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Kyouka wakes up on a typical August morning, the air already hot and humid. She has been in the Agency for a little over a year. Now she finally feels that every part of her deserves the light. Does the sin of taking 35 lives still weigh heavily upon her? Yes. And she has accepted the fact that it will always stay with her. But now she doesn't see it as a curse. She sees it as motivation to keep pushing to be the detective the city needs.
That is not her only motivation. Atsushi, who she still lives with, is still her guiding light in both professional and personal spheres. Though…her feelings for him are still just as deep and loud. She knows Atsushi is just as oblivious even after living with her for so long.
Kyouka can hear Atsushi in the kitchen fixing up breakfast. When she enters, the table has two plates of omurice, orange juice for him and milk for her. While they are eating, they discuss the work they have for today. Because it's Sunday, both the school and office are closed and the detectives are on patrol duty.
“Hey, Kyouka-chan,” Atsushi says brightly. “Did you know that today is Friendship Day?”
Kyouka shakes her head. “I don't know what it is.”
“Ah… You've never celebrated Friendship Day?” Atsushi asks. Kyouka shakes her head again. “It's okay. I've never celebrated it either. I got to know about it yesterday when I was with Dazai-san and Kunikida-san. According to Kunikida-san, on this day, you give a friendship bracelet to the person you consider your friend. Isn't that cute?”
Kyouka hums but doesn’t react much. She doesn’t know who she sees as a friend. The Agency is like a family to her. The President is definitely a grandfather figure. Kunikida is her father figure. Yosano is her mother figure. Ranpo and Dazai are her uncles. Tanizaki, Naomi, and Kenji are like siblings. She doesn't see Atsushi as just a friend either, obviously.
They both soon get to work, patrolling the Agency territory together. Patrol duty is in pairs, for maximum efficiency according to Kunikida. Soon it’s lunch time. Atsushi and Kyouka go to a traditional soba restaurant so Kyouka can have her favorite tofu.
As they wait for the food to arrive, Atsushi turns to Kyouka. He reaches into his pocket and takes out a small paper bag. Kyouka raises an eyebrow. “What is that?”
Atsushi doesn't speak. He simply smiles and reaches into the bag. He then takes out a blue and red beaded bracelet with a moonflower charm. “It's a friendship bracelet…” he looks at her warmly, “...for you.”
Kyouka freezes out of shock and disbelief. Atsushi misinterprets it as happiness. After all, why would he predict romantic love from a 15 year old girl?
“I wanted to surprise you since you are my most important friend and my sister in bond,” he continues, smiling in a way that usually makes her heart skip a beat. But now it only makes her heart sink.
Atsushi's smile doesn't falter when Kyouka doesn't immediately accept the friendship bracelet. He keeps on holding it out for her, an act that crushes her hopes and dreams further.
Kyouka looks down, hiding her facial expression with the shadows of her bangs. She begrudgingly accepts it and smiles in a strained manner. “Thank you…” she says quietly, her voice colder and more stoic.
Atsushi frowns slightly. “Do- do you not like the colours, Kyouka-chan?” He messes his hair in panic.
Kyouka straightens up, an elegant smile on her face. She shakes her head gently and says, “I like the bracelet. I'm just…disappointed that I couldn't get you a bracelet as well. I…must have forgotten.”
Her lie works like a charm. A small part of her wants Atsushi to see the truth of her heart's intentions. But the bigger part of her is now afraid. The flicker of hope has been smothered in the face of his strong friendship and brotherly love.
She puts on the bracelet, slowly moving it over her left wrist, letting it rest right around her pulse, the proof that her heart is beating despite breaking. The elastic is not suffocating, but it seems to be so to the potential love story she had conjured in her mind.
Atsushi pats her head, not knowing how cruel that gesture feels. Yet, she can’t bring herself to hate him, for he did nothing wrong. After a few minutes, when the food arrives, Atsushi’s attention goes to his bowl of chazuke. Kyouka stares at the steaming tofu, no spark of hunger and excitement in her dark blue eyes. But she doesn’t want Atsushi to see her heartbreak. So she reluctantly picks up her chopsticks, breaks them apart, and mutters a quiet “Itadakimasu”.
She doesn’t know how she hides her pain for the remaining patrol hours. Her eyes are on the ground, unable to lift her chin anymore. She wants to be left alone. When they finally return home, Kyouka goes into the bathroom and stays there for a long time. The occasional drip-drip of the showerhead and shifting of the pipes accompany her silent tears.
She doesn’t want to cry. Crying, she feels, makes her weak. She wants to be strong. She wants to believe. She wants to rip the bracelet apart and watch the beads fall to the ground and make a heart. She wants to get up and find out how she can make Atsushi love her.
But deep inside she knows…she knows that it was a foolish wish.
When Atsushi sees Kyouka's red-rimmed eyes during dinner, she simply says, “I was overcome with emotion at how you see me as your friend and sister. I am…grateful for those feelings. And I promise to be the best sister you could have asked for.”
Her romantic feelings are buried deep inside, the only part of her that doesn't experience the mercy of the light.