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Artemy Burakh,
I apologize for my sudden departure, but you know I have my life’s work in the Capital. I cannot stay here despite your wishes.
You must think me insane. I know Thanatica has been destroyed. I know my work is gone. I don’t know what I expect to find upon my return, but I have hope. That’s what’s kept me going this far.
My mind hasn’t been right since the destruction of the Polyhedron. I don’t believe I’ll ever forgive you for your decision. I thought the twyrine would help ease me, but it seems it has done the opposite. Maybe I should’ve expected it, given Peter’s state. The alcohol has done him no good, so why would it help me?
Excuse my ramblings. I believe I am a bit tipsy. By the time you get this letter, I’ll be gone. Give the children my regards. I hope we meet again someday.
Yours,
Sincerely,
Bachelor Daniil D. Dankovsky
Daniil,
I can’t say I'm glad to see you go. I do wish you would have said goodbye in person. I was afraid you were dead in a ditch somewhere, drunk on twyrine, when no one could get ahold of you. It was relieving to learn you had just screwed off without warning.
I've moved into my father's home. It's strange having it be so lively. Murky has taken to the room filled with dirt, unfortunately. If you've been in the house, I'm sure you've seen it. I was hoping to get that fixed, but I don't think Murky would take kindly to that. I'm glad she's comfortable, at least.
Sticky has appointed himself as my assistant. He drives Stakh insane with questions when we work. Stakh never was good with kids, so it's hilarious to watch. If not for my presence, I think he would've gone off on Sticky more than once. The kid was sad to see you go. He wanted to learn about your "Capital doctor knowledge." I told him Stakh and I know more than enough, but he insisted you were "cooler" and "knew more." Tough crowd. I think he would've loved to have you here. When he learned who I was writing, he wanted me to ask if you'd send some of your "Capital knowledge."
If you ever decide to return, you will always have a place in the town. Father's My house has more than enough room if the Stillwater is no longer to your liking. It would be nice if we get to meet again.
Artemy Burakh
Artemy,
I didn't expect to receive a response from you. To be frank, I thought the Town-On-Gorkhon had washed its hands of Bachelor Dankovsky. I wouldn't have blamed it. Still, it is nice to hear from you. I miss you the town more than I anticipated. The Capital feels dull in comparison.
I do not know what I expected to find when I returned home. I hoped for it all to be a lie and for Thanatica to still be standing. My apartment was ransacked. The last remnants of my research is gone. Burned. I don't know what to do next, Burakh. There is nothing left.
Again, excuse my rambling and dramatics. I don't exactly have anyone to talk to here with my colleagues all dead or imprisoned. To respond to your letter, I am surprised Sticky remembered me. I hardly had the impression that he held me in high regard. Along with my letter, I've sent some medical journals and texts. I'm not sure if the boy can read, but I am sure you'd be willing to read aloud for him.
I am not surprised that your father's house contains a dirt room. I assume it was meant to be for twyre cultivation? From what I've seen of Murky, twyre or not, she'd certainly enjoy a room like that. Such an odd child. She reminds me of myself at that age. I didn't want to leave her out, so I've sent her a pinned beetle specimen from my own childhood that I believe she'll find interesting.
I have decided to continue my research with my limited resources for now. I am unwelcome in most academic circles due to The Powers That Be and my own… disposition, so I will be on my own. However, I will not give up.
(The next section of the letter looks like it has been rewritten multiple times).
It is relieving to hear that I am still welcome in your home if I ever decide to return to your town. It means more than you can imagine. I hope the children enjoy their gifts. Don't be too upset that I didn't get you anything.
Regards,
Daniil Dankovsky
Daniil,
I wish you could've heard the yell Sticky let out when he got to your gifts. I think he gave everyone in the house hearing loss. He told me to thank you no less than a hundred times. I have spent more time reading medical texts than I ever did in my schooling. Sticky can read, but he gets tripped up on some of the bigger words. He's learning.
Murky loved her present, too. In the time since my previous letter, the house has become home to many different creatures she's brought in. I'm not sure I've gotten them all out with the amount she brings in. I'm glad she feels safe enough to get on my nerves, though. Anyway, she loved the beetle. She stared at it with wide eyes for ages. You've sparked an interest for taxidermy in her. She's asked me many questions I can't answer. She drew her own rendition of the beetle and insisted I attach it to my letter. Don't be too harsh on her artistic abilities. She tried her best. Thank you for the gifts. Truly.
Clara is still in the town, I've learned. I assumed she'd disappear just like the plague. I don't know. Silly me, I guess. I think she was upset when she learned you had left to stay in the Capital. That shocked me, honestly. You have one more person in your corner.
I'm happy you haven't given up on your battle against death. Seeing you after the Polyhedron fell was unsettling. I hope I never see you so despondent and broken down ever again. So stay strong, oynon, because I don't think my heart can take the alternative. A new tower will grow. I promise.
Yours,
Artemy
Dearest Artemy,
Tell Murky I appreciate her drawing. It's lovely, and I've decided to hang it up in my office. Don't talk poorly of the young artist. It's perfect. I have sent more specimens she might be interested in, and I'd love to see more of her art if she's willing.
I knew Sticky would enjoy the literature I sent. You're teaching him well, I hope. Tell him to wack Rubin with one of the heavier books if he's undermining his opinion and curiosity. There's nothing good in discouraging a child so eager and willing to learn. God knows your town needs competent doctors.
I'm shocked by Clara's reaction as well. I was kind to her—surprising, I know—and we conversed a few times, but I never thought I had made any sort of impact on her. Look out for her, will you? She may have the Saburovs, but in my short time knowing them, I can tell they're fickle. It wouldn't be a stretch to assume they would abandon her at a moment's notice.
As for my own life, there's not much to share. I am continuing my research, rebuilding what was lost. I can't remember the last time I've slept. There's so much work to do, and I'm sure The Powers That Be have their eyes on me. The Capital has changed in the short time I've been away. It feels emptier than before. My research is the only thing left for me. I haven't left my apartment in a while, so maybe some sunshine could do me good. I hate to admit it, Artemy, but your words have given me hope. As long as I have your optimism, I believe that apathetic version of me won't return.
Yours,
Daniil
Dear Daniil,
Murky loved her gifts. The moth in particular fascinated her. Its a beautiful insect. She's sent more of her art. She even drew a picture of you. Please, don't get offended by her interpretation of you. She can't show it well, but I can tell she was ecstatic to learn you hung her art up.
Sticky has learned a lot about medicine. He's still more interested in Capital medicine than anything else. I blame your books. He's begging me to get you to visit. I told him that you're busy and have your own things to deal with. He won't take no for an answer, so I hope you visit. Love the kid, but he can be very, very annoying when he wants to be. I think you'd love to see the arguments he gets into with Murky. Also, if you're curious, Sticky did hit Stakh with one of the books you gave him. The look on Rubin's face was priceless.
I'm sure Clara can look after herself, but I've been doing what you asked. She's made the couch her own some nights. I told her she can have a room, but she insists on the couch. I think she's afraid it'll get torn from her without warning. Poor girl.
I can't remember if I told you about him, but I have a pet bull, Noukher. I purchased him the day I returned to the town. You might've met him, but I can't seem to recall. Either way, I've recently given Murky the chore of feeding him everyday as I've become more busy. He'd lost some weight, and I was going crazy, worried that he was sick or something. I then learned that when feeding Noukher was my job, I had accidentally been overfeeding him. Murky had been feeding him the correct, healthy amount, so he lost some weight. She called me stupid when I found out what was going on. I guess I deserved that. Turns out Noukher is a glutton. Greedy little thing.
Keep doing better, kheerkhen, and stay safe. And please, get some rest and fresh air. You're useful to no one if you're exhausted.
With love,
Artemy
Dearest Artemy,
Glad the kids are doing well. Glad you're doing well, too. Again, I will treasure Murky's art. I've actually designated a section of my office wall for her art. It seems I'm the first collector of what is certain to be a skilled artist. Her depiction of me is wonderful. It is certainly the best picture anyone has ever drawn of me. Murky was also correct in her judgment about your treatment of the bull. I'll have to meet Noukher if I visit. You would overfeed the thing.
What does "kheerkhen" mean? I know it means something in the Kin's language, but I can't ascertain what exactly. I had picked up a few words from my short time near the Kin, but I can't say I've ever heard that one before. I do hope you're not calling me a prick, but I'd understand if you were. I am the first to admit I am not the kindest person. Either way, may I call you Tyoma?
I am afraid I've hit a wall with my research. Well, most of my life's work has consisted of hitting unsurpassable walls, but this is a different kind of wall. I don't have access to the resources I had when I had my Thanatica, and even if I did, I doubt I could use them without discovery. It's difficult to go from having everything to having nothing. It makes me realize how small my life really was now that its all gone.
I have a confession, Tyoma. I cannot stand the Capital. I'm sure this comes as a surprise. Bachelor Dankovsky, the Capital dandy, hating the very place he's from? But it's not hard to hate. I wish it didn't exist. Everything is about appearances and getting ahead and the Inquisition. My distaste has been lifelong, but experiencing your town has only reinforced my beliefs. For all my qualms, I felt more comfortable speaking with people of your town than I ever did with those from the Capital, and most of the townsfolk hated me. The longer I stay in the Capital, the more I hate it.
Regardless, I did manage some rest at your insistence. I find it difficult to say no to you. You're a very convincing person, Burakh. I even took a walk, though I wouldn't describe the Capital air as "fresh." I went on my walk yesterday evening. I looked up at the stars and wondered if you were looking at them as well. The stars are brighter when viewed from the steppe, I'm sure. I regret never paying much attention to them before. I'm sure you'll view them enough for the both of us.
Things would be easier if you were here, Tyoma. Reading your responses always make my day, and waiting for the next one keeps me going.
Always yours,
Daniil
My Dear Daniil,
You can call me Tyoma as long as I'm allowed to call you Danya. As for what kheerkhen means, that's a mystery you'll have to solve yourself.
Don't worry too much about your research. You're a smart man, Danya. I'm sure you'll break down that wall. I believe in you. If the Capital is an obstacle, my home will always be open to you. Just so you know, I hate the Capital, too. It's miserable.
I've danced around it enough. I miss you. It's strange, really. You haven't been in my life for long, yet the impact you made was immense. It's hard to believe and was even harder to accept. What was it you said when we first met? That we are the left and right hand, realizing we are a part of a whole? I believe you were right. I know we have had our differences, but I believe our meeting was meant to happen. Our Lines are so gracefully, so beautifully intertwined, kheerkhen.
Murky caught me writing this. I must've been grinning like an idiot since she called me stupid again. She isn't the only one who's called me an idiot as of late. It's your fault. I miss you.
Love,
Tyoma
Dearest Tyoma,
I am not the greatest at expressing my emotions, so I apologize if anything sounds disjointed or hard to understand. It didn't hit me how much I missed you until I read your feelings. I am a fool to not have realized. I would blame it on you, but I have never been comfortable with matters of the heart.
I miss our conversations, both civil and argumentative. I've conversed with many different people throughout my life as especially through my career, but I've never met someone quite like you. As much as our correspondence means to me, it's not the same as our face-to-face interactions. I don't have the pleasure of seeing that stupid twitch of your lips when you try to infuriate me, trying not to smile. I can't see your face as I infuriate you.
You were the highlight in the nightmare that was the Sand Pest. I am obviously not pleased that a plague happened, but I am incredibly thankful that it brought us together. I doubt we would have met otherwise. It's ironic how such a deadly disease made me feel more alive than I have in years.
The longer I am apart from you, the more I break down. It's not like I need to be in the Capital for my work. I find my hatred for it growing more by the day.
I can't say I'll ever understand the Lines, but I have no doubt that ours are as lovely as you say. I miss you, Artemy Burakh.
Yours, forever and always,
Danya
My Danya,
Words are not my strong suit. I can't talk or write for ages like you can. These responses are always difficult for me to write. I think with my heart, yet my heart is incapable of putting pen to paper.
I see you in everything. I mention you as I work alongside Stakh and Sticky. Sticky has started a counter for how many times you're mentioned, and Stakh is about to throttle me with how much your name leaves my mouth. Lara has called me an idiot more times than I can count, and Grief just makes fun of me. I cannot even cook without imagining you at the table, waiting for it to be done as we talk about nothing important.
I want to wake up with you by my side. I want to see you teach Sticky about medicine and Murky about insects and preserving them. I want to rest my head on your shoulder as we watch the sunset. I want to kiss you senseless. I want you to kiss me senseless. I want to hold you. I want you.
Come home, Daniil. Please.
Your Tyoma
Tyoma,
I'm taking the next train. Wait for me.
Danya
And when the next train arrived, Daniil stepped onto the platform and immediately fell into Artemy's arms.
"You're home."
"I'm home."