Chapter Text
It started off normal.
A random cough, here and there. Jagae assumed it was just the usual cold that came from overworking or staying outside too much. It happens a lot more often to newer recruits, but sometimes it does tend to get her sick despite her experience. She’s used to it.
Well, usually. This time, she didn’t expect to get lightheaded while steering her ship.
Jagae brushed it off with a shake of her head, but she couldn’t exactly shake the weird feeling it gave her.
Then, after routine workouts, things she’d do regularly, she often found herself wheezing, like she couldn’t breathe during harder training.
Weeks passed, and more and more dizzy spells and coughing berated her regularly, to the point she’d decided she wouldn’t just leave it to fate anymore.
Chug some medicine and she’d be fine for an hour, give or take.
She swore not to worry her crew, because she knew how they’d get. Hyper at the chance to take care of their beloved captain, though it’s a shame Jagae detested being smothered like that.
She refused to look so pitiful in their eyes. Especially since what would she say if anyone outside of their circle found out?
Unfortunately for her, it seemed she would have to worry about that tenfold now, since the next time she coughed, it was terrifyingly violent.
Thanks the witches she was in her quarters when it came, but that relief couldn’t come any sooner.
Jagae covered her mouth in reflex and hunched over, falling onto her knees when a sharp pain shot through her chest. She balanced herself with her free hand, her palm against the wood of her room.
She felt her body sway, and staggered to keep her balance, as her breathing got more and more irregular.
She felt like something was blocking her airway, and she coughed willingly a few more times to clear it.
She stopped when she felt something on her palm.
Warily, she opened her hand after calming down from the sudden cough.
She gasped, her eyes widening in shock.
A single, light purple petal.
She couldn’t believe it.
She’s seen it before— one of her older shipmates had the same problem, before he had to retire due to the medical issues that came with it.
‘Hanahaki Disease’.
Jagae nearly held her breath, her eyebrows knitting as she continued the staring contest with the petal.
Even the Pale Ailment sounded a lot more merciful.
She couldn’t exactly recall the reason for why it happened, but she did remember that it had something to do with love. It was years ago after all.
Absurd, she’d probably say, if not for the horrific expression on her face.
If she had it, then who could possibly be the root of all this?
At first, she couldn’t picture any faces. Clients were strictly business, and friends were purely platonic. She didn’t think she’d have feelings towards anyone.
If anything, it should be her ship, or even the sea. But deep down she had a nagging sense of something else.
It wasn't till she received a letter from him, about a week later, from her most annoying rival.
It was as normal as ever. The usual stupid remarks and comments criticizing anything about her, and that weird stuff that blurred the lines between rivalry and.. whatever they had. Teasing or something, she didn’t pay much mind to it.
A subtle scent came off of the red parchment, and that familiar smell seemed to have triggered it again.
She felt it in her lung, an odd tingling sensation when her body suddenly willed itself to cough.
She jerked forwards, her hand once more reflexively pulling up towards her mouth.
Jagae coughed over and over again uncontrollably, and she felt like she was going to throw up at one point.
The tickle in her chest subsided after a moment, as she leaned back in her chair to catch her breath, her vision still blurring at the edges.
She already knew what was in her hand.
Her hand tossed it into the trashcan she’d hid under her desk, as she attempted to stand up, her legs still shaking.
What a terrifying revelation to get.
That it was him of all people.
She walked out onto the deck of her ship, striding past her crew and heading straight for the town below.
There was a library nearby, and she thought it was a good idea to understand whatever ailment she was cursed with. Especially if he was somehow involved.
Maybe a bad idea to go outside where anyone could see her, but oh well.
She strode into the building quickly, clutching her sleeve like a lifeline. She should’ve brought a tissue or a handkerchief at least, she thought, scolding her reckless behaviour.
She glanced between books on shelves, pausing at books that mentioned medicine or common illnesses. It took about an hour and a few petals to find what she was looking for. A book about rare occurring sicknesses.
Jagae genuinely hesitated even flipping through it. It sickened her to the stomach knowing she may or may not have such an odd disease.
But alas, in this world, information was as good was money itself, and by all means, the guild master knew that word by word.
She inhaled deeply, as much as she could anyways without causing a scene, and opened the book to the index. She subsequently flipped to the pages talking about a Floropulmontary Syndrome, or in the subtext beside it: Hanahaki Disease.
The said disease had no known beginning cause or outbreak. It seemed it just.. happened on whims. The first known case though was founded near Red Bean Harbor, and fuck— if that wasn’t a sign then Jagae didn’t know what was.
That, and it didn’t happen to everyone. Just those who were unlucky to find out.
Isn’t that fun?
She skimmed through the pages mentioning symptoms. Shortness of breath, nausea, dizziness, and the most unique symptom: exceptorating flowers. A fancy way of saying coughing up literal plants.
Despite the terrifying feeling of reading what could possibly become of her, Jagae’s blood thinned at something else.
The universal cause of it was unrequited love. No scientific name for that because it’s not really a symptom in the first place, which just pissed her off even further.
So you’re telling Jagae that this bullshit is because of whatever unspoken feelings she has for that fucking fox?!
First of all— she has expressed very strongly, of any of her emotions towards him!
Like hell did she harbour any romantic interest in him!
Second.. ah crumbs— there’s just no fucking way.
She sighed once, coughing lightly at the sudden change of breathing, and kept reading.
Turns out, every case is different. The flowers symbolize whoever the person is, and what kind of love they’re dealing with.
How poetic.
Jagae put the book down with a light slam, careful not to bring much attention to her while still fuming.
She would’ve stormed out of the library quicker than how fast a storm brews when boats are about to set sail, if not for a final question she had.
What flower was it?
She had already memorized how the petals looked.
She began to search through books of botany, anything that spoke of flowers.
Roses, lillies, lilacs, but none of the photos looked similar to the purple flower petal she’d crumpled into the pocket of her jeogori.
The sun was already setting by the time she had given up and trudged out of the library.
The tingle in her chest only intensified as she walked back to her ship, her pace accelerating at the fear that she might break down in front of a crowd.
She wasn’t too keen on letting this disease take her out after all she’s been through.
—
Another month had passed, and the coughing fits had only grown worse.
Blood was a common occurrence, and rotting petals scoured nearly every footstep of her room. It was today that she had coughed up her first entire bud.
She had long locked herself in her room, claiming she was swamped with paperwork, and would get her crew to deal with appointments and mooring the ship.
It was living hell, basically vomiting flowers every ten minutes, and if not, every five minutes.
She didn’t know what to do. She felt utterly helpless every time her body made her hunch over to spill out blood and those damned petals.
She recalled the words in that book every time. Every case was different, which meant it could end in a hundred different ways.
Give up on those emotions, express them properly, forcefully get the flowers out of her lungs or just let the disease gut you from the inside out.
Witches, she needed this to end already. She was already tortured with the fact that she can’t even do her job right, but along with knowing that fox was the reasoning behind it all?
She still couldn’t grasp why she liked him— if she even did, and she was not too sure she wanted to even confess whatever she felt!
..No.. that’s not quite right.
She didn’t know what she felt. Even when it was the only thing she could think of when her vision blurred. Romance was something she’d truly never imagined for herself.
One thing was for sure, it wasn’t his fault. That didn’t mean the thought didn’t bug her.
Now she’s literally gutted with the idea that she is in love— or whatever the fuck is going on with her.
But him? Out of everyone? Even if she did tell him, would that guarantee her recovery?
If it was still unreciprocated, then what? Would she be doomed to die to flowers out of all things?!
Imagining him laughing in her face was so much more plausible than him having feelings for her.
Fuck, she really was just unlucky.
She laid back in her bed, as she held a handkerchief directly on her mouth, anticipating for any sudden pain.
Her vision slowly blurred the light of the sun shining through her window into the darkness of the shadows.