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The walk back to Hearts House dormitory on Thursdays was always something Juun hated. The streets were packed, student council meeting had just ended, and most of all, she had to put up with her roommate Yuna spending the entire walk babbling about her situationship with a senior.
“I think she’s avoiding me,” Yuna muttered, staring absent-mindedly at the evening sky.
Juun didn’t even look at her—she just stared at the traffic light, waiting for it to turn green.
“What did you do this time?”
“I asked her about last year’s proposals for the autumn festival.”
“And?”
“She told me I would find them in the second cabinet, third shelf.”
Juun glanced at Yuna. “Did you find it?”
“Yeah.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
Yuna puffed out her cheeks. “She should have walked me there and helped me find it! That would be romantic.”
Juun scoffed. “You idiot. You should have just asked her to and she would’ve done it.”
“But then it wouldn’t count!”
“Count as what exactly?”
“Well,” Yuna looked away, kicking a pebble out of the sidewalk. “She should understand without me asking! She’s literally the smartest girl in school.”
Juun rolled her eyes. “And you’re probably the most airheaded one.”
Almost as if she just won the argument, Yuna grinned ear to ear. “That’s why we’re such a perfect match.”
Juun couldn’t help but sigh. “Whatever you say.”
When the light finally turned green, they both crossed the street.
Conversations like these had become almost a weekly ritual at this point, ever since Yuna took over Haram’s position as the student council’s secretary earlier this year. Since then, she had somehow managed to turn every interaction with the older girl into evidence that either everything was going perfectly…
…or that everything was falling apart.
There was rarely anything in between.
Fortunately for Juun, it was only on Thursdays that she had to keep up with Yuna’s nonsense. Being the leader of the school’s modern dance club—as well as one of the most popular girls in school—sure had its benefits. There was always another practice, another club activity, another invitation to go somewhere after class.
But as exhausting as her roommate could be, at least Yuna had the courage to overthink out loud.
Juun wished she could do the same.
Being popular never made things any easier—except for pretending. Smiling came naturally, and so did laughing. Teasing people was even easier.
Admitting that she wanted to spend more time with one particular person, though… was something harder than anything she had ever wanted.
“We’re home.”
Yuna stepped inside Hearts House dormitory, with Juun behind her stretching her arms above her head with a groan.
“I’m changing first,” Yuna muttered, already slipping off her shoes.
“Yeah, yeah.”
Without waiting for a response, Yuna disappeared down the hallway toward their room. Juun, meanwhile, stopped when she noticed Carmen sitting alone at the dining table with a calculus workbook open in front of her.
“Studying out here?” she asked, walking over.
Carmen looked up and nodded. “Mm-hm.”
Juun rested a hand on the back of the chair opposite to her. Her eyes wandered briefly to the untouched workbook and the unopened pencil case before returning to Carmen.
“I’m thinking of grabbing something to eat after changing. Wanna come?”
Carmen didn’t answer immediately.
“...Maybe next time.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I should study.”
Juun glanced at the workbook once more.
“Right.” A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Don’t overdo it, okay?”
“Okay. Thanks, Juun.”
With that, Juun slung her bag over her shoulder again and headed inside her and Yuna’s room.
She almost asked why Carmen wasn’t studying in her room. Almost. If that could even count as studying, anyway.
Instead, she let the question disappear with the sound of the door clicking shut, and the dorm fell silent once again.
Yuna, halfway through changing into her hoodie, looked over her shoulder.
“You know, most people knock,” she said matter-of-factly. “Pervert.”
Juun didn’t even spare her a glance or a word. She let her backpack slide off her shoulder before collapsing face-first onto the lower bunk.
“...Hey.”
Still no response.
Yuna finished pulling her oversized hoodie over her head and looked across the room.
“What happened while I left you outside?”
“...Nothing,” Juun mumbled into the pillow.
“Liar.”
“Leave me alone.”
Yuna sneered at her. “‘Kay.”
The room grew still, save for the sound of viral TikToks playing from Yuna’s phone. She started scrolling mindlessly on multiple social medias immediately after climbing to the top bunk. Juun didn’t mind that—perhaps it could distract her from the thoughts running in her mind, and at least it wasn’t as annoying as Yuna rambling on about her favorite senior.
Well, Juun should have learned not to jinx it.
“This cat looks like Stella eonni. No, wait—she’s louder.”
Juun didn’t answer. Yuna scrolled to the next video.
“Wait, it’s raining lemons in Indonesia?”
No answer. Yuna frowned before scooting to the edge of her bed, phone in hand.
“Hey, Juun. Is this AI? It’s raining lemons in Indonesia.”
She leaned over the railing, dangling her arm so the screen hung upside down just above Juun’s face. It showed a video of some news telling the incident of lemons showering across multiple cities.
A faint sigh escaped Juun.
“Oh.” Yuna beamed. “You’re still alive, after all.”
Juun turned her head, enough for one eye to peek out of the pillow. “Can you stop yapping for a minute?”
“Harsh.”
“You’re such a pain in the ass.”
“You know, you wouldn’t be nearly as popular if people knew you talk like this outside school.”
“Shut up, dimwit.”
“Okay, okay.”
Yuna smiled to herself before flopping back to her mattress, curling up against the wall with her phone.
She wasn’t planning on shutting up, though.
“...Do you think Haram eonni likes mackerel?”
Juun paid her no mind.
“Juun?”
“Mm.”
“It’s my favorite food,” Yuna continued. “Maybe I can cook some braised mackerel for us one day.”
“I don’t care.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“Then stop asking.”
Yuna gave her roommate another good look before sinking back against the wall, hugging a pillow to her chest.
The room went quiet again, especially now that Yuna had toned down the volume of her phone’s speakers, but even that eventually faded out as she got tired of the mindless scrolling, slamming her body onto the bed.
Juun appreciated that. After being barraged by her roommate’s gibberish for so long, the silence felt nice. She buried her face deeper into the pillow, trying to relax, only to realize that the silence only gave her thoughts more room to echo.
She clicked her tongue.
“...Yuna.”
“Mm?” Yuna hummed, peeking over the edge of the top bunk.
Juun waited for a while.
“...Never mind.”
Yuna just raised an eyebrow. “Okay.”
Silence settled between them for who knows how many times already as Juun frowned into her pillow. It was inevitable that any second now, Yuna would ask what she wanted to say, pestering her until she gave in. She always did.
Or at least, that was what Juun had thought.
Instead, she got… nothing.
Just silence.
…
Was that it?
After all that yapping, Yuna suddenly decided that now was the perfect time to respect her boundaries?
“...You’re not going to ask?”
Juun rolled her body, just enough so that her face was fully showing.
Yuna blinked. “You asked me to leave you alone.”
“...Right.”
Juun lowered her gaze to the edges of her bed, while Yuna went back to her phone.
“...I hate you,” Juun muttered.
Yuna just smiled without looking up.
“I love you too.”
“...Can I ask you something?”
This time, Yuna put her phone down and stared into the wall.
“I’m listening.”
“...Do people get tired of someone that quickly?”
Yuna tilted her head. “Maybe?”
“You’re not helping.” Juun frowned, letting Yuna see.
“I’m thinking!” Yuna laid on her back, staring at the ceiling while still hugging her pillow.
“How quickly is ‘quickly’?” she asked.
“...Beats me.”
“Now you’re not helping.”
“...”
Juun buried her face back into the pillow.
She couldn’t say it. She had already said too much. The question was never hypothetical in the first place, and the two of them knew it. They had been roommates for too long to hide much from each other, even if they never meant to.
But Juun still refused to answer out loud.
Yuna rolled to her side. “You wanna tell me what happened?”
“...Not really.”
“Okay.”
Almost as if against her will, Juun eventually let the words slip out of her lips.
“...She’s just… been weird lately.”
Yuna stayed quiet, listening intently.
“We used to hang out all the time. Sometimes she was even the one inviting.”
Juun rubbed her thumb against the pillowcase.
“But recently… it feels like she’s always somewhere else.”
“You do know she needs to study, right?” Yuna said. “Maybe she’s preparing for the entrance exam.”
Juun frowned. “In Korea?”
“Can she not?”
“...I don’t know.”
She did know that Carmen wasn’t actually studying—or at least it didn’t look like that. Her pencil case hadn’t even been opened.
But maybe she was preparing for a Korean university, and if that were true, then Carmen might still be around for another four years.
The thought made her chest feel lighter. Just a little.
It still didn’t explain why Carmen had been avoiding her, though. If anything, it only made it harder to understand.
If she really was staying, then why had she suddenly stopped reaching for Juun the way she used to?
Yuna sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the top bunk.
“Well, if it were Haram eonni,” she said, “I would probably just ask.”
Juun’s eyes drifted to the pair of dangling legs before she snorted. “Liar.”
“Okay, yeah, maybe not.” Yuna started laughing at herself.
“Definitely not.”
“...But I would still keep bothering her. Get in the way of her study sessions. Force her to go eat with me.”
“...Even if she kept saying no?”
“Well… yeah. Because I want her in my life.”
“...”
Juun lowered her eyes. It sounded so easy when Yuna said it, but she knew she could never be that straightforward.
“You know, I think you’re thinking too much,” Yuna said after a while.
“And you’re not thinking enough.”
“It has its perk sometimes.”
Juun let out a quiet scoff. “Probably.”
As ridiculous as Yuna could be, Juun was beginning to suspect she wasn’t much better.
Maybe they were both idiots—just in different ways.
Neither girl said another word, but this time, there wasn’t as much noise in Juun’s head.
It was comfortable.
“...Hey.”
“Hm?”
Juun cleared her throat. “You wanna go grab some dinner?”
Yuna’s legs stopped swinging. “I thought you wanted to be left alone?”
“Ugh, don’t be such a brat.”
“Fine, fine, I’ll come.” Yuna skipped a few rungs of the ladder, landing with a soft thump on the floor. “I’m craving some soboro bread.”
Juun sat up on her bed. “I thought you wanted mackerel.”
“That’s reserved for dinner with my lovely Yu Haram,” said Yuna as she put on her socks.
Juun sneered at the cheesy remark.
“Ew. Gross.”
“Whatever.” Yuna was already at the door, holding it open. “You’re coming or what?”
Although rolling her eyes at first, Juun stood up from her bed with a faint smile.
“Coming.”
The two left their room, passing by Carmen still studying in the living room.
“Eonni, we’re going to the bakery. Want anything?” asked Juun.
Carmen looked up from her workbook and smiled apologetically.
“I’ll pass. But thanks, Juun.”
“Okay.”
The two roommates walked through the hallway and slipped on their shoes before stepping out into the cool September evening.
For the first few steps, none of them said anything. Just silence—the same warm and comfortable one as before. Then, without warning, Yuna hooked her arm around Juun’s as naturally as if she had done it a hundred times before.
“Bread’s on you.”
Juun looked down at the arm linked with hers.
“Since when?”
“Since you invited me.”
Juun clicked her tongue.
“Brat.”
“The brat you love.”
“Don’t push it.”
Yuna giggled. Juun could only sigh.
But she never loosened her arm.
If anything, she found herself holding on just a little tighter as they disappeared into the evening crowd.