Chapter Text
“All is fair in love and war and this is a bit of both”
- Ron Weasley
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“Ginny, we’re sitting here! Where are you going?”
Ginny heard her brother’s voice and wished the dirty floor of Hogwarts Express simply swallowed her whole.
Where was she going?
Anywhere but there.
She couldn't sit with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Not after the breakup. Not after a part of her heart had been ripped away only a few hours earlier, leaving her eyes red and swollen despite all her efforts to hide it.
She wasn't a crier. She prided herself on being strong. But some things were simply too painful to keep inside.
After Dumbledore's funeral, she'd fled straight to her dormitory, curled up on her bed, buried her face in the hoodie Harry had lent her just a few days before, and cried until there were no tears left.
It wasn't as though she hadn't expected it.
She had.
She'd felt it in her bones, in the way Harry had held her the night before the funeral, and most of all in the way he'd kissed her.
The kiss had tasted like goodbye.
“Oh, I promised Demelza I'd sit with her, Ron,” she lied as she slowed beside their compartment.
For the briefest moment, her eyes found Harry. He looked away and went back to staring blankly out of the window, his expression unreadable.
She knew exactly what he was doing.
He was gathering the courage to tell Ron and Hermione that they had broken up.
As much as her heart ached, she couldn't suppress a flicker of satisfaction at the thought of Ron's reaction.
It was cruel and selfish, but she was hurting.
“See you later,” she said quietly.
Ron frowned, clearly confused. His eyes darted to Harry and back to her.
“What—”
But she was already walking away.
She had barely made it a few steps down the corridor when warm fingers closed gently around her wrist.
She didn't have to turn around to know who it was.
“Ginny…” His voice was quiet, barely audible.
He guided her toward the nearest empty compartment, sliding the door shut behind them. How many times did she imagine Harry pulling her into the empty compartment?
For a long moment neither of them spoke and Ginny stared at him expectantly.
Harry kept staring at the floor, as though he couldn't bear to look at her.
I'm sorry.
I was wrong.
I can't do this.
I love you.
Those were the words she desperately wanted to hear.
Instead, he drew in a slow, shaky breath. “You have to tell everyone I'm a dick.”
Ginny blinked. For a second she honestly thought she'd misheard him.
“Excuse me?” It was so absurd that a laugh almost escaped her. “What?”
“When people ask why we broke up…” His voice was quiet and uncertain. “Tell them the worst thing you can think of. Tell them I cheated on you.”
She stared at him as though he'd completely lost his mind.
“What are you talking about, Harry?”
“They're going to ask questions.” He finally looked up. “And they can't know the truth. I can't let them.”
“But everyone knows you.” She shook her head. “Do you honestly think anyone would believe you cheated on me?”
Harry didn't answer. Instead, his eyes drifted downward.
Only then did Ginny realize they were still holding hands. His thumb rested against the back of hers as though he'd forgotten to let go.
“Then…” His voice caught. “Tell them you hate me. Tell them I'm not what you expected.”
A lump formed in her throat.
“Harry…” she whispered. “I can't do that.”
“You can.”
“No.” She squeezed his hand. “Because you're exactly what I expected.”
His eyes lifted to hers.
“A complete idiot?”
“Yes.” Despite everything, a tiny laugh escaped her.
A tear threatened to fall, but she blinked it away.
“A complete idiot.”
The corner of Harry's mouth twitched.
“But also the bravest person I've ever known. And the one who always puts everyone else before himself. I just don't know whether that's a relief... or a burden.”
The silence that followed was unbearable. Harry looked as though her words had knocked the air from his lungs. She was almost certain she saw his eyes begin to glisten.
“Then…” He cleared his throat. “Tell them I'm a terrible kisser.”
“No one's going to believe that either.” She let out a watery laugh, and a faint smile appeared on his face.
“I've kissed you enough times to know that isn't true. Besides, if it were, so many people wouldn't have caught us kissing in every corner of the castle.”
For a heartbeat they simply looked at each other. Their already faint smiles disappeared and their eyes met, both glistening.
Ginny knew they were remembering the same things.
The stolen kisses in deserted corridors. The afternoons by the lake. The nights when saying goodnight had turned into hours spent by the common room fire kissing, laughing and talking.
And the unbearable realization that there wouldn't be any more of that.
Harry looked away first.
“I don't know, Gin.” His voice cracked. “Just… do your best to make everyone hate me.” A bitter smile crossed his face. “Actually… do your worst.”
Slowly, reluctantly, he slipped his hand from hers.
The absence of his touch was immediate. She suddenly felt cold.
“See you.”
Before she could answer, he slid the compartment door open and disappeared into the corridor.
Ginny remained exactly where she was.
She lowered herself onto the seat and buried her face in her hands.
She stood and pulled the curtains across the compartment door before casting a quiet Colloportus on it, hoping no one would be foolish enough to try forcing it open.
There were far fewer students on the train now. Many had left Hogwarts after Dumbledore's death, and the corridors, usually buzzing, felt unnaturally quiet.
Ginny curled up on the seat, pulling her knees to her chest. She rested her forehead against the window, watching the countryside already blur into streaks of green and grey.
She tried not to think.
Not about Harry and not about the fact that she no longer had any idea what tomorrow would look like.
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Harry came back to his compartment with a lump in his throat so large he thought he might be sick.
He wanted to throw up, to scream, to shout, to smash everything around him. Destroy everything. Just as he'd destroyed the only happiness he'd allowed himself to have.
The cruelest part was that he'd done it himself.
But did he really have a choice? What would a relationship bring to the hunt besides fear, distraction, and the constant threat of losing her?
Then again, ending it had brought nothing but grief.
His life was a bloody mess. That much, at least, he knew for certain.
Now he had to face Ron and Hermione. Now he had to tell them.
Would Ron hit him? Harry hoped he would.
“Hi,” he muttered as he slipped into his usual seat by the window.
“What's going on? Did you two have a fight?” Ron asked with a furrowed brow.
Hermione shot Ron an exasperated look.
“Is there anything we—” She glanced at Ron before correcting herself. “—I can do?”
Ron frowned at her.
Normally, Harry would've smiled and rolled his eyes at their bickering. Today, he couldn't.
He might as well get it over with. Rip it off like a bandage.
“Ginny and I…” He took a slow breath. Every instinct told him to stare at the floor, but he forced himself to meet Ron's eyes instead. “We broke up.”
“WHAT?” Ron's voice echoed loudly through the compartment.
Hermione didn't say a word. She looked at Harry with an expression he hated.
Pity.
“I broke up with her, Ron.” His voice cracked despite his best efforts to keep it steady. “I'm sorry.”
“You're sorry? But what—why? What the hell, Harry?”
“Ron, isn't it obvious?” Hermione interrupted, her voice gentler than Harry thought he deserved. “He didn't want to do it.”
Both Harry and Ron looked at her.
“You just want her to be safe, don't you?” Hermione asked quietly, resting a hand on his arm.
Gratitude towards Hermione overwhelmed him.
Harry swallowed hard.
“I…” His voice failed him. “Yeah.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Look... I can't be with anyone. We're about to go on a dangerous mission. Voldemort will use anyone he can to get to me.” His throat tightened. “Anyway, I'm probably going to die.”
The words sounded strangely matter-of-fact.
“Harry, don't say that!” Hermione cried, but he shushed her and continued.
“I can't let Ginny become another target. She was already hurt once.”
His eyes burned again. He had never cried so much in a single day.
Not since Sirius.
He felt hollow. Empty, as though he'd left the best part of himself somewhere by the lake in their favourite spot, in one of the empty classrooms they'd claimed as their own, and in Ginny's favourite armchair, where she'd always made room for him beside her.
He turned back to the window before the tears could fall.
Still, he knew Ron had noticed.
He could almost feel Ron and Hermione exchanging one of those silent looks they'd perfected over the years.
A moment later, Ron got up and switched places with Hermione, dropping into the seat beside Harry.
“I'm sorry, mate.” His voice was quiet now. “You two were really good together.”
He gave Harry an awkward pat on the shoulder, mirroring Hermione's earlier gesture.
“And... Thanks for saving my sister. Again.”
Harry let out a shaky breath.
“I'm sure...” Ron continued. “When all of this is over, you'll figure it out.”
Harry wiped the tears. Neither Ron nor Hermione acknowledged them. They politely looked away.
When all of this is over.
Harry stared out at the countryside rushing past.
When all of this was over...
He doubted there would be much of him left to figure anything out.