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Blood dripped down his fingers, lost to the endless space below.
X heaved in a sharp breath, but no matter how he breathed, no air went inside. Good. He didn't deserve air.
There was a remedy to help him breathe. A little blue tube Neptune had given that currently sat in his pocket, untouched. But X didn't deserve to use it. So he didn't.
Horrible, good-for-nothing morons didn't deserve to breathe.
The planet hiccuped, only to be cut off by another painful gasp, his body shaky and weak from the hours without proper breaths. The dehydration and hunger probably didn't help, but those too were off limits. Too bad. Such a shame.
He wasn't even hungry anymore. He felt sick.
X ran the sharp asteroid over his arm again, anywhere, anything he could reach- the sharp sting and warmth that dripped a relief that momentarily shut up his throbbing mind.
It hurt.
Good.
Angry red lines bled all over both his arms, some already numb, some still hurting, and long having stained his clothes. Drip, drip, drip.
All X felt when looking at his arms was relief.
It hurt.
It felt good.
He'd hurt someone. He hadn't meant to. X had... forgotten how strong he was.
But that didn't matter.
He did. Everyone hated him again. As they should.
And they didn't even care.
Everyone continued to laugh and have fun just fine without him.
Something special hurt with the knowledge of how unloved he was.
He stabbed the asteroid into his leg next. He'd run out of space on his arms, and as soothing as the amount of red was, he wanted it to spread. He wanted the physical pain to drown out the guilt, the loneliness, how unloved he felt.
Why would someone love him? All he did was hurt people. He wasn't even good at anything.
His chest burned.
The remedy remained untouched.
Tears continued to leak down his face, down and down, swallowed by the cold and empty vacuum he called his orbit. Sometimes he stopped crying, just for a moment. But then he remembered the angry faces, the comments, how unchanged everything was even though he felt like he was dying- and the waterworks restarted just as easily.
He was thirsty.
He didn't deserve water.
One angry line became four, five, six- clouding his mind and burning him alive. The pain was sharp, and white-hot, and perfect. So perfect. Just as he deserved.
Something he did good.
X took a break to gasp again, asteroid slipping out of his shaking grip. He cursed at himself, trying to grab it again- but he failed miserably, far too weak to take it properly. He grumbled, annoyed, and ended up using his gravity to pull it back towards himself.
He wanted to be loved.
He'd actually been trying, ironically, to be someone deserving of care, when he'd accidentally done the wrong thing. They'd gotten angry.
No one would explain to X what he'd done wrong.
He'd pushed back, getting far too angry far too fast.
X was strong. Far too strong.
The asteroid was pressed into his calf one more time, but his skin wouldn't bleed.
He pressed it again, harder this time. The skin wouldn't break.
He hit the rock against his limb.
It shattered.
X froze up completely, stuck watching the shards spill past his fingers, and into the space around. He hadn't squeezed that hard. X wasn't strong enough to-
Large hands took hold of his own.
X panicked.
No, he wanted to scream. Let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go, let me-
But no words came out.
Panicked chirps and squeals came out of his mouth instead.
Whoever was holding him did not let go. If anything, they tightened their grip, pain radiating down the fresh cuts on his wrists- but this time it brought no relief. He squirmed and kicked and angrily wagged his tail, hitting their body, legs, hips, anything he could reach- but they did not let go.
"X- X enough-" Jupiter grunted behind him, easily hoisting his weakened body against his own, and pinning him against him. "Enough."
He gasped for air in between distressed purrs. His core beat fast, far too fast, begging for air he wouldn't let himself have, and in turn, he heaved again.
He couldn't stop fighting.
"Stop." Jupiter squeezed, doing no favors to his body. Instantly, X felt a couple joints crack, having been stiff from how long he'd sat in that same position.
He felt dizzy. His head hurt.
Let me go...
"Erebus."
And he stopped struggling.
His legs stopped kicking and his tail went limp.
All he could do was cry.
Once the giant was sure the ice giant wouldn't run away did he loosen his grip, gently lowering themselves until Jupiter sat on his knees, and X sat on his lap. The smaller would have just collapsed forward, had the other not been holding him up. "Shh, shh," Jupiter shushed softly, pulling his head under his chin, and nuzzling into the curls. "I know," he murmured. "I know."
Did he?
X collapsed into his embrace despite not wanting to, body far too frail to try and escape again.
Jupiter was loved.
X was not.