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Jahoda stumbles out of the Flagship into the cool night air, the breeze more than welcome upon her alcohol-warmed face. Absently, she leans her back against the the nearest wall, the flourescent sign pointing to the Flagship flickering above her.
She slips a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket, smacking the pack against the palm of her hand a few times. She flips the top open and slides a cigarette out, holding it between two mechanical fingers and just looking at it for a moment. She's not proud of it, but growing up surrounded by gangs and bandits left her with some unsavory habits.
She shrugs a little, cupping her hand around the flame as she lights up the cigarette and inhales. As she breathes out, she watches the smoke float up into the sky and be whisked away by the wind.
A few other patrons of the Flagship smoke and mingle nearby, but Jahoda keeps to herself, kicking her shoe against the ground. Nefer's inside, playing some sort of insidious game of roulette with unsuspecting victims, and a few other familiar faces line the bar. It's loud enough inside that Jahoda can hear the rumble of chatter even from outside.
The moment of respite, of relative quiet, is needed. She takes another drag, closing her eyes and letting her head fall against the cool wall behind her. She stays like this for some time, feeling the world spin a little.
"Jahoda."
The voice nearly makes Jahoda jump straight out of her boots, her eyes snapping open to be met with Ineffa's face mere centimeters from her own. She immediately lowers the cigarette, putting it out against the brick wall behind her.
"Back up! Jeez, don't you know anything about personal space?" Jahoda pushes Ineffa back with her free hand, the other still holding the snubbed cigarette behind her back. It's an attempt to hide the fact she was smoking from Ineffa — the last thing she wants is this obtuse metalface getting on her case about it — but it's a futile attempt at that. Ineffa definitely saw her and probably has some sort of olfactory sensor to detect the smoke lingering around them.
Of course, Ineffa gets on her case about it.
"Jahoda, smoking increases risk of serious lung and throat disease—"
"I know that, you stupid robot," Jahoda grumbles, "How about you start a conversation with 'hello'? Or how about you just—"
"Hello," Ineffa interrupts, her optical sensors clicking in her metal skull as she looks around Jahoda's face. "If you know the risks, why would you do it?"
Jahoda groans loudly. "Now's not the time, Ineffa. Seriously," she says, turning on her heel and starting to head back towards the alleyway of the Flagship. She really only smokes after she's had a bit to drink, but Ineffa doesn't need to know that, nor does Jahoda think it would make much of a difference in the robot's behavior if she did.
Ineffa grabs her wrist to stop her, and Jahoda looks back over her shoulder. "You are so insufferable, you know that?" Jahoda snarks, shaking her wrist free from Ineffa's grasp but still turning to face her again. "What is it? Why do you even care what I do?"
"I want you to live as long as possible," Ineffa answers like it's the most simple, natural thing in the world.
Jahoda feels a sudden heat rush to her face and ears. "H-Huh?"
"Would you like me to repeat myself?" Ineffa inquires, tilting her head slightly.
Jahoda shakes her head and clears her throat, trying to regain some semblance of composure. "Look, I know you're trying to look out for me, or whatever, okay?" she says, averting her eyes to the ground as her voice comes out considerably softer, "But sometimes people do things that don't make sense, and no one owes you an explanation."
"Okay, understood," Ineffa says, and Jahoda can feel Ineffa's optical sensors on her.
Jahoda laughs a little as she meets Ineffa's gaze. "Really, that's it? Some part of me expected you to rip the pack out of my pocket and incinerate it with your hands."
"That course of action did occur to me."
"What, seriously!?"
Jahoda doubles over with laughter now, and Ineffa watches with a smile pulling at her mouth. Once Jahoda has straightened back up, she says, "What are you doing in Nasha Town so late, anyway?"
Ineffa begins to recite a list of menial tasks given to her by Aino that Jahoda really has no interest in, but maybe it's the booze lingering in her system, because she can't tear her gaze away as Ineffa speaks, watching the way her mechanical parts — her lips — move to create speech.
The anger that Jahoda had held for Ineffa only a few minutes ago has dissappated into the cool night air, and in its stead is a familiar, softer heat rising in her chest, licking at her ribcage. Ineffa's words echo words echo around in her head: I want you to live as long as possible. It's a simple phrase, but it makes her heart race.
"Jahoda?"
Her name out of Ineffa's mouth pulls Jahoda from her reverie. "Y-Yes?"
"You were not listening."
Jahoda snorts, lifting a hand to scratch at the back of her neck. "Hah, yeah, like I want to hear about all your chores in detail," she says sarcastically, trying to dispell the heat in her chest and her face.
"You should not have asked, then," Ineffa responds with a little smirk.
Jahoda lifts a hand to playfully hit Ineffa in the shoulder. Ineffa catches her hand before it lands, though, again holding Jahoda by the wrist. This time, Jahoda does not shake free. She holds Ineffa's gaze and feels her throat tighten, lingering in this pose until Ineffa loosens her grip, Jahoda letting her arm fall back down to her side.
"Is something… on your mind?" Ineffa asks carefully. "That was not a typical reaction."
Jahoda clears her throat. "Er, sorry. Probably just the alcohol," she says, half willing it to be the truth. But Jahoda is not a fool, and trying to trick herself will only get her so far. She squeezes her hand at her side, fingernails digging into her palms.
I want you to live as long as possible.
Ineffa certainly has a long life ahead of her, perhaps longer than Jahoda can even fathom. For Ineffa to say it so clearly, so simply — it makes Jahoda's head spin. Certainly, there are people in her life who want her around, who care for her well-being. But Ineffa… She practically spelled it out: I want as much time with you as I can possibly have.
But why should she? Jahoda insults her, pushes her, snaps at her… and hardly ever finds it in herself to apologize in the way Ineffa deserves. Jahoda can be reckless — she's come face-to-face with death before, and were it not for Nefer, for Aino and Ineffa, she would be in a much darker place, if she managed to live at all.
She must come across as ungrateful. She must come across as callous and rude. Part of her itches to ask Ineffa just what she sees that makes her keep coming around. That makes her care if Jahoda smokes a cigarette outside a bar. That makes her want to see this, any of this, through.
But sure, yeah, these feelings are just the alcohol. Jahoda almost wants to laugh at herself.
"You should get going," she says instead, turning her face upwards to look at the sky. Where once hung a false moon now holds the truth. Jahoda's heart pumps loud in her chest.
Ineffa doesn't budge. "Based on atypical behaviors and your current facial expression, I have come to the conclusion that my departure is not truly what you desire," she says, casting her gaze up to the moon, too.
Jahoda does laugh at herself this time. How stupid, even a robot can see through her desperate attempts to divorce herself from her own wants.
Growing up, when she wanted something, she stole it. It was part instinct, but more often than not, it was survival. Now, given the space to worry about more than where her next meal is coming from, she flounders. What is she to do with this want for Ineffa when it's looking her straight in the face?
Goddamn Ineffa. This was supposed to be a relaxing smoke break, and the buzz of the alcohol's definitely worn off. Still, Jahoda feels a different intoxicant flooding her senses as she looks to Ineffa and sees that Ineffa's already looking back.
"Ineffa," she says, swallowing thickly. Her want grows spikes as she holds Ineffa's gaze, poking out from her insides, begging — no, demanding to be seen. She takes a deep breath and brings her hand up to Ineffa's face, feeling the cool metal plating against her fingertips.
Her fingers tremble as she traces them against the grooves of Ineffa's cheeks, the screws holding her in place. This robot, who irritates Jahoda with her obtuse questions and her lack of common sense, who has an abysmal sense of humor, who puts lizard tails in cakes and gets on her case about cigarettes — yes, she is what Jahoda wants.
It is not a new realization, but it is one that has never surfaced so violently. Jahoda hardly thinks before she tugs Ineffa along with her into the nearest unpopulated alleyway, swerving around abandoned construction supplies and metal crates.
Now sheltered from onlookers, Jahoda feels her want ever more keenly, pushing Ineffa against the wall behind them. Their chests press together, faces hardly centimeters apart. Jahoda can hear the gears shift and click behind Ineffa's metal plating.
"Is this okay?" Jahoda asks, feeling her heartbeat in her throat.
"Very much so," Ineffa responds, one of her arms coming to curl around Jahoda's waist. "But, Jahoda, are you certain you are in the state—"
"I know what I want," Jahoda says, and the words are liberating. "I want you, Ineffa. I want—"
Ineffa surges forward to press her mouth to Jahoda's, and Jahoda immediately succumbs to the touch, any further words dying on her tongue. The kiss is heady, Jahoda grasping desperately Ineffa's body with greedy fingers. Her want for Ineffa rears its head, and she allows it to consume her; she allows her want to guide her hands, her mouth, her tongue. She moves down to kiss at Ineffa's neck, Ineffa shuddering against her.
Lousy habits — stealing, smoking, avoiding her feelings like the plague — don't give her nearly the headrush that Ineffa does. She mouths against Ineffa's neck, tasting metal and listening to the hum of Ineffa's inner workings as they go into overdrive.
Yes, Jahoda will try to live as long as she possibly can to experience this over, and over, and over again.
When she pulls away, although only slightly, Ineffa quickly pulls her back, robotic hands entwining with the hair at the base of her neck. Jahoda is absolutely blissed as Ineffa kisses her, peppering her lips across Jahoda's cheeks and the tip of her nose before settling again on her mouth.
"Jahoda," Ineffa murmurs against Jahoda's mouth, "Please, take care of yourself."
"Mhm," Jahoda hums, letting her head fall to the crook of Ineffa's neck, feeling the artificial heat radiating from Ineffa's body. Ineffa continues to hold her close, fingers tracing against her shoulderblades.
"Would you like me to hold your hand as you sleep tonight?"
Any other time, Jahoda would act embarrassed at the suggestion. It's so… so pure, and full of care. Sometimes it's easier to deflect such earnest care than accept it with open arms, and yet…
"Yes, I'd like that."
Ineffa smiles, and Jahoda's heart soars.
Maybe she could get used to this vulnerable life.