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The first thing Bruce registered was the flickering campfire. The next was the fact that he didn’t recognize either of the two women sitting nearby said campfire.
They sat, comfortably chatting, sharing a thermos between them, at complete ease as far as he could tell. They weren’t ignoring him, he realized, as the dark-haired woman smiled at him briefly, before offering him a ceramic mug, filled with what appeared to be tea, with a teabag tag hanging over the edge.
“Uh,” he said eloquently, making the blond woman turn to him brightly.
“Ya want some honey with that, Dr. Banner?” she said with a heavy mid-west accent, maybe Minnesota? “Jody here has some sugar cubes if you prefer that. She’s always prepared, doncha’ know?”
The woman closest to him patiently waited for him to blink at them.
“I think there’s been some mistake,” he started, preparing to set the mug down on the leaf-littered ground.
“Maybe this will help,” the dark-haired woman told him as she did put her mug down. Moving slowly, she pulled something from her pocket and showed him her badge. “I’m Sheriff Jody Mills. A bit out of my jurisdiction, but Singer knew I was the closest.”
He looked closer at the badge, really wishing he had his glasses, which had gotten lost somewhere around the time he’d gotten caught in the blast radius of the bioweapon in Cincinnati he’d been trying to neutralize. The rest of the team had been keeping the evil henchmen at bay while he had, with Clint at his back as protection-
“Clint!” Bruce stood up and nearly keeled over, feeling a wave of dizziness wash over him. Something slid away behind him and he realized as both women jumped up to help him sit down before he fell down that it had been a blanket that had been wrapped around his shoulders.
“Barton is fine,” Jody told him softly, pulling the blanket off the ground and shaking it free of debris before wrapping it once again around his shoulders. “Singer said it took your team a bit to realize what had happened as both of you had gotten caught in the release of some gas.”
“Fury’s friend?” he asked, allowing them to settle nearby again. The blond handed him the mug of tea again, crouching in front of him to make sure he was steady before she returned to her seat.
“Accordin’ ta Bobby,” the blond shrugged, “they both owe each other so many favors that it’s as close to bein’ friends as they’ll ever get.” She chuckled. “I’m Sheriff Donna, if you want to see my badge.”
He waved it away, furrowing his brow.
“I have so many questions,” was all he could say after his first sip of the oolong tea in his mug.
“And we’re happy to answer them all,” Jody smiled, pulling out a satellite phone to hand him. “Check in with your team first. It seems Barton is beating himself up over losing you, so he and Stark are heading this way already. We checked in with Bobby and he passed along our location.”
It was so wild to be out here in the middle of the forest, Bruce guessed from the lack of sounds of civilization and the need for a satellite phone, having been found by two sheriffs, who were apparently more of ‘Bobby’s’ people.
He quickly dialed the tower and Jarvis, after expressing his happiness that the doctor was well, routed him to Tony in the jet that was apparently en route.
“Brucie-bear,” came Tony’s anxious voice. “Jarvis has confirmed that you’re calling from the same coordinates we were given, so we should be there soon.”
“Bruce!” Clint shouted suddenly in his ear. It sounded like he had snatched the phone from Tony. “Are you okay?”
“I think I’m good,” Bruce replied with a warm smile, looking over to where the two women were deliberately not watching him, giving him space, he guessed. “Jody and Donna have been really accommodating. They found me, I guess.”
“Give me that, birdbrain,” Tony gruffed, apparently having taken the phone back from Clint. “He said he’s good.”
Bruce could tell that Tony hadn’t really believed he was okay when he’d first answered. He figured he’d have to submit to Tony and Clint fighting over being the biggest mother hen for the foreseeable future. He could probably get Natasha to talk Clint down. He wasn’t sure Pepper wouldn’t just laugh as she would enjoy watching Tony Stark act like an anxious parent for a while.
“I’m not sure where we are,” he shrugged, “but I’m sure I could find a nearby town eventually.”
Jody rolled her eyes and took the phone from his hand.
“Anthony Edward Stark,” she said in a very no nonsense voice that made even Bruce sit up straighter. “Dr. Banner is safe here where we said he is, and if you’re not actually on your way, I will take him home, feed him chicken soup, and adopt him and the Hulk.”
There was a pause as Donna struggled to not laugh, but Jody appeared very serious. Bruce couldn’t hear Tony’s reply, but when Jody simply hung up, he could imagine the non-plussed look that his friend probably had. They had quite a lot of strong, serious women in their lives these days.
“That’s what I thought,” Jody muttered to herself, then sighed. “Well, I’m guessing we have a few minutes at least, so ask away.”
“Is there a place they can land?”
Jody waved a hand in the general easterly direction.
“There’s a hayfield not far from here. We should be able to see them land as long as they’re not on stealth.” She didn’t appear concerned. “Either we can meet them there or let them come to us.” She looked over to Donna who nodded along.
“Jody’s a mom,” Donna snickered. “She’s not going to just hand you over to anyone wearing an Iron Man suit.” This startled a laugh out of Bruce and Jody joined him.
“Should I call him back and make sure he brought his driver’s license?”
They all shared a laugh, with Jody smiling warmly. Bruce could feel himself unwind a bit more. There was a soft grumble from the Hulk deep inside, but it wasn’t anger. Bruce tilted his head, considering. It was as if his alter ego was pouting, like he was…jealous? At that thought, the next tumbled after it. Had they found him as Hulk, during his transformation, or after?
“What did you see?” He asked anxiously, holding the mug tightly in both hands and slightly curving over it.
“Hulk wasn’t naked, if that’s what you’re askin’,” Donna spoke up. “Those pants just seemed to shrink down with ya. Like magic.”
Looking down at himself, Bruce realized what they meant and realized he was only wearing the Hulk pants Tony had created for him so he didn’t end up bare ass every time he transformed. The blanket was still wrapped around his shoulders, but he was definitely not naked.
“No, I mean, did the Hulk do anything?”
Both of the women shared a glance that concerned him until Jody leaned towards him.
“Dr. Banner-.”
“Bruce,” he interrupted her.
“Bruce,” she nodded, “Hulk was confused and upset when we found him. Like an angry kid who got himself lost in the woods.” She smiled at him warmly, laying a hand on his shoulder through the blanket.
“Just the fact that instead of turnin’ on his injured teammate,” Donna jumped in, “and headed for the ground outdoors where only the trees got in his way, shows that he still knew what he was doin’ for the most part.”
Bruce pondered that, then looked around.
“Where are we, anyway?”
“Western edge of Frontenac State Park, Minnesota,” Donna beamed. “One of my favorite places to hike.”
“And you just happened to be here?” Bruce was skeptical.
“Oofta, no,” Donna fluttered her hand at him. “Jody was with me in Stillwater when Bobby called. It’s not that far, in the grand scheme.”
“Hulk ran all the way from Cincinnati and didn’t do any damage? I don’t believe you.” He sipped the tea again, then sat it on the ground, pulling the blanket closer around himself. When the women shared another glance, more of a grimace, he frowned.
“We didn’t say he didn’t cause any damage,” Jody replied. “There were a few accidents from folks being startled by the Hulk leaping across busy roads like a 9-point buck in spring, but no one was hurt. He didn’t attack anyone.”
“And my gosh, does he love moonpies,” Donna snorted, making her eyes wide in emphasis.
“What?” Bruce was a little confused.
“I had a case of moonpies, lemon and chocolate,” Jody chuckled. “Found them on sale at Costo while I was visiting Donna, so I grabbed them for the station.” She shrugged. “Who knew I’d encounter the Hulk way out here. And it was worth it for him scaring that bear away from the campers.” She sipped her own mug. “Scared them away too, but it’s off-season so they shouldn’t have been out here to begin with.”
“Do you know, they never told anyone they were comin’ here?” Donna asked, exasperatedly. “Could’ve been left mauled and dyin’ out here if you hadn’t come this way.”
“Oh,” was all Bruce could think.
He’d had conversations with Clint about this Bobby Singer, who was apparently a friend of SHIELD Director Fury. After Steve’s encounter with a vampire and an effusive hunter named Garth, all of the Avengers had been read into the whole supernatural beings and hunters thing. Clint and Natasha had shared about the child-trafficking ring where they’d encountered the Winchester brothers and learned that demons and changelings were real.
He’d been curious, but Tony had been vociferously adamant that he would accept that these things might exist but with gods and magic, he had enough on his plate. Bruce had quietly found a blog about hunters and been reading what he could. He took everything with a grain of salt, as some of the posters ranted about bigfoot and others claimed he didn’t exist.
Hulk shouldn’t exist either, but here they were.
“Are you two hunters?” He was really curious now. They were both police officers, sheriffs of their own respective regions, if he was understanding what he had heard them say. How did more people not know about all this supernatural stuff?
“My geez, no,” Donna drawled. “The boys have really saved my bacon a few times and I’m happy to help if I’m really needed, but I’m more hunter-adjacent.”
Bruce looked to Jody with raised eyebrows and she smiled softly, blushing as she shrugged.
“Eh, I take out the odd vampire here and there. I try to keep my girls, Claire and Alex, clear of it all, but Claire is determined to follow in Dean’s wake.”
“Except the dying and Hell parts, yeah?” Donna interjected.
“She damn well better not make me track her down in Hell. I’d have to kick Dean’s ass after we got home.”
“What?” Bruce asked, alarmed. Both women looked at him as if they had forgotten he was there.
“Oh, um, story for another time, young man,” Jody clapped her hands on her knees and stood. “Donna can put out the fire and meet us in the field.” She reached out a hand to help him, where he stood more steadily this time.
“I don’t have any shoes,” Bruce told her, wiggling his toes in the forest debris. He looked up at her and she winked at him.
Turning and bending at the waist, she grabbed a pair of rough, worn rubber boots that she had, he guessed, set behind her log before Hulk let him come out.
“I always keep a pair of rubber boots handy,” she smiled at him. “Never know when you have to walk in something unpleasant.”
She waited for him to slip into them, then tucked the blanket closer around him.
“All ready for one of Tony’s galas,” he muttered, making them both laugh.
“It was nice to meecha!” Donna told him, offering her hand and a business card. “You ever in my neck of the woods, just give me a call!” Then she walked off, grabbing up a nearby pail and shovel.
“Dirt to smother it?” Bruce asked wonderingly as he thought about not noticing these things. He quickly took a look around and saw a few other things that he hadn’t noticed before. Like an axe, a satchel covered in splotches, a cardboard box partially filled with crinkly wrappers that flickered in the firelight.
Jody quickly wrapped one arm around his shoulder to guide him away.
“Sure, something like that.”
He missed her looking over her shoulder to glare at Donna, who quickly closed the satchel to hide what might have been a rotting cantaloupe. Maybe. He didn’t need to know that the women had just cleared out a ghoul nest when Bobby had called.
“Let’s get you home to your family,” She said, walking him away from the makeshift campsite and towards where he could see the trees ended, most likely at the field the jet was supposed to land in.
*****
Later that night, as he was getting ready to shower back at the tower, he found a second business card tucked into one of the hidden pockets in his Hulk pants.
On one side was ‘Sheriff Jody Mills, Sioux Falls, South Dakota’ and what was probably her cell phone. On the other side was ‘Bobby’ and another phone number.
He slipped both cards into one of the books on the supernatural he had ordered that had been recommended by one of the bloggers, someone who went by ‘Charlie451’, before he stepped into the shower.