Archive of Our Own ^beta

Nino knows exactly how life goes. He knows the rules and knows that he has to keep to them. His education may not have been the best (though he knows his mother tried her best), but he believes that by now he's smart enough to tell right from wrong.

*

Nino was seven when he first stopped time. It happened when his mother had been in the middle of berating him for throwing his Gameboy to the ground in a fit of rage after losing a game. All of a sudden everything turned quiet, eerily still. His mother's eyes were strangely wide, her mouth forming a soundless “O”. Nino laughed, but the sound got lost and only brought back uneasiness.

Nino stared at his mother. He poked her. Ran a circle around her.

“Mum?” he squeaked, agitated. After that he didn't dare say anything further.

His hands were shaking when he picked up his Gameboy and ran up the stairs to his room. The fish in their tank weren't moving. The hands on his clock stood still.

Seven-year-old Nino had no idea what was happening. He jumped onto his bed, covering himself with his blanket and hoping it would stop. Hoping that it would go on.

*

Nino knows right from wrong.

*

At first he was just angry that the TV picture had to freeze up in the middle of one of Doctor Slump's exciting experiments. Of course it had to be then of all times.

But eleven-year-old Nino was used to it by now. So he pulled up his knees to wrap his arms around them and waited. He knew it would be over soon.

Only this time it wasn't.

After a while Nino grew restless and did something he had sworn he wouldn't do again while time was standing still: he moved and got up. His mother hadn't believed him the first time it had happened – of course she wouldn't, he had been seven and unable to explain – but she had been visibly puzzled as to why he hadn't been standing in front of her anymore. Puzzlement had soon turned into anger and he hadn't been reunited with his Gameboy until after one very, very long week. It didn't stop after that.

For that reason he had decided to simply wait it out in one spot and not move around much. That way he avoided drawing attention.

But usually it wouldn't last so long. Of course he couldn't always judge for how long time was standing still, because no clock ever worked; but he had always relied on his gut feeling. It had always felt quite short. Ten, sometimes twenty minutes, max. One time he had even tried counting the seconds but had lost count after four minutes and given up. 

But those few minutes were definitely over now. It was starting to feel like hours. And still, nothing was moving, no sound came from anywhere.

So Nino got up and went up to his room. He still had the fish tank. The fish were floating in the water, immobile as if frozen. As if they weren't even real.

His gaze fixed on the fish, he plopped down on his bed and pulled the blanket protectively around himself – something he hadn't done in a long time. He waited.

At some point tears were welling up in his eyes. He couldn't fight them because they were not just tears, they were the beginning of desperation gripping his body. Desperation which grew more intense and, with each passing second, threatened to choke him. When he finally let the tears spill it was more like a salvation, a way to release some of the pressure.

So Nino cried and cried and cried, hoping desperately that time would start again soon. He started to sweat under the covers because it was way too hot, but he burrowed even deeper into them. He wouldn't let go of this security blanket from his childhood. Not now that he so urgently needed it.

“Move. Please, please, move,” he whispered to one of his frozen fish every time he was about to hyperventilate, when he was breathing way too fast, and when the question arose whether time would ever start flowing again.

Or if it might stand still forever.

After what felt like two days, his fish were swimming merrily around the tank again. Nino could hardly believe it. At first he just stared at the tank, watching the fish dash to and fro in the water. Then he stood up on shaky legs, his eyes red from crying. He had no idea how he was supposed explain to his mother why he looked so drained, why he wanted nothing more than to squeeze her tight and never let go. Why he wanted to cry so much but couldn't find any tears anymore. Why he couldn't stop shaking.

His hand was already poised over his doorknob when he realized he could never explain it to her.

And that it was high time to act.

In this moment, eleven-year-old Nino had the idea, for the first time, to start and try controlling time.

*

However, knowing what is right does not prevent one from doing wrong. Day after day, Nino gets confronted with this fact.

He would love to go and see Sho. 

Sometimes he even gets as far as standing in front of his door, finger hovering above the door bell next to the beautifully engraved metal plaque reading Sakurai. But then he stops, sometimes just himself, sometimes the flow of time and freezing everything around him. He stops and disappears again.

He would love to go see Sho, talk to him, maybe even kiss him. But he can't. He knows he has disappointed Sho and will continue disappointing him. He knows that Sho doesn't feel safe in his presence and doesn't want to touch him in fear of his life rushing by too fast. And Nino can understand that. He knows the fears connected with the power he possesses. Which Sho also has.

He knows it's wrong not to go to Sho and that it's wrong not to apologize.

But—

Knowing what's wrong doesn't compel him to do the right thing.

So he does something in between.

*

He packs up his stuff – the small amount of money he stole from the bank (his guilty conscience is a constant companion flaring up – in particular whenever he is handling the bank notes), some clothes – writes the letter to his mother which he has wanted to write ever since he was eleven, and leaves. Just leaves everything behind.

Nino can count on one hand the times he's been to Tokyo. His mother has always hated the loud buzz of the city and when his father left with the intention of finding a new apartment in Tokyo, visits were completely over. Ever since, his mother has even forbidden him to take the three-hour-trip to Tokyo by train.

Now he's just hoping his mother will understand.

The trip doesn't seem long; too many thoughts occupy his mind. He's planning his first steps. Top priority on his list is finding cheap accommodation, start searching for a job, then invest himself in his true search. Finding another time shifter should be a lot easier in Tokyo than in his hometown. There are so many people in Tokyo after all. And if his freezing time a little already caught Sho's attention, it should go even faster in Tokyo.

Somewhere in the back of his mind the idea crops up that he's lying to himself. That Sho was special and that here in Tokyo he will look in vain for something he does not really want to find. But Nino swallows, shakes his head and pushes the thought back to where it came from – the farthest corner of his mind.

Nino gets off the train at Shinagawa station and immediately feels completely overwhelmed. He has forgotten just how gigantic the city is. All around him people are in a hurry, sometimes bumping into him because he doesn't belong here, is simply standing there and not moving with the crowd. He almost starts to hyperventilate and it's not long before he freezes time. Only now he can breathe easy and is able to form a coherent thought. He needs the quietness around him; maybe he's gotten too used to it already.

And shortly after, he wonders why he went to Tokyo of all places.

*

All these TV dramas his mother is always watching make it seem so much easier. The people there always up and leave to Tokyo with nothing but a few clothes and a little money in their pocket. They don't have any trouble finding an affordable apartment and a job at a nearby conbini store.

But Nino soon learns that nothing is that easy. The apartments on offer are much too expensive, he barely has enough money to pay the rent for a month. He's not even heard of all the extra costs and has never taken into account that he is too young and needs a compliance sheet from his parents to rent an apartment. Why did people have to make things so difficult if all he wanted to do was get away? Weren't there enough young people like him who just wanted to leave their old lives behind? Why did no one understand?

None of the conbini stores he has tried are in need of help. Not a single job offer has presented itself.

After four hours he's lost, standing at the gigantic, bustling Shibuya crossing. He's standing there asking himself whether he should just give up and take the next train back home.

“No,” he says to no one in particular, maybe only to himself. On one of the big screens a music video is playing with a group of young men singing about never giving up. Nino isn't sure if he should feel encouraged or mocked.

But what is waiting for him at home? His mother, certainly, sick with worry. The police, maybe, after all he did rob a bank. Just a few notes, he reassures himself quickly, but it doesn't really help.

Sho is waiting at home. Sho, who is afraid of him and doesn't want to see him. Surely he has heard of the robbery and connected the dots to know that it was Nino's doing. If he had already been furious about the headphones Nino nicked once, then what will he think of him now? He probably despises him. Most certainly.

All these musings make Nino realize that he doesn't want to go back, cannot go back. At present, his life can only move forward. A little less resolutely than he would've wished, he sets off to find a cheap hotel for the night, hoping that tomorrow his prospects will look a little brighter.

*

Twenty-three unanswered calls from his mother await him when he wakes up the next morning in an unfamiliar bed, in a strange city. Nino can't say he's feeling too peachy. His guilty conscience is weighing him down more than ever. Normally he'd have to be at school now. Not being there feels strange. His conscience is acting up again, questioning the sanity of his actions. But he ignores it, tries very hard to do so, starting a shower and wanting nothing more than to think of something else.

His head is full of images of Sho.

He misses the time they spent together. He misses the nights at the park so much it hurts.

Nino doesn't take long for his shower. He can't, or rather has to fight this longing threatening to tear him apart. He grabs the clothes thrown carelessly into a corner of the hotel room, glancing at his mobile. There are twenty-four calls by now. Without thinking he picks up the phone to call his mother. The call is answered after not even one ring.

“Kazun—” but his mom can't continue, because he speaks up immediately.

“I'm alright, I just need some time for myself. Please understand. I will come back home,” Nino says with his voice sounding oddly foreign to himself. He then ends the call without listening to his mother's answer.

He feels even worse now, of course.

*

He returns to the crossroads, to all the people there. First he only looks at the big screen where the music video played yesterday, waiting for it to be shown again. But it seems that it's been replaced by a video of the latest girl group playing on an infinite loop. He's already sick of it. Sighing, he turns away and checks how much money he's got. If he economizes on food and stays at the same hotel he might manage a week before facing a shortage of money. He has no idea if that is enough time to find anybody.

He has to try at least, there's no other option. So he freezes time. Each and every person in the street stops. All at once, Shibuya is absolutely quiet.

He doesn't know where the fear is coming from all of a sudden. Maybe it's because he has never before stopped time surrounded by such a crowd. Suddenly the fear seizes him again; it's the same as when he was eleven and thought his life would stand still forever.

He quickly lets the time flow again just to remind himself that by now he's able to control it. He takes a deep breath and stops again.

“What if it didn't go on?” he asks into the silence. This time there's not so much panic as curiosity. “What would it be like? If I were the only person on earth not frozen. The only one living?”

It'd be lonely, his subconscious answers.

But there are more time shifters. He is not the only one. He would just have to—

And then an idea hits him.

The crossroads is teeming with people, full of potential time shifters. He doesn't know how his chances are, but it's not as if he is in danger of running out of time while trying.

So he begins. He wanders from one to the other, touching them, waiting a few seconds, then turning to the next. A few make him wish they'll move at his touch (like the cute blonde girl with her shiny lips and showy cleavage, or the cool guy who reminds him a little of Sho with his lopsided cap). With others he hopes desperately they'll stay still, thinking twice about even touching them at all.

There are some moments where he's about to give up, because he has almost reached the other side of the crossroads without anyone moving. But he carries on, resolving to at least touch every person standing at the crossroads now.

When he's reached the other side he feels exhausted and disappointed.

*

Nevertheless, he continues the next day. First he waits for the crossroads to fill up with people, then he stops time and makes his way through the mass of stock-still bodies. Why he always chooses this particular crossroads in Shibuya he doesn't know. But he does it only here.

When he's not out looking for other time shifters he goes job hunting at conbini stores and restaurants. One time he almost succeeded, but then the owner wanted to know his age and seventeen was too young.

Nino is starting to question his expectations. And why he isn't at school. Then he thinks about Sho, who's there right now, his look when he accidentally fast-forwarded time to the next morning. And suddenly he remembers so clearly why he's doing all of this.

In a conbini he's greeted by the song he listened to at the crossroads when he first came here. It makes him smile, if only for a moment. But it feels good and he realizes that he hasn't smiled since he's arrived in Tokyo. The man behind the counter smiles back and Nino leaves the store with a considerably lighter step.

Then he goes back to the crossroads.

Even though this morning he has looked a few times already, something inside him urges him to try again. He wants to stop time once more and touch every person here.

Nino has crossed the street half-way when it happens.

“Huh?” the man whose shoulder he has just almost let go of utters. Nino holds his breath. The man turns around.

“Hi,” Nino says timidly, excited. He can't believe this is really happening, not after the thousands of people it didn't work on. He has no idea what's about to transpire nor what he's supposed to say, because amongst all the plans whirling around in his head he's never actually imagined this scenario. What do you tell somebody who was simply about to cross a street and now finds himself in a situation where all of the surrounding people are completely immobile.

But it becomes clear soon that Nino does not have to explain anything.

“Are you nuts? Start the time flow again immediately!” the stranger orders, horrified. Nino can't help but stare at him puzzled for a few seconds before letting time flow again. The man, however, stays where he is, as does Nino, while the crowd starts to move around them again.

“What?” Nino asks, disturbed, but the man quickly shakes his head.

“Not here. Come with me.”

So Nino goes with him, follows the man through the masses, across the crossroads, then along the street to the Lotteria where he's had lunch the last days. His mind is racing.

This guy is an experienced time shifter.

He must be, because otherwise he'd be much more surprised.

But why did he immediately order Nino to let time flow again? What does he know? And what's his plan now?

All along, his subconscious is asking what his plan with the man is, but Nino doesn't want to answer. Not yet.

“What do you want?” the man suddenly asks him, but Nino has no idea what he's referring to. Then he notices that the other is pointing at the menu so he hastily picks something, even though he doesn't feel the least bit hungry right now.

While they're waiting for their order Nino has the opportunity to study the man opposite him for the first time. A few minutes ago he was just another stranger among the others at the crossroads. One of those Nino was neither particularly eager nor opposed to have them awakening at his touch. Nino reckons he's in his early twenties, certainly a bit older than himself. He has a round, friendly face with tired eyes and quite a long nose. His hair might have been blonde once, but now it's a faded brown showing black roots. But this doesn't render him unattractive. He simply looks absolutely average.

They get their burgers and sit down in the farthest corner of the fast food restaurant. Nino's heart is beating just a hint too fast with excitement as the man looks at him expectantly.

“So...?” he prompts.

“So...,” Nino repeats. It was easier with Sho, because he had been clueless, fascinated and overwhelmed. This man across from Nino is nothing of the kind. He knows exactly what this is about and wants to hear something else from him.

When Nino continues to stay silent the man sighs, “So, what was that at the crossroads? Why did you stop time? And why did you touch me?”

“I was looking for you,” Nino answers without missing a beat.

“For me?”

“Not you in particular, but someone of our kind. Someone who can play with the flow of time, too.” Now that Nino has started to talk about it, his nervousness abates. He returns to his old self, the one he was before meeting Sho. Self-assured, fascinated by his own power, and curious about what else he can achieve with it.

“Play?” the other repeats incredulously and apparently not amused. Nino is nonplussed.

“You know what I mean, right? You're one, too. A time shifter,” he explains. The man says nothing for a moment and Nino watches impatiently while picking at the wrapper of his straw.

“I'm Ohno. Ohno Satoshi,” the man suddenly says. Nino smiles questioningly.

“My name. If you have been looking for me you should know that, shouldn't you?” Ohno smiles back and picks up his burger.

“Right.” Nino is about to mirror his action, when he remembers that he isn't even hungry. And aren't there still quite a few questions to be answered after all?

“How did you know I'm one of them?” Ohno asks then, sounding the slightest bit curious. Nino grins.

“I didn't. I simply stopped time and touched everybody.”

“Wow. Clever.”

Now Ohno is grinning and it's somehow contagious so Nino finds himself smiling back automatically. Ohno takes a bite of his burger. The atmosphere between the two may be a little awkward but all the more interesting.

So he has found someone, here in Tokyo. The thought is encouraging and Nino is still smiling while watching Ohno devour his burger. In contrast to Nino he must've been really starving.

“Do you know of any more here in Tokyo? More of us?” Nino asks when Ohno makes no sign that he's about to indulge him with any information.

“That's irrelevant. I don't wanna be involved in this anymore. And you should stay away from it, too,” Ohno answers.

That takes Nino by surprise. He stares at Ohno with big eyes before blurting out: “But why? Why should I do that? I mean, this power is so huge. And if we—if more of our kind got together—don't you know that we could become so much stronger?”

“It's youwho could become stronger. We others gain nothing from it,” Ohno corrects, disconcerting Nino a little.

“Why—,” he starts, but Ohno leans in, looking Nino straight in the eye. The tired look is gone entirely.

“What's your name?” he simply asks.

“Nino,” comes the puzzled reply.

“Okay, Nino. Sounds as if you researched your power on the internet. Correct?” Ohno keeps on interrogating, one eyebrow raised slightly.

Nino swallows, nods. He has no idea where Ohno is going with this but at least he seems to be prepared to reveal some information. Even if it's not exactly what Nino might want to hear.

“Well, you better forget it quickly. I've read this stuff too, and most of it is utter crap,” Ohno explains. Nino rolls his eyes.

“I know that. Please don't think I'm that stupid.”

Ohno raises both eyebrows, now looking more amused than interrogative.

“Well, you did feel up half of Shibuya's citizens.”

“That was—,” Nino wants to explain, but Ohno's laughter interrupts him. “Hey, stop that. This is very important to me.”

Ohno sobers up a little but there's still a glint of amusement in his eyes.

“Sorry,” he says. But his smile kind of renders it less believable. “It's important to me, too, otherwise I wouldn't have brought you here, you know. It's just your naivety is quite... amusing. How old are you?”

Nino suddenly doesn't like where this conversation is headed. Who does this guy think he is? He can't be more than a few years older than Nino.

“Seventeen,” he replies curtly, annoyed, crossing his arms in front of him.

“And what about your dad?” Ohno asks out of the blue.

Silence.

Nino just stares at him.

And Ohno seems to understand that he has just asked the wrong kind of question. 

“Okay, whatever. Let's leave it at that. There's nothing to gain. It was nice to meet you, Ohno, real nice. Have fun and such. I don't think Tokyo is for me, after all.” Nino all but stumbles over his words, but he's too furious to care. He grabs his burger which he still hasn't touched, gets up and is already halfway through the door when he feels a hand on his arm. Ohno is holding him back.

“Hey, sorry. Really. I didn't want—I shouldn't have asked.” This time Nino can see in his eyes that he means it.

“You shouldn’t. But that doesn't matter now. You don't take me seriously anyway, so this whole talk is pointless,” Nino murmurs in response, but his resolve is melting under Ohno's open, repenting gaze.

“I do take you seriously.” Suddenly Ohno's voice sounds way more sure. Nino can't help but turn around to face him, creasing his brow questioningly.

“You do? Then what's that all about? Asking how old I am? Your amused look every time I talk about this issue? Your arrogance is really annoying,” Nino blurts out. He waits for Ohno to get mad or simply grow tired of him and go away.

He kind of hopes for it.

The question about his father has rattled him, which he wasn't prepared for at all. He's not used to someone whom he has only known for some minutes asking about his family background.

Which brings him to—

“How do you know about my father anyway?”

Now it's Ohno's turn to look at him confused.

“I don't know anything about your father. At least nothing—let's go back to our table and I promise I'll tell you more. And I'll try to behave less arrogantly.”

*

Nino is munching on his burger while fixing Ohno with his eyes. As promised he does no longer carry such an aloof know-it-all look.

“So why did you ask about my father anyway?” Nino finally asks what he was dying to know since Ohno's question.

“Because of your power. This time shifter thing, the time-stopping. If you can do it then your father can too, at least in some way.”

Nino isn't even sure if he's supposed to be surprised. His father left him when he was still very young. He only vaguely remembers his time with him, doesn't want to, really.

But what if—

The time-stopping started when he was eight. If his father really was a time shifter himself, shouldn't he have noticed something? After all, Nino wasn't very careful back in those days. So why did he never say anything?

In the end was it—

Did he—

No, that couldn't have been the reason. His mother told him that they were always fighting. That it simply hadn't worked out in the end.

Lost in thoughts, Nino needs a few seconds to realize that Ohno has stopped talking and is looking at him concerned.

“Do you know what kind of time shifter your dad is?” he asks tentatively.

“No, no idea. Until now I didn't even know he was one at all. We... are not in touch anymore.”

“I see.”

Ohno seems sorry, but Nino waves his pity away. He hates that look and he hates being looked at like that. Whatever his father did is ancient history, over and no longer relevant.

His subconscious is plaguing him again, asking what he's doing in Tokyo then of all places.

Nino expertly ignores it.

“You haven't told me what kind of time shifter you are,” Nino says quickly, intent on a change of subject.

“Does it matter? I won't use this ability.” Ohno averts his gaze, which makes Nino all the more curious.

“Does that mean you can control it? After all, you touched me and nothing happened. You must be pretty good.”

Ohno grimaces and Nino has to hold back his laughter, because his nose is all scrunched up by it. “We should create some taboos. We won't talk about either your father or my power. Deal?” He grins stretching out his hand for Nino to shake.

Nino does so without hesitation.

*

“I don't know what to talk about anymore,” Nino complains after a while. They've been sitting in the Lotteria for over an hour, talking about inconsequential stuff even though a thousand questions are still burning on Nino's tongue. But he feels he's learned so much today, that it's quite enough for the moment. At one point his mind simply cannot grasp it all anymore and Nino is sure this will happen very soon. Plus, it just feels good (and Ohno seems to like it too) to talk about the funniest, most absurd topics they can think of.

They've just ended their discussion about the taste of cooked watermelon. Nino finds the very idea disgusting, Ohno would like to try it.

“I guess this means it's enough for today,” Ohno grins, then leans back in his chair. For a second he simply looks at Nino, who, not for the first time, wishes he knew what's going on in his head. Ohno's grin turns into a friendly smile before he continues:

“I'm glad you've found me, Nino.”

His words sound so honest, making Nino feel a little embarrassed. Ohno laughs at him.

*

Nino is staring at the newly saved telephone number next to the name Ohno Satoshi on his mobile phone. He's lying on the bed in his hotel room, asking himself how everything will turn out now. Whether he has reached his goal. Whether he should return home.

After all, he came to Tokyo to find a time shifter.

But somehow he imagined for everything to turn out completely different.

“I would love to know why he doesn't want to use his power anymore. And what exactly he can do,” he murmurs to himself.

Nino continues staring at the digits as if waiting for something to happen. Here and now. Everything beats sitting in this room alone, pondering what to do.

But he does not call Ohno. He doesn't write either. Nino passes the rest of the evening looking at the display and trying to hold onto his fleeting thoughts.

*

» Can you help me? «

Nino keeps tapping the send button but never hard enough to actually send the message. He doesn't know whether Ohno is the right person, whether he can even help him. Nino would have to explain a lot if Ohno agreed to help.

“Oh, damn it. Whatever,” he curses loudly and finally presses the send button. Shortly after he feels queasy and is miffed that there's no chance to recall the message.

Then he waits.

He's been waiting for so long that his phone vibrating makes him jump.

» I won't go around pawing half of Shibuya. «

A very embarrassing noise escapes Nino's lips, something between a grunt and a giggle, and for the first time he's glad he is by himself.

» Idiot. I'm serious. I need your help. I'm searching for a special kind of time shifter. «

This mail was typed and sent rather quickly. Maybe because Nino was annoyed by the wait.

But it takes a while for Ohno to answer again.

» What kind? «

Nino takes a deep breath.

» A jumper. Backwards. «

In his mind, Nino is already formulating his answer, for he is sure that Ohno will ask about his reasons. But it comes different than expected.

» Kid, these are even rarer than stoppers. Wouldn't it be enough to have someone who's able to rewind? Of those I got four in my family. «

He doesn't know how to answer that. Disgruntled, he throws his mobile to the side and stares at the ceiling. There's a dark stain in the corner which he frankly feels no desire to look at any longer. Fortunately, it doesn't take long for his phone to vibrate again.

» You won't tell me what you'll be needing a jumper for, right? «

He is right. But Nino knows that he doesn't have to tell Ohno that. The message was not so much a question.

» In the forums they said that those who can rewind time are limited to go only twenty-four hours back. That's not enough. I need to go further back, « he writes and realizes why it has taken him so long to ask Ohno. Why he didn't ask for it yesterday when they met up. It's easier to write about than say it out loud.

» That's correct. Only twenty-four hours, then they need another day to be able to rewind or fast forward again. «

Nino sighs loudly when Ohno confirms his findings. He feels alone, miserable and hopeless as it is, but this makes it even worse. If jumpers are really as rare as Ohno tells him, then how in the world is he supposed to ever find one? Not on the internet, he's sworn an oath to himself never to be that stupid. He won't write to anyone from the forums, never mind how trustworthy they might sound.

Then he thinks about his money, thinks of how little he's got left and that he will have to go back home soon, and he wants to smash something to pieces.

Instead, he picks up his phone again. Seeing how fiercely he's pressing the keys while writing it's a miracle they don't break.

» But I need one. I need a jumper, I have to get my life back together. I have to make things right again. I need to get back to Sho... «

Nino does not send the message. He turns off his phone and burrows into his heavy blanket. Outside the sun is already high in the sky, but he closes his eyes anyway and tries to sleep.

*

Later, in the evening, as he wakes up again he needs a moment to know where he is. The stain on the ceiling is still there and draws Nino's gaze every time he looks up.

Thoughts of his father want to come up; at first he struggles against them but after a while he gives in. He knows it's inevitable and that he can't hold them off forever.

He wonders what kind of shifter his father could be. Can he spool time as, according to Ohno, so many can do? Or is he of a rarer kind? A time stopper like himself? Or maybe even a jumper? He should probably seek out his father. He might perform a time jump for him.

Nino smiles sadly. As if his father would willingly jump back through time for him. If some of the comments in the time shifter forum are to be believed, it would mean that the jumper loses all his memories of the time he's bridged. He would have to relive the whole period of time he's jumped anew, with no way of knowing what might have happened already, what he had experienced once before and what kind of decisions he'd already made.

Nobody would willingly do that.

Nobody.

Nino understands that it's about time to give up.

*

When he turns his mobile phone back on, he finds five new unanswered calls from his mother. He is just about to delete them; but hesitates.

There's another call from someone else.

It’s from Ohno.

He quickly checks his inbox and also finds unread messages:

» But I can still help you if you want. Maybe we'll find someone. Tokyo is a big city after all. «

» Hey are you disappointed now? «

» Nino? «

» Tell me where you are and I'll swing by so we can talk about this, okay? «

Nino isn't sure what to make of it. He reads and rereads the four messages a couple of times and somehow they brighten his mood. It's nice to know that there's someone out there who wants to help him. Someone who might understand him.

As he doesn't know how to answer Ohno, he simply sends the address of the hotel and his room number and waits.

Surprisingly, it doesn't take very long until he hears a knock on the door. Nino briefly runs a hand through his hair in an effort to make himself look at least halfway presentable (even though that's next to impossible seeing as he spent the better part of the day under his stuffy blanket), then lets Ohno in. The other only blinks, looking him up and down.

“You look like crap,” Ohno says grinning crookedly, which doesn't really fit the worried look in his eyes. Nino pouts and sits down on the floor with him. There's not much space left in the tiny hotel room, but he hasn't exactly planned to ever have guests in here.  

“Why are you staying at a hotel?” Ohno asks curiously.

“I'm not from Tokyo,” Nino answers curtly. He's not yet prepared to reveal his entire story.

“Don't you have to go to school?”

“A lot has happened.”

Ohno simply nods, seeming to understand. Nino doesn't believe that's really the case. But it doesn't matter at the moment.

“So... a jumper,” Ohno starts on the relevant topic. Nino internally thanks him for not prying any further.

“How far back do you wanna jump?”

“Three weeks. At least.”

Ohno lets out a long sigh. “You know how much you ask of a jumper with this? Three weeks... don't take it personally, but no one will do that for you. Three weeks is quite a long time where a lot can happen. A lot that the jumper would forget.”

Nino thinks about all the things that have happened during these past three weeks; the nights spent together at the park, the cigarette on the roof, the stolen headphones, their big fight, Sho losing it. Sho saying he doesn't want to continue. Sho, who's afraid of Nino.

Not for the first time he wishes for nothing more than to be a jumper himself. How he would love to forget it all and start anew.

“You know, Nino, it would be better if you found another solution for your problem. This whole time shifter thing— better let it be. Most of the time it only makes matters worse.” With his bitter face Ohno seems to speak from experience. Nino is about to inquire further, but decides against it. Instead, he contemplates Ohno's words.

If he weren't able to stop time, if he hadn't this strange power, all of this would have never happened. He wouldn't have committed all these stupidities and Sho wouldn't be afraid of him. But what would have happened in this case? Most likely everything would've run its usual course over the years and he would've never talked to Sho, would've never truly gotten to know him. Most likely he would've messed up in some other way. Maybe he would've smoked on the school's roof anyway and gotten caught. Most likely his grades would've turned out worse.

From whatever angle he looks at it, Nino can't see anything bad in his ability.

But Ohno seems to see it, Ohno thinks entirely differently about it. Ohno, who knows so much more about this power, who probably grew up with it in a family full of time shifters.

Surely Ohno had never been alone, never crawled under his blanket – the only thing providing safety for him – and never had to wait until time started to flow again. Surely Ohno had never been alone through all this.

“There's no other solution,” Nino says aloud what his mind is playing out for him so splendidly. “I have to jump.”

“Nino–,” Ohno starts, but Nino interrupts him at once.

“There's no other way, I gotta go back. I have to go back these three weeks and for that I need a jumper. I have to find one quickly, 'cause I can't stay here much longer. And I can't wait any longer or else everything gets even worse.” His words sound more desperate than planned, but it's just exactly what he feels. He knows that Ohno cannot comprehend that, he knows that Ohno views this issue differently. Of course he views it differently, after all Ohno never had to experience all the difficulties Nino had to face because of his power. It was easy for Ohno.

“There's always another way, believe me. We'll find one, I promise,” Ohno says softly, reassuringly, but it sounds so fake all of a sudden.

“You have no idea!” Nino suddenly shouts at him, surprising even himself with the volume of his voice and instantly regrets it. Ohno looks at him surprised for a moment, eyes turning sad.

“Well, how could I if you don't tell me anything.” With these words he gets up, sends Nino a last, disappointed look and leaves the hotel room.

And as much as Nino has come to hate the feeling of being left alone, he's slowly starting to get used to it.

*

It doesn't even take ten minutes for Nino to become agitated. He can't stay in this tiny, stuffy hotel room where it's no use opening a window for air. He has to get outside, has to do something, anything. Headless, he storms out into the street, into the dark night. But Tokyo is never truly dark, there are lights everywhere, blinking and flickering. The streets are loud, the people are loud, and Nino has no idea where he's going. He just keeps on running.

He comes to a halt at a bridge. His fingers clutch the rail tightly as he's watching the busy street below. His breath comes in short gasps and his lungs are burning from running so much.

It can't go on like this, his subconscious is screaming at him.

“I know, damn it! I know,” he shouts back. His words get lost in the noise of the heavy traffic under the bridge. If anyone heard him, they ignore him.

He feels his mobile vibrating in his pocket and nearly drops it in his haste to get it out. His mind is pleading for Ohno, Ohno, Ohno as he takes a look at his inbox. All the greater his disappointment upon realizing that the message is not from him.

It's from his mother.

And Nino knows that it has to be important, because his mother usually never writes – she hasn't done that even during these last few days, after he ran away. She normally just calls since she's no friend of short messages and has never truly bothered with them. Nevertheless he hesitates to read it, even considers deleting it unread.

He finds himself wishing he had heeded his gut feeling when he finally opens and reads it.

» Kazu, the police was here. Where are you? Please call me. «

Shortly after, he gets another one.

» Please come back home. «

His stomach is starting to churn, turning worse by the minute. His breath quickens, he's just short of hyperventilating. He looks around again and again. He feels watched by every person passing him by. Fear grips him tightly, closing around his throat and threatening to cut off his breath entirely.

He doesn't want to suffocate.

The police came to see his mother. Because of the robbery. Of course because of the robbery. Though it wasn't even that much money, a crime is a crime.

He has committed a crime.

He ran away.

He left his mother behind. Just like his father did.

He is exactly like his father.

Nino takes a deep breath, leans over the rail and just wants to scream. He wants to shout it all out, all his fears, everything he regrets, everything he has done wrong.

But the scream dies on his tongue, snuffed out in his throat already. What comes out is a hoarse sob and then tears. He sinks to his knees, still clutching the cold metal of the rail, and cries.

He cries until he can’t cry anymore. After that he just sits there staring through the tiny holes of the rail down onto the street, watching the car lights race by below him and disappear into the distance. It's late and it's cold and he didn't put on a jacket.

But Nino has bigger concerns right now.

Earlier, when Ohno told him to find another solution for his problems, he had started planning for a moment – just a little, imagining going back home and apologizing to his mom. He would've told her about Sho and that he had been lovesick and had needed to get away for a few days. Nino knows he can be pretty convincing and he's sure his mother would’ve believed him.

Then he wanted to go see Sho, finally ring that damned doorbell to step up and talk to him. Just talk. About everything that happened between them, about his feelings and Sho's fears. To find a solution together and a way to be together regardless.

But that's no longer possible. It's been over since he read that message just now.

He can't go back home.

“I'm such an idiot,” he whispers to himself, “such a stupid, stupid idiot.” But this realization doesn't buy him anything anymore. It comes too late, just as his regret. You learn from your mistakes, his mother used to tell him. But she failed to warn him that sometimes it might be too late.

“Hey, little idiot,” he suddenly hears a soft voice next to him, so close it makes him jump. Turning around, he's looking at Ohno's friendly face.

Nino stops the time before the other has any chance to do anything. Since he's not touching Ohno he freezes, squatting in front of him with his round face and tired eyes. Eyes that are still looking at him with concern.

Nino needs this instant in which he can look at Ohno without anything happening. This moment to simply sit there and calm himself down while Ohno stays how he is, motionless.

“What are you doing here? Why are you here now? How come you're here now as if you knew I needed you? That I needed someone to tell me how to go on? How do you do it?” he asks excited, incredulous. Ohno keeps his friendly face.

Nino lets time flow again. Ohno's gaze changes instantly, he knits his brows and touches Nino's cheek with the back of his hand.

“You're awfully cold.”

Ohno won't just feel the coldness on his skin. Nino's cheeks are still wet from crying. But Ohno doesn't mention it.

“What are you doing here?” Nino asks again, ignoring Ohno's comment. This time he leaves all the other questions out.

Ohno's expression changes to an embarrassed smile. “I was worried. I wanted to come back and apologize but you weren't in your room anymore. And now I've found you here.”

“Hm,” Nino grunts, his gaze never leaving Ohno's face. Something about him is reassuring and Nino feels his presence does him good, helps him think clearly again.

“I've been thinking.” Ohno slowly takes his hand away from Nino's cheek, but puts it on his arm. Does he know that Nino stopped time and wants to make sure to keep skin contact so Nino can't escape?

Or maybe he just wants to comfort you, a by now well-known voice in his head suggests.

“I would like to take you with me. To my family,” Ohno reveals. Nino can hardly believe his ears.

“Why?” he blurts out, even though he has a host of other questions in mind.

“Because I don’t want you to be alone with your power anymore.”

*

Nino runs up the stairs and along the hallway to his hotel room. He's barely able to open the door with his hands trembling as they do. When he's finally in the room, he sits down on his bed staring at one point on the floor and inhaling the room three times before he stops shaking.

Ohno said he'd wait for him in the lobby.

Nino is overcome with all sorts of feelings, making him wish they'd just take a number and line up properly so he won't feel overwhelmed. But of course they all jumble together and wash over him simultaneously.

It's not that he doubts Ohno's offer. He trusts him like he hasn't trusted anyone in a long time (not even Sho, though he's loath to admit it). He just doesn't know what makes him worthy of Ohno's friendliness. Ohno, whom he found in the middle of the street, and whom he had done nothing for other than constantly asking for favors. Whom he disappointed just a few moments ago.

Nino can't understand why Ohno is doing this. But he knows it's his chance, maybe the only one he gets. At Ohno's he will not only have accommodation but probably learn more about time shifters. After all it seems as if his whole family is full of them. Might be, someone even knows a jumper.

So Nino quickly packs the few belongings he brought from home into his backpack. Even if he believes himself unworthy of Ohno's offer, he's not about to decline. And if only for the sake of company.

He's on the last two steps to the reception, where Ohno is waiting for him, when he catches the concierge's words.

“... just gone up to his room.”

Carefully he peeks around the corner and for a second his breath stops.

There are two policemen. One of them is talking to Ohno, the other shortly bows, turns away from the reception desk, and–

Freezes.

Nino runs over to Ohno and grasps his hand, reviving him. Ohno stares at him, surprised, then looks around him and seemingly gets it quite quickly.

“Did you pay with stolen money?” he asks perplexed. Nino presses his lips together and nods very shortly.

“I have to get away. Come on.” He tightens his grip on Ohno's hand, pulling him along. He's anticipated a struggle, but Ohno just follows him. But the second they've left the hotel, Ohno pulls at Nino's hand making him face him.

“Let time flow again,” he demands urgently.

“No, we have to get further away first. They'll catch up otherwise.”

“They'll be too confused that I'm gone all of a sudden. Let it flow again, come on.” Ohno's voice has an edge to it. Nino keeps on running, alternately looking ahead and back to Ohno.

“Why? It's safer if–”

“Nino, do it now!” Ohno suddenly shouts. Nino's eyes widen and he releases the time flow, only to come to a standstill himself and let go of Ohno.

“What...?” he starts with a trembling voice, but Ohno already grabs his hand again to pull him along this time.

“Well, come on now or they're gonna catch us after all,” he says between clenched teeth. Nino can only nod and comply, though he has no idea where they're headed. The plan was to go to Ohno's parents' house, but he doesn't know whether that is still an option.

Now that the police have found him in Tokyo.

Nino feels a cold shiver run down his spine when the realization sinks in.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he curses while still running alongside Ohno through the cold night. The other merely shakes his head.

He never lets go of his hand, though time has been flowing again for quite a while now.

*

They stop in front of a nice, small house in a narrow side street, both of them completely out of breath. Nino bends down, leaning on his thighs to catch his breath. From the corner of his eyes he sees Ohno mirroring the motion.

“Man, I'm really not as... fit as I thought,” Ohno says, grinning at him. But even though Nino has been running long and hard just now, he hasn't caught up with the events yet.

“Is this your...?” he starts to ask, but he's still too out of breath to finish the question.

Ohno nods. “Yep, that's where I live.”

“But your parents—the police—”

Ohno straightens, deeply inhaling and exhaling once. Nino would've liked to stop being so winded, but he keeps panting like he ran a marathon. Which, in a way, is true.

“They won't find you as quickly here as at the hotel,” Ohno says, but that isn't Nino's concern.

“How can you still let me come to your home even when you know that I... that I...” He can't finish the sentence. It's hard enough to admit to himself that he is a villain. To say it out loud would make it that much more real.

“That you did what? Rob a bank? Well, that's not exactly the nicest way, but I'm far from preaching just because you tried out your powers. Anyways, it couldn't have been that much money, 'cause in that case you would've chosen a better hotel.” At the last sentence Ohno even grins and Nino finds he understands him even less now. It has to show on his face, because Ohno takes a step towards him, smiling sympathetically.

“My aunt won the lottery a few years back because she had simply written down the numbers and winded back a couple of hours.”

Nino is still confused but he slowly begins to comprehend.

“And that's just one of many stories. That's why I surely won't judge you for using your ability for a little robbery at your seventeen years. I know some who did a lot worse. Just be careful they don't catch you. And stop paying with the stolen money for the time being.”

“Okay,” Nino simply answers because he can't manage to say any more. He really has no idea how he deserves this man. But at the same time he is infinitely thankful that it was Ohno who woke up first at the Shibuya crossing.

“I'm glad I've found you,” he blurts out, only then realizing that it's almost exactly what Ohno told him yesterday. But this time Ohno does not laugh at him, he smiles and puts a friendly arm around Nino's shoulders.

“Come on in, little idiot.”

*

When Ohno had spoken of his family, Nino pictured it differently. He expected father, mother, maybe three siblings, aunts and uncles living with them, cousins. He should've known that couldn't be the case when he came upon the small house, but he's surprised nonetheless.

Only Ohno's mother greets them.

“Mina won't be coming home tonight so you two are left alone,” she tells Ohno with a pleasantly soft voice. He merely gives a nod, kissing his mother on the cheek by way of greeting. Nino wonders if he might do that too, when he'll be Ohno's age.

“Are you hungry, Nino? Would you like me to cook anything for you?” she asks then, still softly, with eyes so incredibly loving that Nino feels all warm under her gaze. Ohno is also looking at him inquiringly and if Nino hadn't known they were related, he'd have realized it now. Ohno is the spitting image of his mother.

Nino's stomach answers for him before he can open his mouth. Ohno and his mother laugh the same laugh.

*

Later they are in Ohno's room on the second floor. It's tiny, there is barely enough space on the floor for Nino's futon. However, it would be a lie to say he's missing his lonely hotel room.

“My mother wanted to know if she should call yours. She could try and explain a little, you know,” Ohno says while preparing the bedding for him. Nino is sitting on Ohno's bed, watching him, and thinks about the number of missed calls. About the last message.

» Please come back home. «

He swallows, but the lump building in his throat doesn't go away. Ohno puts the blanket on the futon and sits down next to Nino. He feels warm fingers on his hand.

“Does she know where you are?”

Nino shakes his head, avoiding Ohno's gaze. It's easy, as Ohno's room is full of interesting stuff he can focus on. Some shelves with strange figurines especially catch his attention.

“In that case it's an even better idea. You don't want your mother to worry unnecessarily, do you?” Coming from Ohno it sounds so easy. Nino hasn't called his mom all this time because he has no clue how to explain himself. To let Ohno's mother talk to her sounds like an easy but cowardly way out, as if Nino isn't man enough to face his own mom.

Which actually is the case. He doesn't have the courage. That's why he ran away from home instead of asking for advice or help.

Maybe his father had similar reasons back then?

“Yes. She shouldn't worry anymore,” Nino quickly agrees, pushing all the thoughts about his father way back again.

He writes down his home number for Ohno, looking at his retreating back when he leaves the room. Surely it's a good idea for Ohno's mother to talk to his. After all she's from a family of time shifters and knows what it's like to have a son with such an ability. Or a father.

The thought leaves him pondering. Ohno hasn't mention his own father with one word.

He doesn't wait long when Ohno comes back.

“What about your father?”

And it's almost as if they're back at the Lotteria, only their roles reversed this time. Ohno is looking at him and Nino realizes he has asked the wrong kind of question. But Ohno did the same back then, so Nino can't feel guilty about it.

“Haven't we agreed on taboos?” Ohno tries a jest, but he fails pitifully. His strained tone of voice betrays his true feelings.

“Yes, we did, my father and your power,” Nino counters. He is aware he might be a little unfair, but he's sitting here, in Ohno's house, on Ohno's bed, has just made the acquaintance of his mother, and now feels that Ohno's dad is the last piece of the puzzle still missing to finally understand him a little better.

All he wants is to get to know him.

Ohno swallows, Nino can see his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously. But he does not take his eyes off him.

“My father isn't here anymore,” Ohno says with a subdued voice. “He died last year.”

*

Nino has his face buried in his cushion, taking in the nice, calming scent of it. The cushion almost smells like his at home does. That way it's easy, buried under the blanket, face pressed against the soft fabric; that way he doesn't have to say anything and discuss any topics they'd both rather avoid.

Had he known that Ohno's father is dead, he would've never asked. Or would he?

He listens to Ohno tossing and turning in his bed, the blanket rustling. Nino himself is lying rigidly on the futon, eyes tightly shut. Only when he hears deeper, regular breathing does he dare moving. He slowly turns on his back, then straightens up. A streetlight directly in front of Ohno's window prevents complete darkness. Some light still steals in through the closed curtains, facilitating Nino's way to the door.

He opens it very silently and equally silently closes it again. Standing in the hallway of the unknown house he wonders what exactly he's doing.

He had known from the beginning that sleep would not be an option tonight after all he has learned and that happened. Despite Ohno's words there is still a lurking restlessness as if he fears that any minute the police might come knocking and take him away.

There's light shining up and Nino creeps downstairs. He has no idea what time it is, only that it must be the middle of the night.

Arriving at the bottom of the stairs, he hears someone bustling around in the kitchen. It has to be Ohno's mom. At first he intends to go back up and give sleeping another try, but then he changes his mind. As soon as he enters the kitchen, Ohno's mother turns around, looking puzzled for a second, but quickly changing her expression to a welcoming smile.

“Nino-kun. Can't sleep?” she asks with all the care in her voice only a mother can display.

“I don't think so,” he answers shyly, staying at the doorway.

“Well, come in and sit down. We'll talk a little. Do you want some hot chocolate? To me that's the best sleeping potion there is.”

“Yes, thank you very much.”

A short moment later he's sitting at the kitchen table with Ohno's mother, stirring his cocoa in a dark blue mug dotted with yellow stars. At first he feared it might feel strange to sit here alone with her, but now he actually likes it.

And for the first time since running away, he's missing his own mom. But it does not hurt him, he is rather reminded of the fact that there is still someone out there missing him. Someone who loves him.

“I have just talked to your mother on the phone,” Ohno's mom says. The topic couldn't be more fitting.

“She really had no inkling of your power, right?”

Nino is staring at the yellow stars. “No, I don't think so. Perhaps she noticed that I'm different, but never in which way. But then again, I tried to hide it as best as I could.”

She hums understandingly, nodding briefly.

“Was that wrong? Did you know from the beginning? About Ohno... and his dad... that they're different?” he dares to ask even though he's not sure whether that borders on impolite.

“No, no, Nino-kun, it was not wrong at all. You're still quite young and had to face this on your own. You wouldn't have had any idea how to even get her to understand,” she says at once. “My husband told me about it shortly before our marriage. He wanted me to know what I was getting into.” She laughs briefly, and if Nino didn't know that the man she's talking about is dead, he would've never guessed.

“At first, of course, I didn't believe him. But then he stopped time right in front of my eyes and simply left the room. You can imagine how shocked I was when he wasn't standing there anymore.”

“So he could stop time just like me?” Nino asks, though the answer is obvious.

“Yes. Sometimes that was really trying. He used to bug me with it quite a lot. And it didn't get any better when Satoshi was born. Worse even, when we found out that he had inherited his power. The two of them hid away all the time to train.”

Nino is dying to know what kind of ability Ohno has, but he knows it would be unfair to ask his mother. Ohno must have had his reasons not to tell him. Nevertheless it isn’t easy to hold himself back. At the same time he feels jealousy rising. He would've liked to have a father with whom he could try out his gift. With whom he could train.

The look Ohno's mother gives him is full of pity, but on her it's bearable, almost soothing. Nino returns the look, trying a smile but mostly failing.

“Satoshi told me you have no contact with your father,” she says softly. “I know we can't replace your father, but I want you to know that you're always welcome here. And you can stay as long as you like.”

“Thank you,” Nino manages before his voice dies. The following sob catches him by surprise.

*

He's back lying on the futon in Ohno's room, snuggled into the nice-smelling blanket. He's all warm inside from the hot chocolate and so much more, and his eyes are hurting a bit. Ohno's mother has promised not to tell Ohno about their little heart to heart nor about his crying.

At night he dreams about Sho and his mom. They both forgive him.

When Ohno wakes him up the next morning with apologetic eyes, Nino feels completely drained. He does not recall for how long he stayed up yesterday.

“I have to get to work now, but I didn't want to leave just like that. You can stay in bed; I think mom's home the entire day today.” Nino has a few problems following Ohno's words and even more keeping his eyes open at all. But he believes to have grasped the basic meaning at least. He's already fast asleep again when Ohno leaves.

When he wakes up again, the sun is shining right into his face. The curtains are drawn back and the window is opened wide to invite a warm breeze into the room. Nino closes his eyes, relishing the peaceful moment.

Ohno's mother laughs good-humoredly upon seeing him enter the kitchen. “Did my extra special hot chocolate knock you out yesterday?” she teases, making Nino join her laughter.

“Completely.”

“That's great, now I know what to give you whenever you get out of hand.”

They sit down together at the table and it's almost like the other night, only Nino is feeling way better this time. This woman emanates such calm and tenderness that Nino can't help but feel good with her. Whatever it is Ohno definitely inherited from her.

After breakfast (“Actually, it's already time for lunch, darling,” Ohno-mom grins) he suddenly remembers his dream, making him wish to contact his mother. Ohno's mother encouragingly gives him the telephone, leaving him alone in the kitchen. Just before closing the door behind herself, she winks at him.

Nino stares at the phone for a good ten minutes before finally managing to dial his home number. He has no idea what to say, more than ever now that she knows. But he has to do it, wants to do it, because no matter how lovely Ohno's mother is, with her caring manner she has only intensified Nino's longing for his own mom. Actually, she is most likely aware of that. 

Nino takes a deep breath, pressing the green symbol. With every ring his heart picks up a beat.

“Mom?” he says as soon as the call is answered.

“Kazunari?” his mother's voice sounds concerned, surprised, relieved, all at once. He longs to stand opposite her, to see her and be able to analyze which emotion her voice really carries.

“Yes. I—I am—” Everything he so carefully planned to say and arranged word by word is gone, vanished. He's searching and searching in his mind for these words but all he finds is emptiness. There's nothing.

“I know,” his mother says lovingly.

“I'm so sorry.”

This time it takes a moment for his mother to answer. He hears her breathing in deeply.

“I know.”

Then there's silence. Nino is pressing the phone so hard against his ear he fears he might get marks on his cheeks. But it's the only way to hear his mother's quiet breathing.

“I miss you. But I can't—I can't come home yet. There's something I have to get done, first.”

The words are difficult to utter, especially since Nino doesn’t know whether it will work, whether he will succeed. And whether he will be able to go home if it doesn’t work.

“I miss you, too,” his mother simply replies. She sounds so sad it almost breaks Nino’s heart. But he pulls himself together, he has to. He owes it to her.

“You’ll have me back soon. Promise. I’ll be back.” Again he thinks about his father. He hopes he didn’t say the same to his mother when he left; hopes that his mother believes him.

“Is it true? What Ohno-san told me? That you—?“ she begins, but Nino doesn’t want her to say it, he doesn’t want to hear it from his mother.

“Yes,” he therefore says quickly, “but I never knew how to tell you.”

“It’s not easy to believe either. But I’ll try.”

“Thanks.”

“Ohno-san said she’ll look after you until you can come home. She seems to be a really loving person,” his mother says and Nino can almost hear her smile through the phone.

“Yes, I think she’s very nice.”

Now his mother is laughing, even if it is only a short laugh. One of the knots in his stomach loosens.

“Take care of yourself. And come back soon. I’ll be waiting here for you.“

Nino is about to hang up when a short ah from his mother holds him back.

“Someone called at the house for you a few times. A boy named Sakurai Sho. Maybe you should give him a call, too, it seemed to be quite important to him,” she adds quickly with an unsuspecting lightness to her voice.

And suddenly all the knots tighten again.

*

“Did it not go well?” Ohno’s mother asks as soon as he comes out of the kitchen.

“No… no, it went well.” Nino forces a smile on his lips. She probably sees through it, but if she does, she doesn’t say anything. Nino is more than grateful for this.

“So, do you like playing with the Wii?” she surprises him by asking. “Our family loves Wii Bowling. We’re downright experts by now. Well apart from Satoshi, maybe, but he just doesn’t get the hang of it.“

Moments later he finds himself in the middle of an exciting and above all very close bowling championship with her. And for the time being he forgets his worries. In the end he wins, but only by a whisker.

“We have to have a rematch sometime. I’m not conceding defeat so easily!” she grins, pretending to be out of breath.

Nino chuckles, “Anytime.”

He receives a cup of hot chocolate as his prize, by now it’s only called the extra special hot chocolate.

“Oh, Satoshi is off work soon. Do you want to pick him up? He works not far from here,” she interjects. Nino takes a big sip of the sweet beverage, this time from a yellow mug with blue stars.

“Sure. Where does he work?”

“Down the street at the Matsumoto Kiyoshi.”

It sounded like a temporary position. Which reminds Nino that he was looking for a job too, and is now living for free with Ohno. And that he can stay as long as he wants to. But he shouldn’t take advantage of the offer for too long or he fears to suffocate from his guilty conscience one night.

*

It’s already dark when Nino steps into the street and he is surprised how quickly the day went by. Sleeping in really messed with his head. But maybe it’s just because autumn is coming and it’s getting dark earlier every day.

Sho steals into his thoughts again as he walks to the MatsuKiyo. He came to his home. More than once. A feeling as if someone is stabbing him in the chest appears, gets worse the longer he thinks about it. And still he imagines it, imagines Sho standing at his door, doing what Nino never managed to do, ringing the bell, asking for him and hearing from his mother that he isn’t home. Every time.

He’s so lost in thought, his gaze trained on the ground, that he flinches when he hears the scream. He automatically looks up, in the direction the scream came from, but immediately regrets it. He is looking straight into the eyes of a man who’s glaring at him malevolently.

“Hey! What are you staring at, asshole?” the man snarls at him, his voice loud and harsh. Next to him there is another man, who has his hand shoved down a woman’s skirt; it is the woman Nino has heard scream. Nino quickly shakes his head, is about to keep walking while hoping desperately that the men will leave him alone – when his arm is grabbed.

“I asked you something, you idiot!” With these words Nino is jerked around, stumbling in the process and almost falling to the floor and taking the guy with him. The strong grip on his upper arm prevents this, though. He is pushed against the wall of the building brutally and harshly breathes in when his back collides with the rough stone. A sharp pain runs along his spine, stopping at his hips.

“Let go!” he shouts immediately, trying to fight against the grip, but not succeeding in getting free.

“That’s not how things work here, kid. If you gawp at our little game, you’ll have to pay. So cough up the dough!”

“I don’t think so!” Nino spits and stops time.

But he didn’t think about the man’s hand, which is still holding him tight. Nino reaches for the fingers closed tightly around his arm, trying to pry them open, away, but they don’t move even an inch. It’s as if he is fighting against a stone statue. He jiggles the hand, pulls at it, but nothing happens.

“Shit. Shit shit shit, come on!” he swears, gritting his teeth and trying to pull on the fingers with all his might.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the guy suddenly shouts and then Nino’s head jerks to the side. A biting pain blossoms on his jaw. The guy has punched him right in the face.

Nino opens his eyes wide as he realizes that time is flowing once more. He quickly stops it again, but the man’s grip stays strong around his arm. Then time starts again, without him doing anything.

“What?” he breathes, perplex, staring into the guy’s angry eyes.

“Your money, piss-ant!”

He doesn’t have money. He doesn’t have anything on him, it’s all lying up safely in Ohno’s room.

Another punch and Nino squeezes his eyes shut. His nose hurts so much he wants to scream, but he presses his lips together as tightly as he can, so he won’t. Something wet runs across his lips, down his chin and he knows that it has to be his blood.

He tries to stop time again, stops again and again, but nothing happens. Time keeps moving, the guy continues, hitting him again and again.

“Stop, please… please,” he then begs, because he doesn’t know what else to do, because he is in too much pain to defend himself in any way. He is afraid to open his eyes.

“Only if you hand over your fucking money!” the guy shouts, ramming his knee into his stomach. Nino wheezes and the hot chocolate almost comes back up.

“I don’t have any,” he chokes out, but of course the man doesn’t believe him.

“Don’t get cute, you bastard!”

Nino grows afraid, very afraid, tries again and again to stop time, but nothing happens. He can’t do it.

He can’t stop time anymore.

Panic like he has never felt before builds up within him, taking over and paralyzing his whole body. He always had a way out, always had this power within him, with which he felt superior to everyone else.

Now there is nothing left and he is helpless, completely at the mercy of these vicious men and there’s nothing he can do. Another punch, even more pain and this time he screams, but it doesn’t change anything, the man doesn’t stop.

Eventually he finds himself lying on the floor, but he doesn’t know when he fell, he only knows that the man is still there, that he hasn’t stopped. But the pain is slowly fading away, his head is growing lighter and he is about to lose consciousness when he hears Ohno.

“Let go of him, you damned asshole!” Ohno shouts and Nino tries to open his eyes, but his eyelids are swollen to such a size that he can only slightly open them. He can barely see Ohno, see how Ohno pushes the guy away from him and falls to his knees in front of him.

“Nino! Shit, Nino, say something.”

“I couldn’t—the time—I couldn’t anymore—,” he manages to say hoarsely and something changes in Ohno’s gaze, guilt creeps into his eyes.

Then everything goes black, but only for a second.

“—at the Matsumoto Kiyoshi,“ Ohno’s mother is saying.

Nino stares at her. The pain is gone, he can fully open his eyes again. There’s no throbbing in his jaw, no pain in his hips. He is standing in front of Ohno’s mother and has no idea what just happened.

“Are you feeling alright? You’re really pale. Maybe you should better stay here.“ Worriedly, Ohno’s mother puts her hand on his forehead.

“I—“ But Nino hesitates, because he slowly begins to understand. He understands.

“I have to go upstairs for a moment,” he tries to say as casually as possible. He has to consciously stop himself from running up the stairs. Upstairs in Ohno’s room he pulls the door shut behind him, locks it, locks himself in, remains standing in the middle of the room and breathes and breathes.

Then realization sets in.

Ohno is a jumper.

Ohno jumped back in time with him. He saved him from those guys that probably wouldn’t have stopped punching and kicking him.

Ohno is the one he has been looking for.

A myriad of things are now flooding Nino’s being and he once again wishes they would just take numbers.

Ohno is a jumper and knows that Nino is looking for one. But he doesn’t want to help him, or he would have said something before now. But despite all this, he just jumped for him.

The guys on the forums on the internet were right. He as a stopper, as a base, does not lose his memories of the events that were jumped over.

And—

He can’t stop time anymore.

He quickly looks around Ohno’s room, frantically looking for a clock. Above the bookcase there is one and he concentrates on the ticking hands of it. They stop for a second, then they tremble and continue ticking. It’s as if he was trying to start the engine of a car that just doesn’t want to turn over anymore.

“What’s going on? Why… why can’t I—?” he speaks out loud what there is within him and is hardly surprised by the desperation that colors his voice. For years now this power has accompanied him, given him quiet whenever he needed quiet, made things possible that made his life easier. It had always just been there, a constant presence, something he could rely on.

He has trusted this power unconditionally. More than any single person around him.

He doesn’t even want to imagine what it would mean for him if he wouldn’t get it back. He tries to calm down, tries telling himself that there is still something within him – there has to be – because Ohno was able to jump with him. Besides, such a strong power can’t just stop existing.

But the fear doesn’t leave him, it is still palpable in all of his limbs. Ohno’s mother is sure to wonder what he is doing up here for so long. Ohno will surely be on his way home already.

Suddenly Nino feels deathly cold.

If Ohno is on the way home, he will have to pass the guys.

What if this time around he will be in Nino’s place? What if that was exactly what Ohno achieved by jumping back in time?

Hurriedly he unlocks the door, runs down the stairs, past Ohno’s mother, who watches him in puzzlement, runs to the front door, but then stops. The door is already opening and a short moment later Ohno is standing in front of him, taking a step back because he nearly walked right into Nino.

“Hey, Nino,” he greets him, obviously surprised.

Nino opens his mouth and wants to say something, but then there is this urge, that is suddenly there and in order to express his relief that Ohno is alright, that nothing happened to him, he throws himself into his arms. Ohno is warm and smells like a mixture of deodorant, sweat and the detergent that Nino’s pillow smells like and for a second he feels weak in the knees because the smell is strangely familiar.

“Woah. Woah. We’ve only known each other for three days and you miss me this much?“ Ohno jokes, but puts his arms around him anyway. Nino hears Ohno’s mother giggling quietly in the background.

“Idiot,” Nino murmurs against Ohno’s coat.

“Sure that I’m the idiot?” Ohno teases, but doesn’t let go of him. Nino pushes further into his warm embrace.

“Yes.”

“Hmmm,” he hums in reply, squeezing Nino tighter for a moment and then letting him go. Nino looks at him; Ohno’s eyes look as tired as they did the day they first met.

“You lied to me,” slips out even though Nino hasn’t decided whether to ask Ohno about it at all. And especially not how to do it. Ohno only raises his eyebrows, utters a questioning sound, but his gaze turns more serious.

“You know a jumper. Because you are one yourself.”

Now Ohno’s eyebrows are scrunched up and Nino sees him look past him, most likely to his mother. Nino quickly shakes his head, making Ohno look back at him.

“She didn’t say anything,” he clarifies.

“How do you know then?” Ohno’s voice is pressed, his mouth pulled a tight line. He isn’t happy at all that Nino has found out.

“Because you jumped with me just now.”

The statement hangs suspended in the air, heavy and oppressive. Nino can hear Ohno’s mother breathe in deeply. Ohno only looks at him blandly.

The he laughs bitterly.

“Nice try. But I don’t jump anymore. And you won’t have changed that.“

“I was beaten up. Your mother suggested picking you up from work and when I walked down the streets there were these two guys assaulting a woman. They didn’t like that I saw them and attacked me.” Nino swallows. The memories are still vivid, the pain almost palpable. As is the fear.

“I couldn’t stop time. It didn’t work anymore. That’s why I couldn’t escape. If you hadn’t come and jumped with me, they might have beaten me to death.“

The shock in Ohno’s eyes makes his whole body shiver. All at once he feels Ohno’s hands on his skin once more, feels them caress his arms, his cheek. Then he sees that there is not only shock in Ohno’s eyes, but also anxiety. A great anxiety.

“I saw those guys, on the way home,” he breathes almost inaudibly and causes another full-body shiver in Nino. “They…?”

“No, they didn’t. You stopped them by jumping back far enough with me.”

Ohno swallows loudly, but Nino can see that he finally believes him. But something is strange. Nino just can’t say exactly what it is.

“Thank god.”

*

He had hoped that Ohno would maybe apologize or explain why he didn’t tell him that he could jump. Or why he doesn’t want to do it anymore. But Ohno doesn’t do anything of the sort. It’s almost as if he was trying to ignore it and hoping that Nino would just forget about it.

It’s pointless to say that Nino can’t forget.

Ohno only hugged him once more (which felt nice, Nino has to admit), but then the conversation seemed to be over for him. Nino didn’t know what to say when Ohno then turned away from him and said hello to his mother.

Even now, as they are sitting together around the table, picking at the Nabe pot together, he doesn’t know what to say. He can hardly eat, even though he hasn’t had anything since breakfast. He notices that Ohno and his mother are desperately trying to uphold a lighthearted conversation but who are they trying to fool? The tension is almost palpable in the air.

When he is back upstairs in Ohno’s room and his gaze falls onto Ohno’s clock, he realizes what is so strange about it all.

“You didn’t…even ask what was wrong with my power. When I told you, I couldn’t stop time anymore.”

Ohno stands still in the middle of the room and says nothing.

“Why?“ Nino asks insistently. Why, why, why, he keeps asking in his head, only to fight against the answer creeping in; only to drown it out.

“You knew, didn’t you?” When you found me, outside in the street, I told you I couldn’t stop time anymore. And you looked at me as if you felt guilty.” The words come out of nowhere. Maybe in defiance of his attempts to keep the thoughts at bay. Maybe that’s why they made their out right away.

Nino only now understands what he has said. And he can see in Ohno’s face that he’s right.

He also sees that Ohno is fighting with himself, can see it in the way he can’t seem to keep his eyes on one spot, how they rove around the room, looking at everything but him. How he bites his lower lip and swallows again and again, swallows and swallows.

“Why can’t I do it anymore?“ Nino tries asking as calmly as he can in that moment.

Ohno slumps down on the bed, puts his hands on his thighs and buries his fingers in the fabric of his pants.

“There’s another reason why I brought you here,“ he begins and Nino tenses automatically. “I wanted you to stop using your power.”

“Congratulations, it worked,“ Nino cuts in grimly. He notices that he’s growing angry, can feel the rage building up in his stomach, like a poison.

“Nino—“ Ohno tries to calm him down, but Nino interrupts him at once.

“Just tell me the truth,“ he demands loudly. It seems to work because Ohno nods, once, twice, and finally looks at him. It’s the same guilty look he gave him earlier while Nino was lying in the street, before Ohno jumped with him.

“We have a potion that can block your power for a while. So you can’t use it anymore. I asked my mother to give it to you without you noticing.“

Ohno could have just punched him in the face. It would have had the same effect.

“You did what? Why? That‘s—what’s it to you how often I use my power? Who do you think you are, deciding for me? Giving me such a potion—I—I can’t believe it!” Nino is beside himself, the rage is bubbling over, splashing through his whole body and infecting all his internal organs, everything is burning, it wants to get out. He can’t believe this.

“Damn it, I trusted you!“ he snaps at him, wants to tear his hair out, wants to do something, anything, with his hands so that he won’t punch Ohno. But he doesn’t do anything, he only balls his hands into fists hard enough to feel his fingernails biting into his flesh.

“I knew that it wouldn’t be enough just to tell you to stop using your power. That’s why… I had to use other means to get you to stop,” Ohno explains and he seems almost too calm to Nino.

“Then tell me why I shouldn’t use this power,“ Nino replies loudly, shouting almost.

But Ohno doesn’t say anything. He only looks at him, seemingly torn and Nino has enough.

“Oh forget it,” he presses out through clenched teeth and is already on the way to the door, when Ohno jumps to his feet, crosses the few meters separating them and wraps his arms around Nino. He presses himself against his back and a moment later Nino feels his warm breath on his shoulder.

“My father,“ Ohno whispers against Nino’s skin and Nino trembles. “He died because of it.“

*

They stand like this for a long while, with Nino’s arms hanging limply by his sides. He doesn’t know what to do with them. Or what to do with his thoughts. Ohno doesn’t say anything else, but after a while he snuffles his nose. Nino hopes he won’t start crying because he wouldn’t know what to do about it.

After a while he dares to open his mouth.

“You can die from it?“ he asks into the emptiness, careful and quiet. He feels Ohno nod against his shoulder.

“Did you think a huge power like that doesn’t leave its mark on the body?” he mumbles into Nino’s shoulder. Although they have been standing here for a few minutes already, Ohno makes no move to let go of him. Nino doesn’t dare to move first, so he keeps staring at the door he’s standing in front of. He’s slowly beginning to feel warm, especially in the spot of skin on his neck Ohno’s breath has been caressing all this time, but he tries to ignore it.

“You’ll die sooner,“ Ohno then says, while Nino stays silent. “For every hour you stop the time, a month is taken off your life, they say.”

Nino remembers his childhood, the hours, days, he stopped unable to do anything about it and grows afraid. How many months have been taken off his life expectancy? How many years has he already lost?

“Why didn’t he stop then? Your father. If he knew?“ Nino has to ask, he just has to talk about Ohno’s father in order not to have to keep thinking about himself.

“He didn’t expect it to happen so soon. He was… like you. Fascinated by this power. Curious to see what he could do with it. Especially when he then found out that I inherited it,” Ohno tells him, his voice trembling. “Moreover, he used it for his job every day. And at some point he had just gotten too used to it.”

Alarmed, Nino realizes how much of himself he can see in these words. Has he not gotten used to this power long ago? Seen it as a inherent part of himself? Had he not panicked when he noticed that he couldn’t stop time anymore?

“And how did he die?“ Nino can hardly hear his own words, his voice is so quiet. Or is it the blood thrumming in his ears?

“His heart just stopped beating.“

Then a long moment passes in which Nino fights. He should receive a medal for the battles he fights against his head, against his subconscious.

But you only get a medal if you win, his subconscious laughs at him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away,“ Ohno surprises him with his apology. “It’s just… not easy for me to talk about. Sometimes I can’t believe that he’s gone.”

Nino knows what it’s like to suddenly not have a father anymore, from one day to the next. That makes it easier to understand Ohno, even though it’s still incredibly difficult.

“And when you stopped time, when it was suddenly completely silent all around me, it felt as if he was back. As if he had never left.“

Ohno’s words are grave, his voice so sad that another knot forms in Nino’s body, but this time it is in his chest, close to his heart.

When Ohno makes even the smallest move to loosen his hold, he turns around immediately and finally gives Ohno a real hug. And then they stand there for another long moment, arm in arm, but this time it isn’t strange, this time it feels exactly right. Nino has only known Ohno for a few days, but he feels closer to him than he does to some of the people he has known all his life.

But this embrace isn’t enough; he owes Ohno something else, too:

“My father left us. He abandoned us, my mother and me. He said he was going to Tokyo and maybe that’s why I’m here now. I don’t know.” The words leave his lips with less difficulty than he expected.

“I thought this topic was a taboo,” Ohno mumbles, lifting his face a little. His eyes are red, but he doesn’t look as if he has been crying.

“Your power was, too. But since I know about it now, I thought it was only fair that you should know about my forbidden topic.” Nino manages a smile. A little smile, only a short twitch of the corners of his mouth, but it is enough to make Ohno smile as well.

“Little idiot.“

*

Afterwards things are more comfortable. There is no tension left in the air, quite the contrary: Nino feels as if something is connecting them, now that they were more open with each other. As if an invisible bond has formed between them because of it.

And then, when they are heading to bed, Ohno pats the bed next to himself invitingly. Had the invitation not come from Ohno, Nino is sure he himself would have asked.

They are just lying next to each other, their shoulders touching, and it feels great. Their talk has created such a level of intimacy that Nino asks himself how he could have ever doubted Ohno. Of course not everything Ohno has done was right, but he did it for Nino, for his well-being, because he was worried about him. And how could he not trust someone like that?

“How long does the potion work anyway?“ Nino asks after a few moments. He doesn’t even know if Ohno is still awake.

“Only a few hours. I think she put it in your hot chocolate this afternoon, so it should stop working by tomorrow.”

So it was the extra special hot chocolate, Nino thinks bitterly.

“And what is it exactly? Where do you get it?”

“It’s a recipe that has been passed down from one generation to the next in my family. It’s mostly meant for young stoppers who haven’t gained control yet. But I think it also works on us shifters.”

Suddenly Nino is sitting up straight.

“Really? It works on a jumper like you?” he asks immediately, suddenly curious as hell.

“… yes, I think so,“ Ohno answers hesitantly.

“So it also works on fast forwarders, right?”

“Yes, I believe it does.”

Nino doesn’t know what to say. If it’s really true, if this potion can really stop fast forwarders and jumpers from using their powers, it would be the solution to all his problems.

It could take Sho’s fear away.

Nino turns to Ohno, who by now has also sat up, with a brilliant smile on his lips.

“This potion is amazing,” he says happily; a joy in his voice that he hasn’t heard for a long time. It’s refreshing to finally feel something like hope again after all the depressing emotions that have accompanied him the last few days.

Ohno still looks a little confused, but he returns his smile.

“A solution to your problem?” he asks softly.

Nino leans back into the pillow and grins at the ceiling.

“Oh yes.“

*

The next morning Nino wakes up with Ohno’s arm around his waist. His back is leaning against Ohno’s chest. He is surprised that it’s not uncomfortable at all, as if they simply belong together, like this, two human-shaped puzzle pieces, fitting together down to the smallest details.

But he still catches himself thinking about Sho, asking himself, whether they would fit together just as well, if they were lying in bed together. Or whether they would jar somehow, with pointy limbs, annoying elbows.

He doesn’t know what it feels like to lie so close to Sho. Because he never had the chance to try.

But maybe he will have the chance soon, he tells himself, again thinking about the potion mixed into his hot chocolate. For a moment he lifts his head, looks at Ohno’s clock, only to be sure.

He stops time and it works, without any problems. Nevertheless he starts it again almost at once, hearing Ohno’s voice in his head:

For every hour you stop the time, a month is taken off your life.

But when he thinks about how often he has stopped the time in his life, when he adds the estimated amount of time, he can’t have lost more than two, three years.

Did Ohno’s father think the same thing?

“Hmmm,” Ohno suddenly mumbles and Nino feels him cuddle closer still. “You awake already?”

Ohno’s voice sounds sleepy and so incredibly cute.

Nino only notices what he’s doing when it’s already too late and he is already running his fingers through Ohno’s hair. But Ohno only hums contentedly.

“Already? It’s almost eleven,“ Nino laughs and wonders why he sounds embarrassed. Then he remembers: “Shouldn’t you be at MatsuKiyo already?”

“Have the day off.“

“Ah.”

Ohno’s arm is still wrapped around his waist, even though Nino has long since turned around. After a while Ohno’s breathing deepens, grows even, and Nino amusedly decides that he must have fallen asleep again.

But that’s alright, because it is comfortable and Nino simply closes his eyes again and relaxes.

A short while later he, too, falls back asleep.

Two hours later Ohno’s mum throws open the curtains and Nino startles awake at almost the same time as Ohno.

“Woah, mum,“ Ohno complains immediately and gives his mother a dark look. At least Nino thinks that he is trying for one, but Ohno’s tired eyes and the tussled hair make it pretty ineffective.

“I guess I can finally put the futon away. There wasn’t really enough space for it in your room anyway,“ Ohno’s mum casually comments while opening the window and Nino can’t suppress the giggle forming automatically in his throat.

“Yes. And you can let us sleep, too. Thanks.” With these words Ohno throws himself back onto the bed and pointedly pulls the covers over his head. Nino and Ohno’s mother start laughing at the same time.

*

It’s the first quiet day in what seems like forever. Exactly what Nino needs, because the last few days have cost him a lot of strength and endurance. Not necessarily physically (not counting that he was beat up, or nearly, or not really), but more so emotionally. Meeting Ohno has certainly been the best thing that could have happened to him, but their acquaintance has not been without its heights and lows. That’s why he relishes this day, relishes having a long and leisurely breakfast with Ohno’s family, meeting Ohno’s sister Mina in the process, and then going grocery shopping together. Ohno’s mother jokes around a lot, infecting everyone else with her good mood until they have to control themselves not to draw too much attention in the middle of the supermarket.

When they’re back home, Nino is challenged to a Wii Bowling rematch.

This time he loses.

But although he would have normally been really angry about this, since he is a really bad loser, this time he isn’t. Ohno’s mother looks simply too proud of herself and Ohno is positively beaming.

In the evening his mother calls. He answers the call at once.

“I went to the police and corroborated your alibi. After all, you really were with me the whole time. I can’t know what you do when you stop time,” she tells him; and this time the knot doesn’t only loosen, it disappears completely.

“You’re at your grandparents in Sunagawa, by the way, because you aren‘t feeling well and you needed to get away for a few days. It’s a good thing your principal likes me so much, he agreed to let you miss school right away. Just in case someone asks.”

Afterwards he talks for a long time with his mother while sitting on the sofa, his legs pulled close to his body, his shoulder leaning against Ohno’s.

He knows that it’s about time to go back home. But he isn’t ready yet, not quite.

He gives himself one more night at Ohno’s, with Ohno. One more night and then he will leave.

*

Nino is lying in Ohno’s bed again, the futon has long been put away. And this time he doesn’t wait for the next morning, he rolls closer to Ohno immediately, puts his arm around his body and his head on his shoulder. Ohno moves a little, adapts to Nino’s position so both of them are lying comfortably and a moment later Nino feels an arm around him.

Ohno’s nearness relaxes him; a feeling of safety floods his being.

“I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but I’d like nothing more than to just keep you here,” Ohno says.

The words hang in the air, above them, between them, and Nino really doesn’t want to think about them, about the decision he just made.

Or about the what ifs.

Because there is no alternative. He is seventeen years old, he has to go to school, he has to go back home. There his mother is waiting, his classmates.

Sho is waiting.

Now that he has found a solution, one that doesn’t involve jumping back in time, he feels obligated to go home, to put his and Sho’s lives to rights again.

Besides, he has promised his mother. He promised her she’d have him back soon. And he won’t disappoint her, not like his father did.

But why does he hesitate to answer Ohno?

“You know,” he begins, staring fixedly at the colorful designs on the blankets, “that’s not possible.”

Ohno’s only answer is an unintelligible sound. Nino can’t tell whether it’s Ohno agreeing with him or whether he hasn’t liked his words. He expects the latter.

“But I’d like to visit,” he adds, but he doesn’t know if that’s meant to cheer up Ohno or himself. “Tokyo isn’t that far away. I can be here in three hours.”

Ohno tightens the arm he has wrapped around Nino and for a moment it’s uncomfortable, almost too tight. But Nino doesn’t fight it because he doesn’t really mind.

“You’re always welcome here,“ Ohno mumbles quietly and Nino feels his breath in his hair.

But does that even fit into his plans, he asks himself. He’s going back to make up with Sho, to give them a second chance. To be able to kiss him again.

To be with him again.

And when he tries to imagine turning up at Ohno’s with Sho, he realizes that it won’t work. He can’t take Sho with him to Ohno. What would Sho think if he saw how familiar his interactions with Ohno are? He could, of course, keep his distance from Ohno, but he is afraid that Ohno would be disappointed if he did. What’s more, the words distance and Ohno just don’t go together.

Nino doesn’t even want to think about what Sho would think of him if he could see him right now. Cuddled against Ohno, so close together, their arms around each other—

No, he doesn’t want to think about it.

*

He wakes up the next morning because something is touching his arm. But Nino is too tired to open his eyes, so he just lays there for a moment, slowly gliding towards wakefulness, away from his dreams, and enjoying the soft touches. When he opens his eyes he sees that it’s Ohno’s fingers just barely caressing his arm. Ohno has raised himself up slightly, his head pillowed on his hand, and is looking at him.

Nino barely catches Ohno’s sad smile before it disappears. He decides not to say anything. The fingers touching his arm vanish.

“Morning,“ Nino mumbles sleepily.

“Mh,” Ohno only hums in reply.

It doesn’t get better. Nino would almost say that the atmosphere between them is uncomfortable, but there is still too much familiarity there, something that feels consistently good. Too good for anything to really ruin the atmosphere.

But Nino catches Ohno again and again with a sad look on his face and he can guess that it is because of him. But he has made his decision. He told himself, only one more night and he’ll stick to it. He’ll leave today.

Ohno can probably see the determination in his eyes.

Still it is not easy for him to say so. He has to really pull himself together when he is done with his breakfast and has put his chopsticks aside. He has to positively force himself to open his mouth.

“I wanted to say thank you again. For everything,” he smiles, even though he has to force the corners of his mouth to stay pointing upwards. “Really, I wouldn’t have known what to do if you hadn’t taken me in.”

Ohno’s mother shakes her head. “Don’t mention it, it’s only normal we did. It feels as if you’re part of the family now anyway.”

Ohno doesn’t say anything. He isn’t looking at him.

“Thanks,” Nino says honestly. Then, “I will go back home today. I need to put some things to rights there.”

He looks to Ohno hopefully, desperately wishing he would say something, or at least look at him. But Ohno keeps silently staring at his empty plate. Ohno’s mother sees it as well and maybe that’s why the smile she gives Nino is even brighter than before.

“We understand, don’t we Satoshi?“ She gently elbows him in the side.

“Yea, sure,“ Ohno says shortly, but he finally looks at Nino. He looks at him and gifts him with a grin that could not be more fake if he tried.

“When does your train leave, Nino? I’ll pack something to eat for you. And you’ll want the recipe for the potion, won’t you?” Ohno’s mother asks.

“Oh yes, please. I think I’ll take one of the trains leaving this afternoon.” Nino has a few difficulties in answering. Ohno’s grin is putting him off.

“Great, then the two of you have some time left. Satoshi, don’t you at least want to show him the little park not far from here? The one you like to go to so much?” It doesn’t sound like a question. More like neither Ohno nor Nino have a choice in the matter.

“Go on, off you go. A little sun will do you good, Nino, you’re too pale.“

It isn’t the first time Nino asks himself whether Ohno’s mother knows something he himself hasn’t noticed yet.

*

The park is beautiful, especially under the clear blue sky that graces them this day. The fall air is already slightly cold, but there’s nothing stopping them from running around without their jackets.

Ohno’s silence isn’t quite as nice. Nino doesn’t know how to act around him.

They walk side by side for a while, their shoulders accidentally brushing against each other from time to time. Every time it happens, Ohno takes a step away from him, but only a short time later Nino feels him by his side again.

A steady stream of people come towards them. The park is full of people and Nino is strangely glad for it. He doesn’t want to be alone with Ohno at the moment. It would only make the silence between them even more awkward.  

“I can try to come back next Sunday,” he finally brings himself to say. He hopes it will help, that it will cheer Ohno up.

“Would be nice,“ Ohno answers.

“Can you tell me what’s going on?” Nino stops, Ohno does the same. The question comes out of the blue and has to be uttered just as quickly.

“Hm?“ Ohno only hums questioningly, but Nino can see in his face that he knows what he is talking about. Still he answers:

“You’ve been different ever since this morning. I had hoped we could have a nice time before I leave.“

Ohno is looking past Nino and Nino doesn’t know what he finds there, but it seems that it’s more interesting than their conversation.

“New topic that is off limits?” he tries in a lighter tone, hoping to make things easier on Ohno. “I thought we were past that.”

“We are, we are,“ Ohno hastily replies and finally looks up at Nino’s face. “It’s just… you haven’t mentioned why you wanted to jump. Or what it is you have to put to rights.”

Oh. So that’s what this was about.

“Jumping is no longer necessary. Thanks to the potion,” Nino only answers at first.

“I thought so.”

“I fell in love with a fast forwarder.” It is the first time Nino says it out loud, the first time he admits his feelings this clearly and honestly. “And he likes me, too. But since he’s a fast forwarder, he is afraid he will steal too much time from us when we’re together. He can’t control it.”

“I see,“ is all Ohno says to this. Nino doesn’t know what kind of a reaction he expected, but Ohno’s face is expressionless, almost empty. He has never seen him like this.

It makes Nino sad.

“But it’s not just that, is it? You don’t want me to leave, am I right?” he then tries, his voice quiet and his eyes careful. Ohno is looking at him in surprise, as if he hadn’t expected Nino to know.

Although it was painfully obvious.

For a moment he looks thoughtful, only contemplating Nino. Then he smiles sadly.

“Of course I don’t want you to leave.”

“But I’ll come back.” Nino doesn’t understand. Sure, he would like to spend some more time with Ohno, he enjoys his company and likes being near him very much. But it’s not as if that is all over as soon as he returns home. He can come back anytime, with or without Sho.

“Yes, you’re coming back,“ Ohno then nods, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself. “You will come back, won’t you? So there’s no need to be sad.“

Nino only nods and reaches for Ohno’s hands. His fingers are cold.

“No need to be sad,” he repeats in confirmation and grins at Ohno.

Ohno looks down at their hands for a second, then back up into Nino’s eyes. His gaze has changed, his eyes are once again shining with emotion. But Nino pretends that he can’t see the mixture of hope and sadness beneath it.

“Go on, then, take your fast forwarder’s fear away.“

*

Ohno’s mother has written the recipe down for him. Nino was expecting something out of the ordinary, was imagining himself sitting in the kitchen for hours, experimenting with the potion, almost like a magician. But it is simple. He only needs a special kind of mint, whose leaves are first boiled in water and then left out to dry for a day. The almost flavorless leaves then only need to be cut up really fine and drunk with a hot beverage. If he remembers right, he tasted a hint of mint in his hot chocolate. But he had expected it to be part of the extra specialness. Which it was, in the end, just not in the way he imagined to be.

“It really isn’t difficult.”

“No, it isn’t. I also wrote down a few shops which carry the mint.”

Then she pushes a small satchel into his hands. “Here, there’s enough in here for the next while. We don’t really need it anymore around here.”

Nino thanks her a few times, not only for the mint or the recipe, but for everything. Ohno’s mother has done so much for him and her open, loving manner has made him take to her very quickly. Another reason this will definitely not be the last time he has come to Tokyo.

As expected, saying goodbye is hard. Ohno is still having problems looking at him for more than a moment at a time and his smile is still fake. But Nino knows that he can’t change that right now. He just hopes that Ohno will be back to his usual self next time he comes to visit. When he understands that Nino was telling the truth about coming back.

Ohno’s mother hugs him long and hard. “See you soon,“ she whispers in his ear and Nino can only nod enthusiastically. Then he turns to Ohno.

At first they are simply standing face to face, neither of them saying a word. Ohno is biting his lower lip and Nino waits.

“Farewell. And take care of yourself,“ Ohno says.

“I will,” Nino replies.

“Don’t go around touching lots of strangers again.”

Nino giggles, taking a step closer to Ohno.

“See you soon,” he whispers as quietly as Ohno’s mother did just moments ago. He is about to open his arms when Ohno squeezes him tight.

“Take really good care of yourself, alright? Don’t stop time so much. No more experiments. Stop doing illegal things and go to school regularly. And call me every now and then,” Ohno bubbles over and Nino hides his face in Ohno’s shoulder.

“And come back, no matter what happens, come back. Or call me and I’ll come to you. And contact me, at least once a day, alright? At least. If you forget, I’ll be on the next train to you, you can count on that.” Ohno doesn’t seem to have any intention of stopping and Nino can only nod and press himself closer against him to show that he understands.

*

Three hours later he is back home.

He remembers all the feelings vying for his attention when he made his way to the train station. Now he is on his way back and feeling so much better. He had great hopes for his trip to Tokyo, but hadn’t expected things to take such a turn. His goal had, after all, been to find a jumper and to jump back in time with him, back to the moment he first came into contact with Sho.

The jumper he found.

Arriving at his front door, Nino takes a deep breath. The long talk he had with his mother the night before took away his anxiety over seeing her again. But it still isn’t easy.

He doesn’t know why he rings the bell and doesn’t simply unlock the door, but he does and waits. You want your mother to let you back into her life, his subconscious answers the question. Maybe it’s even right.

Then she is standing in front of him and everything he wanted to say is gone. He throws himself into her arms and her familiar scent makes him realize how much he has missed her. How homesick he has been, deep down under a thick layer of ignorance.

It doesn’t take long for the tears to come.

*

“Just so we’re clear. You’re never to do something like this again, understood?” his mother complains jokingly when they’re sitting next to each other on the sofa, but Nino knows that she is serious. Nevertheless he pretends to have to think about it first.

This earns him a slap to the back of his head.

“Alright, alright, I understand,” he laughs and it feels good to laugh, even though his eyes are still smarting a little.

“Splendid,“ she grins and ruffles his hair. Nino grimaces and pouts, but she just laughs at him.

They joke around for quite a while, until Nino finally gets up the courage to ask about Sho.

“He hasn’t come back since we spoke on the phone the last time,” his mother tells him. She looks at him questioningly, but Nino isn’t ready for this conversation. Even though he had no problem telling her about Ohno.

“I should probably go to him.“ Nino is already sitting up, but his mother holds onto him.

“I don’t think I can let you leave quite yet,“ she says imploringly and pulls him back onto the sofa. Nino can only laugh once more.

“Alright. But learn how to let me go quickly. I’m seventeen, after all, not a little boy,“ Nino grins playfully.

His mother gives him a stern look.

“Yes, you proved that the last few days.”

Then her lower lip starts to twitch and she can’t hold back her laughter any longer. Nino only shakes his head. Grinning.

*

He is standing in front of Sho’s door, looking at the Sakurai engraved on the name plate. He can remember clearly how often he stood here only to chicken out.

Today he won’t.

Nino lifts his hand, reaches out with his finger and rings the bell.

A short moment later he hears the intercom engage.

“Yes?“ an unfamiliar voice comes from the loudspeaker.

“Erm… is Sho-kun home?“

For a moment there is silence and Nino tenses. This time he deliberately decided not to think of what to say beforehand because he knows it won’t do any good. As soon as he meets Sho, all the words will be gone.

“Who is asking?” the voice demands.

“Nino. We go to school together.“

Then he hears only the quiet static of the loudspeaker.

“Sho is visiting a friend over the weekend. But I can tell him to call you. Alright?”

“Ah…” Nino isn’t sure how to respond. Does he want Sho to know that he was there? What would Sho do? Would he call him? Or has he already given up on him?

The last thought hurts and Nino quickly pushes it far away.

“No, it’s alright. I’ll see him at school on Monday,“ he replies quickly and without waiting for an answer, turns to go.

*

His mother can tell immediately that things didn’t go the way he hoped they would when he comes home.

She makes a quick decision and takes him to the arcade in town.

That night Nino sits in his room, on his bed, and enjoys the familiar surroundings. Everything is in its place, just like he left it, and he can almost believe he never left. If there weren’t the constant memories of Ohno’s room and Ohno’s bed and Ohno’s warmth bubbling up within him.

»I think my mum would like nothing more than to chain me to the house. She hardly lets me go anywhere on my own. It’s my own fault though, right?,« he sends to Ohno, putting his phone to the side afterwards. He would have liked to write something like I miss you or my bed is too cold without you, but the thought of sending something like this to Ohno is already embarrassing enough. And Ohno would probably think he was crazy.

»I would have liked to do that, too,« comes the reply not even a minute later.

Nino doesn’t know how to react to that. So he doesn’t write back at all.

The next day is a Sunday and he has to force himself into keeping busy. His thoughts drift to Sho, to the conversation they haven’t had yet, but which is taking place in his head over and over again. Every time it ends differently.

He is about to send Sho a message, to call him, he has already deleted twenty messages before sending them. He doesn’t want to do it like this, it’s an insanely important conversation, one he doesn’t want to have on the phone or via mail. He has to be able to look at Sho.

So there’s nothing else for him to do but wait. Wait for the next day, for school; and to hope that he will find a quiet moment to talk to Sho. If necessary by using his power, even though he leaves that for emergencies only.

»Have you talked to your fast forwarder yet? Everything alright again between you?« Ohno writes and his timing couldn’t have been worse. For a moment Nino wants to throw his phone against the wall, he’s suddenly that desperate. Then he wants to tell Ohno to shut up, but stops himself in time, a heartbeat before he presses send. If there’s one person who’s completely blameless in this, it’s Ohno.

Instead Nino reaches for his pillow and throws it against the wall. But it doesn’t do anything to calm him.

He doesn’t sleep well that night, keeps waking up, looking at the clock and hoping for morning to come. He doesn’t want to wait any longer, he can’t wait any longer. Ohno distracted him, took his mind off things, but now that he is back here, in his usual environment, he can’t stop thinking about Sho.

And wishing to finally be with him again.

It’s half past five when he gives up on falling asleep again.

*

He is way too early; the school gates aren’t even open yet. Sighing he sits down on a bench and waits for the time to pass. Moments like this are the only times a fast forwarder has an advantage. Nino has to admit that he has never really thought about the other time shifter powers before. He has only ever thought about his own, a power that is always useful and very versatile. Alright, in the last few days he has thought a lot about Ohno’s power, jumping back in time. But even this power is only meaningful for himself as stopper, not for the jumper, who forgets everything he has experienced.

Essentially, Nino is the only one who profits from the shifting.

And still he kept pushing Sho to practice, to gain control of this power. Even though it must often have been uncomfortable for Sho, even though there were times he must have wanted to stop and only continued for Nino’s sake.

Nino knows that he took advantage of that.

He also knows that it made him stronger. He noticed when he robbed the bank. Usually he could stop time for only a certain amount of time (of course he doesn’t know how long, because no clock works when he stops time), but normally for long enough. But after he came in contact with Sho, after they had practiced together so much and he shared his power with him, he noticed that the intervals he could stop grew longer and longer. He trusts his guts in this and his years of experience. Besides, he remembers reading something to this effect in a time shifter forum once and has to admit at the same time that not everything in the forums is rubbish. A lot has been proven correct by now.

“Nino?” a voice suddenly asks, surprised, very close and Nino looks up.

Sho is standing in front of him.

He is really standing there, maybe two meters from him, looking at him as if he doesn’t quite believe what he’s seeing. Whom he is seeing. Nino can’t blame him, even for him this is happening too suddenly.

“Sho,“ he therefore only answers, looking at him and suddenly not feeling ready for the conversation he was desperate to have only moments ago.

“You’re back.“

“Looks like it.“

Then they just look at each other. Sho is still looking surprised, but the disappointment, the anger, Nino has always imagined in his eyes doesn’t exist. Instead there is something else. Sho looks as if he would rather be somewhere else, as if he would rather just go to school, have classes and not talk to him.

But Nino has to talk.

“Can you—do you have a moment?” Nino asks hesitantly.

“Uh…“ Sho hesitates, looking at his watch, then to the school gates which are just opening. “Will we be back in time for class?”

Nino wants to ask him whether this is really important now. Whether they don’t have a lot to talk about and whether it is not much more urgent that they talk about what happened and, besides, he has the potion now and they can be together again, and—

Nino takes a deep breath, tries to calm himself. At least Sho tried, came to his house so often, wanting to talk. Maybe Nino is simply too late.

“I’ll be quick?“ he offers.

“Alright, then. I think.“

Nino gets up off the bench and takes a step towards Sho. What he doesn’t expect is for Sho to take a step back.

Nino immediately looks at him in surprise and gets an apologetic look in return.

“Sorry, it’s just—I don’t want—please don’t touch me, okay?” Sho haltingly says and Nino’s heart misses a beat.

“Understood,“ he says bitterly, now evading Sho‘s gaze. They walk a few steps, with enough space between them, until they reach an empty side street. Here Nino has the quiet he needs in order to talk to Sho, even though he is a little uncertain. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t this reaction. He has wanted Sho to get loud, perhaps to shout at him, asking him where he was, why he left. Or for him to fall into his arms, telling him how much he’s missed him and how glad he is to finally have Nino back.

He didn’t want a Sho that was keeping his distance from him. Who’d rather be somewhere else than with him.

Suddenly he had to think of Ohno, how he hadn’t wanted him to leave.

“Where were you? I went to your house a few times, but your mother didn’t tell me where you were,” Sho asks him and this time he at least sounds interested.

“She didn’t know. I ran away to Tokyo,“ Nino answered.

“Tokyo? What did you want there?“

“I was looking for other time shifters.”

Sho’s gaze darkens slightly. “So it’s true.”

Now it is Nino’s turn to look surprised.

“What do you mean?”

“I was watching the news, you know. I saw the robbery at the bank. And I did some research. You used me in order to grow stronger, didn’t you? And when things were over between us, you went to Tokyo to find someone new to make you stronger still,” it bursts out of Sho and Nino sees him ball his hands into fists. This is the anger he has been expecting, this he can deal with.

He hopes.

“No, wait. It’s true, I did rob the bank, but it was the worst thing I’ve ever done, I know that now,” Nino says immediately and looks at Sho hopefully. “But I wasn’t looking for a shifter in order to get stronger. I was looking for one in order to put everything I have done to rights again. The robbery. The stealing. But most of all… this thing with you.”

“How did you want to do that?“ Sho doesn’t sound convinced, far from it, but at least he isn’t looking quite as angry anymore and he is giving Nino the chance to explain himself. Nino is very thankful for it.

“I wanted to find someone who can jump back in time. To have the opportunity to meet you again. To do everything better this time.“

“But it looks as if that didn’t work out,” Sho remarks bitingly.

Nino is silent. There is so much still within him, so much he wants to say to Sho, so much he wants to tell him, but he doesn’t know whether this is the right time. Or whether he should leave Sho in peace for now.

Sho seems to notice and looks apologetic.

“Sorry, Nino, it’s just—you were suddenly gone and I found out all these things and now you’re back and—what do you want me to say?”

“I only wanted to tell you that I found something that allows us to be together. Something with which you don’t need to be afraid to touch me anymore,” Nino finally says.

“What? You—what?“

“I have a potion that can block our powers. So that we can’t use them anymore. Not even accidentally.”

“And it works?” Sho is surprised, Nino can hear it in his voice. He certainly wasn’t expecting this.

“Yes, I tried it myself.” Even if it wasn’t voluntarily, but Sho doesn’t have to know that.

“Wow, that‘s—“ Sho begins, then stops again. Nino can understand, he himself is having trouble finding the right words.

“Do you know what this means for us, Sho? We can— without having to be afraid…“ He takes a step towards Sho, then another, unable to suppress a smile, while hope blooms in every fiber of his being.

But Sho suddenly throws up his hand defensively and Nino stops at once.

“Sorry… Nino,“ he says hesitantly. “It’s just, while you were gone… things changed.”

“I was only gone for a week,” Nino protests.

Sho looks at him, eyes full of guilt. “Sometimes things change fast.”

*

Nino doesn’t know how to get through the school day after this conversation. He has no clue which topics were dealt with in his classes or which other things his teachers talked about. He only knows that he can’t stop thinking about Sho’s words.

Sho promised him they’d talk at length after school.

Nino just doesn’t know if that’s what he wants.

Nevertheless he is now standing here, at their agreed upon meeting point, watching as Sho walks toward him and stops, once again leaving a distance of two meters between them. The smile on his lips is crooked, just like Nino feels in that moment.

Sho suggests going to Lotteria for something to eat, but Nino says no immediately and takes him to Mosburger just across the street. He only orders a drink, he is, after all, here to talk, not to eat. What’s more, he doesn’t believe he’ll be able to get anything down right now.

“So tell me about what’s changed,“ he starts at once, trying to leave his voice as expressionless as possible. He doesn’t want Sho to know how crazy all of this is making him.

Sho draws on his straw and Nino can’t take his eyes off his full lips. He’d really like to reach for Sho’s hand right now, to pull him outside, to walk to his or Sho’s house, hand in hand, fingers intertwined, and then—

“I met someone,“ Sho says and the world collapses around Nino.

“I disappear for a few days and you throw yourself at the next person you can find? I wouldn’t have thought that of you.” Nino spits the words, trying to hide that he just wants to run away.

Sho met someone. Someone else. Someone came into Sho’s life, who is important to him and, it seems, more important than Nino.

“How was I supposed to know when you’d be back? Or if you were coming back at all?“ Sho snaps and it’s unfair that he can get loud when it should be Nino, who has the right to be mad. But Nino can’t feel anything other than the sadness that puts heavy chains around his heart. But it’s not only his heart, he notices, it’s also his throat, because he can’t get another word out.

Unfortunately Sho uses his silence to further explain what happened.

“While you were gone, I thought a lot. About you, about us. And then, then I met him and—it was different, you know? I didn’t need to worry about some power lying dormant within me. It feels good with him. Normal. As it should be,” Sho explains, his voice at first subdued but then happier and happier.

With every word he breaks Nino’s heart a little more.

“But we can be normal now, too,” he manages and his voice sounds wrong to his own ears.

Sho shakes his head.

“Even if the potion works, things will never be normal between us, Nino. I know how you are and everything you’ve done with this power. You won’t stop using your power forever, not because of me. Believe me, you won’t.”

“How can you know that? That means you aren’t even giving me— giving us a chance?” Nino tries and sounds more desperate than he wants to show Sho. Sho’s rueful look tightens the chains in his chest.

“I’m sorry, Nino. But I prefer the safety I’ll have with him to you.“

Nino doesn’t understand how Sho can just say this, not after everything they’ve been through, after all these moments in the park, after the kiss. How can Sho choose someone else, here and now?

How can he just throw those harsh words at his head?

“Why?“ he whispers, unable to speak louder.

Sho takes a deep breath and he finally looks as if this talk isn’t easy for him either.

“I can’t trust you anymore. Not after everything that’s happened.“

After everything that’s happened.

That’s happened.

Nino only realizes that he’s gotten up only when he is already on his feet. The drink in his hand is crushed and the rest of his drink is running down the back of his hand.

“Alright,“ he says with finality. „Alright.“

Then he stops time and runs out of the restaurant. He runs long enough that he has enough of a head start before he allows time to flow again. Even though he doesn’t believe that Sho will go after him at all.

Sho wants to have a normal life.

Nino can’t give him that.

Maybe things would be different if he hadn’t run away. After all, Sho had come to his home in order to talk. Maybe they would have found a solution.

But Nino wasn’t there, Nino was in Tokyo, with Ohno.

And he has come back too late. He was just too late.

Nino narrows his eyes to slits as he realizes this. It hurts too much, this realization. Everything could have gone differently, if he had only returned earlier. Maybe even if he had only stayed with Ohno for one day less. If he had only enjoyed his company for one day less.

It just hurts too much.

Nino is despondent and angry and he doesn’t know what to do with all this anger he feels towards himself. Or with all the other emotions. That’s why he simply runs, runs until he is home. His mother immediately sees that something is wrong when he steps into the living room, out of breath and with a heavy heart.

“Kazu?“ she asks worriedly. Nino shakes his head until he is dizzy.

“He…,“ he starts but he can’t get anything else out.

His mother hugs him, but this time not even that helps. It doesn’t take the pain away.

There is only one thing that can help him now.

“I have to go to Tokyo again. I have to—please let me go one more time,” he begs his mother and there has to be something in his gaze, because she nods, very lightly.

“Alright. But you have to come back in time for school.“ Then she gets up, fetches her wallet and gives him enough money for the train ride.

Shortly after he is on the train to Tokyo.

But even the three-hour train ride isn’t enough to make him calm. The whole day plays in his head again and again, he can remember almost every single word Sho has spoken.

He asks himself how all of this could have happened. When his life has gotten so out of hand.

When you stopped time for the first time when you were eight, he answers his own question. Then everything within him convulses. Suddenly he doesn’t see anything amazing in his power anymore, now it is just a burden, something he wishes he had never had. If only he were a completely normal boy, then everything would be alright, then he could offer Sho the normality he wants, then he could be with Sho instead of that other guy.

Nino twists his fingers into the fabric of his pants. Everything’s so unfair.

So incredibly unfair.

He never wanted this power. He never asked for it. Who decided that he should get it? Who gave him this burden?

Nino bites his lower lip when he feels his eyes getting suspiciously wet. He doesn’t want to cry, not here, not now, never again.

He only wants a normal life.

A life with Sho.

Seeing him, talking to him, has showed him once again how strongly he feels drawn to him. That he wants to stay with him.

That he has to get him back.

That’s why he gets on the next train to Shibuya as soon as he arrives in Shinagawa. During the train ride he calls Ohno.

“Nino?“ the familiar voice answers immediately and Nino knows that he would usually be smiling now, at the sound of Ohno’s voice. But he can’t bring himself to do it.

“Are you still at work?” Nino asks at once.

“I just got off. Just have to change clothes. Why? Do you want to talk?”

“I need to see you.”

For a moment there is silence.

“Oh. Alright. I mean, sure. We can meet on the weekend.” Ohno sounds surprised but happy.

“No, I need to see you right now. I’ll be in Shibuya in a couple minutes.” While he says this, his train enters the station and he pushes through the crowd to get outside. “I’ll meet you at the MatsuKiyo.”

“You are—what? Nino did something happen?“ All at once Ohno sounds worried. It makes Nino’s heart feel a little lighter.

“Yes. I… I’ll see you soon.” With these words he hangs up. Fortunately the Matsumoto Kiyoshi isn’t far from the station and when he turns into the street, he sees Ohno running towards him. Before he can say anything, Ohno’s arms are around him.

“Don’t make me worry like this, you idiot,” Ohno complains, but his voice is devoid of reproach.

“Sorry,“ Nino mumbles and presses his face into Ohno’s coat.

“What happened?“

“Sho—he—“ But even with Ohno he has a hard time getting the words out. “He can’t trust me anymore. He has someone else now. He—oh god, he has someone else.”

“Oh no…“ Ohno’s voice sounds genuinely sympathetic and Nino can feel his hand in his hair. “I’m sorry. And it was so important to you that things were working out again, too.”

Nino swallows the sadness trying to rise within him. Even though he knows he’s no better off with it crowding his stomach.

“If only I had left earlier—if only I had gotten back before he met this guy… if only I hadn’t been so stupid,” Nino says into the fabric of Ohno’s coat. He doesn’t know whether Ohno can understand his words or not.

“Nino.“

“If only I hadn’t done so many stupid things. If only I hadn’t smoked that stupid cigarette. Or robbed the damned bank—“

“Nino, hey…”

“None of this would have happened! Sho would still—I could—with him—“

“Nino, stop. Don’t think like that. Please don’t keep thinking like that,” Ohno suddenly begs him and Nino stops.

But his thoughts have already reached that conclusion.

“Please, Ohno,” he says quietly. And then he looks up, looks directly into Ohno’s eyes.

“Please jump with me.”

He hears Ohno breathe in deeply and Nino prepares himself for the no, why should Ohno say yes anyway.

But isn’t that the reason he is in Tokyo now?

“Nino, I…”

“—Please! I need him, Ohno. I need him so much. I can’t go on without him. Please, I want him back. Please give me this chance.” By now Nino is begging and he knows that it isn’t fair, he knows it even before the bitterness creeps into Ohno’s eyes.

But he can’t stop.

“Please, Ohno. I’m begging you, jump with me.”

Nino keeps staring at him, beseechingly and so helplessly. His hands are holding onto Ohno’s arms tightly, as if they were the only thing keeping him upright. He’s so close to him that he can feel Ohno’s breath on his face.

“I’ll forget you, Nino,” Ohno whispers desperately. Nino knows that, he knows that Ohno and Ohno’s mother and the great time he spent with them will be taken back. But Sho is worth it to him. Sho means everything to him. Much more than anything he would be giving up.

“I need to get him back, Ohno. I love him so much,” Nino says and sees something change within Ohno.

“How far…,“ he begins and Nino’s eyes widen. „How far back do I have to go?”

Ohno’s voice sounds glum, the words heavy.

“Four weeks,” Nino says tensely.

“I won’t be able to get the exact day,” Ohno explains expressionlessly.

“That doesn’t matter. Just go back as far as possible.“ Within Nino, determination grows. And hope. He can’t believe that Ohno is really going to do it.

“Alright.”

The words, the acceptance, take all the bad emotions away and Nino can’t help but smile at Ohno.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.“

Somewhere in the back of his mind he registers the beaten-down look in Ohno’s eyes, but he is too excited, too relieved to think about it.

“Then… take care, Nino,“ Ohno manages. Nino can hear how hard the words are for him. But he only thinks about Sho, about his chance to put everything to rights.

“I will look for you. And then I’ll tell you about everything that’s happened,” he smiles and is sure it will work that he will have Ohno in his life again after the jump.

“I won’t believe you,” Ohno replies bitterly.

“We’ll see.”

Nino looks at Ohno’s face one last time, commits it to memory, the slightly too-long nose, the curved eyebrows, the thin lips.

Then he closes his eyes.

But something happens that he isn’t expecting. He feels Ohno’s lips on his own.

Ohno is kissing him.

Nino forgets to breathe while his heart suddenly starts racing.

He wants to open his eyes, wants to look at Ohno again, has to see him once more, but—

When he opens them, he is on the school roof.

“Are you nuts? What if anybody sees us? We'll be in deep trouble!” Sho snaps at him.

Nino looks at the cigarette in his fingers. Then he takes a deep breath.

“You’re right,” he says and puts the cigarette out against the banister.

Sho first looks relieved, but then thoughtful. “Was that the only reason you brought me here?”

Nino doesn’t hesitate long before he answers, “No. I just wanted to spend some time with you.”

After the break, when they’re on their way back to class, he takes out his cell phone and types in Ohno’s e-mail address. While he writes the message, he tries to ignore the pull in his chest.

» Thank you, Ohno. I’ll do everything to make sure this chance wasn’t in vain. Your idiot. «

The end.