Chapter Text
“Hey Pete?“
“Hmm?“ Pete glanced over to see Jimmy's face illuminated in the starlight. Their hands dangerously close to one another.
“You know, now I'm curious …when did you realize you liked guys?“
————
As Pete cleaned out his dorm for summer break, he resisted the urge to glance up at the empty bed across from his.
He knew he should have felt relieved he was no longer here to torment him but he would be lying if some masochistic part of him didn't miss him barging into their shared dorm just to annoy him, at least then he was acknowledged. Now all he has is a dorm frozen in time, haunted by a ghost of someone he wanted desperately to stop caring about.
He remembered everything. The police rushing Gary off campus without grabbing his things, to them pushing him out like he was a time bomb ready to go off. He wasn't surprised the prefects didn't toss his stuff out the moment they had the chance, he was used to being the one that had to clean Gary's messes anyways.
However, Pete didn't have it in him to touch his belongings. He knew it was irrational, but he convinced himself that there was a chance he would walk in one day and catch him.
He knew deep down he couldn't. If he packed his stuff away, Gary's expulsion would be too real for him to handle.
A hard slam against his dorm dragged Pete away from his internal monologue.
As he turned around, he scoffed to see Trent leaning against the doorframe. Trent strained a smile as if his new acting role was pretending they were best buddies.
After becoming headboy, classmates were more likely to talk to him. Pete knew, however, it was never out of genuine intrigue to get to know him; it was always some attempt to get something from him or Jimmy.
Judging by his stupid grin, this was no exception.
“Need some help carrying those boxes?“ Trent offered.
“What do you want, Trent?” Pete deadpanned.
“Right to the point…” Trent mumbled, forcing his irritation down. “look I need a favor from Jimmy, and I need to stay on his good side”
Of course he did.
“I just found out today is his birthday. Now I need to figure out what he wants so he can help me out later,”
Pete nearly dropped the box he was holding as the color drained from his face. Today was Jimmy's birthday? And Trent knew before he did?
Trent didn't notice Pete's face as he rambled.
“Look, you're like his best friend or something and I really need him for this. So like—”
“How did you know?“ Pete interrupted, placing the box down to face him.
“Overheard Miss Danvers say his mom had a birthday gift for him in the office. He looked pissed when he left and he won't talk to anyone. I think he could tell everyone forgot,” Trent itched the back of his neck.
“I didn't forget! He's just private about these things,” Pete blurted out defensively, shifting his feet as he crossed his arms. Even Trent grew fed up with the act and pushed himself off the wall.
“Just shut up and talk to him. And don't you dare tell him I forgot,” Trent grabbed his collar to emphasize his point.
“Well I already have something planned for the day, so don't wait up. Just figure it out yourself and give him the gift tomorrow,” Pete shoved Trent off and quickly left his room. His defiant stomps turning to frenzied taps down the hall once he left his view.
“I'm such a bad friend, I'm such a bad friend, I'm such a bad friend,” Pete chanted internally as he rushed downstairs.
He stopped in front of Jimmy's dorm. His stomach twisted as he approached the rarely closed door, maybe he really was pissed nobody remembered.
Jimmy hadn't mentioned anything about his birthday, maybe he did and Pete was too careless to notice. Now he hurt the only guy who wasn't ashamed of being seen with him because of his recklessness.
Pete squeezed his hand, took a breath for courage, and knocked on the door:
“Jimmy, you want to go get something to eat?“
Nice one, Pete.
Pete's brow furrowed when there was no response.
“Jimmy, it's four in the afternoon and it's hot as Hell, I know you're not asleep,”
No response.
Pete bit his lip and reached for the doorknob. What's the worse that can happen? He's changing and Pete gets punched for it?
As Pete entered the room, Jimmy laid curled in his bed with his back facing the door. This was different than how he would normally find him; If he was nursing his bruises he wouldn't curl up like this, and if he were asleep he wouldn't be this tense.
“C'mon dude, you can't just spend all day—”
Wait, was that a sniffle?
Pete felt his heart drop as the already quiet room fell deathly silent. Jimmy visibly tensed after the noise slipped out, curling tighter into himself. As Pete peered over, he saw Jimmy's jaw clenched and eyes squeezed shut. Despite his best efforts, tears escaped their prison.
Pete pulled back, shifting uncomfortably as he wasn't sure what to do. Jimmy was never one to talk about his feelings; in fact, when they met he assumed the only emotion Jimmy was capable of feeling was anger.
Pete, on the other hand, was an open faucet. Jimmy had seen him cry countless of times and been there to comfort him (when he's not interrogating him on who or what upset him).
Pete also knew how taboo it was around here to not just “man-up” and lock your emotions away; especially in a town where one mental breakdown sends you rotting in a padded cell. Jimmy was never one to make him feel lesser for crying but he always dreaded the thought that Jimmy saw him as a defenseless crybaby.
Now the roles were reversed and Pete couldn't be of any help. After all, Jimmy was infamous for ignoring problems until they blew up in his face. He was stuck in a tough spot with seemingly no proper solution: If Pete tried to pry, would Jimmy finally tell him to fuck off? If he left him to it, would he feel just as much alone as he let him feel on his own birthday?
He had to think of something, and quickly.
Jimmy heard the soft click of the door and opened his watery eyes slightly. A blend of relief and dissapointment flooded his throat as he swallowed.
That was until he felt the dip of the bed.
Pete laid next to him as he stared at the ceiling, he wondered if he was making it worse but he couldn't just leave him like this, no matter how much Jimmy internally begged for it.
He turned to face him, laying on his side as he stared at Jimmy's back. He could see the subtle trembles and knew he was trying to hold back to preserve his dignity. It was exhausting how after everything they've been through, his pride still took priority over his well being.
Pete sighed softly, his hand tentatively rising. It was risky, but worst case scenario, Jimmy would reach over and push it away. Or break it. Regardless, he was prepared for both of those outcomes.
He pressed his palm against his upper shoulder, his thumb rubbing small circles.
He felt Jimmy tense before he heard another sniffle, this time a noticeable sob joining in. His hand tensed into a fist before moving to shield his eyes from Pete's view.
Pete laid there for a few minutes before growing bolder. He sat up to rub his back with his full palm. He didn't dare to say a word, instead he focused on him and his tremors.
Jimmy's forced breathing broke as his chest fluttered, demanding proper air. His sobs filled the room, quiet but painful. He felt pathetic; he was supposed to be the unbothered one between them and now Pete probably thinks less of him.
Instead, Pete moved closer to rub his shoulder and back. He knew it sounded cruel but he was relieved Jimmy was fully crying now, at least he wasn't bottling it in anymore. He wanted to apologize for contributing to this pain. Had he been a better listener and realized what today was, maybe he wouldn't feel so alone.
Pete carefully nudged Jimmy to face him, his eyes and cheeks were red as he tried furiously to wipe the evidence away. He opened his mouth to speak, probably an attempt to dismiss Pete, but his throat constricted tighter.
Pete's eyes glanced to see Jimmy was clutching a postcard tightly to his chest. Should he question him about it? He already pressed his luck with touching him while he was upset; if he opened his mouth now, that would probably be the thing that gets him socked.
Before Pete could ask about it anyway, his body went into autopilot. Wrapping his arms around Jimmy as he shielded him from the outside world. He rested his chin on top of his head as he patted his back, staring at the wall as he carefully moved him to lie comfortably.
Jimmy laid rigid in his arms but slowly calmed down enough to lie slack by his side.
Pete took in Jimmy's decor in his room, unsure of what to say to make it better:
“Are you okay?“ No, that's the last thing he wants to answer when he's upset.
“Do you want to talk about it?“ He sounds like a girl.
“Whatever happened, It'll be okay,” Now he sounds like a dorky girl.
“Burgers or pizza?”
Why would he say that? His best friend is crying in his arms and all he can think about is food? He really is a mor—
“Burgers,” Jimmy croaked out as he sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed. Pete sat up as he watched Jimmy walk to his closet.
Pete lifted his arm as he reached for him; now felt like the right time to ask what happened, or at least check his temperament.
“You gonna gawk or let me change?“ Jimmy asked quietly, not looking at him as he flipped through his various band shirts. It may not have been a dismissal, but it stung like one.
Pete quickly got up and skittered into the hallway, waiting for Jimmy to emerge. He felt himself glancing back at his room, drawn to the uncertainty.
Why didn't Jimmy push him away? Why did he let him stay? He fully anticipated and (partially expected) Jimmy to take his pain out on him. At least that way he'd feel more useful than just sitting there and making him feel awkward combined with whatever troubled him.
When Jimmy emerged, it was as if nothing happened in that dorm. His expression was that stoic yet stern grimace he always wore as he slouched in his typical stance.
“C'mon, Pete,” Jimmy walked past before Pete could speak. Pete sighed and followed, quickly realizing there wasn't going to be a productive conversation between them.
————
Pete watched as Jimmy devoured his second double-cheeseburger like he was on death row. Pete merely nibbled on his fries as he occasionally glanced out the window, watching the townsfolk go about their days. Well the best they could before the swarm of delinquents escaped “pre-prison” for summer vacation.
Pete felt his eyes occasionally flicker over to Jimmy; sometimes as an attempt to start a conversation while other glances were an attempt to read him. Jimmy was always a locked box but he knew him long enough to know when he was trying to play it cool.
They hadn't spoke much during the bike ride over but one thing was certain: Jimmy was trying to avoid the elephant in the booth.
“Hey, Jimmy…”
Jimmy glanced up, his expression looking slightly annoyed as if Pete was interrupting his peace.
“…I'm sorry for forgetting your birthday…and not even knowing it was your birthday,” Pete mumbled as he finally touched his own burger, unwrapping it clumsily.
“I'd be weirded out if you actually knew it was my birthday today,” Jimmy gulped down his bite, covering his mouth as he spoke. He at least appreciated Jimmy remembering how much him talking with his mouth full grossed him out.
Pete sighed internally, relieved that he didn't forget or ignore him. His brows soon furrowed in realization as he sat up.
“Wait, why didn't you tell anyone?“ Pete asked, leaning forward, watching Jimmy shove that last bite down.
“N't r'lly 'omethin' I 'el'brated 'nyway-,” Jimmy shrugged and swallowed as he turned to his drink. With the way he ate, sometimes it seemed like he just discovered the concept of food. He couldn't exactly blame him when the school lawn was more edible than Edna's cooking.
“It's hard to be excited for your birthday when you're constantly told your existence ruined lives,” Jimmy licked his fingers and wiped his mouth with his sleeve, saying it as a matter of fact.
Pete's heart dropped hearing that. He didn't need to piece two and two together, he overheard phone calls between him and his mom to get the picture.
“Well, we have to do something at least,” Pete said, putting his half-eaten burger down to focus on Jimmy.
“I'm fine, dude. Why is this so important to you, anyway?“ Jimmy finally looked at him, leaning back and crossing his arms as he analyzed him suspiciously.
“Because you were there for my birthday and it's not fair if I'm not,” Pete held his arm and slouched back on the booth.
“Pete, all I did was buy you ice cream and keep watch while you bought your stupid comics.”
“It's more than anyone else here would have done,” Pete mumbled, his cheeks warming faintly. Jimmy's incredulous gaze softened as his shoulders loosened.
“Fine, if I let you buy me an ice cream cone, will you stop whining?“ Jimmy leaned on his arms.
“Deal,” Pete replied, standing up to clean the trash from their table. “You don't have to wait for me, you know,”
Jimmy only nodded and climbed out of the booth. As he walked outside, the crumpled postcard slipped from his pocket and fell onto the ground with a dull tap.
Pete went to pick it up and chase Jimmy down but curiosity got the better of him. The cover had his mom and a noticably older man joined at the side, cocktails in their raised hands and blistering sunburns dawning their bodies. They were smiling, oblivious to the torment their son faced while they pretended they were teenagers themselves.
As he flipped it, his heart ached with an understanding:
“Happy birthday, Jimmy! Your stepfather and I decided it would be best for our relationship to explore the world for another year. See you next semester. —Mom,”
Pete's brow furrowed as he crumpled the postcard, threw it onto their trash pile, and walked it to the bins. As stained wrappers and empty cups tumbled alongside the postcard, Pete stared at the bin with disdain.
Not even an “I miss you,” or an “I'm thinking about you,”.
Pete shook his head as he stacked the trays on top of the lid and went outside to see Jimmy riding in circles on his bike. He chuckled softly as Jimmy practiced his bunny hop. He wasn't taking that long to justify doing tricks, was he?
When Jimmy noticed he was being watched, he nearly slipped off. Pete snickered and picked up his own bike, nodding his head to the nearby ice cream parlor.
————
Pete leaned back on the bench as they watched the sunset cascade onto the ocean. The docks were their exclusive spot, always a way for them to shoot the shit or strategize how to survive Bullworth.
Pete glanced over to Jimmy, one hand was holding his half melted cone, the other was throwing stones into the water.
“Jimmy, for the last time, you have to throw them at a lake if you want to skip them,” Pete said, trying to hold back a giggle.
“One day I'm gonna get it, and you're gonna look like an idiot,” Jimmy replied.
“Maybe I'll get freckles and red hair then,” Pete replied, getting a playful punch on the shoulder from him. He appreciated how he was one of the few people allowed to talk to Jimmy that way and not end up in the boardwalk trashcan.
Pete turned back to the ocean as the two sat in silence. This one being more soothing than the one back at the dorm.
After a while, Jimmy spoke up.
“Look, I'm sorry for…all that,” Jimmy didn't face him as he continued to throw stones at the waves.
He wanted to tell Jimmy that he didn't think differently of him, or pretend it didn't happen. He knows that's what Jimmy would want; for everything to go back to the status quo, but he just couldn't see him the same after that.
In fact, it dawned on Pete how he'd grown so used to Jimmy's tough guy persona that he forgot he's just as capable of feeling as he is. In some way it made him…alluring? Intriguing?
He wanted to be there for all of it, he wanted to be that crutch that held him while he cried. The calming presence when his anger took hold. The security when he was scared. The comedian when he wanted to laugh. The company when he felt alone. He wanted him to feel safe in the way he makes Pete feel.
Pete snapped out of it, realizing where he was and turned to face him.
“It's fine,” He wished he said more, but he hoped that was enough.
“You realize if you tell anyone, nobody is going to find your body, right?“ Jimmy said as he went back to his ice cream.
“I know,” Pete said with a fond chuckle, his eyes landing to the water.
Silence settled between them again before Pete finally spoke.
“They're going to kick everyone out of the dorms until the school year starts again,” Pete said, realization dawning on him that Jimmy was practically homeless.
Judging by how Jimmy tightened, he realized the same thing.
“W-we just have a week to pack, so it's not instant. Maybe we can talk to Crabblesnitch about accommodations or maybe–”
“I'll figure something out,” Jimmy mumbled, leaning on his knees.
“Maybe I can convince my parents to let you stay over—” Pete blurted out. He didn't know why he offered that. They'd never agree to let a stray kid move into their house, let alone a kid from Bullworth.
“You don't have to mother-hen me all the time,” Jimmy snapped slightly before catching himself.
“I promise, I'll be okay,” He tried to give a reassuring smile but even he could tell it wasn't working on Pete.
“Look,” Jimmy pointed to the lighthouse, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “Shelter, a bed, an arcade machine, and a bar, I'm set for the summer. Plus I'm closer to town, it's not like I'm going to starve. Besides, I have you to keep my sanity. As far as I'm concerned, I'm living like a king,”
Pete's lips thinned but he didn't push further, he could worry all he wanted but there wasn't much he could offer.
“At least let me walk you over?“ Pete asked.
“What, so you can kiss me by the door? Tell me you had fun tonight like a girly rom-com?” Jimmy retorted
That doesn't sound too horrible..
Wait, what?!
“Shut up, Jimmy,” Pete stood up, picking up his bike as he waited for Jimmy to follow.