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Talia had truly hoped that she could have freed Vrisa. She had imagined riding up to Fletchersholding, calling Vrisa’s name, and Vrisa coming running to mount up behind her, grateful to be free at last.
But that wasn't what had happened.
Vrisa had changed so much over the past nine years. She was no longer the kind, loving older sister who had been so patient with Talia and helped her.
No.
Now she was a FirstWife with status, littles, and an entire Hold to run as she saw fit, and no love or fondness for the shunned baby sister. Instead, Vrisa had made signs against evil and refused to even look at Talia.
The ride back to Haven had left Talia contemplative and filled with grief for what might have been, for what could have been if not for the way the Holderkin did things.
When she got back, Talia carefully brushed Rolan down and turned him loose. She took care of his tack, cleaned it all, and stowed it away. And then she went back to her room.
Sherri was waiting for her there, and Talia looked at her in surprise before Sherri dragged Talia into a hug. “Rolan sent ahead through both Silkswift and Dantris,” she said as she guided Talia inside. “He said you probably would be in need of some comfort. Keren will be here as soon as class is over. I’m here now.”
Talia burst into tears as soon as the door was closed. “I thought I could save her,” she sobbed.
Sherri held Talia tightly as they sat on the bed. “I know. This is the hardest part of being a Herald, little sister, knowing that you can't save everyone.”
“She's changed so much. It was as if she's actually happy being married to that old man and being beaten.”
“Likely not the bearings,” Sherri said, “but perhaps she truly is content with marriage and motherhood. I know it's probably because of how she was raised, but you were raised the same way, and look at where you are now.”
“A misfit who's shunned by all of Holderkin society,” Talia said. “Shunned and hated even by the one sister I used to be able to rely on.”
“They are not your family anymore,” Sherri said. “You yourself said you wanted nothing more to do with Sensholding. But you have a family here, and we love you.”
“I know. That doesn't stop it from hurting.”
“And that's okay. You're allowed to mourn the hopes and dreams that have failed to come to pass.”
***
Sherri continued to hold and comfort Talia. Her own heart broke for the Queen's Own. She had so much weight on her shoulders, and Sherri couldn't help but think of the frightened girl who had first arrived five years ago. She had been so shy, but so determined. It had taken them a year to get her joking around and gossiping with them.
Well, at least she was opening up, now.
Eventually, Talia cried herself to sleep, revealing just how physically and emotionally exhausted the younger woman had been.
Sherri let Talia lay on her bed and slipped out of Talia's room just in time for Keren to appear.
“Is she alright?” Keren asked.
“I think she will be,” Sherri said, her voice soft. “She cried herself out and now she's sleeping.”
“The poor dear,” Keren said, shaking her head just a little.
“She's learned that Heralds can't save everyone, and in a heartbreaking way,” Sherri said. “But I think she'll be alright.”
“Better than alright. Word is that the Circle will be voting on her and her yearmates soon,” Keren said.
“No doubt they'll pass her right into Whites when they do,” Sherri replied.