.
"Of course I did." Ryder replied with a smile on his lips, which caused Kieran to raise an eyebrow. "Are you sure, Ryder?" He said, a hint of skepticism in his voice.
Ryder paused for a moment and slumped his shoulders. "Alright, you got me. I didn't eat anything, but because I made pancakes earlier... And somehow the batter moves."
"The batter move?" Kieran replied after him with wide eyes, he knows Ryder's cooking can be questionable sometimes. But this is something else. "What do you mean the batter move—"
"I don't know! I'm just equally confused as you are." Ryder replied and shook his head, but then he noticed that familiar voice and face.
"Dad, are you calling Ryder?" Katie asked and appeared next to Kieran, when she finally noticed Ryder and waved at him. "Hey there, Ryder!" She said with a smile on her lips. "How have you been?"
"I'm fine, Katie." Ryder replied and smiled back. "How about you, Katie?" He asked.
"Everything is fine as usual, you know how it is." Katie replied before Kieran chimed in. "Please pardon me, but I have to get some supplies for tomorrow." He excused himself and left the call, leaving them alone.
"So... Did anything happen?" Ryder asked and tilted his head, but then he noticed a new bracelet around her left wrist. "Oh, did you get a new bracelet, Katie?"
"Actually, it's a gift from a friend—" Katie about to respond before she noticed the expression on his face changed a little, his smile almost faded and she pointed out. "Ryder, what was that?"
"Oh, it's nothing!" Ryder said and shook his head. "Could you tell me more about it?" He replied, looking curious but inside. His thoughts are completely the opposite.
Someone gave her a bracelet, and she looked happy wearing it...
"Well, it's a gift from Ace! Said it reminds her of me during her travels." Katie replied and looked down. "The heart represents me, but I'm not sure about the swan and the seashell.."
"Huh, a gift from Ace." Ryder muttered and stared at the bracelet. "It must be thoughtful that she thinks of you." He said and smiled, but inside.. He feels so strange about this. Does he envy Ace? There's no way he'll envy a pilot girl! Compared to that girl, he's popular, Adventure bay loves him, the pups love him and he's literally the leader of Paw Patrol, he's a genius for a reason; he made the Lookout from nothing and everyone praised his intelligence.
Why would he envy a professional stunt pilot? Someone who he only knows because Skye mentioned her and saved her before? There's no way.
Besides, he's probably overthinking about it. Maybe he feels concerned about Katie, that's it. Nothing special, he's just scared about her. That's it, but why won't this ugly feeling go away? It's just a friend, Ace is just a friend to Katie.
"Ryder, Ryder! Are you okay?"
Ryder snapped out of his daze and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." He lied smoothly, but inside. He's anything but not fine before he changes the subject. "Anyway, what is it that you want to talk about?" He asked, as if he wasn't overthinking earlier.
"Right, about that..." Katie pauses and thinks about it, tapping her cheek before she asks.
"Did you find any clues about Sebastian?"
Ryder's stomach immediately dropped when he heard the name Sebastian, but he composed himself. There's no way he let her know about this before he shook his head. "No, no clues nor traces as usual."
"I see.." Katie replied and nodded. "Ryder, are you sure Sebastian is still alive? It's been five years, you know? What if—"
"Sebastian is alive, he is. I'm sure of it." Ryder cut her off with confidence in his voice, but the call doesn't show her that his left hand is trembling a little. How can he be so sure Sebastian is alive? Even if he is uncertain whether his brother is out there or already dead before he knows.
"I'll find him, I'll make sure of that." Ryder stated that with finality and looked at Katie with determination through the call. "I won't give up on him, just like he never gives up on me."
Katie was silent for a moment, she knew that her friend can be quite stubborn. Once he focuses on a goal, you can't do anything to make him stop and let out a sigh. "Alright then, but Ryder. Don't forget to take a rest, I'm worried about you."
"Of course, I won't." Ryder replied and nodded with a smile, he looked at the clock and noticed it was already 21:05 PM. Time really flies that fast, huh? He looked at her again and excused himself. "It's getting late for both of us, so we should sleep." He said, then he remembered something and added. "And don't stay up late, Katie. I know your sleep schedule is nonexistent."
Katie let out a laugh and shook her head. "Alright, alright. I'll remember that.." She said and looked away. "Or I'll just stay up late, playing—"
"Katie." Ryder said her name firmly and isn't exactly amused, but a smile creeped up on his lips. "If you won't go to sleep, I'm going to the Pet Parlor and make you sleep myself." The way he said it is kinda unnerving, especially because he sounds so serious about making her go to sleep.
"Okay, okay, okay! I'll sleep, I'll sleep!" Katie replied and raised her hands in surrender, but she let out a chuckle. "But, there's no way you'll come to my place and barge into my room so you can be sure I'm sleeping. Aren't you?"
Ryder raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "Please don't test me, I can be very determined if needed." He said and paused for a moment. "Also, tell Mr. Kieran, I said thank you to him."
Katie looked a bit surprised for a moment before she nodded with a faint smile. "Of course, I'll tell my dad about it." But then she adds. "Also, don't overwork yourself."
"Goodnight, Katie."
"Goodnight, Ryder."
Then the call ended and Ryder leaned against the chair, a sigh escaped from his lips before he stared at the ceiling. Where it is decorated with star constellations and pauses for a moment. "Stars, huh..." He muttered and straight up his posture. "Sebastian, where are you?" He muttered to himself, as if the universe held the answers he was looking for before he sat up from the chair and walked up to the board.
On the board, there's few notes. Timelines where Sebastian disappeared, few red strings pointing from a photo to another. And yet, a photo that stands out the most is a trio photo of him, his brother and Katie together behind the abandoned tower. He turned it to the well-known Lookout and let out a sigh.
There's him, before Paw Patrol, before Sebastian went missing, before he began to distantly pull himself away from Katie and the pups. He was anything but brave, just a boy who hid behind his older brother whatever someone approached him, a boy who made robots from nothing so his parents would notice him, especially his mother. Just a boy who is so unsure about himself.
But that boy is already gone, no longer needed.
"..."
Ryder slowly stared at the reflection of himself, standing there before he walked up to the mirror. He isn't that kid anymore, he's Ryder. The leader of Paw Patrol who knows every situation and plan for every problem, the confident and the perfect leader who is willing to help everyone. Even if he was treated like trash, even if they didn't care about him. Even if they talk trash about him, even if...
"You can't save everyone, Ryder."
A voice whispered to him, taunting and mocking him before it laughed. "You think you know everything, don't you? You think you know it all, pretending to be perfect when we know you're rotting inside. A scared boy, pretending to be the leader.."
The voice let out a chuckle before it appeared in the mirror as him, looking at Ryder with a mock pity look and tilted his head. "Tell me Ryder, if you are truly sure you can find Sebastian. Where is he? Why hasn't he returned? Maybe he realized his little brother is so weak and naive!"
"What are you talking about—"
"You're desperate for attention and appreciation that you build the Paw Patrol, you save everyone, have a backup plan when everything goes wrong and nearly die. So you can pretend to be a hero." The voice said and tapped his cheek. "Following your mother's footsteps, aren't you? So many expectations placed on you, yet have you asked if this is what you wanted?"
"I built Paw Patrol so—" Ryder about to continue before the voice raised its finger. "No job is too big, no pup is too small... A nice motto. Don't you think? But that motto alone, have you asked if you accidentally put a lot of expectations on a single pup? What if that job is too big for a pup?"
"Then me and Paw Patrol will help the pup." Ryder replied with certainty in his voice, looking at his own reflection before the voice shook his head. "Of course you would, but have you considered putting a lot of expectations on that pup? That poor pup feels so scared of failing you, scared of failing the job he was tasked to by you."
"They wouldn't..." Ryder paused for a moment, gripping his fists and looked down. “Then why Chase feels so scared of failing you? Have you ever thought about how the pups feel? If they're okay taking this job—”
“I did! I did ask them!” Ryder accidentally yelled out and paused for a moment, he covered his mouth before the voice shook its head. “Of course you did, but they only say yes because they're scared. They're terrified of saying no to you, because saying no means they're failing you.
They're scared of failing their leader Ryder.”
“Stop that..” Ryder muttered under his breath. “You're telling lies, aren't you? Why are you here and how did you appear in my mirror to begin with—”
“I'm you, Ryder.” The voice said and placed its hand on its chest. “I'm just more honest, more alive, and know you more than you know yourself.” It said and smiled. “You can't let yourself be honest to the pups, be honest to Mr. Kieran, be honest to your only friend that you trust the most…”
“Stop it.” Ryder exclaimed firmly, but the voice in the reflection let out a chuckle. “Stop from what? Talking some sense into you?” The voice said and shook his head before it shapeshifted to that version of him, that weak, naive and pitiful version of him. A version he desperately needs to hide from the pups.
“You play your part so well, the hero, the leader and the friend everyone needs. Have you ever considered going for an acting career when you want to give up the Paw Patrol position?” The voice asked pitifully, showing an image of him as that five year old. Who looks scared, uncertain of the world and desperately wants to make himself so no one picks up on him.
“... How did you know that?” Ryder asked, feeling uncomfortable as this conversation continued and clenched his fists. “No one is supposed to remember that.”
“Of course you'll ask that question.” The voice said and let out a chuckle. “Have you ever thought of being selfish for once?” It asked and titled its head. “Earlier, you act so different when Katie mentioned that Ace bought a gift for her.”
“...”
“Huh? No words coming out from your mouth? Did the brave, intelligent and confident leader of Paw Patrol become speechless for once?” The voice asked and shook its head. “What's wrong, did I hit the nerve?”
“Shut up…” Ryder mumbled under his breath, clenching and unclenching his fists as he looked down on the floor. Unable to face his own reflection on the mirror, the longer this went. The more he is unable to defend himself, because how can you counter logic with harsh truth? The truth that you desperately hide it away under a mask?
“You cling to her because you're scared anyone can easily change her mind, you're no longer worth your time.” The voice continued and let out a laugh. “You're so scared that you realized you're not the only one who is important to her.” it said, shaking its head. “Is she really that important to you? You claim she was just a friend to you, yet… “ It paused, letting him know that he already knew the answer.
“Shut up, you don't know anything about me..” Ryder muttered, keeping his head lowered as he fought the urge to make the voice shut up. Who is this that claimed to know him better than himself? It doesn't make sense because who really knows you better than yourself?
“Come on, this isn't really the first time it happened. Right?” The voice goes further and fixes its glasses. “Ryder, you're just as scared as Chase when you realise you're going to Adventure city. You hide it much better than that pup, because what kind of leader hesitates when it comes to making a decision? You know better than anyone else when it comes to letting everyone down, especially the pups.”
The voice realises Ryder remains silent and takes it as an opportunity to go further. “You think being the hero you pretend you are, your mom would notice you. Right?” It mused and tapped its cheek. “Poor Ryder, his brother went missing, his mother is too busy to focus on her son and now.. You're scared that Katie can easily replace you.”
The voice narrowed its eyebrows. “Admit it, admit it that you're worth nothing without the Paw Patrol. Because without them, you're just a boy who scared of losing someone who is dear—”
“SHUT UP!”
In a fit of rage, Ryder ended up smashing the mirror that cracked to six pieces with his right fist. He took deep breaths to compose himself before he realized what he did and looked at his own reflection, it looked messy. Imperfect, and for a moment. He barely recognized himself…
“Ryder! Is there something wrong?”
A familiar voice can be heard on the other side of the room, which Ryder had mentally facepalm. Why did he decide to have a breakdown when the pups are still awake? God, he's an idiot, a stupid and gullible idiot before he composed himself.
“Chase? What's wrong, buddy?” Ryder replied with a hint of concern in his voice, ignoring the fact his right fist is bleeding before the German Shepherd paused for a moment. “Ryder, I accidentally overheard you yelling in your room. Is everything alright there?”
No, nothing is alright here.
“Everything is alright, Chase.” Ryder reassured with a weak smile on his lips, but he knew his best friend couldn't see that before he added. “Just.. Go to sleep, Chase. It's getting late.”
“But, Ryder—”
“Don't worry, I got it all together.” Ryder reassured his best friend, once he heard the steps going farther away from his room. He let out a sigh. “Why the fuck did I decided do burst out like that? I wasn't supposed to do that…”
He shook his head and looked down on his bleeding right hand. “I should get it patched up, don't want to make everyone worried about me.” He looked down on six shattered pieces of mirror and closed his eyes. “Great, I also need to buy another mirror…”
He opened his eyes and looked up at the night sky, where the full moon shone brightly among the stars and noticed eight stars standing out. “Shooting stars.. I once made a wish back then.” He muttered. “My wish…”
Present day
Ryder's missing posters take over the city's board yet some of them fade or go missing, and no one barely knows where he is. All they knew is that on that fateful day, he disappeared without a trace before a boy holding an umbrella walked up to the board. Citizens barely noticed his presence before he grabbed a poster and looked at it.
“Ryder Zachary, last seen in his bedroom..” The boy muttered under his breath and looked up, his other hand holding the umbrella a bit tight before he noticed someone staring at him. Someone familiar before he disappeared without a trace, leaving a black petal behind.
Who is this boy who uses an umbrella on a sunny yet adventurous day like this? Something is off, really off about him.
“Why are you so persistent about finding him, Katie?”
The umbrella boy asked that question quietly to himself when he saw Katie standing in the middle of a forest, holding a paper before he titled his head.
Who is this Ryder Zachary?
Why did everyone seem worried about him?
What's special about him?
The Messenger looked so worried about him, even after five years passed by.
The umbrella boy thought as Katie turned her back and walked back to the ATV, he tilted his head and muttered. “Katie, why do you care so much about him?”
I don't truly understand why, but it feels like I know her. As if we met before.
Strange, how truly strange. How did I know her name…?
Yet, when she mentioned that name. My stomach feels strange for some reason…
I don't know who he is, yet I know he seems important to her.
"Ryder, who are you truly?" The umbrella boy muttered and turn his back, walking away before he left another black petal. At the same time, a blue butterfly passed by and seem to follow where Katie is going.