Chapter Text
”okay, next question.”
the interviewer looked down at the next card before smiling.
“this one’s for james.”
james straightened slightly in his chair.
“okay.”
keonho immediately leaned away from him.
“he said ‘okay.’ we’re doomed.”
the interviewer laughed.
“which member is the most difficult to live with?”
there wasn’t even half a second of hesitation.
“martin.”
martin’s head snapped towards him.
“…excuse me?”
james looked completely sincere.
“love him.”
a beat.
“absolutely impossible to live with.”
the staff behind the cameras laughed.
martin blinked.
“what?”
“he’s like a ninety-year-old man trapped in a eighteen-year-old’s body.”
“i am not.”
“you are.”
james started counting on his fingers.
“he sighs every time someone opens a window because he’s always either boiling or freezing.”
“because you all insist on turning the dorm into antarctica.”
“he complains when people leave mugs in the sink despite being one of the messiest members.”
“because you can easily wash them?”
“he reminds everyone to drink water.”
“because dehydration is bad and i care?”
“he goes to bed saying, ‘big day tomorrow, guys.’”
juhoon nodded enthusiastically.
“he actually does.”
“traitor.”
“and,” james continued, looking directly into the camera now, “if you move literally anything in the kitchen…”
he lowered his voice dramatically.
“…he knows.”
the interviewer laughed.
“really?”
“last week i moved the salt.”
martin frowned.
“…because it wasn’t where it belonged.”
“see?”
“it goes next to the pepper.”
“it was next to the pepper.”
“it was three centimetres away.”
“you measured?”
“i noticed.”
the room dissolved into laughter.
even seonghyeon smiled.
juhoon hid his face behind his cue cards.
keonho was nearly falling off his chair.
martin smiled too.
or…
he tried to.
he gave the camera a small shrug.
“they’re all just exaggerating.”
“we’re genuinely not.”
james grinned.
“he also alphabetises the spice rack at 3am.”
“that happened once.”
“it happens every month.”
“organisation isn’t a crime.”
the interviewer wiped away a tear from laughing.
“martin, do you have anything to say in your defence?”
martin folded his arms.
“i think everyone appreciates living in a clean apartment.”
“we do.”
james nodded.
“doesn’t stop you being eighty-seven.”
more laughter.
martin smiled politely.
“right.”
he laughed once.
“moving on.”
and they did.
⸻
the interview finished an hour later.
photos.
goodbyes.
thanking the crew.
signing a few things.
the usual routine.
martin smiled in every picture.
thanked every member of staff.
helped carry equipment back towards the van.
he looked…
completely normal.
which was exactly how everyone knew something was wrong.
⸻
inside the van, keonho leaned towards seonghyeon.
“ten bucks says he’s sulking.”
“he’s definitely sulking.”
“i’m not sulking.”
martin didn’t even look up from his phone.
“didn’t ask.”
keonho whispered loudly,
“see?”
martin sighed.
“i literally heard that.”
“because you’re sulking.”
“i am literally sitting here.”
“exactly.”
juhoon looked up from the window.
“martin.”
“yeah?”
“are you upset?”
“no.”
“okay.”
a pause.
“you’re lying.”
martin looked offended.
“why does nobody ever believe me?”
all four of them answered together.
“because you’re terrible at lying.”
⸻
james glanced sideways.
martin had his headphones on now.
they weren’t even connected to anything.
he just…
had them on.
the universal sign.
do not perceive me.
james bit the inside of his cheek.
oh.
he actually upset him.
⸻
the rehearsal studio was busy.
dancers everywhere.
staff walking back and forth.
music echoing off the walls.
martin threw himself into practice.
if anything…
he danced harder than usual.
every movement sharp.
precise.
focused.
between takes, though…
he stayed by himself.
stretching.
drinking water.
looking at literally anything except james.
james hated it.
⸻
during lunch, he quietly slid into the seat beside martin.
“hey.”
“hey.”
“you alright?”
“yeah.”
“really?”
martin nodded.
“mhm.”
“you’ve said exactly three words to me in two hours.”
“busy.”
“martin.”
“james.”
“…are you mad at me?”
martin looked genuinely confused.
“no?”
“then why are you avoiding me?”
“i’m not.”
“you absolutely are.”
martin looked down at his sandwich.
“…i’m not avoiding you.”
“…”
“…”
“…i’m just…”
he shrugged.
“…existing.”
james stared.
he knew that shrug.
that was the shrug martin used when he was trying very, very hard not to admit he’d had his feelings hurt.
⸻
throughout the afternoon…
james quietly made it his mission.
he passed martin a bottle of water before he even asked.
“drink.”
“thanks.”
he adjusted martin’s hoodie after one take because the microphone cable had twisted.
“hold still.”
martin blinked.
“…thanks.”
he bought martin his favourite iced coffee during a short break.
martin looked at the cup.
“…you didn’t have to.”
“wanted to.”
“…thanks.”
still…
that little smile never quite reached his eyes.
⸻
keonho wandered over.
“…he’s still sad.”
“i know.”
“you broke him.”
“i know.”
“fix him.”
“i’m trying.”
“try harder.”
⸻
by the time they got back to the dorm that evening, james had run out of subtle ideas.
martin disappeared into the bedroom to change.
james followed a minute later.
martin was folding a hoodie.
very carefully.
far too carefully.
“baby.”
martin hummed.
still folding.
“look at me.”
“…why?”
“please.”
martin finally looked up.
james’s heart sank.
there it was.
that tiny little crease between martin’s eyebrows.
the one that only appeared when he was quietly overthinking.
“i’m sorry.”
martin frowned.
“…for what?”
“the interview.”
“why?”
“because i think i actually upset you.”
martin immediately shook his head.
“you didn’t.”
“martin.”
“you didn’t.”
“baby.”
“…”
“…”
“…you kind of did.”
finally.
there it was.
barely above a whisper.
james walked over immediately.
“come here.”
martin let himself be pulled into a hug without protest.
his forehead rested automatically against james’s shoulder.
“i know it was a joke.”
he mumbled.
“i do.”
“then why are you sad?”
“…”
“…because everyone laughed.”
james’s chest tightened.
“and?”
martin laughed awkwardly.
“it just made me think…”
he looked down.
“…maybe i actually am annoying.”
“martin.”
“and i know i’m not even that impulsive.”
“…”
“…okay, maybe i am a little.”
“martin.”
“…”
“…but i don’t want people thinking i’m…”
he searched for the word.
“…boring.”
james pulled back just enough to look at him.
“boring?”
martin shrugged.
“i don’t know.”
“absolutely not.”
“they laughed.”
“because it was funny.”
“at me.”
“with you.”
martin stayed quiet.
james reached up, brushing martin’s fringe away from his eyes.
“do you know why those jokes work?”
martin shook his head.
“because everyone knows how much we all adore you.”
“…”
“seriously.”
he smiled softly.
“if i thought you were actually annoying…”
he gently flicked martin’s forehead.
“…i wouldn’t spend every single day following you around like a lost puppy.”
martin laughed despite himself.
“a very small puppy.”
“shut up.”
“a tiny one.”
“i’m offended.”
martin smiled.
a real one this time.
james saw it immediately.
“there he is.”
“who?”
“my boyfriend.”
martin rolled his eyes.
“that wasn’t smooth.”
“says the man who spent six hours pretending he wasn’t upset and failed miserably.”
“i wasn’t pretending.”
“bro.”
“…”
“…okay.”
“thank you.”
“for what?”
“for telling me.”
martin looked away sheepishly.
“i didn’t want you to feel bad.”
“too late.”
“…sorry.”
“hey.”
james tipped martin’s chin up.
“what did we say about apologising for having feelings?”
martin sighed.
“…that i’m allowed to have them.”
“exactly.”
“even if they’re a bit stupid.”
“they’re not stupid.”
“they feel stupid.”
“doesn’t make them stupid.”
martin was quiet for a moment.
then…
very slowly…
he wrapped both arms around james again.
a proper hug this time.
“i really wasn’t mad at you.”
“i know.”
“i just…”
he buried his face against james’s hoodie.
“…wanted you to think nice things about me.”
james actually laughed.
“martin.”
“what?”
“i’m literally in love with you.”
“…”
“…oh.”
“yeah.”
“…lowkey forgot.”
“how?”
“i don’t know.”
james smiled so warmly it almost hurt.
“for the record…”
he used martin’s shoulders to reach up and press a quick kiss into his hair.
“…i think you’re the kindest person i’ve ever met.”
another kiss.
“i think you’re unbelievably handsome.”
another.
“i think you’re so thoughtful it makes the rest of us look bad.”
martin’s ears turned pink.
“hyung…”
“i think you make every room feel safer.”
“…”
“i think home feels more like home when you’re in it.”
martin’s grip tightened.
“…stop.”
“why?”
“…because i’ll cry.”
“that’s okay.”
“…”
“…”
“…i’m still making fun of your spice rack though.”
martin immediately leaned back.
“…unbelievable.”
“there he is.”
“i literally have standards.”
“you alphabetised paprika.”
“because paprika starts with p.”
“exactly.”
martin pointed dramatically.
“and i’ll do it again.”
james laughed so hard he had to hold onto him.
from somewhere outside the bedroom came keonho’s voice.
“did he fix him?”
seonghyeon answered immediately.
“judging by the volume of martin’s defending himself…”
a pause.
“…yes.”
juhoon spoke over the top of both of them.
“told you it’d take one conversation.”
martin groaned into james’s shoulder.
“…they’re listening.”
“of course they are.”
“i’m never living this down.”
james smiled.
“probably not.”
“great.”
“for what it’s worth…”
he squeezed martin’s hand.
“…i’ll spend the rest of my life reminding you when i’m joking.”
martin looked up.
“promise?”
“promise.”
martin smiled.
“okay.”
“…also.”
“yeah?”
“don’t ever move the salt again.”
james burst into laughter.
“there’s my old man.”