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The coffee machine made a steady dripping sound that blended with the soft music playing from the radio, and the humming of Pin’s voice. Warmth emitted from her as she stood close by to the oven, kissed by vanilla and butter as she whisked cake batter in a bowl.
Hair put up inattentively, with stray curls and baby hairs peeking out unrestrained. She wore an apron stained with flour, and she walked barefoot through the hardwood floors while looking for eggs.
Coiny sat on the counter, cup of coffee being nursed in his hands, gaze nowhere except locked on the girl in front of him. A tender smile on his face.
It hadn’t always been like this.
Loving her hadn’t felt like a featherflight, like dropped shoulders.
Pin was reckless, unpredictable. Unsteady.
But he didn’t care.
There could be a list of all the things she was, but as long as ‘his best friend’ was up there, he’d be satisfied.
Though…
there was something sweet about these moments of loving feeling easy, too.
She was a rollercoaster then, but in this moment she was the shoreline of a morning beach. There was always movement, just steadier now.
Calmer.
Pin approached a spoon dripping in red batter near his face, with a soft expression. “Tell me if that’s enough sugar or if it isn’t sweet enough.” Coiny’s fingers motioned to reach for the spoon, but Pin beat him to it by gently feeding him the batter directly. He was a little surprised, but warmed up to the gesture, redness scattering throughout his cheeks.
“I think…” he began, analysing the taste.
“It’s the right point of sweet. But… a little more vanilla could make it better.”
Just then, Pin’s eyes lit up. “Ohh, vanilla… right, that’s what I’m looking for…” she said, reaching towards a counter for the bottle. Once found, she poured some into the batter and whisked again.
She met Coiny’s eyes and a smile inevitably formed in her face, before she looked down once more to focus on the task at hand.
She had never felt as safe with someone else before.
He was trust to her.
Unconditional love.
Regardless of her ups and downs, her mannerisms, her flaws, her everything…
she knew he loved her because, not despite. Not because anyone was making him.
Coiny simply chose to love her again and again and again.
He was curious about her, wanted to, little by little, learn more about her everyday. Watched as she did what she loved.
Helped.
Stayed.
Sometimes she wondered if he ever regretted sticking by her side.
But she saw his eyes, and suddenly there’s no room for overthinking.
It’s just him and her and his love.
Pin prepared herself to pour the red velvet batter onto the tray, before hesitating.
“You… you like doing this part, don’t you?” Pin quietly said. Coiny perked up. “Uh… yeah, yeah, I do,” he replied with a sheepish grin, an irresistible urge to smile overtaking him.
He knew this was a side to Pin that many didn’t think existed.
Those who saw her as a cold hearted girl, shelling her feelings away from the world.
She showed her affection in the little moments. There didn’t need to be these grand demonstrations of love from her, because they knew the presence of one another, no matter what, was evidence enough of love.
The choice of staying demonstrated more than anything else could.
Coiny poured the red velvet batter onto the trays, a steady and controlled movement. He knew Pin letting him into her little world, her baking sanctuary, was a luxury no one else could afford.
He wanted nothing else but to live in that little world forever.
She wanted nothing else but for him to stay.
The cake went into the oven soon enough, and once it did, she moved towards the sink to wash the dishes. Coiny stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her torso, burying his face on the crook of her neck. It was a perfect fit. Like, by design, he was meant to be next to her.
He reached his arms out towards the front, and tried taking a plate in between his hands, with much struggle. “Tsk. Silly, you can’t wash them behind me,” she muttered quietly. Though, stubbornly, he continued insisting.
“Mmm, yeah, no, I’ll do it,” he mumbled in reply.
“You’re just splashing me more.”
“Okay, then let me wash them.”
Pin turned off the sink, to turn around and narrow her eyes at him. “I’m almost done already.”
Coiny chuckled. “All the more reason.”
He wiped his hands with a rag to place them around Pin again, and to gently move her aside so he was in front. Without another word, he began washing the rest of the things.
Pin couldn’t help herself from smiling.
“Thank you.”
She wasn’t used to letting herself receive sometimes.
But she was learning.
If accepting help could be as sweet as the toasted vanilla scent coming from the oven…
then maybe she could ease into it.
And he wanted her to know that. That he helped not to hold it over her head, to ask for something later.
That that wasn’t how it worked.
You do without expecting anything in return.
You act out of love.
Pin was starting to understand it, that she didn’t have to do things to be loved. It was her natural right.
As the cake was being baked by the oven, a comfortable silence fell over Coiny and Pin. Coiny sat up on a counter, swinging his feet, while Pin stayed sat criss-crossed in front of the oven, the warm light softening the features of her face.
Coiny gazed at her in admiration of her beauty. How could one be so unaware of one’s own beauty…
With her carelessly pinned up hair, stray strands falling on her face, flour on her cheeks and the crook of her neck, red velvet lips.
She turned to face him, a sly smile on her face.
“How long have you been looking?”
Red scattered in Coiny’s cheeks.
“Not long…”
Pin narrowed her eyes at him, but the playful smile didn’t drop. Coiny returned the look.
“Okay, maybe a little.” He then climbed down from the counter to sit next to her.
Coiny dropped his head on Pin’s shoulder.
The cake was steadily rising. It felt like breathing.
Loving each other felt like breathing again.
She wouldn’t have to hold her breath ever again.