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Part 1 of Random ideas that are complete bullshit😛
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Published:
2026-07-31
Updated:
2026-07-31
Words:
1,002
Chapters:
1/?
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5
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I'll be back soon(kaucja crack fic)

Summary:

Basically butelka kaucyjna if it was human and it's low-key gay just because

 

A water bottle gets returned and instead of turns human then gets forced to go to work cause it needs money for food and housing

Notes:

I'm from Poland so there might be misspellings and punctuation mistakes there's nothing I can do about it.

It's just a fic for fun mostly and I'm not putting much though into it

I might write something more serious eventually but I need to get the hang of it first so yeah!

Also kaucja means deposit at least that what google translate said

I don't know how to write and it's my first fic 😍

No ai was used I hope you enjoy

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: The humble początek(beginning)

Summary:

Deposit bottle is it/it's cause it's an item so I'm using gender neutral Polish words if it's doing something

A teenager drinks water and after returning the bottle it turns into a human and is trying to figure out to survive thankfully it learns it's not alone in this journey

Notes:

They speak in Polish course it's happening in Poland translation is in brackets

Chapter Text

It was summer and boiling hot so it's normal for someone to go to a Dino or Żabka and buy some water and of course bottle deposit is a thing and people return them all the time, so why am I bringing this up? Well normally nothing happens to bottles that get reused but something happened this time.

Katherine was no different from everyone in the hot weather—a teenager who decided to go outside once in her life although at the playground after some time she decided to go to the store and buy some water. So she went inside a Żabka chose the cheapest option since she didn't have that much money and at went to the register to pay but at the register she saw gum for 50 groszy(it's0,50PLN too cheap for a pack of gum but it's just fiction so bear with me) unfortunately she only had enough for water so she couldn't buy it which was a shame since she likes him but then she realized that thankfully due to bottle deposit she could get her 50 groszy back after returning the plastic bottle. which was actually pretty nice although if she didn't have to pay those 50 groszy more she'd be able to afford it but still it's fine.

After returning to the playground and sitting somewhere she started chatting with her friends again. Since it was still awfully hot and nothing seemed like it would change, she brought the water bottle to her mouth and started drinking it was cold and perfect especially for this type of weather the taste was unexplainable especially because she is usually dehydrated. After drinking almost every drop in one go she went back to return the bottle so she could get the gum she wanted. After returning the bottle and buying the gum she decides to head home because of the scorching heat. Meanwhile the bottle after falling into where the other bottles should go after being returned suddenly seemed to open its eyes—wait how does a bottle have eyes what the hell?

This is so confusing the bottle woke up on the streets? And pushed itself up? How does it have arms and legs and how is it even capable of thinking? It though to itself.

After a while of just standing in confusion and utter shock it realized it's human not a deposit bottle how the hell- nevermind doesn't matter how it became a human. The better question is how is it supposed to survive without almost no knowledge about how humans live and work. It for some reason know how to speak in the English as well as the Polish language but that's it, it doesn't know anything else, well maybe it should try to figure out by listening to people's conversations or befriending people.

But it needs a name it can't keep calling itself butelka kaucyjna(deposit bottle) especially not when people would ask how to refer to them it would be weird, maybe it should try to come up with something how about Aleks(Alex) it though to itself, it's a good enough name. Now it could actually talk with people or at least try it could also check how it works through the internet if it ever had a phone, it ran it's hand through it's dark brown hair and wondered how it could get money.

 

Eventually after days of searching and eating leftovers that people have thrown out Aleks met someone who seemedwilling to help, his name was Paweł(Paul) at first he didn't seem to want to help with anything especially because of how Aleks looks and smells but after convincing and promising to pay him back he reluctantly agreed, Aleks was just glad someone was willing to help even if they didn't trust it. Paweł even offered it a place to sleep even if he himself didn't have much.

"Więc jak wogule wylądowałoś na ulicy?"(So how did you end up on the streets?)

Asked Paweł to which Aleks replied "Wolałobym o tym nie mówić." (I'd rather not talk about it)

Paweł didn't seem surprised to Aleks's reply, who would like to talk about how they lost their home? "Okej po prostu się upewniam czy mnie nie zamordujesz jak będę spał."(Okay I'm just making sure you won't murder me when I sleep.)

That caught Aleks off guard a bit, not because it's something that happens, it just sounded weird to hear. "Nie martw się nic nie spróbuję." (Don't worry I won't try anything.)

After a while of walking they eventually reach a nice looking house not too expensive but not cheap either.

Before coming inside Paweł stops for a second and opens his mouth to speak. "Jak coś to mam kota ,nie masz alergii nie?"(By the way I have a cat, you don't have an allergy right/no?)

To which Aleks replied. "Nie wydaje mi się."(I don't think so.) And just stood quietly waiting for Paweł to speak up again.

Paweł seemed to pick up on it because he quickly offered Aleks to go inside unlocking the door. Aleks still felt a little awkward but thanked Paweł and slowly but surely stepped inside.

"A i idź pod prysznic śmierdzisz jak śmietnik."(Oh and go take a shower you smell like a trash bin.) Said Paweł, after some time silence he continued. "Dam ci ciuchy które możesz ubrać i potem pomogę ci szukać pracy."(I'll give you clothes that you could wear and her you look for a job.)

Aleks nodded before speaking up. "Dobrze to w którą stronę jest przysznic?" (Alright so which way to the shower?) It asked quietly.

 

Paweł didn't look up. "Po lewej jak pójdziesz dalej prosto."(To the left after you go further straight.) And with that Aleks went to the direction Paweł gave him while Paweł stayed behind eventually going to his room to get clothes for Aleks.

None of them knew that them meeting would change everything forever.

Notes:

I'm so tired but I can't sleep💔

I prolly won't update this or updates will be very irregular since I have no idea how to write

Paweł is pronounced pah-vew I think 🤔

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