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The winters this year had been harsh and unforgiving. Patrols had to be shortened so the risk of frostbite wasn’t so severe, which Ellie found herself not minding as much as she thought she would. She’d had her fair share of numb fingers and toes and hated the feeling.
They were approaching the coldest month of the year, and the temperature was already well below freezing. Ellie slipped on her gloves and jacket before heading out into the early morning light.
The cold bit at her face immediately and she knew it wouldn’t be long before her nose and cheeks would be colored red. Snow crunched under her feet as she made her way to the stables. There weren’t many people out yet, leaving the town quiet and tranquil. Ellie found herself able to appreciate these moments now. She needed a sense of calm in her chaotic life.
The stables offered little relief from the cold, so she readied Shimmer as quickly as she could and headed for the gate. There were only about a dozen people there, since it was so early. Of course, it was just her luck to be put on the first patrol of the day. And with Greg, someone she rarely went on patrols with.
“Good morning, everyone!” Jesse greeted. “Get to your lookouts, clear any infected you may come across, and get back safely. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” He jests, earning a chuckle from a few people. “Alright, get going.”
The gates were opened and Greg gave Ellie a nod to indicate that he was ready to take off. Ellie followed suit, mounting Shimmer and following close behind him. Greg was a simple boy. Respectful, didn’t talk much, and was a little scared of her. Ellie wasn’t sure if she liked that or not. He wasn’t a terrible patrol partner, he just wasn’t someone she was close to. Their patrols usually went with few words between them.
Their trip to the first lookout was uneventful. Greg had apparently been on this route many times, though this was only Ellie’s third time, and had already searched all the buildings along the way for supplies. Said they were clear of infected. Ellie didn’t feel like arguing.
The immediate area was devoid of infected and people, so Ellie signed them in with an ‘All clear’. The next lookout was just a few miles north, so they saddled up once again and headed out.
The familiar sound of clickers broke the silence of their trip. Ellie looked at Greg, who pursed his lips into a slight frown. Wordlessly, they parked the horses in a nearby garage and cautiously approached the source of the sound.
They couldn’t see them yet, but the clicking sounded close. Ellie climbed into one of the houses through a broken window, careful to avoid the glass. They had to be in here. Greg, however, was not as careful when he climbed through, and the loud cracking of glass earned a screech from the clickers.
Ellie looked over her shoulder at him, hoping her expression displayed her annoyance. She snuck behind the couch just as one of the clickers came running with the other not far behind. Only two, it seemed. That was good. One for each of them.
With a jerk of her head, Ellie moved behind one of the infected and left the other for Greg, who was much quieter this time around. Nearly simultaneously, they took them out.
“Search for any more.” Ellie said, voice low. She was pretty certain the house was empty, but better safe than dead. After picking up what few things she could, she found Greg and they headed back to the horses.
They still had around a mile and a half to go, but Ellie could already feel her fingers getting tingly and stiff. The wind was picking up a bit too, and it made her face sting. She should have brought a scarf.
Not far from the neighborhood was a small bridge with a creek under it, completely frozen solid. Ellie wished it were spring so she could hear the water flowing and see the sunlight filter through the trees. It was mostly overcast in the winter, and Ellie found herself missing the sun often.
Especially now, as the sun might keep her from shivering. Up ahead, she could see Greg starting to get cold too. With a little kick from Ellie, Shimmer picked up the pace to match Greg’s horse.
“Hey, how much further?” She asked, seeing her breath linger in the air.
“Not much. Maybe half a mile?” He shrugged. His nose and cheeks were red, and she’s sure hers were too.
The half mile was all trees on either side of them. Very boring, nothing to look at. But, they finally reached the second lookout. It was the tallest part of a jail on the outskirts of a small town.
The inside wasn’t much warmer than outside, but it kept them out of the wind and they both finally stopped shivering. Ellie offered to climb to the top to look out at the town. She grabbed a pair of binoculars off the sign in table and headed up the small ladder.
With nothing to block the wind on the tower, she quickly felt the sting of it on her face again. Glancing around, Ellie spotted something that piqued her interest. A bookstore. Dina had been talking about wanting something new to read. Jackson had a small library, but Dina claimed she had either read every book or wasn’t interested in it.
Ellie didn’t see anything in the town, so she headed back down. Greg was rubbing his hands together and pacing around the room. He looked up at her once she approached, halting the rubbing of his hands.
“Anything?”
Ellie shook her head, and made note of it as she signed them in.
“Alright, let’s head back then. It’s too damn cold out here.” He muttered.
“Actually,” Ellie shuffled her feet for a moment. “There’s something I wanna check out. But you head back and warm up. I’ll just be a few minutes.”
He furrowed his brows, staring at her like she did something wrong.
“We should really stick together.” He said. Ellie sighed.
“I know, but I’ll be fine. It’s just down the street.” He still stared. “I’ll be quick.”
He started heading towards the stairs, looking back at her every few seconds.
“Are you sure?” He stopped after the second step. “I really don’t want–”
“If I’m not back an hour after you, then you can worry.” She tries to look reassuring. He frowns, eyes staying on hers.
“Fine. One hour.” He points at her to emphasize his seriousness. Ellie just gives him a thumbs up in response and he finally heads down the stairs. Once she hears the sound of hooves fading away, she heads down too.
It did shock her a bit that Greg actually let her go on her own. Maybe it was good that he was a little scared of her. But, she did need to keep her promise of getting back within an hour of him, otherwise the whole town would be out searching for her. And Joel would be pissed.
Or worried sick.
She wasn’t sure which was worse.
Light on her feet, she walked down the street towards the bookstore. It was a cute little building with shutters on either side of the windows and big wooden doors with an intricate glass pattern. Ellie peeked inside before slowly opening one of the doors. It was heavy, but thankfully, not very loud.
So far, it was silent in the building. That ruled out all infected except one. She made sure to check around every corner as she went by them, keeping an eye out for anything that moved.
There were labels above the shelves that indicated what genre of books were there, which was very helpful, except for the fact that she wasn’t exactly sure what Dina liked. She knew Dina wasn’t really into comics like Ellie was, and she definitely didn’t like crime or murder mystery. Maybe romance? But she was dating Jesse so maybe she didn’t want that?
“Ugh, this is hard.” She muttered. Her and Dina had gotten much closer in the past few months and yet somehow, she didn’t know what she might want to read. What kind of friend was she?
Ellie scanned the comedy section, resisting the urge to pick up yet another joke book for herself. Though, she moved on quickly, not seeing anything that Dina might like. Historical Fiction. That could be promising.
Ellie pulled a few from the shelf, observing the pictures on the covers. The clothes they wore were like nothing she’d ever seen. Long dresses with elaborate lace and buttons, some even had weird hats that went around their face like a rainbow. Ellie couldn’t imagine herself wearing anything like that. Definitely not practical for combat.
She picked up a book that had no people on the cover, just a snowy street that looked like it had been destroyed. Flipping it over, the back revealed it was about World War II. Distantly, Ellie remembers Dina mentioning something about that before. Quickly, she put it in her backpack and moved on to the next section.
Of course it was romance. The shelves in this section were pretty sparse, but Ellie hoped she could find something. A creak from behind had her pulling out her knife before she could whip around to see what it was. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something dart behind a shelf.
“Damn,” She hissed, slowly stepping away. As quiet as she could, she went to the other side of the shelf it went behind and hoped it wasn’t looking in her direction. It wasn’t, and she seized the opportunity to kill it from behind.
With a sharp exhale, Ellie scanned the room for any more, but didn’t see any. She went back to the romance section and pulled out a book that seemed interesting enough. Checking the back revealed it was about a coffee shop? It seemed cheesy and cute, and Dina would probably like it. Into her backpack it went.
Before she could slip the straps over her shoulders another stalker jumped out at her. With a grunt, she dodged it, grabbing her backpack as she did. She pulled it on as she quickly stepped away. The stalker charged her again and she used her knife to stab it, but it didn’t go down. And with her shaky hands, the knife managed to slip out of her grasp.
“Fuck.” Ellie cursed as the stalker ducked behind a shelf. She’d have to find it if she wanted her knife back. And she sure as hell did.
Without her knife or anything else quiet she could use, she pulled out her pistol. She stepped around the area, hoping it would show itself. For what felt like forever, it didn’t. There was no sign of it. But she’ll be damned if she lets that thing keep her knife.
Rounding a corner, the stalker cried as it lunged at her and Ellie quickly jumped back before firing. In her haste she missed, and the stupid thing fled again.
“Come on.” She was getting frustrated. No longer being quiet, she walked around the place, eyes searching. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before she saw its head poke out from behind a chair and this time, Ellie charged it. With one good shot, it went down.
After dislodging her knife from its shoulder she practically ran for the exit. She got what she needed, now it was time to face the cold again and take her ass home. Not even bothering to shut the door behind her, she ran towards Shimmer.
With a quick pet and a few words of encouragement, Ellie mounted her and they rode off. It was a little brighter outside than it was before, but the sun was still hidden behind the clouds. She saw her breath in the air and realized she didn’t feel cold at all. That fight (and scare) really warmed her up.
Good, because it’s still several miles until she reaches Jackson.
Not long after leaving the jail it started snowing. Not hard, thankfully, just some light flurries. It would be pretty, if she knew the area better. But she’d only done this route three times, counting today. The motion and monotony of it was making it more difficult to make out her surroundings.
She passed the bridge and frozen creek, went through the neighborhood no problem. The quiet was making her anxious. It was eerie, the lack of any noise. She couldn’t even hear a bird chirping. Her hands shook. She blamed it on the cold.
Then, she did hear something. But, by the time she could look to see what it was, Shimmer was up on her back two legs and crying out. Ellie landed on her back in the snow, unable to breathe and watching her horse take off without her.
The runner that spooked Shimmer was sprinting towards her and she desperately grasped for anything she could use. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t get to her weapons quick enough, so she kicked. It yelled as she did, jumping back for a moment. By then, Ellie could take a breath in.
Less calmly than she would have liked, she fumbled for her knife and stabbed the thing when it approached again. In the face this time, and then one more time for good measure. It fell to the ground with a quiet thump. Ellie scrambled to her feet and ran.
Shimmer was fast, but maybe, maybe she stopped somewhere and Ellie could find her. She hadn't even reached the first lookout, which meant she had at least four miles to go until she reached Jackson.
Ellie ran until her lungs burned. Her face felt like she’d been slapped all over, and her chest heaved with every breath she took. Her eyes were teary from the wind and she was sure she looked a mess. But that wasn’t important right now. She needed to get home. The area around her looked a little familiar, and she could barely make out horse tracks in the snow.
If it was Greg’s horse, then she was on the right track. If it was Shimmer’s, she could be anywhere. That thought unsettled her. Unsure, she kept walking. If she kept moving, then she would at least be making progress.
“God, this was a dumb idea.” She lamented, seriously questioning why Greg let her go on her own. No, this was her fault. Not his. Would she have done the same if it were him?
Off in the distance somewhere, Ellie could have sworn she heard a neigh. Hopeful, she looked around the trees and few scattered buildings nearby. Nothing.
“Shimmer!” She called, hoping her horse would come running and not a pack of clickers. But nothing came. With a shiver, Ellie kept walking.
Finally, she could see the silhouette of the first lookout. Her body felt like it was moving in slow motion. Her feet dragged in the snow, and she wasn’t sure if she could even feel any of her toes anymore. She had some false hope that somehow, Greg would be here with her horse. As she approached the building and saw nothing, that thought faded away.
The lookout was just about as warm as it was the first time, so not very. Exhausted, she sat against the wall furthest from the window. Even after several minutes, she never stopped shivering. She was so fucking cold.
It had been approximately four and a half hours since they left Jackson, with their only relief from the cold being inside a slightly less cold building. Ellie really should have brought a scarf. Or a hat. What was she thinking?
Once again, she reminded herself that she needed to get back soon. And with the snow, if she waited too long, the tracks would be impossible to see. Standing on her shaky legs, she willed herself to keep moving.
Opening the door was like a slap in the face. The wind hit her hard, and her already wind burned face protested with pain. Still, she had to keep going. She wasn’t sure if her hour window before people worried about her was up or not. Joel would raise hell if he got word that she was missing. Briefly, Ellie worried about Greg's safety.
The crunching of the snow under her boots was rhythmic and she felt herself growing tired. Her arms stayed wrapped tight around her middle as she trudged on. And still, her shaking never ceased. Ellie wondered if she would have rock hard abs by the time she got home.
Eventually, her steps became less rhythmic as she started stumbling over nothing. All other sounds were lost on her except the sound of her shallow breathing. But, the buildings around her did look familiar. She was still on the right path.
A loud yell broke her trance, and for a moment she hoped it was someone looking for her. If only to have a horse to ride back home with. But the frantic pace and arm movements made it clear that it was a runner. Ellie pulled her gun and shot.
The sound of a clicker meant that she fucked up. “I thought Greg cleared this area?” She mumbled half heartedly. The clicker was far away, coming out of some building she had already passed. So, she kept walking. She made sure to actually listen for it so she’d know if it was getting close to her.
It stopped snowing, which helped. Made it a little easier to see. Especially since Ellie was having a hard time focusing. She felt like she was watching a movie or something, like she wasn’t actually there. It was weird but she didn’t find herself becoming anxious over it. She barely had enough energy to keep walking.
Finally, once her legs were on the verge of giving out, she saw the gate to Jackson. Relief washed over her like a warm shower once she could say with confidence that she wasn’t going to die out in the snow.
She willed herself to walk faster, but her legs were barely carrying her anymore. A sharp pain on the side of her leg woke her up. Ellie looked up to see the glint of a gun on the wall, and she realized that one of them had shot her. Looking down at her blood in the snow, she slowly put her hands up to show she wasn’t a threat.
Thankfully, the bullet only grazed her, but it did rip a thin line in her pants. Then, she realized someone was running towards her, but she couldn’t make out who.
“Ellie! I’m so sorry!” The man called as he got closer.
“Why the fuck did you shoot me?” She asked, no bite to her words. The wind made her sway.
“I thought you were an infected!” He cried, grabbing ahold of her and walking her towards the gate.
Once they passed through, there were people all around them asking where she was and if she was okay. Ellie was sure that she looked like shit, but she tried not to think about it.
“We were just about to come lookin’ for you,” Tommy. Tommy was here. Which meant Joel probably knew about her poor decision. Fuck. “When Shimmer showed up without you, we all started thinkin’ the worst.” He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed.
“I’m sorry.” She managed to whisper. Among the small crowd, she saw Greg, who looked like he’d seen a ghost. At least he wasn’t beaten to a pulp. That was good.
“Come on, let’s get you warmed up.” Tommy grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her along. She went without protest.
He led her to the clinic and Ellie practically begged him to let her go home. She’d already had too many human interactions for the day, considering how shitty she felt. All she wanted to do was curl up in bed with more blankets than she needed.
“Ellie, you’re ice cold already. And they’ll clean up that bullet graze.” He tried. Ellie shook her head.
“Please, Tommy.”
Finally, he gave in, and they headed towards her and Joel’s house. No words were exchanged between them after that. But Ellie did relish in the heat Tommy was radiating. It wasn’t much, but it kept her going.
When Tommy walked her into the house, (“It’s warmer.” He said.) Joel was shrugging his jacket on, boots already laced and everything.
“Ellie!” He called, surprised. Ellie couldn’t bring herself to say anything. “What the hell were you thinkin’?” Rushing up to her, his hands on her shoulders replaced Tommy’s.
“I don’t know…” She mumbled, looking down at the floor.
“I’ll leave you guys to it,” Tommy awkwardly shuffled towards the door. “I’ll check back later.” And with that, he was gone.
Joel gave her a look which meant he was trying not to yell at her before stepping away from her. Once he did, she nearly fell over. She hoped he didn’t see. He started making his way back to her with a blanket in his hands as she stumbled towards the couch.
Trying to avoid staining the fabric with her blood, she laid on her side, leaving her wound in plain view. Bad idea, apparently.
“Ellie, what–”
“It’s nothing. Just a graze.” She waved, feeling her eyes immediately grow heavier once she was off her feet. She took the blanket from his outstretched hand, tucking it under her head so it wouldn’t be damp from her boots or blood. Joel let out a huff and walked off again. More like stomped, actually, but she didn’t say anything.
He came back a moment later with alcohol and a clean rag. Ellie reached out to take it from him, but he pulled it away from her. Anger was clearly displayed in his expression as he held the items just out of her reach.
“I can do it, Joel.” She muttered. When he didn’t move, Ellie sighed and sat up. “You’re mad at me, it’ll hurt.” She said.
“I’m not mad at you,” Joel scoffed. Ellie wasn’t buying it.
“Really?” The disbelief was evident in her tone.
“I’m mad at the asshole that shot you, and the one who let you go off by yourself.”
“It was my fault. I told him to go without me.” She kept eye contact as she spoke. Her body still shivered from the cold, but it wasn’t as violent as before. “Can you just…” She trailed off, looking away from his sharp gaze. “Make me something warm to drink? Please?”
He stared at her a moment longer before letting out a sigh and handing her the rag and alcohol. “Fine.”
Ellie watched him walk away, guilt manifesting in her chest. She wasn’t entirely sure why.
Unsteadily, she slipped off her gloves, quickly noticing that the top half of her fingers were white. Like all the blood had drained from them. Still, she ignored it, choosing to prioritize the mess on her leg.
The alcohol stung, but it was manageable. As she dabbed the blood away, she could see the path of the bullet, but luckily it wasn’t very deep. It would heal just fine without stitches. As long as she kept it clean.
Deeming her wound clean enough, she set the items on the floor and tugged at the laces on her boots. She was grateful that she wore boots instead of her typical canvas shoes today, because she definitely would have been in worse shape without the adequate foot protection.
Just as she slipped the second boot off, Joel came over with a steaming mug in his hands. His eyes flicked to her leg, which didn’t look nearly as bad anymore, before meeting her gaze.
“Warm milk and honey.” He said quietly. His anger seems to have dissipated some.
“Thanks,” She mumbled as she took the mug from him. The heat burned her fingers, but she took a drink anyway. The warmth felt good as it traveled down into her stomach, heating her up from the inside out. Once again, her eyes became hard to keep open.
It wasn’t long before the mug was empty and the blanket laid over her, snuggled right under her chin. Ellie meant to get up and go to her own bed in the garage, but her exhaustion got the better of her.
When she woke up, she heard voices coming from the kitchen. Slowly, she sat up, rubbing her eyes as she did. Dina came over to her, light on her feet, and knelt next to the couch with a small smile.
“How’re you feeling?” She asked sweetly. Ellie shrugged, not meeting her gaze.
“Better than before.”
Dina chuckled, but didn’t say anything else.
“I got you something.” Ellie said, starting to get up. Dina quickly pushed her back down, concern overriding her features.
“Woah, woah, woah, I heard you got shot.” Ellie rolled her eyes, letting herself be pushed against the back of the couch.
“I did not get shot,” She argued. “It just grazed me.” Ellie tugged the blanket back to show Dina.
“Oh.” Her eyes darted around Ellie’s leg, taking it in. It really wasn’t bad, but she knew Dina would still worry about it like Joel had.
“I did like these pants though…” Ellie muttered, earning a smile from Dina. “Can you hand me my backpack?” She finally asked, since it was clear she wouldn’t be getting it herself.
Wordlessly, Dina grabbed it and placed it on the spot next to Ellie. She dug through it, finding the two things she almost died for, and presented them to Dina. She felt Joel’s eyes on her from the kitchen and it made her uncomfortable.
“Books?” Dina took one, flipping through the pages. “You risked your life to get me books?”
“What, you don’t like them?” Ellie teased.
“Well, of course I do but…” She looked up at Ellie, brows furrowed. “Don’t ever do that again!” Her words came with a hit to the arm, and Ellie grabbed it out of habit.
“I won’t,” Ellie smiled.
“Good.”