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“I wonder if we’re always doomed to end up like this.” Jayce said quietly. “Not, you know, here specifically, but… if we’re always doomed to… I don’t know… you know what I mean.”
“I do.” Viktor replied, staring off into space. “We don’t.”
“Really?”
Viktor hummed. “There are worlds where we end up far worse.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it. I… I wonder if we ever get to end up happy.” Jayce said.
“...I will admit that it is not a common outcome,” Viktor said softly, “but it is an outcome nonetheless. Those worlds… are few and far between, but… they exist.”
“Did you see them? Those worlds?”
“Sort of,” Viktor answered, “it is… strange. ‘I’ saw them, but I am not that ‘me’. I have those memories of those worlds, but I was not the ‘me’ who saw them.”
“Huh…” Jayce murmured. “Interesting.”
“You want to hear about these worlds, don’t you?”
“...maybe…”
“Just the good ones, or…” Viktor trailed off.
“All of them.” Jayce answered the unspoken question.
“In some worlds, we meet exactly the same way we met in this one. You are expelled and I interrupt before your story can end. In others, we meet a little differently. As children, both of Piltover; both of Zaun; one from one and one the other. At school, whether young or in college. As lab partners, assigned or chosen. We are rivals in some, close friends in others. In some we have been lifelong enemies, in others we are inseparable. In some, you joined me in my… hm. Anyway. In some, we were once close, but… we became enemies along the way. In some, we are exes, friends, lovers, rivals, married, enemies, inseparable. In others… in others, we never meet.”
“We… never… meet?” Each other possibility Viktor had described made sense in some way, but Jayce couldn’t imagine never even meeting Viktor.
“In some worlds,” Viktor replied. “These worlds are… different. We… are different. We have ‘happier’ endings; endings that are ‘right’, except… something always feels wrong; incomplete.”
“I don’t think I’d like… I’m glad our world wasn’t… I’m glad we met, Viktor.”
“After everything?” Viktor asked.
“Yeah. May not have been the best ending, but, hey, we’re here now. We’re together. And before all of this, well, plenty of my best memories are with you, V.” Jayce said, scratching the back of his head.
Viktor hummed.
“I still find it kinda hard to believe that there are so many other possibilities of worlds… of us.” Jayce mused.
Viktor hummed again, seeming distracted.
“Watcha thinking about, V?” Jayce asked.
“Possibilities, I suppose,” Viktor replied slowly.
“Do you think… this is one possibility you… or, I guess, the other you, never got to see?”
“What do you mean?”
Jayce sighed. “Nevermind.”
“No, tell me, now I am intrigued!” Viktor said.
He sounded more like… himself, than Jayce had heard in… far too long. He laughed, nervous, “Well, I guess… I mean… we thought we were going to die. And then… we didn’t. But we’re not where we used to be--maybe we’re not even alive! But… I think…” he sighed.
“Jayce?” Viktor asked.
Jayce sighed again. “I… I’m not really sure how to word it, V…”
“That is okay, Jayce. I… know what that is like. Just… try?”
Jayce gave him a small, nervous smile, “I guess… I think this is… for me at least it’s… a happy… not quite ending, but… I’m… happy, that we… still get to be… us. Together? I… like I said, I really don’t know how to word it, but… I get to be here, with you.”
“You do not regret it?” Viktor asked, quiet.
Jayce looked up at him in surprise. “No. Of course not. I mean, sure, there are things and people I’ll miss, things I’ll always… wonder about, but… I don’t regret it.”
“Hmm.”
“I mean it, Viktor!” Jayce said, seeing the doubtful expression on the other’s face. “I don’t regret it. I’m happy that I am here, with you. And I wonder if that is a possibility that the other you never got to see: us getting to be happy, together, without… y’know, semi-accidentally ending humanity.”
Viktor shook his head. “You are…”
“I’m what?” Jayce asked with a laugh, raising his eyebrow.
“...nothing. Well, not nothing, just…” Viktor scrambled for words. “I suppose I do not have the words to explain this.”
“That’s okay, Viktor. Just… try?” Jayce said with a small smile, repeating Viktor’s earlier words back to him.
“You are…” Viktor hesitated. He couldn’t say it. “Something. I do not think that there is a word to describe you. That is not a bad thing, mind you. You are… important to me. You have a good heart, Jayce.”
“Thanks, V.”
They settled into silence, both with words they left unsaid. Words they wanted to say, but were too afraid to.
“Viktor, I…” Jayce started. He sighed. “Nevermind.”
“No, tell me,” Viktor said. “I think we are past the point of keeping secrets, Jayce.” Viktor said, as if he weren’t hiding a huge secret from Jayce for… years, now. Aaaand had no intention of revealing it.
“I… you… You were describing all those other worlds. What they were like. What… what we were like. And I just… I wondered… If… since we didn’t die… What are we… in this world? Would you… Could we… be…” Jayce trailed off, looking away.
“Jayce?” Viktor asked softly. “Could we be… what, exactly?” He tried to sound as gentle and soft as possible. Tried to keep the hope out of his voice.
“You… you said that… in some worlds… we… we’re… lovers.” Jayce said, the last word barely audible.
“What… what are you saying, Jayce?” Viktor asked, his voice quiet. He couldn’t stop the hope--or the anxiety--from creeping into his words.
“Viktor, I…” Jayce said, looking at him with a scared, hopeful, loving look on his face.
Vitkor pulled his gaze away. “...you do not mean it.” he murmured. “You do regret your decision. You want to go back. You regret it. You want to be with the people you love; your mother, Cait. You want Mel.”
“Viktor.” Jayce said, reaching out and grabbing his arm as Viktor pulled away. “I don’t. I don’t regret it. I’ll miss them, sure, but I will never regret choosing to be with you. I do mean it, and gods I wish I had realized and told you sooner. I love you, Viktor.”
“You… you love… me?” Viktor whispered.
“I do,” Jayce said. “I… I think I’ve loved you for a long time, V, I just… didn’t let myself. I love you, I love how you’re always there for me in your Viktor way and how your mind and your… your everything, Viktor.”
Viktor stared at him. “Jayce…”
“Viktor.” Jayce said with a grin.
Viktor glared, but there was no venom in it. “...I wish that I could believe you, Jayce, but…”
“I know.” Jayce said softly. “I know. You’ve been taught your whole life that you’re broken and not good enough. And I hate that. Because you’re not broken, your ‘imperfections’ are just another piece of you that makes you who you are, the Viktor I love. You are more than enough, V, and I love you. And I’ll keep showing you and choosing you and telling you until you do believe me.”
“Jayce, I…” Viktor sighed. “I… thank you. I… still don’t know when I will be able to believe you, but… I believe that you will be able to make me believe you. You always did have a penchant for the impossible. And… in case it was not clear… I love you, too, Jayce.”