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“Ughhh… Can’t believe that we have to be out this late at night…” Suzi whined.
Joseph sighed from beside her, nodding in agreement. “It’s a part of the job description, but it still sucks ass.”
“Why can’t the criminals just do things during the day?!”
“Because everyone’s a lot more sleepier at night. Which, incidentally, also includes the criminals, so that makes our jobs a little easier.”
Slipping out of his apartment window in their suits, Joseph led them up to the rooftop. They’d be able to travel and see things better from up there.
“But we don’t know their sleep schedules, do we?” Suzi hummed. “Do you think they sleep all day at Trinity Vault? Maybe they’re nocturnal?”
“Man, who the hell knows with these crazy guys,” Joseph grumbled. He walked over to a barrel of ashes in the corner of the rooftop and grabbed a handful, then tossed it down onto the roof. He reached his hand out towards it, and purple vines emerged from his arm to start rearranging the dust.
Those vines were his power, something he’d had ever since he was a child. Even if he hadn’t had them since he was born, they had developed naturally - which is a lot more than what he could say about a lot of superpowered individuals in this world. But he kept that to himself; some of those who were given powers were his girlfriend and boyfriend, through no fault of their own.
Said girlfriend, Suzi, came closer as the vines arranged the dust into a map of the city. The vines were good grappling weapons, but their powers of cartography and divination were their most useful asset. Joseph could use them for anything from predicting his enemy’s next thoughts to locating threats in the city, as he was doing now. Simply smashing a camera wouldn’t give him an exact location, unfortunately.
Pulled by the power of the vines, a rock drifted over the map until it stopped on a specific part - a location marker for the next case of trouble brewing.
“That’s the Lower East Side,” Joseph deduced. “Let’s head out.”
Joseph went and wrapped his arms around Suzi, holding her tight as she bent her knees and got ready to sprint. “Hold on tight!” she chirped.
And just like that, Suzi took off like a rocket. At least her power of speed made her immune to Joseph’s weight whenever he hung onto her to get someplace. From Hell’s Kitchen to the Lower East End, there was a blur of purple and red. During the trip, Joseph heard a communicator in his belt start going off. The police detected the emergency as well. Joseph hoped they’d have any useful information this time.
Suzi eventually stopped on top of an old brick apartment building, letting Joseph stagger off and grab the communicator from his belt. “We’re at the Lower East Side already,” he reported, trying to get his head to stop spinning. “Just send your units to make sure-”
“JoJo, look!” Suzi shouted, pointing to the edge of their vision.
From these apartments, they had a good view of the East River. The water was rushing onto the land, taking along schools of fish. It wasn’t enough to drown anyone, but it was certainly enough to knock someone off their feet. The salt water from the tidal strait was starting to cover the roads and vehicles, making Joseph predict that insurance companies would have a field day in the next couple weeks.
He let out a sigh, knowing exactly who caused it. “Dammit, Zeppeli…”
Suzi took the communicator from him and listened to the police on the other side. After a few moments, she turned to Joseph. “They’re still trying to identify who broke out from the Vault this time, but there’s apparently a lot of static electricity in the air-”
Before she could finish her sentence, a bolt of lightning shot up from the roof of a distant building into the sky.
“It’s probably Dire Straits,” Joseph guessed. “That’s not good. If Dire Straits and Father Zeppeli have teamed up-”
“Water and electricity combined isn’t good at all,” Suzi agreed.
“Especially not ocean water. Shit…!”
She quickly reported the suspected villains into the communicator and gave it back to Joseph, who hooked it back onto his belt. He grabbed onto Suzi again and let her take off towards the distant building, its rooftop still shooting bolts of electricity into the sky.
As they passed the streets below, Joseph could see the innocent civilians panicking and trying to stand on top of objects to avoid the water. Others were coming out with nets and buckets to catch the seafood, unaware or uncaring of the electrical danger. But most were trying to get indoors to avoid the attack.
These were the kind of people who got saved by superheroes in the comics Joseph read as a kid. He always knew that he’d maybe end up like those heroes who saved people, but he’d only seen the biggest highs and lows that such a person could endure. From fighting off aliens to losing loved ones, Joseph at least knew that - he wasn’t prepared for the soul-crushing exhaustion of leading a double life.
It was hectic, as most things in his family history were. He needed to find a job and keep his apartment bills paid (thankfully, his wealthy grandfather was willing to maintain the funds for his grandchildren as long as they kept up their heroic work), and he needed to fight evil, sometimes travelling around the world to do so. And then, there was the issue of playing detective to solve conspiracies with his allies. Now those weren’t fun, not with what it had cost him…
Joseph and Suzi arrived on the rooftop of a museum, low enough to the ground that the rooftop wasn’t completely dark. The pair of villains took notice of them, stopping their long-distance conversation taking place across the rooftop.
Father Zeppeli was a young man with blonde hair and strange marks on his cheeks. He wore a black cassock with a short shoulder cape and a necklace with a golden crucifix. A pool of water swirled around at his feet, continuously localized to him as he looked at everyone with a disinterested expression. Joseph had made too many Noah jokes about his power to count, but he knew that even something like water could be turned deadly, especially combined with the power of the other man across the rooftop.
Sneering at the duo, Dire Straits adjusted his tunic-like jacket as his scarf billowed in the wind. His outfit of light grey and black didn’t look out of place in a crowd, save for the scarf in the middle of summer. Said scarf was proof of the brothership he’d betrayed long ago for the favour of a greater threat than himself. As it stood now, Joseph had no idea how old this guy was or how exactly they were related, but what he knew for certain was that Dire Straits was the true threat here.
“So, you’ve come. JoJo and SuSu,” Dire Straits remarked. “Really, I’m not surprised.”
“No one is,” Father Zeppeli dryly quipped from the side, but was ignored by the other villain.
“Well, yeah. Can’t exactly ignore the big neon sign of ‘lightning coming from the ground’,” Joseph replied. “Or, uh, the plumbing issue down there.”
“At least it saves me time trying to hunt you down. And when I finish you off, this city will be mine!” Dire Straits declared, his voice slowly rising in volume. “And soon after, the world will tremble before my power! I will surpass all, just as Dio did!”
“Do you guys all have the same spiel?” Suzi fake-whispered to Father Zeppeli, jabbing her thumb at Dire Straits.
Father Zeppeli shrugged in reply, closing his eyes. “Hmph. Whatever domination plan he has, it has nothing to do with me. As long as he leaves me the captured members of government.”
“Can’t let that happen either, asshole!” Joseph got ready to fight, summoning his vines around his arm. “SuSu! You get Zeppeli! I’ll take Straizo!”
“Right!” she shouted, and shot like a rocket at the priest, who retaliated with sharp spikes of water.
As their fight began, Joseph lunged towards Dire Straits. He quickly dodged to the side as lightning shot out of the other man’s fingertips, leaving the empty space filled with static.
Joseph reached out and let the vines extend from his arm, whipping at Dire Straits. The villain quickly jumped to the side, and the vines hit the rooftop instead. He tried again to shoot his lightning at Joseph, missing and hitting a barrel in the back, which practically exploded on contact.
Joseph swore as he dodged the flying metal shards, accidentally wrenching his shoulder from the suddenness of the movement. Dire Straits smiled widely, confident with the sight of Joseph injured, and tried yet again to electrocute him. He didn’t expect Joseph to not only jump back out of the way but to return fire with his vines, throwing some of the barrel shards that had landed on the ground.
The small shards impaled Dire Straits, tearing a growl from his throat. “Why, you-!”
As he charged up more lightning, he only realized too late that the metal impaled in his body was starting to buzz as it conducted the built-up electricity. Dire Straits let out a howl as he was electrocuted with his own lightning, and he fell to the ground, stunned but still awake.
Joseph was quick to get to the villain’s side, carefully pulling out the shards from his chest with his vines. Then, he rolled Dire Straits over onto his front and reached into his own belt, pulling out zip-ties. As he secured Dire Straits’s hands behind his back, he cursed the fact that he and Suzi couldn’t keep handcuffs on their person. Then again, handcuffs would be pretty bad at restraining someone like Dire Straits anyway.
Around them, the air slowly began to lose its static-charged feel. Joseph let out a sigh of relief; he wouldn’t have to worry about the locals being electrocuted now. With one problem dealt with, he turned towards the other battle on the rooftop.
Suzi looked a little waterlogged, but she had managed to wear Father Zeppeli down little by little from exhaustion. Joseph decided now was an appropriate time to step in, lashing his vines at the priest.
Caught off-guard by the vines wrapping around his arm, Father Zeppeli only had time to brace himself before Joseph pulled at the vines, making him lose his balance and fall to the ground. Suzi seized the opportunity to rush at him, but was pushed back by a strong blast of water.
Joseph yanked on the vines again, still wrapped around the priest’s arm, and the blast was redirected away from Suzi. Water began to rush at Joseph in a sharp stream, but the vines wrapped themselves around Father Zeppeli’s arms, pulling them behind his back, and Joseph pushed him downwards. The water immediately stopped, as the priest wasn’t keen to be hit with his own attack like Dire Straits had been.
“How about you call off the floodwaters, preacher?” Joseph cast a nervous glance at Dire Straits, who was starting to stir again. He turned back to the priest as he forced his cocky smile on again. “It looks like Straizo’s plan has already been liquidated.”
Father Zeppeli let out an irritated huff, but a loud crash from below signalled another wave crashing from the East River. Suzi ran to the edge of the building and watched as the tidal strait seemed to pull back the floodwaters, reclaiming what liquid it lost. She nodded to Joseph, who took out more zip-ties and handed them to her as she returned. As Suzi restrained Father Zeppeli, Joseph went back to Dire Straits.
“Alright, prick. On your feet,” he ordered, grabbing the other man by his shoulders and hauling him upwards.
Dire Straits grunted as he was forced to find his footing, but all he could muster was a glare at Joseph. His electricity was powerful, Joseph could attest to that, so he knew how draining it was to endure being shocked by it.
With one hand tightly holding the arm of the other man, Joseph took out his communicator again. “Situation’s been handled,” he nonchalantly reported. “We’re at the Tenement Museum. Come pick ‘em up.”
He looked over at Suzi as he put his communicator back, seeing that she had Father Zeppeli restrained and upright. Joseph motioned with his head to the rooftop door, and she began to pull him along. It was a much safer bet to take the indoor stairs of the museum than to use the metal staircase on the side of the building, as fast as that would be. Dire Straits might have been worn-out, but Joseph wouldn’t underestimate him to use the metal’s conductivity to escape somehow.
Father Zeppeli looked at the antique bedrooms as they passed by, then turned to Dire Straits. “Tell me, were you here when this building was first contracted?” he cheekily asked.
Dire Straits glared at the other villain. “Shut up. This is your fault.”
“Says the one who lost in a one-on-one fight.”
“And yet, you collapsed like a house of cards when they had you pinned down.”
“Don’t speak of cards when you don’t know when to fold them,” Father Zeppeli huffed. “It couldn’t be helped. I’m certain these two like tying me up a little too much.”
“Wha- I didn’t need to know that! Shut up!” Dire Straits exclaimed.
“Yeah, I’m with Straizo on this one,” Joseph interrupted, trying to ignore how his cheeks were heating up.
Suzi let out a small hum. “Are you saying we’ll need to gag him too?”
“You can shut up too!”
By the time they had reached the lobby, they could hear sirens and the screeching of tires outside the door. Joseph pushed it open and pulled Dire Straits after him, walking over to the police.
Commissioner Lisa Lisa - his mother, Elizabeth Joestar - stepped out of her car, impeccably dressed in her business suit. She could’ve been a model, and had pushed for Joseph to try modelling once, but the life of a superhero prevented him from doing little more than retail jobs (which he had a habit of constantly getting fired from, to her disappointment).
She opened the door to the accompanying prison truck, always on speed dial for situations like these. “Quite a haul you’ve brought tonight, JoJo, SuSu,” she cooly remarked, keeping up her act of not knowing them as well as she did.
“Uh-huh. Make sure this one gets some tetanus shots in him,” Joseph reported, handing over Dire Straits to her. When she raised an eyebrow in query, he summarized, “Incident with some barrel shards.”
She nodded and brought him into the prison truck, quickly swapping his zip-tie restraints for reinforced plastic hand-coverings. Surprisingly, he didn’t try to fight it. Joseph didn’t know what kind of relationship Straizo had with Lisa Lisa (or where on the family tree he was supposed to be), but he never once tried to hurt her. He was pretty damn sure Straizo knew his true identity, but it was perhaps because the outcome would hurt Lisa Lisa that the villain never took advantage of it.
After handing him off to another pair of officers, she took Father Zeppeli and replaced his zip-ties with cuffs before placing him into the truck herself. Compared to her handling of Straizo, she was much gentler with him.
With the police starting to take care of everything, Joseph took some steps back. Their work here was done, and it was pretty unlikely that anyone else was going to try shit tonight. Crime was everywhere in New York, but it was only his job to take down those who normal law enforcement couldn’t handle themselves.
He put an arm around Suzi and smiled; looking down at her, he received the same smile.
“JoJo! SuSu!”
The pair of superheroes turned to look at the new voice, a teenager running up to them. Joseph recognized Smokey very quickly, a journalist and a friend of his. Smokey didn’t recognize him though, not in his hero getup. It was better that way; journalists got into enough danger as is without being a known friend of a hero.
“Sorry to bother you when you’re about to leave, but could I get a quick interview?” Smokey asked, as polite and diligent as ever. No wonder his newspaper trusted him to get to the scene first.
“Sure, I can spare a minute or two!” Joseph cheerfully replied. Truthfully, he just wanted to go to bed, maybe get some ice on his shoulder.
“Could you tell me what happened here tonight? I only caught a glimpse, but I think I saw Father Zeppeli?”
“Yep, him and Dire Straits. The roads were flooded for a while, but the real danger was the electricity. Had to work fast.”
“Fast as lightning?” Suzi joked.
“Pfft, yeah. But they’re headed back to the Vault, so no need to worry.”
The interview went on for a few more minutes before Joseph put an end to it. The prison van left the scene and returned to Trinity Vault, escorted by police cars, and Joseph and Suzi took their leave as well. As they went across the rooftops of the Lower East Side, they could hear the cheers and rejoicing of the people they’d saved from the ground.
Yeah, this is why I do this shit, Joseph thought to himself as the cheers grew distant. This is all worth it.
Joseph’s alarm clock rang, and he forced himself to open his eyes with a grumble. As he reached out and turned it off, he hissed and winced. A full day had passed, and his shoulder was still feeling like shit. Ah, the joys of a double life.
On the bright side, he could smell something delicious from downstairs. Cooked meat, garlic and onions, probably some eggs or something… There certainly were perks to living with an Italian. Then again, being from England, everything here tasted amazing in comparison to his old home. Nothing Suzi made had ever failed to amaze him, even whenever she fucked up and burned the meal.
He sat up in bed with a yawn and stretched, looking around the room to get his bearings…only to see his beloved girlfriend sleeping beside him. She wasn’t in the kitchen at all, but there was still someone cooking over there. And Joseph had an idea of what the source could be.
In nothing but his underwear, Joseph left the bedroom and went down the hall of his apartment. Turning the corner, he found that the one using his kitchen was none other than Father Zeppeli - or more accurately, his and Suzi’s boyfriend, Caesar.
The cassock had been traded out for some old clothes from Joseph’s closet, and he hardly looked like he’d spent a day in prison. He hummed a low tune as he turned the sausages on the stove, and occasionally checked an egg timer next to an active oven. He looked like he belonged there (which he did, in Joseph’s opinion).
Even though Trinity Vault was created to house prisoners with superpowers, it was hardly news that it wasn’t fully equipped to deal with them. Breakouts happened quite a bit, which didn’t make Joseph and Suzi's job any easier. Thankfully, they didn’t happen as often as they did in the comics.
Joseph yawned and took a few steps forward before practically draping himself over Caesar’s shoulders. His boyfriend didn’t even turn around, only letting out a chuckle. “If you had waited a few more minutes, I would have come to wake you up.”
“Good mornin’ to you too,” Joseph groggily replied, wrapping his arms around Caesar’s waist and nuzzling into his shoulder. “Does Mum know you’re here?”
“Not yet. I…forgot to call her,” Caesar sheepishly admitted. “I was tired.”
“Late-night breakout, then? You know she keeps a window open at her place for you.”
As much as he hated it, he couldn’t just dance around all the shit Caesar caused, even if it was just a necessary evil. But like this, as they were right now, Joseph knew there was no need for action or worry. His boyfriend “Caesar Zeppeli” and the supervillain persona “Father Zeppeli” were kept separate in his mind; completely different people, matching his and Suzi’s own double lives.
Caesar looked behind him, giving him a pointed glance. “Don’t pretend you don’t keep that window unlocked all the time either. Otherwise, you’d lock it when you and Suzi are both inside,” he reminded.
Joseph couldn’t deny that. But damn, he must have been tired to not notice someone sneaking in his bedroom window. He’d have to work on that somehow.
“Whatever,” he groaned. He could hear Caesar muttering something about him snuffling against his neck like a dog, but he ignored it. “Hey, can you do me a favour and, like, not act up for at least a week?”
“Missing out on your beauty sleep, Joestar?” Caesar teased.
“What do you mean, I’m always beautiful,” he joked back. “But nah, I wrenched my shoulder while I was fighting Straizo the other night. Still fuckin’ hurts.”
Caesar flipped the sausages in the pan again. “Isn’t there a nurse living in your mother’s house? Stop whining and just go see her.”
“Don’t wanna,” Joseph huffed, squeezing his arms around Caesar’s waist again. Sure, he wouldn’t deny that he was too proud to go to a doctor this soon, but Erina was an actual sweetheart who he didn’t want to bother with his injuries all the time. She always fussed and fretted over him, but fixed them up nicely. His cousin Jonathan sure got lucky with his now-fiancée - it was a shame he was still missing.
Joseph let out a loud sigh as he dropped his forehead into Caesar’s shoulder. He didn’t want to think about any of this; not his stressful life, not the duty he had to carry. Why couldn’t he just have a single morning without those reminders?
“Food smells good,” he murmured into Caesar’s shoulder. “Love you.”
Caesar laughed, a heavenly sound to the younger man, and shook the pan again. “Go get some coffee already, polpetto.”
“Don’t call me a meatball.” Joseph did not move from his position, not wanting to do anything that involved letting go of Caesar.
He heard the sound of light footsteps on the floor, and he turned to see Suzi join them in the kitchen. He guessed she must have woken up once her personal space heater had suddenly disappeared, as was common in the mornings. She quickly noticed Caesar, and she ran up to him.
“Caesar! You’re back!” Suzi exclaimed, raising a hand to his cheek. He leaned over to the side so she could kiss him, and she transferred her hands to his arm as he straightened up again. “Hai mangiato?”
Caesar shook his head, then motioned to the stove and oven. “La colazione sarà pronta presto, la mia cara.”
Suzi made a surprised face, as if she hadn’t noticed what he was doing this whole time. But she began smiling again, and gently began pushing against Joseph’s side, who was still hogging Caesar’s back. Joseph, of course, refused to budge.
“Come on, Joseph! Move your butt over!” Suzi complained. “I wanna hug Caesar too!”
“Then hold his arm or something! I got here first!”
“What?! No fair!”
As the two kept squabbling and pushing each other, neither of them noticed Caesar reaching towards the nearby sink and turning the handle. A stream of water came out, which then redirected itself to splash in Joseph’s face. He sputtered for a second and let go of Caesar, taking a few steps back.
“What the hell, Caesar?!” Joseph exclaimed. Suzi wisely decided to not steal the free space in case she got splashed too.
“Both of you-” Caesar pointed towards the coffeepot, “-get your coffee and let me cook!”
It took another couple minutes, but Joseph and Suzi went to the “living room”-esque area of their apartment after being shooed out of the kitchen. Joseph fell back on the couch, relaxing into it as Suzi got out her phone to scroll. Another thought occurred to him, and he asked Suzi if he could make a quick call.
“Hey, Mum,” Joseph began once the other line picked up.
“Joseph, it’s nine in the morning. Why does it sound like you just woke up?” Lisa Lisa sharply asked.
“Because I did. Listen, Caesar’s over with us,” he told her. “He forgot to let you know, and he’s in the kitchen now.”
He heard his mother let out a low hum. “I’ll check the Vault’s records later, in case anyone else broke out with him. Tell him that I’ll come by later to talk to him.”
“Alright, alright. He might be a little tired, so go easy on him, alright?” Joseph asked, already used to the routine of gatherings in his house whenever Caesar snuck over. But it was way too early for any kind of gameplans right now, in his opinion.
They finished their talk quickly, and he hung up and handed the phone back to Suzi. It was just in time, as Caesar was coming into the living room with plates for everyone. He put his own on the small coffee table in front of the TV, then handed the other two plates to his partners.
“Sausages and frittatas,” he told them. He took back his own plate and sat at the other end of the couch.
Joseph reached for the TV remote on the table. “Mum’s coming by later for intel,” he warned Caesar, who gave a small nod. Joseph turned on the TV, then sat back.
Suzi grabbed the remote next, changing the channels. When they reached the news station, which had a red banner with “BREAKING NEWS” plastered on the bottom of the screen, curiosity made them pause and watch whatever story was on.
“Reports are that Caesar Zeppeli, AKA ‘Father Zeppeli’, had escaped from Trinity Vault last night,” the news anchor reported. “Taking after his grandfather ‘Baron Zeppeli’, Father Zeppeli is very dangerous, so be sure to keep an eye out…”
“I think this is the fastest you’ve broken out so far,” Joseph remarked, tuning out whatever else the anchor was yammering about. “Damn, and here I thought Suzi’s thing was about speed!”
Caesar laughed as he readjusted himself into a more comfortable position, accidentally pushing his clothes back and exposing a bruise on his arm. Suzi let out a small whimper as her focus zeroed-in on the mark.
“Does it hurt?” she asked. “I didn’t mean to- I’ll get you some ice.”
“No need. It doesn’t hurt, not unless you press on it,” Caesar assured her. “It actually helps me, you know. The more roughed-up you look when you’re arrested, the more it seems like you put up a fight. That kind of thing is respected in the Vault.”
“Hey, if we’re talking about that night, why the hell did you flood the streets anyway?” Joseph asked. Hydrokinesis might be Caesar’s thing, but random floodings weren't his forte. He always had a reason.
“There was a school of fish near the edge of the ocean. I just had to push them into the river and sweep them into the slums,” Caesar explained. “Since the funding for food stamps got reduced, I figured that the people would be smart and catch the fish.”
Joseph slowly nodded, as he had seen people do that with baskets while he and Suzi passed them by.
“Oh please, flooding’s not the worst thing he’s done anyway. Remember Senator Mogizo?” Suzi chimed in. “He was drowned from the inside! Caesar could probably make a wave bigger than the one in the movie 2012, and what happened to the senator would still be scarier!”
“He was a political puppet for Ishikamen. I regret nothing,” Caesar bluntly replied. He finished up what was on his plate and put it on the coffee table.
Just that name made the food in Joseph’s mouth become tasteless mush. He swallowed and stole the remote from Suzi, flicking through the channels until he came upon a comedy show. But even watching people falling down or saying something stupid didn’t make the pit in his stomach go away.
Why did that fucking organization have to cast a shadow over his life? It would never stop until it got rubbed out, he knew that. But he was so sick and tired of being reminded of it.
Soon, Suzi and Caesar’s plates were stacked on top of his own. Caesar got up from the couch, asking, “Where do you guys keep your blankets?”
Joseph looked at him confusedly. “In the closet, why?”
“The Vault has no heating. I’m fucking freezing.”
Suzi grabbed the plates and went to put them on the counter. Caesar began heading towards the bedroom to find the blankets, but his arm was suddenly grabbed by Joseph.
“What the hell-”
“Nope, you’re not moving.” Joseph pulled him back towards the couch, turning him around and pushing him onto it. “Now, stay put.”
Caesar opened his mouth to protest, which only came out as a wheeze of air as Joseph suddenly laid his whole body weight on top of him. He shifted around to get comfortable, which ended with him lying with his back against Caesar’s chest. He could practically feel Caesar seething as he stared at the ceiling, which eased slightly when Suzi came back and noticed the pile.
“Suzi, cara, would you mind- GAH!”
Whatever request Caesar was going to make, possibly a passive-aggressive attempt to get Joseph off him, was halted by Suzi flinging herself to the top of the pile, lying on her stomach on top of Joseph. The pair giggled amongst themselves as Caesar let out a sigh, resigning himself to his fate.
The apartment quieted again, save for the program on the TV. Suzi hummed and nuzzled her face into Joseph’s face, the last traces of sleep still clinging to her. It was the weekend, so she’d probably try to get away with falling asleep on top of them. Joseph couldn’t disagree with that from his position of being sandwiched between his partners. Not everyone could say that they had a pair of blonde Italians on each arm, and that was definitely way better than some “sexy twins” fantasy that movies tried to promote!
Then again, it’d be much better if he could be with both of them all the time.
Joseph tried his hardest not to sigh or tear up from frustration. The damper on his mood only seemed to get heavier the more he thought about it. But there was nothing he could do about it, so he tried to put it out of his mind. Even so, it still felt like there was a lump of lead in his chest.
Caesar shifted under him, and he tried to put his arms around him. “Joseph…?”
“Joseph, what’s wrong?” Suzi asked, her eyes fluttering open and looking at him with concern.
Of course, trust his partners to sense that something was very wrong. They’d been around each other for too long, they could already intuit his actions or thoughts.
“I just…” Joseph sighed. “I wish we didn’t have to do this.”
Caesar frowned. “What do you mean, ‘this’?”
“You know, all this sneaking around. We fight each other in uniform and make a public spectacle of it, but we can only be in love when we’re in hiding. Sure, all of us see each other a lot, but you’re locked up in the Vault half the time. It’s not fucking fair and you know it.”
Suzi let out a sad coo, wiggling her way up Joseph’s upper body to wrap her arms around his head in a hug. He leaned into her touch, wishing his partners wouldn’t share his pain for once.
“You know it can’t be helped,” Caesar reminded him, as he had time and time again. “Lisa Lisa needs an agent to work outside of the law, to do all the things we can’t do legally. You don’t have to worry about your reputation or dirtying your hands like this.” He paused for a moment, then let out a huff of amusement. “Even if I wasn’t on the run, we wouldn’t be able to act like we’re dating in public anyway.”
In the end, the truth of Caesar’s supervillain persona “Father Zeppeli” was investigation. The organization Ishikamen had long since infiltrated the government, cutting off any publicly-available leads in their wake. Using his late grandfather’s reputation, Lisa Lisa ordered Caesar to cause havoc. He broke into official buildings and created rapport with other criminals to get access to information, earning respect and fear in turn. While Lisa Lisa could only handle the legal parts of their investigation, Caesar’s findings were invaluable.
“But Joseph’s right,” Suzi protested. “You don’t like this either. We can’t even walk around in the day and pretend to be friends.”
Caesar said nothing in reply. No amount of protests could change the path they were on. Caesar and Lisa Lisa could probably justify it as prioritizing the needs of the many, but Joseph couldn’t accept that. He was glad that Suzi at least sided with him on this.
“This won’t be forever, you know,” Suzi murmured. “Your grandfather was pardoned after his own investigations were discovered, right? So when we expose Ishikamen and destroy it, we can get you some sort of pardon too…!”
Joseph nodded. “Yeah, Mum will probably raise hell to get all your charges dropped once this is all over…”
“I know, I know. She’s probably planning that,” Caesar laughed. “But you know it’s probably not going to happen, right? Even my grandfather, he was only pardoned after his death.”
The hopelessness of the situation and the words only made Joseph’s temper spike.
“Just you wait, Caesar. I’ll help her too, if they don’t take her word for it. You will live a normal life again, don’t you doubt it!”
Caesar just smiled that sad smile of his, like he wanted to believe in his words but couldn’t bring himself to hope for it. Joseph was determined to follow through on his promise, to make a miracle somehow happen like he always did. And even if Caesar didn’t believe in it, he knew he had Suzi to back him up all the way.
At least, only when it came to his plans. Because when she started reaching around him to kiss Caesar, she was most definitely not on his side, dammit!