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Sorry I Can't Say (Sorry I Can't Stay)

Summary:

On the cusp of autumn, one innocuous Friday afternoon, "Luz" invites Masha to talk, while she waits for a ride home from school.

She doesn't say very much. But she says goodbye.

Notes:

hiiiiiii~! [^_^ ]°

back once again for my semiannual upload! and wouldnt you know it, it's another vee zine piece! just like my last one!🙃
(i SWEAR im still working on other fics. the next part of Boyn't got put on hold for like 8 months or something because of a logistical issue that just took THAT long for me to solve, and then the zine was coming up again, and i just havent gotten back around to it yet 💀)

anyways, check out the vee zine, 2026 edition! ive seen a lot of coolgood art, a lot of coolgood fics, and even contributed a little of each myself! you'll find out more on that later tho >;)

in the meantime, enjoy some arguably-canon-compliant angst!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The school bell rang out, finally releasing its captive students from their last classes of the day. Students flooded the halls, going all sorts of directions. Most went to the bus pickup, some went toward the parking lot, and others sought out various places still within the school building. Club rooms, lockers, friends congregating on their way out into the broader world. The end of the school day carried with it innumerable beginnings.

For most people, anyways.

A freshman approached her locker. Opened it, grabbed some things, put some other things away; it was perfectly typical, for a time. But soon, her hands slowed, and her gaze lingered on a small photo from the summer. With the reminder, she found herself changing course. She grabbed the photo, stuffed it into her bag, and then did the same with the textbooks she'd just put in there. Within a minute, her locker was empty.

A pair of footsteps, familiar for months longer than any lockers or textbooks or even photographs, approached from the other side of the locker's open door.

"Hey Luz!" they started. "The others got drafted into some club thing, so it's just you and me this time."

Their talent, for delivering devastation with just a few chipper words, could earn medals. She had hoped to talk to all of them, or at least to have the others as a buffer for what she had to tell Masha, but of course, today wasn't going to be that easy.

It never was.

"That's fine," she said instead, closing her locker. "My mom's actually coming to pick me up. Could you… wait with me?"

One eyebrow lifted, and confusion stilled their tongue. Not for too long, though; just long enough to worry. "…Sure, I guess."

The walk to the parking lot was quiet. Not silent, as she might've liked, but quiet. They noticed her overfull bag, always a keen eye for details, but accepted her excuse about homework without question.

Keen, but gullible.

A small crowd of students stood before a long, winding line of cars. Camila's wasn't anywhere in sight, possibly still at the clinic. It didn't take much convincing to back away from the crowd, and settle instead on the building's front stairs.

They talked. About nothing, for a while, just whatever came to mind. Gossip, classes, something she just had to look up when she got home, et cetera. The line of cars kept inching forward, the crowd before them thinning.

Halfway through the latest news about their ongoing job search, she scooted closer, and pressed her shoulder to theirs. Their complaints tapered off into nothing, so she basked in their presence alone.

She hummed. "Sounds like you're figuring it out, at least."

"I guess. You getting comfy there?"

"For now," she said, tipping her head onto their shoulder.

They didn't seem to have a good comeback for that.

She let the matter sit for another minute or so, before she started to dig up her words, the very reason she asked them to be with her, there and then. "I borrowed something a while ago. Before we met, actually. But this weekend, I've gotta give it back."

"What was it?" Always with the hard questions.

She returned in kind, "It's… well. It's gonna change some things. A lot of things. And it's gonna be really, really weird, and confusing, and hard without it." An answer as ominous as it was opaque.

"Uhhhh-huh." In the distance, a familiar car finally made it into the line. "Think that's your mom. Guess we gotta get up soon, huh?"

Her eyes felt hot. She blinked the sensation away as best she could, and took a long yet shallow breath. The line inched forward.

"I'll miss you guys." She hoped they didn't hear the waver in her voice.

"What? Girl, it's just the weekend, we can talk in like, an hour, probably." They shifted as if to face her, but she stubbornly kept her face from their view, the ground suddenly much more interesting than her friend.

"Yeah. Maybe." The line inched forward.

They raised their eyebrow again, and preemptively cringed. "Is everything… okay?"

"…No. Not really. But there's nothing I can do about it anymore." She didn't even recognize her own lie. The only thing stopping her was cowardice, as solid and immovable as the concrete she was sitting on.

"Oh. That's…" their gaze fled to the afternoon sky. "…That sucks."

The line inched forward. Silence. She scooted even closer, and buried her face in their shoulder, hunched over their arm.

The line inched forward. Masha laid their head atop hers, mind whirling with questions they knew she wouldn't answer.

The line inched forward.

The line inched forward.

The line inched forward. Camila's car was at the edge of the pickup zone.

She took a deep breath, only a little shuddering, and pried herself off of her friend. She was in no hurry to get her feet under her and leave, but she couldn't stall forever, no matter how much she wanted to.

They looked up at her dumbly as she stood and stretched, a silhouette of blinding light against the afternoon sun. She took half a step forward, then turned back. It was impossible to read her expression, shrouded as it was in her own shadow, but they could just about make out her gesture, offering them a hand up. Hesitantly, they took it.

With the height difference settled, they could finally see her face. Her nose flared as she drew in a shaky breath, and they realized too late that she was still holding their hand. Before they could react, she'd already pulled them into a signature Noceda Rib-Breaker, burying her face in their chest.

An image of Vee (in her full Luz disguise, as seen in <em>Yesterday's Lie</em>) and Masha (also seen in their design from that episode, though their top is sheer instead of solid) hugging in the afternoon sun. Vee is leaning forward, clutching Masha's waist desperately, and Masha is leaned back, their arms held stiffly out to the side. Vee's face is scrunched up against Masha's chest, and a tear threatens to drip from her eye. Masha's face is pulled into an uncomfortable grin as they look down, surprised, at Vee. Behind Masha, a ghostly image of Vee's face can be seen looking back at them, openly shedding a tear with a resolute expression. Her visible eye has reverted to its undisguised appearance, with a blue sclera, black iris, and yellow pupil. Behind Vee, a ghostly image of Masha's face can be seen looking back at her, confused and worried.

They cringed at first. Then, slowly, carefully, their hands settled onto her back.

"I'm gonna miss you," she muttered, quiet, into their shirt.

Their worry deepened. Their defenses went up to compensate. "Dork. I'll see you on Monday," they hoped, on the verge of begging.

She broke the embrace, now a double-handhold, and attempted to meet their gaze directly. Her eyes slid off their face. "…Of course. You'll see me on Monday."

If it was a relief, their body didn't recognize it. She released one of their hands, then the other, and turned to walk away.

They still felt the ghost of her warmth across their abdomen, as she opened the door to her mom's car. They watched her sit, and buckle, and adjust the straps, all while they stood there like an idiot, too far and too lost to say goodbye. They were only spurred to act by the car finally starting to pull forward.

They jogged up to the curb, where the car would soon pass, but couldn't find a game plan better than waving. Still, Camila must have noticed them, since Luz's window began to open, shocking her out of a melancholic slump.

She was passing them by, agonizingly slow. They couldn't think of anything to say, so settled on next-to-nothing. "See ya later, Luz."

Her lips visibly wobbled. Her mom looked concerned, and slowed the car further, as little as it would do, now that they'd already passed eachother.

"Yeah," her voice cracked, "Bye Mash'."

She pulled away, still looking back at them from the mirror.

Their waist was cold. Their guts squirmed, and their mind raced, and they knew their face was doing something awful that they just couldn't see.

Their heart hurt more than it had any right to, what with the whole weekend still ahead of them.

But she was gone.

Notes:

in the wise wise words of one of my many veesha angst co-conspirators, Obvious_Eponym_Placeholder: "Masha will be spending the weekend clinging to the "read" label on messages as proof of life."

which im sure is fine, and will have zero lasting consequences on their mental state and/or character design.

anywhozles, THAT ART!!! the lines and background were done by yours truly~, and the colors and finish were done by the ever-wonderful (and ever-busy) Lady L'pod, who also runs the whole ass zine! including the discord server for said zine! i think theres a link on the zine's tumblr page somewhere. probably

this fic (and the subsequent art) were the result of a massive downscaling from one of my typical snowballing project concepts. it was originally gonna be this big thing with the cabin 7 polycule getting basically split in half by luz taking her identity back, with masha trying to figure out why she suddenly changed, the unnamed kids being super mad at luz for ditching them (and at masha for not giving up on her in turn), and luz begging vee to give her the deets on the horrible social malfunction she just stumbled into. the ending of that story was not a happy one, although the opportunity would still exist for some real resolution later down the line; an aspect shared by this fic.

dont know if you can tell, but ive been really into angst lately [-‿-;]°

special thanks to dark_pookha for beta reading, to selenic_heart and Obvious_Eponym_Placeholder for the kind words on the draft(s), and to The_Lampman for the constant encouragement (even if you didnt know what you were encouraging >;D)

and with that, i'll see myself out. who knows, maybe i'll finally get back to work on Boyn't...

Loveyoubyeeeeeeee~!