Chapter Text
Aang was kicking himself as he paced his bedroom. I just said I was confused. He had been hearing Katara’s voice repeating in his head all night. He shouldn’t have kissed her. Not like that. He’d just wanted her to know how much she meant to him, to—ugh. He was such an idiot.
He was not going to fall asleep right now. He wanted to talk to someone, to pour out all his feelings and ask for advice, but there was no one to go to. He couldn’t ask Katara for advice about his feelings for Katara—he’d decided months ago that this was a crucial problem in his figuring-out-how-to-tell-Katara-I’m-in-love-with-her dilemma, the person he relied most on for advice was out. Toph didn’t do feelings. Sokka wouldn’t want to talk about his sister. Suki and Zuko were too new. Momo and Appa were good listeners, but still not great at telling him what he needed to know.
He headed for his balcony, figuring he could at least meditate with the breeze on his face. He was about to sit down when he heard a familiar soft voice below.
“And I told him I was confused but he kissed me anyway and ugh, Zuko…”
He froze as he glanced over under one of the trees, where Katara had her head buried in her knees. Zuko had his arm wrapped around her and was stroking her shoulder, pulling her closer to him.
“It’s going to be okay, Katara,” Zuko said. “Aang will understand.”
“No, he won’t,” Katara insisted. “I was trying to explain to him and he just—what am I going to do? He’s my best friend! I don’t want to screw it up even worse!”
Aang slowly backed away, glad that neither of them had bothered to look up. He didn’t know what he’d do if they saw him. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Katara. And Zuko. Katara and Zuko.
It…it made sense. Zuko was taller, handsomer, older…he didn’t trip over his own mouth and blush every time he tried to have a conversation with Katara. Who wouldn’t prefer him? Hadn’t the play just shown that? Had everyone seen it except him? Was he that oblivious? Were they all trying to spare his feelings? And he…ugh, he was such a jerk. He’d kissed Katara when all she wanted was someone else and was trying to be considerate of his feelings, trying to be sensitive and kind, to not break his heart. Well, it was a good effort…even if futile. He wanted to throw up thinking about Zuko’s arm around her, the way he stroking her skin in comfort, the way that Aang wished he could touch her.
He’d thought, for one moment on that submarine, when he had kissed her, when he’d tried to put all the feelings that he couldn’t say with his lips, he thought she had kissed him back. He thought that maybe she felt it too. He’d been such an idiot. He’d seen what he wanted to see.
He thought about what Katara was saying and he sighed to himself. He’d put her in a terrible position. She didn’t want to hurt him. She was afraid of losing him as a friend. He wanted her to be happy. He really did. He could put his feelings aside. He could support her. He could make sure she didn’t have to worry about him. He could make sure that, no matter what else, Katara was never crying about him after dark ever again. He could do that. That’s what you did when you loved someone.
Love sucked.
“Aren’t you going to ask her to dance?” Toph asked.
“Who?” Aang said, feigning ignorance as he watched Katara on the dance floor. Zuko had asked her to dance. He, and all the other Fire Nationals at his coronation, didn’t know dances anymore, so the dancing seemed to mostly just be people swaying in couples. Katara had one hand in Zuko’s, the other on his shoulder.
He had one petty thought about wondering if it was just that Zuko was taller than her, unlike him. Maybe she just wanted someone she could look up to like every other girl did. He squashed that. Nope, Zuko was great. Zuko was his friend. Zuko had thrown himself in front of a lightning bolt for Katara last week, just like Aang wouldn’t have hesitated to do. Aang might have hated it, but at least he knew that Zuko cared for Katara.
“Uh, Sugar Queen? Obviously?” Toph prompted. “Who else would I be talking about? Did you get a head injury during your fight with the Fire Lord and forget to tell us?”
“No,” Aang said, “she’s busy.”
Toph rolled her eyes, “Yeah, dancing with Zuko. Don’t act like you haven’t noticed.” Aang hummed and didn’t say anything. Toph couldn’t call him a liar if he didn’t say anything, and there’s no way she could know that his eyes hadn’t left Katara all night. “It’s not like you can’t ask for the next dance,” Toph pointed out.
“I think I’m going to turn in early,” Aang decided. “After a walk by the pond, maybe.”
“Why?” Toph said.
“Just tired.”
“Come on, you can’t ditch. Suki and Sokka are off making out somewhere. Everyone wants to talk to the new Fire Lord. You’re really going to leave me here?”
“Talk to Ty Lee or Mai,” Aang suggested.
“Mai’s too busy staring at Zuko and Ty Lee’s too busy staring at—well, everything. Does she ever sit still? It’s annoying. I’m not sure about this whole second chance thing we’re giving them.”
“I’m going for a walk and then too bed,” Aang said.
“I thought I taught you to face things head on,” Toph muttered as he walked away. Aang ignored her as he left the hall.
He was glad to get away. He was trying to stick to his commitment, to be a good friend to Katara, to not do anything to make her uncomfortable. It was just so hard. She looked so beautiful tonight. He wanted to dance with her tonight. He wanted to be the one holding her. All he’d wanted to do since he got back from the comet was pull her into his arms, to hug her and breathe in the smell of her hair, but he knew he couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t be right. He was just torturing himself watching her with another guy.
The turtle-ducks quacked at him as he got closer and he smiled. They were cute. The world was at peace. He’d defeated the Fire Lord. He should be here with Katara, giggling over turtle-ducks. How did everything just get so…complicated.
He sighed and moved into a waterbending stance, trying not remember the feeling of Katara’s hands on his skin or her breath on the back of his neck when she corrected a stance. He’d had lots of teachers over the years, in all four elements, none of them had ever made him blush during a lesson. Except her.
“Aang.”
He thought he’d hallucinated it at first. He thought that his longing ache for Katara had become so real that he’d actually imagined her voice in his head. Until he realized she was there, calling his name.
He dropped the water and forced a smile on his face, “Oh, hey, Katara. Why aren’t you inside? I thought you were dancing with Zuko.”
“He’s dancing with Mai now,” Katara said. “I wanted to come find you. You’ve gotten a lot better, you know.”
“Had a great teacher,” Aang smiled, “just come here to correct my stance, Sifu?”
Katara huffed a laugh, “No, I wanted to talk to you.”
“Oh, sure,” Aang said, forcing his voice to become light, “about what?”
“About the play,” Katara said, her voice suddenly shy, averting her eyes, “about—about the kiss—the kisses. I—”
“It’s okay, Katara,” Aang said. “You don’t have to say anything.”
Katara jerked her head and suddenly met his eyes, confused, “What? What do you mean?”
“It’s fine,” Aang assured her, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t—”
“I think you were right,” Aang went on, forcing himself to stay smiling and to say the words he’d practiced over the past week, “I just got caught up in the timing and the comet and everything. We’re great as friends. I hope that we can still be friends no matter what.”
He thought, for one moment, that he detected hurt in Katara’s eyes, but then she smiled and Aang was sure that he had imagined it, “Oh good…I’m glad. I—you know you mean a lot to me. As a friend.”
“And I feel the same way,” Aang said.
“I—my dad wants me to come home with him in a few days. The Tribe needs waterbenders to help rebuild. Pakku found another student there and he’d like my help training them. Dad thinks I should come home with him. Sokka’s not coming, but—”
“I think that’s a great idea,” Aang said, forcing his tone bright.
Katara stared at him, “You do?”
“Yep,” Aang said, “your Tribe needs you. You’ve missed your home and your grandmother. You’ll get to teach waterbending. That sounds like a great plan.” She’d be happy. And if he didn’t have to see her kissing Zuko in front of him, well, that was even better. It wouldn’t make up for him not being able to see her everyday, but…he wasn’t going to stand in her way. She’d taken care of him for a year. She’d given up everything for him. It was time to return the favor.
“But…” Katara was still staring at him, “But…Zuko said that you’re staying here in the Fire Nation for awhile, then maybe go to the Earth Kingdom.”
“Yep,” Aang nodded, “We need to make sure the peace lasts.”
“But…then we won’t see each other,” Katara was looking at him confused. “We’ll be apart. That’s what you want? You’re okay with that?”
“I’m totally okay with that,” Aang lied. “We’ll always be friends, but you have your work and I have mine and right now…that’s not the same thing. I’m sure you’ll do amazing stuff down South. You’ll have to write and tell me about it.”
“You really don’t see any problem with that?” Katara asked. “You don’t have any objections?”
Aang forced himself to be a friend. What would a friend ask? What would he ask if it was Toph or Suki? “Well, is Zuko okay with the plan? He won’t miss you too much?”
“I’m—I’m sure he will,” Katara looked bewildered, “but yeah, he’s fine with the plan. He’s going to visit us in a few months, actually. Diplomatic visit. Sokka’s already planning it.”
“Well, then that’s great then,” Aang grinned. “I’m happy for you.”
Katara stared at him for a moment and then, Aang could almost swear he saw her shoulders slump, “I’m happy for me too.”
Aang felt gross the next morning. Maybe this was what a hangover would feel like if he ever drank alcohol? If so, he was never drinking. This sucked.
He dragged himself to breakfast and saw Sokka and Suki already there. Sokka was shoveling food in his mouth and Suki was watching him with affection, shaking her head, dark circles under his eyes.
“Hey Aang,” Suki grinned.
“Where’s Toph?” Aang frowned. “She said she wanted to earthbend this morning.”
Suki smirked, “She swiped some alcohol from the bar before Zuko caught her. She’s probably still passed out after never drinking before. Where did you go last night?”
“Oh, wanted to go to bed early.”
Sokka looked up, “Did Katara find you? She was looking for you.”
“Yep,” Aang said, reaching for some jook.
“Did she tell you what our dad suggested?”
“Yep, I told her it was a great idea.”
Sokka’s chopsticks clattered to his plate, Suki looked up from her coffee at Aang’s words, frowning.
After another few moments of silence, Aang looked up from his breakfast and frowned as he saw both of them staring at him, “What?”
“You told her it was a great idea?” Sokka repeated, his tone slow, like he was sure he heard wrong.
“Yeah.”
“Why?” Suki demanded.
Aang blinked, “Why not?”
“Why n—” Sokka gaped at him.
“Sokka!” Zuko burst into the room.
Sokka’s eyes snapped away from Aang, “What’s wrong?”
Zuko glanced at Aang, grimaced, and then looked at Sokka, “It’s Katara.”
“Is she okay?” Aang asked immediately.
Zuko opened his mouth, closed it, ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation, then forced a breath through his nose before he responded calmly, “Yeah, she’s fine.” Aang frowned. It sounded like Zuko was lying. Where was Toph when he needed her? “She just wants to talk to you, Sokka. Like, now.”
Sokka glanced at Aang, then back at Zuko, “Aang just told me how he told Katara leaving us and going back to the Water Tribe was a great idea.”
Zuko grimaced, “Yeah, she told me.” He shot Aang an annoyed look. Aang was bewildered. Why was Zuko mad at him? Oh, right. Katara was his girlfriend. He probably wanted her to stay here with him. That’s what he’d want if he was Zuko.
Sokka exhaled in exasperation, “So this is about…?”
“Yeah,” Zuko said.
“I hate everything,” Sokka announced, standing up. “I’m coming.”
The two teenagers walked out the door. Aang looked after them, puzzled, then glanced back to see Suki staring at him. “What?” he asked.
“You’re an idiot,” she informed him.
Aang thought the next few days were weird. He barely saw Katara at all. Zuko was glaring at him. He saw Sokka waving his hands in exasperation as he ranted to Suki several times, but he always stopped whenever Aang came near. He tried practicing some earthbending with Toph, but for some reason she seemed unusually aggressive and he kept getting injured. Given that he wasn’t about to ask Katara to go heal his bruises, he decided it was better for his safety to find other things to do.
The morning Katara and her dad left, he’d gone to docks and forced himself to smile. Katara seemed like herself, she’d smiled at him and told him she’d miss him and to make sure he’d write. She’d pulled him into a hug and he hadn’t wanted to break it. He just wanted to keep holding onto her for another moment and at some point he realized she hadn’t let go either. Until Toph coughed pointedly and Aang hurriedly released her. He hoped that hadn’t been inappropriate. From the blush on Katara’s cheeks, maybe he had been holding on too long.
Then Katara held Zuko and Aang had to force himself to look away as the new Fire Lord tenderly pulled her into a hug.
“It’s going to be okay,” Zuko assured her, keeping his voice low. Aang guessed neither of them had ever realized that with his airbending, his hearing was almost as good as Toph’s. “It’ll work itself out. If it’s meant to be…”
“I know,” Katara agreed.
Aang had thought maybe they would kiss goodbye or something, but Katara just cupped Zuko’s cheek and gave him a fond smile before heading for the gangplank. Maybe they weren’t the public display kind of couple. Maybe that was another reason why he wouldn’t have been a good match for Katara because if she was his girlfriend…he didn’t think he’d be able to stop kissing her, no matter who was watching.
Zuko watched as Katara got on the boat, his eyes sad. As they cast off Zuko gave a heavy sigh and turned to glare at Aang, “This is totally your fault, for the record.”
“What?” Aang said, taken aback. “How is Katara leaving my fault?”
Zuko looked over at Suki, exasperated, “Is he actually this oblivious?”
“Yes,” Suki said.
“It’s annoying,” Toph rolled her eyes.
“Guys, what are you talking about?” Aang said.
“I just…I can’t even,” Sokka started walking away.
Aang stared after him, bewildered.