Chapter Text
It was a known fact amongst the Bakusquad that Kirishima had depression.
After many sleepovers spent having emotional heart to hearts, and many drunken nights spilling embarrassing secrets to one another, they all knew each other’s struggles.
And besides when they were being attacked every other day and facing life threatening situations together, how could they not bond so deeply?
It was Mina who brought it up first, when they were sharing old embarrassing stories from school. They were in Sero’s room, sat in a circle and doing face masks at their monthly group sleepover.
She poked fun at Kirishima for being so ‘emo’ and distant in middle school, acting like he was ‘too cool for school’. It wasn’t till a few hours later, when they were sharing more personal childhood stories, that Kirishima explained that he wasn’t trying to be cool, and he was actually extremely depressed.
Mina had apologised profusely, feeling terrible as Kirishima told them how he spent his weeks isolating himself in his room, doing nothing but lying in his bed. He barely ate, or slept, or showered, or even brushed his teeth.
He forgave Mina instantly, saying that she couldn’t have known, and that he was much better now.
They asked a lot of questions, shocked that Kirishima, of all people, struggled with depression.
Kirishima was probably the most stable, reliable, and optimistic one among them. It was hard to imagine him being anything but cheerful and encouraging.
Since starting UA, none of them had seen any signs of depression in Kirishima. The Bakusquad even started looking a bit closer after finding out about his past, trying to notice anything they might have missed. But the red head seemed absolutely fine, happier than most actually.
That was until winter came around at least. That was when the squad really saw a change in Kirishima. It crept in slowly. The Bakusquad might’ve even missed it if they weren’t looking, but luckily, they were.
First, around the beginning of October, Kirishima started skipping his daily gym session (which wasn’t too big of a deal since he probably worked out too much anyway).
Towards the end of the month, he started missing homework assignments, his grades dropping ever so slightly.
Bakugo offered more tutoring, but Kirishima declined with a polite smile.
Then he started eating less. At first it was just a few more scraps left over on his plate, but by the start of November, he had started cutting out meals entirely.
The Bakusquad brought food to Kirishima’s room whenever he tried to skip dinner, eating with him there to keep him company as well, even though he didn’t speak as much.
It wasn’t until the end of November/beginning of December, that the change started to become obvious to their classmates. That was when Kirishima had began isolating himself.
He would hide away in his room whenever they got back from school, and decline any offers to go out over the weekend. He wouldn’t join them on movie night or joke around with the Bakusquad in class anymore. There had even been days when he had skipped school entirely, and only messaged Bakugo privately to tell everyone.
Most of the class felt guilty when they looked back on old photos, seeing how much Kirishima had changed and they hadn’t even noticed.
Kirishima’s eyebags got darker, his frame skinnier, his responses shorter.
When his bright red hair needed re-dyeing, the squad had excitedly suggested a sleepover to help him do it, but he declined, saying that he didn’t want to dye it this time. That was particularly worrying, since his hair was one of his main characteristics and he was very proud of it.
His black roots were almost halfway down his hair when they finally left for Christmas.
The Bakusquad tried their best to support Kirishima, but it was hard to give help to someone who didn’t want it.
Kirishima brushed them off whenever they tried to express their concerns, claiming that although he was feeling a little down, he could handle it on his own.
However, despite Kirishima’s weak reassurance, the squad stuck by him.
They increased their number of sleepovers, forcing Kirishima to hang out with them so he wasn’t alone. He didn’t really talk and they never pressured him to, just sat in each other’s company as at least two of them bickered over a game of Mariokart or something.
They often ate with Kirishima in his room, never calling him out when he didn’t finish his dinner.
Bakugo made him lunch and dinner, Mina bought him small gifts like candles and his favourite snacks, Sero waited for him every morning and afternoon to walk with him to and from school (even though it gave him multiple late marks and him and Kirishima even ended up in detention a few times), and Kaminari was extra complimentary, reminding Kirishima how manly he was and sending random encouraging text messages.
Although Kirishima was still obviously depressed, their support was keeping him afloat. He at least wasn’t falling behind, and thanks to their annoying persistence, he wasn’t lonely either.
So of course, everyone was nervous for Christmas break. None of them wanted to leave Kirishima alone, and if he was honest, he didn’t want them to either.
When they all said their goodbyes, they made promises to message each other daily. They also decided to give each other their gifts when they got back, so they had something to look forward to after Christmas.
Mina and Kaminari were usually the main people messaging on the Bakusquad groupchat.
However, while Mina sent actual updates about her life and asked questions, Kaminari would just spam the chat with memes and random facts he found interesting.
Bakugo’s only contribution to the group chat was angry messages telling them to shut up and that it was 3 in the morning, which they all ignored.
Sero and Kirishima were the only people who messaged like normal people, saying actually relevant things.
Of course, even though Kirishima messaged less over Christmas break, they were all relieved that he still kept in contact with them.
They sent pictures of their Christmas trees and decorations, competing with each other for whose house looked most festive.
Since it was a competition, Bakugo went crazy and practically turned his house into the North Pole, just so he could beat the rest of them. Apparently his mom had shouted at him for doubling the electricity bills with all the decorations, which the squad found halarious.
Kirishima, Mina, and Sero had a normal amount of decorations, which they put up together with their families.
Kaminari however, only got his box of Christmas decorations out of the basement on the 21st of December.
He never really bothered with it all, but since the others had put so much effort into theirs, he thought he would too. And besides, they had been demanding photos of his Christmas decorations so they could finally decide on a winner (even though it was obviously already Bakugo).
Kaminari put up his fake christmas tree, which was practically falling apart. It looked so scrawny and pathetic that he almost felt bad for it.
Being the youngest of 4 significantly older siblings, Kaminari was often left behind when it came to all the childhood magic you were supposed to receive when you were young.
Him and his mom tried to keep the Christmas spirit alive after all his siblings moved out, but after she passed, Kaminari found himself alone, and quickly gave up trying to keep the tradition going.
Don’t get him wrong, Kaminari loved his family, but he wasn’t really a part of it. He felt that he was born too late to actually bond with them properly.
He often looked back on old photographs of his parents and older siblings, wishing he could’ve been there when they were actually a happy family.
By the time Kaminari was born, all his siblings were adults. When he was old enough to walk and talk, they moved out. When he started to go through puberty, his mom died.
It was frustrating. He had the family he wanted, but was too late to grow up with any of them.
“What are you doing?” Kaminari’s dad made him jump. He span round, almost falling into an empty cardboard box behind him.
“Dad! Jesus” Kaminari exaggerated his shock, and his dad laughed, walking over to join him in the living room.
“I’m just putting up the Christmas tree”
“We haven’t put that thing up in years, it’s looking a little sad” His dad commented, cringing as its bristles drooped, sprinkling bits of green all over the floor.
“Yeah well, it’s better than nothing” Kaminari shrugged, grabbing tinsel from one of the boxes.
“Wanna help? I’ve just spent like half an hour un-knotting all of the lights and I was thinking we could hang them on the bush outside, after I finish this of course. And also-“
“It looks like you’ve got it covered” His dad chuckled. Which was another way of saying, ‘I don’t care, and no, I don’t want to help’.
Kaminari nodded and turned back to the tree, disappointed, but not surprised.
“I’ve got a Christmas work party in a bit anyway, leftovers are in the fridge if you get hungry” His dad continued casually, putting his expensive watch on.
Kaminari hummed in acknowledgment, listening to his dad rattle around for a few minutes before he shouted goodbye from the front door.
“Bye! Have-“ Kaminari was interrupted by the door swinging shut. “…fun” he finished his sentence quietly, talking to nothing but a big empty house.
He sighed sadly, the tree in front of him looked as miserable as he felt. He willed himself to put on a few more decorations and place the star on top, so it at least looked kind of like a Christmas tree and not a random shrub he’d dragged inside the house.
He finished pretty quickly, feeling very underwhelmed as he stepped back to look at his creation. His disappointment only increased when he turned on the lights, and they only flickered for a moment before dying with a pathetic ‘poof’.
Kaminari pulled out his phone and took a photo of his sad little tree, before slumping into the couch.
He sent the photo on the Bakusquad group chat.
Sparky:
Plz be kind
She’s had a rough few years
Pinky:
What is that?!
Lanky:
Dude…
Lord Explosion Murder:
Are you fucking kidding me?!!!
I put in all that effort and you just did THAT?!
That’s not even a Christmas tree it’s a fucking branch!!!
Sparky:
I’m sorry!! 😭
It’s all I have!!!
Lanky:
Did it get run over or something?
Pinky:
Where are the lights?
Sparky:
They don’t work
Lanky:
That’s actually so bad it’s halarious 💀
Pinky:
Kami…
Babe….
That’s terrible
Sparky:
I TRIED MY BEST 😭😭
Lord Explosion Murder:
THATS your best?!
Sparky:
It’s all I have!! 😭
Lanky:
I thought ur mom loved Christmas?
Is that the only decoration u have?
Sparky:
Well yeah…
Pinky:
Sero!
Lanky:
Sorry
I didn’t mean it like that
Sparky:
It’s fine
Does this mean I get sympathy points?
Pinky:
lol
Lord Explosion Murder:
Hell no!
Your still last
Sparky:
🥺
Lord Explosion Murder:
Shut up
Sparky:
I didn’t even say anything
Pinky:
I think we can all agree Kiri won
Lord Explosion Murder:
WHAT!!!?
Lanky:
Agreed
Sparky:
absolutely
Lord Explosion Murder:
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!?!!?
I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU!!!!!
Pinky:
😘
Sparky:
Love u too bro 👊
Lanky:
💀
Kaminari smiled at his phone.
It didn’t go unnoticed by any of them that Kirishima didn’t respond to any of those messages, however, they didn’t think too much about it. He had been texting them throughout Christmas break, and was probably just busy this evening.
So Kaminari relaxed, changing into his pyjamas and snuggling up with a blanket in front of the TV. He heat up the leftovers in the fridge and started Home Alone, his favourite Christmas movie.
At some point during the movie, Kaminari had drifted off, falling asleep with a half eaten bowl of pasta on his lap. He was so comfy, and probably wouldn’t have woken up if it wasn’t for his phone suddenly blowing up.
He picked it up tiredly, squinting at the screen as he adjusted to the light.
When he finally focused enough to read the first message that appeared after their last conversation, his heart stopped.
Sharky:
I can’t do this
I’m so tired
I’m sorry
Pinky:
What?
Lanky:
Kiri?
Is everything okay?
What’s going on?
Pinky:
Kiri what’s wrong?
Lord explosion murder:
Answer our damn messages shitty hair!!?
Kirishima?!!
Kaminari scrolled to the bottom of the messages, where Sero, Mina, and Bakugo were still spamming the chat, begging Kirishima to respond.
He had sent the first message 6 minutes ago. The others lived too far away, but Kaminari only lived 10 minutes from Kirishima’s house.
Sparky:
Kiri I’m coming round
He quickly put on the group chat, not waiting for a response from Kirishima before he was scrambling his shoes on and stumbling out the front door.
He almost forgot to grab keys, quickly locking the door behind him before he started sprinting. His phone clutched in one hand and keys in the other.
It was raining, and Kaminari’s vest and pyjama trousers were soaked in no time, not that they were keeping him very warm in the first place.
But Kaminari didn’t think about it. He just ran. It felt like hours, but also seconds. The streets were empty, since it was the middle of the night. They were dusted with sludgy snow, wet and slippery as the rain turned it into icy clumps.
Kaminari could feel the icy water soak through his old trainers as he splashed in all the puddles, reminding him that he wasn’t wearing any socks as it seeped uncomfortably between his toes.
He ran, his head empty and his body moving for him. He barely even processed the route he was taking before he was in front of Kirishima’s house, panting frantically and banging on the front door.
He could see his breath in front of him in the cold air.
“KIRI!!” Kamianri shouted over the rain, not even thinking about the neighbours as he walked around the house, peeking through all the windows.
It was a small, two bedroom bungalow that Kirishima shared with his moms, and it was the most homely home Kaminari had ever been in.
It was full of cheesy signs, like ‘live laugh love’, and ‘exercise? I thought you said extra fries!’. It had candles and blankets and soft rugs and pictures and paintings and funky mugs.
And Kaminari could see it all from the windows, the only thing that was missing was Kirishima and his moms.
The lights were on, but there was no car in the driveway. Kaminari tried to open the front door, but it was locked. He grunted frustratedly, looking at his phone to check for any messages, but it was only Sero telling Kaminari to text them when he found Kirishima.
Kaminari looked around the house desperately, eventually hopping the fence into the back garden and finding Kirishima’s bedroom window. He peered through, knocking frantically on the glass.
On the floor in the middle of the room, Kirishima’s phone was lying face down, right beside an almost empty bottle of Baileys.
Kaminari reacted calm and collected to this, by grabbing a rock and swinging it against the window. The glass shattered all over Kirishima’s bed and Kaminari muttered apologies as he climbed in, landing on the bed with his muddy, wet shoes.
He picked up Kirishima’s phone, showing all the unread messages on the Bakusquad group chat.
“KIRISHIMA?” Kaminari immediately began searching the house, swinging doors open and dripping rain water all over the clean carpets.
He would have to apologise for that later, but right now the only thing on his mind was finding Kirishima.
The house looked completely normal, cozy even. The TV was on, playing some random family game show, and Christmas decorations were hung up around the living room.
Kaminari noticed the bathroom light was on under the door, and he immediately tried barge in, only to find it locked.
“Kiri?!!” Kamianri banged on the door, uselessly continuing to shake the handle.
“Kiri you in there?!” He asked, stopping for a moment to press his ear against the door.
He heard the tap running from the other side, the audience from the TV was laughing behind him.
“Come on bro open the door!” Kaminari called, growing more nervous.
Another beat of silence.
“Fuck it” Kaminari mumbled under his breath before he took a step back.
He threw himself against the door with all his body weight, breaking it down and destroying the wooden frame it was attached to.
He landed on the bathroom floor hard, almost hitting his head on the sink as he fell. He didn’t have time to check himself for injuries as he looked up to see Kirishima lying unconscious next to him.
“KIRI!” Kaminari quickly got to his knees, leaning over Kirishima’s body.
The TV audience laughed again in the background and Kamianri could feel his heart in his throat.
Kirishima looked like shit, dark eyes, pale skin, tear tracks down his face, but Kaminari couldn’t see any injuries. He rolled Kirishima onto his back and tapped his cheek lightly, calling his name to get him to wake up.
Kirishima didn’t react. Kaminari remembered the first aid training they did at UA, and pulled himself together enough to check Kirishima’s breathing a heart rate, which were both alarmingly slow.
He looked around frantically, confused what happened, until his eyes landed on the orange pill bottle behind him.
“Shit” Kaminari’s face fell and he scrambled to get his phone out of his pocket.
“Fuck” The phone shook in his hands as he called an ambulance.
Kaminari put the phone on speaker and threw it on the floor next to him. He dragged Kirishima’s body up into a sitting position as it rang and forcefully rammed two fingers down his friend’s throat, triggering Kirishima’s gag reflex.
As soon as someone answered the phone, they barely got to ask what the emergency was before Kaminari cut them off, blurting out Kirishima’s address.
Kirishima gagged, his body jerking forwards. Kaminari held him in place, holding his limp body upright as he tried to make Kirishima throw up whatever he had taken.
“What’s the emergency?” The woman on the other line asked again, uninterrupted this time.
“I need an ambulance, my friend’s taken some pills and is unconscious, his heart rate and breathing are slow” Kaminari reported automatically, barely recognising what he was saying.
He quickly took his hand away from Kirishima’s face when he finally started throwing up, spewing vomit all other the floor and Kaminari.
“An ambulance is on its way. How much has the patient taken?” The woman asked robotically.
“I don’t know, there’s only one bottle but I don’t know how much was in there” Kaminari was surprised at how steady his voice was, especially when he felt like he was going to break down any second.
The woman asked another question, but Kaminari missed it. He was too busy holding Kirishima as his body convulsed. The gagging set off a chain reaction as he started throwing up more than expected.
Kirishima started to gasp for air between gags. After a minute of throwing up, he had nothing left.
He dry heaved and coughed violently, his head lulling slightly, but his eyes stayed closed and his body limp. Kaminari tried calling his name, but he didn’t respond.
Kaminari only held onto him for a moment longer, before he was suddenly dragged away by paramedics.
He panicked at first, flinching back and looking up at them in a daze. But when he realised who they were, he quickly let go of Kirishima.
Kaminari was pushed back till he was just watching from the corridor. His wide eyes stayed glued on Kirishima.
The parmedics worked quickly, hauling Kirishima on a stretcher and into the back of an ambulance. Kaminari followed closely, not letting the paramedics take Kirishima out of his line of sight.
When Kaminari stepped outside the house, the neighbours were gathered at the front of their own homes, peeking outside nosily to see what all the noise was about.
Kaminari rode in the back of the ambulance with Kirishima, holding his hand tightly all the way.
The whole ride was a blur. Kaminari barely noticed all the sirens and flashing lights, it all seemed to rush past him while he was just stuck watching.
He vaguely registered the paramedics asking for his and Kiri’s names, but he wasn’t entirely sure if he answered.
Kaminari followed Kirishima as far as he was allowed, eventually finding himself standing in the middle of a hospital corridor, as his best friend was taken into an emergency room.
One of the nurses had to push him back, saying reassuring words that he couldn’t quite make out before he was left behind. All he understood was ‘waiting room’ and ‘let the doctors do their job’.
Kaminari stared at the door to the room Kirishima was in, finally processing what just happened now that everything had suddenly stopped. He was still panting, his eyes wide and frantic.
He looked up and down the long white corridor he was in. He was completely alone. A strong medicinal hospital smell filled his lungs, which always reminded him of his mom.
Kaminari’s head was spinning. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins like he was still in a life or death situation.
In reality, he was just standing alone in an empty corridor, but his head hadn’t quite caught up to that yet.
He didn’t know which way the waiting room was. He couldn’t think.
He slowly looked down, shakily pulling Kirishima’s phone out of his pocket, since he’d left his own in the bathroom.
“Kirishima?!” Bakugo answered immediately, startling Kaminari, who hadn’t realised he’d called the Bakusquad group chat.
“Kiri you there?!” Bakugo asked, his voice on edge.
Kaminari gripped the phone harder, holding it closer to his ear as his throat closed up and his vision blurred with tears. He was still breathing heavily, which Bakugo clearly noticed, because the next thing he said was; “it’s okay, breathe, everything’s fine”
A sob was ripped from Kaminari’s throat, surprised by how gentle Bakugo sounded, and another wave of dread crashed over him, because everything was definitely not fine and he had to tell them that.
“H-he’s not- I c-can’t-“ Kaminari stuttered, not sure what he was trying to say as he started to cry uncontrollably.
“Wait, Sparky?” Bakugo asked, confused.
“What’s going on? Where’s Kirishima?”
Kaminari felt like he couldn’t even breathe at this point. He scrambled to put a sentence together before Bakugo got annoyed at him for taking too long.
“H-he’s in h-hospital” Kaminari stuttered, his voice breaking at every word.
“Kiri! What’s going on?” Mina’s voice suddenly chimed through the phone as she joined the call.
“Not Kiri, it’s Dunceface” Bakugo snapped. “Why are you in hospital? What happened?” He asked quickly, brushing over Mina.
“Wait hospital?!” Mina repeated worriedly.
Kaminari was starting to feel light headed and he put his hand out to lean against the wall, but as soon as he did, he gasped as a sharp pain shot through his shoulder.
He couldn’t seem to catch his breath and the looming white corridor stretching in front of him was spinning uncontrollably.
“Kami what going on? You’re freaking me out!” Mina cried worriedly.
“I-I can’t-“ Kaminari was so dizzy he could barely tell if he was standing upright at this point. He was surprised that no one had stumbled across him yet. He wasn’t sure if he wanted them to.
Kaminari didn’t want anyone to see him like this, but it would be so embarrassing if he passed out in a hospital corridor when he was supposed to be here for Kirishima.
“Kaminari, look around, tell me where you are” Bakugo ordered.
“H-hospital” Kaminari replied automatically. His knees felt weak and Bakugo’s voice was starting to sound muffled.
“Details Denki, tell me what you see”
Kaminari looked around, even though it made him feel even more dizzy. Black dots swam in his vision, but he blinked harshly, forcing himself to stay standing.
“Um- I-I’m in a c-corridor-“ Kaminari stuttered between desperate gasps for air.
“Hey guys, what’s-“
“SHUT IT TAPE DISPENSER!!” Bakugo immediately cut Sero off.
“What does the corridor look like?” He asked Kaminari, his voice gentle again.
“Hey! I didn’t even-“
“Shut up Sero!!!” Mina yelled this time.
Sero huffed, but stayed quiet. They listened to Kaminari hyperventilating through the phone as he tried to get his eyes to focus on his surroundings.
“Sparky?”
“I-I don’t k-know, it’s l-long?” Kaminari said hesitantly, not really knowing what to say about it. It was just a random corridor.
“What colour are the walls?” Bakugo asked.
“White”
“Are there any windows?”
Kaminari shook his head.
“Words Dunceface” Bakugo reminded him.
“N-no”
“Doors?”
“Yes”
“How many?”
Kaminari looked up and down, taking a moment to count how many doors he could see.
“I don’t know, l-like, s-seven-eight?” He guessed, his vision still blurry.
“Which one is it, seven or eight?”
He counted again, forcing air into his lungs so his head would stop spinning and he could give Bakugo an answer.
It was only then that he realised that Bakugo wasn’t asking these questions to find out where he was, he was trying to get Kaminari to calm down. And thankfully, it was working.
“Seven” Kaminari answered, his voice more sturdy than it was a second ago.
“What colour are they?”
“W-White”
“Same as the walls?”
“No, darker”
“Any writing on them?“
Kaminari squinted, reading the sign opposite the room Kirishima was in.
“Um- r-room 6F” He read.
The rest of the sign read, ‘emergency unit’, but Kaminari didn’t read that part out loud to avoid scaring the squad, who still didn’t know what was going on.
He took a deep breath, in through his nose and out through his mouth. Slow and deliberate. He still felt shaky, but at least he wasn’t about to pass out any more.
“Sparky?-“
“I’m o-okay” Kaminari interrupted before Bakugo continued his questioning. “Thank you”
“Someone wanna tell me what the fuck is going on?” Sero asked.
Kaminari almost forgot he had joined the call.
“Kiri’s in hospital, he took some pills, I-I found him unconscious” Kaminari finally revealed, feeling his eyes well up again.
“Shit” Sero blurted out.
There was a moment of silence as they all processed the information.
“Is anyone with you?” Bakugo asked. They could hear shuffling from his side of the line.
“No, his moms weren’t home, as soon as I got here I just called you guys” Kaminari admitted.
“I’m leaving now, I can pick you guys up on the way?” Bakugo suggested, and Mina and Sero were quick to accept the offer.
“We’ll meet you in the waiting room Sparky, okay?”
Kaminari felt a wave of nervousness at the thought of being left alone again, even though, technically, they were never actually here with him.
“Okay” Kaminari agreed anxiously, starting to walk down the corridor and back to where he first entered the building, hoping it was the way to the waiting room.
“Sit tight Denks, we’ll be there soon” Sero said before they all hung up.
Kaminari was plunged back into his current reality, in which, he was surrounded by beeping and machines and medicines and sick people.
He hated hospitals. Of course most people did, but it was different for him. He didn’t exactly associate hospitals with getting better.
He took a deep breath, and kept walking till he found the waiting room.
As soon as he walked in, people stopped to stare at him. One parent even pulled their kid closer, wrapping an arm round them protectively.
Kaminari couldn’t bring himself to smile awkwardly, so he just hung his head in shame.
He wasn’t particularly concerned about his appearance, but everyone’s eyes had him walking towards the toilets before he had a chance to sit down.
He kept his head down as he walked, suddenly very conscious that he clearly looked out of place. He immediately understood why when he entered the men’s toilets.
Kaminari was not only covered in vomit, but he was also still wearing his pyjamas, which were definitely not appropriate clothes for the middle of winter.
He cringed at the stains on his clothes, a fresh wave of tears falling down his face as he tried not to gag. It was disgusting.
He walked over to a sink and washed his bare skin with the cold water.
As he cleaned himself, he began to notice an increasingly painful throbbing in his shoulder. He hadn’t noticed it before, but as he examined it more carefully in the mirror, he finally saw the subtle shade of red and blue beginning to taint his skin.
He turned to see the unnatural angle it was shifted from the back, and he immediately knew it was dislocated.
“Shit” Kaminari cursed under his breath, remembering how hard he’d thrown himself against the bathroom door.
He was surprised he hadn’t felt it before, but now that the adrenaline was wearing off it was definitely making itself more difficult to ignore. The dull throbbing he felt now was only going to get worse if he didn’t reset it.
Kaminari looked around to check he was alone before lining his shoulder up with the edge of one of the walls of the toilet stalls.
He was aware that he was in a hospital, and finding someone to help him reset his shoulder would be easy, but he didn’t want to go through the whole process of explaining what happened, being taken into another room, given medication and have them call his dad or siblings and have to explain to even more people what had happened.
He wanted to be here, and he wanted to be the first to find out whatever update the doctors had to give about his best friend. He didn’t want any distractions.
So he screwed his eyes shut, covered his mouth, and took a deep breath before ramming his shoulder into the wall.
A sickening crack echoed through the white sterile room and Kaminari cried out in pain, the sound muffled slightly by his hand.
He kept his eyes closed, breathing through the pain. He felt the instant relief of having his shoulder set straight again, however it was still uncomfortably sore and he knew it was going to get more painful with time.
He opened his eyes, once again examining himself in the mirror.
His shoulder was not too noticeable at the moment, but in a few hours it would be a disgusting mixture of black and blue.
He was covered in goosebumps, and he could physically see his body shivering violently, but he didn’t feel cold.
His plain white vest and thin pyjama trousers were still damp from running in the rain earlier, only making things worse.
He knelt down to tie his shoelaces (because apparently he forgot to do them up before he left), but quickly gave up when he couldn’t even get his numb, trembling fingers to pick up the laces.
It wasn’t really an improvement. He still looked like a wreck, but at least he didn’t have anymore dislocated limbs and he wasn’t covered in vomit.
He accepted that he just looked like shit, not even bothering to try and cover up his blotchy, tear stained face or damp, frantic hair.
His best friend had just tried to kill himself, so Kamianri’s good looks weren’t exactly his top priority right now.
He took a deep shaky breath, leaving the toilets with his head held low again, refusing to meet anyone’s eye as he awkwardly sat down in the corner of the waiting room.
He pulled Kirishima’s phone from his pocket, unable to stop his hands shaking and vision blurring at the mere sight of it.
The lock screen was a photo of the squad at the arcade, Kaminari remembered when it was taken. It was last summer, the first they all spent together.
They hung out almost everyday. It was warm and sunny. It felt like lifetimes ago now as Kaminari sat in the hospital shaking like a leaf, feeling like his chest was caved in.
He unlocked the phone, scrolling through Kiri’s contacts till he found one of his moms.
He stared at it for a long time, hesitating.
He couldn’t let his moms return home to whatever mess he had left behind and just wait for them to find out from someone else. They needed to be here. Kiri needed them.
Kaminari closed his eyes, taking a moment to compose himself. He pressed call quickly before he could chicken out.
The phone rang for what felt like centuries, and Kaminari forced himself to breathe, despite the crushing weight on his chest.
“Hi Sweetheart, me and your mom are on our way home now, sorry we’re running a bit late, you okay?”
Kaminari’s heart shattered at the sound of Kiri’s mom’s voice. The last remaining piece of his chest caving in and leaving him hollow.
He looked up at the ceiling, desperately trying to keep the tears in as he willed his voice to work.
“Mrs Kirishima, it’s Kaminari” He somehow managed to speak without his voice breaking, although tears still spilled down his face.
“Oh Kaminari! How are you honey? I didn’t know you were coming round tonight, where’s Eijiro?” Kiri’s mom ask innocently.
Kaminari bit the inside of his mouth hard, screwing his eyes shut.
“That’s- um-“ Kaminari’s voice shook slightly and sighed shakily, leaning forward in his seat and putting his head in his hand.
“That’s why I’m calling. Um- there was an accident”
“What kind of accident, what’s going on? Are you okay?” Mrs Kirishima’s voice grew more tense.
“It’s Kiri” Kaminari’s voice broke and he sniffled.
“He took some pills, he’s in hospital right now” He quickly blurted out the rest before he could break down.
There was a deafening moment of silence.
Kaminari heard rushed talking on the other line, presumably Mrs Kirishima informing her wife of the situation. He wiped his tears, which was useless as they were quickly replaced anyway.
“Alright we’re about half an hour away, are you with him?” Kiri’s mom asked quickly, her voice suddenly rushed and serious.
“I’m in the waiting room, I haven’t heard anything yet, we only got here about 20 minutes ago” Kaminari answered, shocking himself by how short of a time he’d been here, it felt like days ago he was sitting at home watching home alone, blissfully unaware of how his evening would go.
“Okay, you call me when you find out anything, do you understand?” Mrs Kirishima’s voice was slightly intimidating, Kaminari had never heard her so serious.
“Of course” Kaminari responded immediately.
“I mean it Kaminari, Anything” She repeated, emphasising the last word.
Kaminari felt his throat close up. He knew what the meant. If Kirishima was dead, Kaminari had to tell them.
“Yeah okay” Kaminari nodded, closing his eyes again.
“We’ll see you soon” Kirishima’s mom abruptly hung up.
She wasn’t usually so blunt, but Kaminari couldn’t fault her, considering the circumstances.
He put the phone on his lap and frantically wiped his tears, slouching further in his seat.
This sucked. The statement was obvious, but he couldn’t find a better way to describe this whole situation. It just fucking sucked.
He couldn’t seem to catch a moment of peace either, because he only sat with his head in his hands for a few seconds before Bakugo’s loud voice was echoing from round the corner.
He stood up from his seat, his legs felt wobbly and weak.
He was starting to feel how cold he truly was now, and his shivering was intensifying to a comical level. He felt like a cartoon character, his limbs so tense and trembling so aggressively he could hardly control them.
He left the waiting room and rounded the corner to see the squad huddled round the reception desk, hurriedly talking over each other.
The poor lady at reception looked overwhelmed, trying and failing to get a word in between their frantic questions.
“Guys” Kaminari called out weakly, walking towards them. He could tell by their reactions that he looked as awful as he felt.
Their faces fell at the sight of him, cringing as they looked him up and down. Mina ran forward, instantly pulling Kaminari into a crushing hug. He hugged back, leaning into the warmth gratefully.
“Kami you’re freezing!” Mina said, shocked. She pulled back, quickly pulling off her baby pink coat and wrapping it round him.
Kaminari would’ve protested, but he couldn’t find it in himself to put up a fight. He huddled into the coat, pulling it tightly round his shivering form without a word, gripping onto it tightly.
“Where’s Kiri?” Sero asked, him and Bakugo were suddenly standing right in front of Kaminari, either sides of Mina as she continued to look at him pityingly.
Kaminari shrugged, wincing slightly when his shoulder protested at the movement.
“They took him into the emergency unit when we got here, I haven’t heard anything since” Kaminari’s voice sounded weak and hollow.
“Oh Kami” Mina stepped closer again, putting her arm round him and rubbing his arm as a weak attempt to warm him up. He leaned in closer to her, desperate for warmth.
“Has anyone contacted his moms?” Bakugo asked.
“They’re on their way” Kaminari nodded.
“You told to them?” Sero asked, his expression twisting with pity.
Kaminari nodded again weakly, looking down as he felt his throat close up.
“How did that go?”
Kaminari took a deep breath, trying to keep his emotions at bay.
“Fine” He forced out quickly, his voice breaking immediately. Tears welled up in his eyes and he blinked frantically to stop them escaping.
“Do you know what Kiri took?” Mina asked.
Kaminari was trying desperately not to fall apart and compose himself enough to answer his friends properly, he could feel their intense curiosity and the pressure for answers was on him again.
“Um-“ Kaminari tried to think back to the pill bottle he saw on the floor, but the memory made his chest tighten and a sob bubble up in his throat. He swallowed thickly.
Thankfully, Bakugo spoke up before he could break down.
“Let’s sit down, stop asking Sparky questions, he just said he doesn’t know anything” He demanded, and Kaminari had never been more grateful.
“Right sorry” Sero agreed, moving to the other side of Kaminari to huddle close to him as they walked back towards the waiting room.
“How did u guys get here?” Kaminari asked as they sat down, suddenly noticing none of their parents were here.
“My dad drove, he’s just parking the car” Bakugo explained, taking off his coat.
To Kaminari’s surprise, Bakugo swung his coat over Kaminari’s shoulders, over the top of Mina’s coat.
“You don’t need to-“
“Shut up, you look like you’re about to die of hypothermia, stupid doctors should’ve given you something to keep you warm already, what kind of hospital is this?” Bakugo complained, dropping to his knees to tie Kaminari’s shoes.
Kaminari opened his mouth to protest again, but was interrupted when Sero put his coat over the top of Bakugo’s.
“I think that’s enough coats” Kaminari joked, although he pulled them tighter around him, melting into the warmth.
Bakugo’s dad suddenly appeared in front of them, walking quickly down the corridor with a concerned look on his face.
“Oh my goodness, you look freezing” He gasped worriedly, taking his coat off.
“Here, this’ll warm you up” He said as he pulled his coat over the top of the others, patting Kaminari’s shoulder.
“Thank you” Kaminari winced slightly, feeling the weight of all the coats pressing down painfully on his shoulder, but he was too cold to care.
“Any updates yet?” Bakugo’s dad asked solemnly.
“No, we’re still waiting, Kiri’s moms are on their way” Bakugo answered, standing back up to face his dad.
His dad nodded in understanding, looking down at Kaminari sympathetically.
“I’m sure everything will be fine” He smiled reassuringly, but Kaminari looked down as he felt tears fill his eyes again. He forced himself to nod, though he wasn’t convinced.
Everyone told him the exact same thing when his mom was in hospital.
Kaminari felt Mina’s hand on his shoulder in support, though he could barely feel it through all the coats. He sighed deeply, sitting back in his chair and pulling his knees to his chest, huddling into the coats.
No one else said anything.
Bakugo and his dad quietly sat down, and they waited in silence, listening to the busy hospital operate around them.