Work Text:
Matthew awoke at around 3 in the morning. His body felt like ice—sweat dripping off his brow. He wasn't sure what he dreamed of, but he knew it had something to do with his twin brother.
No, this wasn't one of those "twins have a shared train of thought" situations—this was rather a dilemma Matthew had been thinking of for the past 6 months.
What if he were to lose his brother?
He knew it was a dumb question, and it was even dumber to worry about it. His brother was obnoxious and self-centered. Basically, a textbook douche. Why should he care so much?
There was really no answer for it besides the fact that he loved and cared for his brother, plain and simple.
The dream had really messed him up though, so much so he couldn't fall back asleep; and believe me, he tried. Tossing and turning, thinking of anything besides the source of his distress. Nothing worked.
So, Matthew got up and put some pants on before heading downstairs to the kitchen. His house smelt of maple with a hint of weed. It was a disgusting combo, but Matthew was too exhausted to care.
In the process, he had accidentally woken Mr. Kumajiro up. The small polar bear followed behind, asking who Matthew was and such. It was a constant occurrence. A game he had sort of grown tired of.
Walking to his kitchen counter, he contemplated what to make to ease his worry, breakfast had always helped him afterall. He thought of his childhood. He had been the first to use the stove out of the children, he was also the first to use the waffle maker.
Though Matthew had loved pancakes, he had made waffles a lot because Alfred preferred them at the time. He just couldn't refuse the sad, pouty look his brother gave him. Not because it was cute, but because it was annoying to look at. A sad attempt at being cute. He didn't want to look at that face all morning, so he always ended up making pancakes.
Those memories, despite being annoying at the time they were happening, brought a small smile to Matthew's face. He missed being a kid, growing up with Alfred at his side, making him breakfast and such. He missed it a lot.
The thoughts alone made him decide on waffles. It would give him comfort—he hoped.
The memories quickly turned sour as he pulled out the waffle maker. It was the same one from childhood. From Francis's house. He remembered when he had to take it out of Arthur's house. It had been when their parents first separated.
It was obviously a devastating day, for him and for Alfred. He remembers Alfred crying as Matthew packed his things to leave. He remembered hugging him and telling him he'd see him on holidays. It was awful.
Huh, maybe that's where that childish fear of losing Alfred had stemmed from.
Matthew's thoughts dragged on for a good while before he snapped out of it and plugged the waffle maker in. He quickly realized that was dumb because he didn't have any batter…and he'd have to make some…from scratch.
Luckily, he had all the ingredients. All-purpose flour, eggs, sugar, baking powder (not soda, he double checked), milk, butter he still needed to melt, and vanilla extract. Despite having everything, something felt missing. What could he possibly have forgotten? Hell, he even remembered to double check what time of butter he was using—salted to be exact. So what was it?
He came to the conclusion a moment later.
He wasn't missing an ingredient, rather he was missing someone. Well, he was also missing maple syrup but that didn't matter in the moment. Well, yes it did, he'd need to pick some up.
After traveling to the convenience store and grabbing as may bottles of maple syrup as he could, Matthew made it home and grabbed his phone.
He dialed a number he was ever so familiar with—and he waited. It rung twice before an answer came.
"Who is this?" Alfred's voiced answered, he sounded like he had just woken up…because he had.
Matthew rolled his eyes.
"Your brother."
"Peter?"
Matthew groaned.
"Ha, just kidding. Whaddya want Matt?"
"I'm making waffles, wanna come over?"
"Lemme think about it."
A long silence followed.
"Nah"
"Liar. Your fat-ass wouldn't refuse free food."
Another long silence
"Yea you're right. 'M getting dressed right now. Be there in a few."
Alfred hung up.
Matthew started to make the batter as he waited, mixing the wet ingredients in with the dry ingredients.
Alfred arrived not long after the batter was finished, walking in like he owned the place.
"Hey man, long time no see"
He walked, well…strutted, to the dining table and sat down excitedly.
Matthew just looked at him for a second. Why did he miss this guy again?
Never mind that, he needed to start on the waffles. He plugged in his waffle maker once more and buttered it. After that process he slowly poured batter onto the metal and closed it.
"So, why'd you invite me over?"
"To eat with me. I already told you."
"That's not all."
When had Alfred become so perceptive? He was almost never like that. He was usually really dumb.
"I was just thinking"
"Of what?"
Matthew pauses for a short moment.
"Do you want these waffles or not?"
"I'm just worried bout you man; you haven't called me up since pops passed."
Matthew cleared his throat. He hadn't talked about his dad dying in a while. He didn't like thinking about it.
"I'm fine Alf." he mumbled.
"Listen, I wasn't particularly close with Francis, but I miss him too"
"This isn't about him."
"Then what's it about, Matt. You didn't invite me over just to eat."
Before he could respond, the waffle maker went off. He took the first waffle out and repeated the process.
"I'm scared"
"Scared of what?"
Matthew regrettably started to get choked up. He felt sort of pathetic for even crying. He hadn't cried in front of his brother since their parents separated— and that was about 13 years ago.
Luckily for him, Alfred had been looking at his phone, so he didn't see the tears run down his cheeks.
Matthew quickly straightened himself up and continued to make waffles.
"I'm scared of losing you"
The words hung heavy for a while, Alfred didn't answer.
"Alfred, did you hear me?" he asked, knowing he's had issues in the past with speaking up.
"Clear as day"
Matthew felt his face grow red; Alfred didn't seem to care at all. He was embarrassed he'd even admit that. Why would his dumb brother care?
"Matt."
"Yeah?"
"I'm scared too"
Now that was a surprise.
"You are?"
"Mhm."
They don't talk for a few minutes after that, Matthew finishing off the waffle batter, setting the waffles on a plate, drenching them in maple syrup.
He brings the high stack to the table and sets it down right in the middle of both of them. There was an awkward tension, neither of them wanted to speak first.
The tension was quickly broken by Alfred's phone ringing.
"Is that…?"
"My boss, yeah."
He didn't pick up the call.
The phone stopped ringing a moment later.
"Do you ever miss him?"
"Who? Francis?"
"I hate it when you call him by his name. He was our dad."
"He was your dad, not mine"
"…You spent the first eight years of your life with him."
"It doesn't matter; he didn't love me like he loved you."
Matthew couldn't argue with that.
He cleared his throat.
"So how's Papa?"
"He's uh… he's doing fine"
"You sure?"
"Sorta"
Their other father, Arthur, had suffered greatly from grief since Francis had died. Even though they were divorced, Arthur had still loved him deeply. It was heartbreaking to watch as Arthur refused meals from anyone because he was just so heartbroken.
Alfred had eaten through two waffles so far, Matthew one. They didn't speak for that moment.
Despite everything, Matthew began to snicker a little.
"Remember the time Arthur left us in the park."
A small grin appeared on Alfred's face.
"And we were there until midnight?"
Matthew and Alfred burst into a fit of laughs, talking about how funny it was for their father to have forgotten them for that long. They had a lot of stories like that. From what they could remember, they had pretty shitty parents and that was okay.
They had gotten through the stack by the time they had gotten to the fifth story—they were talking about when Peter was born and how Arthur had dropped him straight on his head.
They hadn't laughed like this since Francis's funeral, and the only reason they had laughed was because his ex boyfriend, Antonio, had shown up and caused a scene. It was awful, but hilarious.
After their laughing had died down, it got awkward again, but less so.
"I miss him."
"…I can't say I do"
"It's okay"
Alfred sniffled.
"I love you, man."
"Love you too."
For the rest of the morning, they sat together and watched the sunrise,
And for the first time in a while, Matthew felt like he was going to be okay.