Archive of Our Own

Grace thinks a lot. That's apparently obvious; he's been an over thinker for as long as he can remember. He doesn't know why he does, but he has a tendency to just stare off onto the beach of Erid and think. The crash of the waves and the smell of the salt in the air had made this the ripe time for thinking. His current train of thought was turning rather dark. Grace thought of death. He knew that death was part of life. Grace wasn't a stranger to it either. When the lab blew up back on Earth and had wiped the science team, there was the task of managing funerals and contacting the families. 

There was also the Hail Mary. When Grace woke to find Yao and Ilyukhina deceased, Grace had to send their bodies to the stars. It was somewhat comforting knowing that his fellow crewmates would be part of the stars, their souls guarding the universe. It had Grace wondering; what's going to happen when he dies? What will Rocky do? What will Simon do? It's a beyond scary thought to know that one of two humans is going to end up alone, with another human being light years away. It sends an unwanted chill down Graces spine. He doesn't know why he's thinking about this. 

Hands on Grace's waist pulls him from his train of thought, scaring him half to death. He gasps, hearing a sly, deep chuckle come from behind as there's now a head resting on Grace's shoulder. Grace lets out a breathy chuckle, letting his heart settle back down. "You scared me half to death, Simon." Grace looks at the man out of the corner of his eye and smiles softly. He can make out the cheeky grin that's been plastered onto the dark haired mans face. Grace giggles as Simon shifts his chin into the crook of Graces neck, the stubble of his beard tickling him.

"That was my intention, angel," He say, voice low. He presses a kiss on Graces neck, continuing to rest his head. Both men stare out the window and out towards the beach, letting only the mute crash of the waves fill the house. They both enjoy the silence. It's been a year and half since Simon has arrived on Erid. The two men both know it's taken some time to get here. The first few months were hell with Simon acting more like a stray cat for the first two to three months. After that, it was relatively smooth sailing. Simon and Grace fell into a routine. 

They fell into something more, actually. They fell in love. Grace fell first. Simon fell harder. And Simon did not fall with elegance. The man is head over heels for his partner. Aside from his mother, Grace is the only person to show him kindness. Simon picked up multiple hobbies just to give gifts to Grace. He went so far as to learn Eridian with Adrian just so he could understand what Rocky was talking about. It helped tremendously. Not only was Simon able to understand Rocky, but he could understand what Grace would respond with sometimes. Grace was rather fluent after spending a few years on Erid. 

It's where Simon had learned that Grace had actually liked him and was in love. That day, Simon thought his head would going to explode. He thought he was dreaming and was so excited that he had managed to practically summon Adrian and tell them the good news. Grace, on the other hand was rather oblivious to Simon's efforts. For example, prior to hi learning Eridian, Simon had spent days create a flower bouquet out of xenonite. It was beautiful. Rocky was impressed with Simon's work, telling him that Grace was going to love it. Simon kept the translator on as to not be suspicious. "Is courting gifting for Grace, question?" Rocky had asked as Grace was away teaching class. Simon face palmed, too embarrassed to answer that question. 

When Simon did give the bouquet Grace, Grace lost his mind. He adored the hell out of the gift, bewildered at the incredible craftsmanship that Simon had. Simon thought he had done something wrong after that, because Grace wouldn't stay in the same area as Simon for long. In reality, Grace was so flustered and so in love with the man that he couldn't think straight. He would also turn bright red and absolutely refused to let Simon see him like that. Simon was then reassured by Adrian that nothing bad had happened at the Grace was so embarrassed each time Simon was in the room. That made more sense. 

When the two had finally confessed, it was Grace who had gone first. Simon recalls Grace turning the brightest shade of red possible and nearly crying as he tried to get his feelings out. The shock that was plastered on Grace's face right after Simon had kissed him, following it with a confession of his love, was priceless. Simon wishes he had a photo so he could frame it. Grace cried happy tears after it had processed within his mind. 

"I thought you would say no!" he babbled, trying his hardest to wipe his tears and stop ugly crying. 

"Grace," Simon laughs, wiping the tears off the blondes face, "I have been driving myself mad trying to make it obvious that I love you." 

"What?" Grace stared wide eyed. 

"Why do you think I spent days creating that bouquet for you? I needed it to be perfect. And then you didn't want to be in the same room as me but now I know why," Simon shrugged, smiling awkwardly. Grace sobbed. He ugly sobbed. Both out of relief and guilt for making Simon feel that way. It took a bit for Simon to calm Grace down, but nonetheless, he did settle down eventually. 

Simon was the one who had broke the silence first. "Whatcha doing all the way over here?" 

"Just thinking," Grace replies, humming softly as Simon places soft kisses on his neck. 

"About?" Simon mumbles, earning a giggle from the blonde. Grace settles down before he lets his thoughts spill from his lips. "Death," He winces as it leaves his mouth. Simon pauses, moving his face away from Graces neck before taking a seat right in front of Grace. He gets a good look at Simon. The teeth that are jutting out from the side of his face and the white streaks that run throughout his hair. The skin on Simon's left is burned, leaving scars in its wake. Grace watches the flare of Simon's gills with each breath he takes, noticing the shine of Simon's blind eye. 

"Angel?" Simon calls out, his eyebrows furrowed into a face of concern. 

"Yes, Si?" Grace braces himself for the question he's about to get. 

"Why are you thinking of death?" Simon watches Grace find an answer. 

"I don't know." 

"You don't know?"

"I'm an over thinker, Si." 

"Well, duh. We knew that. Did something happen?"

"No." 

"Lies." 

"I was just thinking! I don't know!" 

"So you just happened to be thinking about death?"

"Si, this is going no where." 

"Well, it's gonna stay here until you answer."

"Why?" 

"Because you can't just say, 'oh yeah I'm thinking about death for no reason at all!' and then expect everything to be sunshine and rainbows!" 

"You've never even seen a rainbow." 

"Don't change the topic." 

"Boo."

"Why are you thinking about death?" Simon presses. Grace shifts in his seat. He knows why but he doesn't want to tell Simon. Grace is afraid of death. He always has been. He was supposed to die alone out here, light years away from Earth. To be honest, he had made peace with that. When Simon showed up, it had changed everything. Grace was old. Simon was younger than him by a decent chunk. Grace knew that he'd most likely be the first to go when they both got older. He couldn't bare the thought of leaving Simon alone. That thought alone scares him so bad, tears prick in the corners of his eyes. 

"I'm scared," Grace mutters out, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his cardigan. 

Simon is now thoroughly worried. "About what, angel?" 

"I'm older than you," he starts, "and you're younger by a decent bit." 

"Okay?" Simon's face turns as he can see where this is going.

"What if I die first? What if I leave you alone here? I don't want that for you!" Grace cries softly, feeling his world shrinking.

"Angel," Simon soothes, gently cupping Grace's face. "Don't say that." 

"But it's true!" Grace replies, raising his voice through his tears. "I don't want to do that to you!" 

Simon pulls Grace into his chest, letting Grace cry into his shirt. "You know what I think?" Grace hums an answer and Simon continues, "I think we'll go around the same time." 

Grace looks up at the man, his eyes big and wet with tears. "What?" 

"I think we'll go around the same time," he repeats. 

"What makes you say that?" Graces asks. 

"You're my soulmate. Soulmates tend to copy each other," Simon says. He tenderly strokes the messy blonde locks on Rylands head. Grace is rather satisfied with that answer.

"You really think so?" he asks. 

"Positive." 

It's now late in the night. Grace has spent the rest of the day preparing for his class tomorrow with the pebbles. He feels better after him and Simon spoke about death. It still kind of irks him, but he does feel like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. Simon spent the rest of the day gardening and fixing things around the house. Most of the time, it's little things. Usually things that makes life a little easier for both of them. Grace loves watching Simon work on his trinkets. He's got stellar craftsmanship. It makes Grace slightly jealous. 

As Simon is getting ready for bed, Grace notices something. He is very much aware of the scars on Simon's left side. Grace knows that Simon took a while to get used to them and to be comfortable enough to let Grace trace them with his fingers. Ryland looks at the scars and swears up and down that they've gotten bigger. Grace stares and Simon can feel his gaze. 

"What's wrong?" Simon asks, "Do I have something on my side?"

"Has your scar gotten bigger?" Grace replies. 

"Uhhh I'm not sure." 

"It's looks like it's gotten bigger." 

"Really?" 

"Mhm." 

"Maybe it's a lack of sleep?"

"It could be," Grace shrugs. The two men settle in bed for the night, their chests facing each other. Grace gently traces the scars on Simon's chest, causing the other man to shudder. The blonde retracts his hand slightly, glancing up at Simon. "Did I hurt you?" 

Simon lets loose a low chuckle. "No, your hands are freezing." 

"Oh, sorry," Grace hums. 

"Don't be," Simon replies, taking the mans hand and placing it back on his chest. "I run warm anyways." 

"That, you do," Grace says, his voice sounding slightly distant. It's a tone that's distinct. Simon knows it all too well. He knows that when Grace has that tone, something is bothering him. 

"Grace?" Simon calls, voice rather sleepy. 

"Mhm?" Grace answers.

"Spill it."

"What?"

"I know something is on your mind."

"Nope. I don't know what your talking about." 

"Lies!"

"Nooope!"

"C'mon, Grace," Simon says, staring deep within the vast sea of blue. "I know when something is bothering you." Grace sighs. He's been caught. Simon's right. He does know him too well. Grace is honestly a little afraid to tell Simon. They've had a rather sad conversation earlier and Grace doesn't want to make the conversation uncomfortable. A gentle squeeze on Grace's hand pulls him from his mind. Simon stares at him, slightly concerned. 

"Do you really wanna know?" Grace asks, his face getting hot. 

"Of course, angel," Simon answers. 

"There's a saying back on earth," Grace begins, Simon listening intently, "and it goes something along the lines of 'when I die and the bugs eat my heart, they'll taste,' and then you're supposed to list what the bugs will taste." 

Simon is confused, unsure of what to say. What he does say is; "Well, won't they just taste flesh?" Grace giggles, forgetting that he forgot to explain a key section. Simon is a little flustered, smirking as he watches Grace get his giggles out. "What's so funny?" 

"I forgot to explain one more thing," Grace chuckles.

"Rude," Simon playfully huffs as he gently pushes Grace, "What'd you forget to explain?" 

"The taste in question is emotions."

"Ohhh." 

"Like sadness, happiness, anger, you know, all that fun stuff." 

"It's not really fun." 

"Well, duh, but that's the saying." 

"So why are you thinking of this?" 

"I'm just curious to know what emotions I'd be remembered by." 

Simon breaks eye contact and ponders that question for a bit. Grace can see the gears turning in his head as he tries to form answers. It takes a bit for Simon to find the wording but when he does, he tells Grace what he thinks. 

"Well," he starts, Grace listening closely, "When you die and the bugs are eating your heart, I think they'll taste the fear." 

"Fear?" Grace is a little taken aback.

"Let me explain," Simon responds, placing a quick peck on Graces forehead.

"Okay, okay," Grace snickers. 

"The fear of waking up alone and in space." 

"Ah."

"The bugs will also taste the panic that came with carrying on a mission solo. The worry that came with finding life. The terror when you realized you're best friend could die in space and they'll certainly taste the loneliness that you experienced for sometime." 

"Wow, don't you have a way with words."

"I'm not done yet. Maybe the bugs will taste how impatient you are." 

"Rude."

"Not rude if it's true."

"You're an ass."

"I try," Simon laughs as Grace resigns. Grace cracks a small smile, which goes unnoticed by Simon as he's too busy laughing. 

"Well, carry on, man of many words," Grace teases. 

"As I was saying," Simon grins at the blonde as he moves forward, "But beneath all of that, there's more."

"Like a hard shell and soft inside?"

"Exactly like that." 

"Oh, pray tell? What is the soft inside?" 

"Beneath the hard exterior, the bugs will first taste how smart you are. They'll feast on all the knowledge that you've acquired over the years." 

"Oh, hush. I'm not that smart."

"Need I remind you that you're a doctor?"

"In science."

"Still a doctor." 

"Bleh, whatever." 

"The bugs will then find the kindness and how caring you are. They'll find it's sickeningly sweet."

"You flatter me," Grace is starting to blush. Simon can see it and it makes him proud. 

"I aim to please," Simon hums, "But there's more." 

"Oh?" Grace cocks an eyebrow up, eager to hear what else Simon has to offer. 

"The bugs will be accompanied by the taste of bravery, for managing to save the stars. They'll find hints of sadness, that'll quickly get washed away by the joy that you bring when you enter a room. They'll taste how nerdy you are, probably laughing at the various shirts you have with puns. The bugs might also find great joy in the amount of loyalty that you have. Not just to friends, but to the ones that you love." 

Simon's speech is bringing tears to Graces eyes. He thinks he's going to cry with how sweet Simon is being. Simon notices and quickly wipes the lone tear that's settled into the corner of one of the blondes eyes. "But above all," Simon smiles sweetly at the man, "They'll taste all the love that is in your heart. They'll know to save the best for last." Grace starts crying again at Simon's words as Simon squeezes him gently. He loves how sweet Simon is. He really is the best partner that someone could ask for. 

"You're too good to me," Grace clears his throat, letting the last of his cries subside. 

"It's the least I can do, you saved my life," Simon shrugs. 

"Anyone with a brain and heart would've saved you," Grace retorts. 

"Everyone back where I'm from had a heart and brain and they didn't even so much as look my way. They lacked the kindness and caring nature that you have." Grace squeals as Simon beard tickles his neck with a kiss. The snickers and small squeals that come from Grace are music to Simon's ears. 

As the two finally settle down, Simon begins to think. Grace can tell. "What's wrong, Simon?" Grace asks.

"What about me?" Simon says in response. 

"What?"

"When the bugs are eating my heart, what will it taste like?" 

Ah. There it is. Grace has to take a few minutes to find his footing and describe it to Simon. Simon, perfect as always, is willing to wait. He nests his face into the crook of Graces neck once more, moving slightly to distract him from his thoughts. 

"Quit that ya little shit!" Grace laughs, nuzzling his head into Simon's inky hair. Simon chuckles, knowing full well what he's doing. He lives for these moments, never waiting them to end. 

"Am I not allowed to rest my head here?" Simon teases. He snickers as Graces stares him down and stops when he's whacked with a pillow. "Ack!" Simon exclaims as a barrage of small whacks comes down Grace, whose laughing like mad man. Simon fights back, which then turns into a small pillow fight. It's like the two men are children, laughing and giggling like it's sleepover. After some time, the two finally stop hitting each other, snickering, as they lay back down. 

"You are something else, Ryland Grace," Simon sighs, locking eyes with Grace. 

"I'm your something," Grace giggles nesting himself close to Simon chest. 

"That, you are." Simon places a quick peck atop of Graces messy tufts of hair. "Now, are you going to tell me what the bugs will taste?" 

"Of course I will." 

"Well, then, hop too!"

"I'm going! So impatient."

"You're lucky I love you."

"I know." 

"Well?" 

Graces gathers his words for a brief moment, gently tracing the scars on Simon's chest. He takes a deep breath and finally begins. "When you die and the bugs are eating your heart, they'll first be met with the overwhelming amount of fear. Fear that's been festering for some time. After the fear, they'll find the flavor of guilt," Grace says. Simon bits his tongue. He doesn't like to think about it and has definitely come a long way from feeling that crushing guilt he used to feel daily. But it's true. The guilt still lurks within the deepest corners of his mind. 

"Wow, what a way with words," Simon mutters, feeling a little off put. 

"Sorry," Grace apologizes, feeling acute regret for speaking of the one thing that Simon had been trying to move past. Simon shakes his head. "Don't apologize. I asked." 

Graces smiles and continues with his speech. "Past the fear and guilt, the bugs will also taste the swelling rage for being betrayed and lied to. They'll understand why you're so scared because they'll find the betrayal that you endured for so long." It's true. Simon has endured so much over the years, that he hadn't the slightest clue who he could trust. It took months for him to fully trust Grace. He lashed out like a scared dog, unsure of what to do or where to go. Was he to clench his fists and bare his teeth? Was he to submit and be subjected to another form of betrayal? Those first few months were a storm of emotions. 

Grace furthers in his talk. "And past the rage, the bugs will also find the sadness. It comes from the fact that you haven't been able to be you for quite some time. The ideas that you once had have been snuffed out like a stray flame. But, behind the hard and bitter shell, the bugs will find the soft and gooey inside that they've been craving."

Simon perks up, eager to hear this. Grace lets out a suppressed laugh, seeing Simon's eyes light up with excitement. "Excited?" 

"Very," Simon smirks, "I'm curious to know what you have to say." 

Grace takes a deep breath in and moves forward. "The bugs will first be met with how gentle you are. How gentle you are with the garden plants. How tenderly you care for me when I'm not feeling well. They'll learned that you've always been kind and considerate. The bugs will also taste how well you listen. They'll understand the meaning of your name because of it. They can also find the hint of loyalty. When they do find it, they will realize that you are so loyal to those that you love, you'd do anything to defend them." Grace glides his fingers on Simon's chest and ever so sweetly takes Simon's hand in his, interlocking their fingers. 

Simon stares at him as he listens to him finish his speech. "But above, the bugs will taste your love. They'll dine on the fact that you love with all your will, with some even believing that you love with everything that you have been." As Graces ends his speech, he can see the wetness of Simon's eyes as he tries to bite back tears. He tenderly cups the mans faces, who presses himself further into Graces palm. "You okay?" 

Simon sighs, laughing slightly. "Yeah, I'm good." Grace wipes the tears that have started to spill out, still cradling the other mans face. "You're just too good to me, Ryland." 

"I try," Grace says. 

"No, you don't," Simon replies, which confusing grace before Simon continues with, "You don't try. You just do it flawlessly."

"Well, I wouldn't say flawlessly," Grace rolls his eyes, smirking slightly.

"Then what would you call it?" 

"I would call it pure charm- ack! Simon!" Grace snorts as Simon catches him off guard with a flurry of kiss to the neck. Simon lets out a low laugh, tickling the blonde even more. When the two finally relax after a few minutes, Simon presses Grace close to him, locking eyes as they kiss. It's not lustful, but one that's filled with love. The same love that the bugs will find within both of their hearts when they die. Graces pulls away and gazes at the dark voids that are Simon's eyes. 

"I love you, Simon," Grace says softly.

"I love you too, Ryland," Simon replies, finally letting sleep take over. The two fall asleep in each others embrace, listening to each others heartbeat with the distant crash of waves overtop as a blanket of white noise. 

The following morning should've been like every other morning. The two wake up, they have breakfast, take a walk in the garden as Simon proudly displays his plants and Simon sees Grace off to class. That's been the routine for months now. When Grace's alarm went off each morning, He'd find that Simon was already out of bed, cooking breakfast just as Grace had showed him. This morning, Grace awoke to find that Simon was still sound asleep. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Simon to sleep in. He'd done it a few times. 

What was scaring Grace was that Simon was dead asleep. He was snoring. Simon never snored. As a matter a fact, he was the lightest sleeper that Grace had ever known. He'd wake up if Grace had shifted or had gotten up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Grace would almost always return to find Simon staring at him, the light of the artificial stars barely illuminating his face. Grace would sometimes have to spend a bit soothing Simon back to bed. He didn't mind it.

As Grace gently rubbed Simon's shoulder to wake him, he noticed that Simon was scowling in his sleep. His eyebrows were tightly knit, his mouth pulled into a thin line. It was face that he had made if he was in pain. Grace was disturbed. This wasn't like Simon. Grace's anxiety started to grow even more when Simon had taken nearly five minutes to wake. "Simon," Grace called out for nearly the tenth time in a row. Simon hummed, low and not wanting to be disturbed from his rest. "Si, you have to get up."

"No," he answered, sounding pained.

"Why not?" Grace asked. 

"It hurts," Simon grumbled, wincing at the slight movement he was making. 

"What hurts?" Graces furthered. 

"My joints. They're on fire." Simon moans in pain as he tries to stretch, bringing tears to his eyes with how much it had hurt. "What the fuck?" he groans. 

Grace gently removes the blankets off Simon and assesses his partner. Simon is slightly scrunched up and barely moving, aside from the slow rise and fall of his chest. His joints look… fine. I mean, there's no visible swelling or redness to be seen. Grace was gentle when he placed a hand on Simon's knee. He winced, looking down at Grace. "The cold," he starts, "It feels nice." 

"Your knees burn that bad?" Grace cocked his head slightly as he asked. 

"Yeah. It's terrible," Simon answers, letting out a pained exhale. 

"I'm gonna try something," Grace says. Simon gives Grace wide, unsure eyes. "Just trust me, okay?"

"Okay," Simon replies. His voice is small and truth be told, scared. Grace takes his hand and very slowly, hinges Simon's lower leg. The reaction is instant. Simon yells into the pillow, screaming a list of obscenities in pain. Grace scrunches his face as he hinges Simon's leg the other way. The same thing happens, but this time Simon starts begging for Grace to stop. 

"What the fuck?!" Simon cries out, trying to regulate his breathing. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" 

Class is canceled for the day. Grace sent the message to Rocky right after he had hinged Simon's lower leg. The blonde spends the rest of the morning helping Simon, who had insisted that he could do it on his own. Grace retorted that maybe the bugs would also taste how painfully stubborn Simon was, to which Simon snickers, before doubling down in pain. The only thing that had seemed to help was a bath. More specifically, a cold bath. The cold soothed Simon's joints, making Graces joint exercises bearable to an extent. 

Simon clenched the nearby blanket and squeezed his jaw shut, hissing a drawn out, "Fuck!" through his teeth. 

"Sorry, I know," Grace winces. "Sorry, sorry, sorry." 

"It's not your fault, angel," Simon answers, panting as Graces gently massages his shoulder. "I don't know what happened." 

Grace shakes his head, unsure of what it could be. "I mean, it could be gravity. Erid's gravity is twice as heavy as Earths."

Simon hissed a little more as Graces works his was up to his trapezius muscle, gently grinding his knuckles into the muscle to pull out whatever knot was there. "Wouldn't I have felt this sooner?"

Grace thinks for a bit. Simon is right; it'd be a gradual effect rather and a random day sort of thing. "Yeah, you're right," Grace admits. "How are you feeling?" 

Simon shrugs. "I've been better, but the pain starting to subside. It's still there, just not nearly as bad as before." 

Grace smiles softly, plants a quick kiss into Simon's nape, earning a respectful jolt from the dark haired man. Simon groans softly at sudden movement, but when he feels Graces arms wrap around his waist, he melts. Simon fully leans into Graces embrace and locks eyes with his love. "Hello," he chuckles as he stares at Grace. 

"Hi," Grace replies as he tenderly traces the scars on his face. 

"Am I gonna be okay, Grace?" Simon asks. It's a fair question, to be honest. How else is one supposed to react when they wake up in excruciating pain for no apparent reason? Grace doesn't want to scare Simon but he also doesn't know what this is. He can only hope that it's a one time thing. 

"Yeah," Grace answers, "yeah you're gonna be just fine."

"Okay," Simon sighs. "I trust you." 

The next couple of days are okay. Simon is sore, but he can still move like normal. Grace is beyond thrilled, believing that it was, in fact, a one time thing. The two wake up, they have breakfast, take a walk in the garden, and Simon sees Grace off to class. They love their routine. It's perfect. And once again, that perfect routine is thrown to the wolves. About a week and half after the first incident, Simon wakes up in excruciating pain. Worse than before. It's 2:45 in the morning. Grace is fast asleep and Simon is crying quietly as to not disturb Grace. 

Simon doesn't like to cry. He really doesn't. Part of that is from how he grew up, but also that's just how he is. This pain, however? It completely warrants the crying. The tears are hot and with each shudder he lets out as he cries, his body screams. It feels like he has dull nails being hammered into his bones with even the smallest movements. Next to getting his arm ripped off, this is one of the worst things he's ever felt in his life. 

As Simon cries, trying to fight through the pain and fall back asleep, he wakes up Grace. He doesn't notice it at first, but Grace is silent, making sure that he is hearing everything right and this isn't just a dream. Yup. Simon is crying. A pit forms in Grace's stomach. He knows that Simon doesn't like crying. It could be a nightmare. But then again, Simon would've been talking in his sleep. It's one of the telltale signs that Simon is having a nightmare. The other thing that Grace can notice is the cry. The tone, to be exact, isn't the same tone Simon has after a nightmare.

It's a strange thing to know; how to tell the difference in your partners cries. But when you've handled countless nightmares over the past year and a half, you get a knack for figuring out which is which. After what seems like a good chunk of time, Grace finally calls out to Simon. Simon locks in place, shuddering and whimpering at the pain. 

"Simon?" Grace calls again. 

"What?" Simon mutters. 

"What's wrong?" Grace questions. Simon hesitates, unsure if he should tell Grace as to not worry him. He caves and tells him, knowing that Grace will help him no matter what. 

"The pain," he fights through the tears. 

"It's back?" Graces replied. 

"Yeah, it's worse, too." 

"Okay, hang on." Grace rolls over and switches the lamp on, bringing a warm friendly light into the room. Grace is ready to start the same process again, but when he goes to assess his partners condition, he notices something. Simon always falls asleep shirtless so it's rather easy to see. Simon's scar has gotten bigger. Like, nearly an inch bigger. It's alarming, considering the fact that Grace had seen it the other night before they had fallen asleep. Even then, he was able to see that it was bigger. 

"Your scar has gotten bigger," Grace states. 

"There's no way," Simon shudders. He glances down at his abdomen and for a few seconds. The warm light of the lamp, he's able to see that Grace is right. The scar is bigger. He quivers in pain and fear, starting to worry about what it could be. The pain is pulling him from his train of thought. It's impossible for Simon to think when it feels like his body is being set ablaze. 

"Grace," Simon croaks.

"Yes, Si?" Grace is quick to respond, ready to help in anyway he can. 

"Can we try some ice packs to help with the pain?" He grunts as he shifts slightly, taking a few moments to gather his next sentence through the pain. "It's too much." Simon's voice is barely a whisper at this point. Grace doesn't hesitate to get some ice packs for Simon. He can hear his love attempting to keep his groaning low, failing miserably at it. Grace knows this is bad. This is extremely bad. Simon has been through a lot. He had his arm practically ripped off him. For his to be in this much pain and crying over it, was an absolute gut punch to say the least. Simon is definitely one of the toughest people that Grace has ever known. 

But Simon is not just tough. He's tough for those that he loves. Simon is a complete goofball at heart. It took Grace a while to get him to come out of his shell. When Grace did manage to get the guy to break out of his shell, he was so shocked to see just how cheeky Simon truly was. It was also shocking to see how kind and gentle he was. There had been more than one occasion that Grace had walked into the garden to see that Simon was hand pollinating the plants. It was adorable, truth be told. 

The ice packs seemed to make a slight difference. Simon was still in pain, but not as bad as before. Grace was dead tired but he wouldn't rest until he managed lower Simon's pain. He was now researching the various ways that one could lower pain like this. "We could try pain meds," the blonde had merely suggested. Simon shot him a look as if he had stomped on his prized garden plants. Grace was baffled as to why he was receiving a look of such disdain. "What?" 

"I am not letting you waste resources on me," Simon protested. 

"We can make more!" Grace argued, staying calm. "The Eridians can always synthesize-"

"Grace, I am not letting you waste your fucking materials on me! There's no need!" Simon regrets saying that. more specifically, "there's no need" was one of the worst thing that Simon could have said in that moment. In a second, Graces calm and collected nature had turned into a storm of fury. His eyebrows knit together tightly as he slammed his laptop down, pausing all the research he was doing for Simon. 

"I don't give a shit what you want right now. I need you to not be in pain and obviously the ice isn't helping so we are going to try some meds as a temporary fix, okay?" Grace raised his voice, not exactly yelling, but loud enough to get his point across. Simon stay quiet, watching the mans anger come out. "Armando will give an appropriate dose of pain medication to keep you from waking up and then when the morning comes, we will figure it out. If you look at me and tell me that 'It's a waste, I don't need it!' So help me, you will have hell to pay with me, understand?" Simon nodded rather quickly. He knew that he had screwed up. Big time. 

"Good. And quit saying it's a waste. We can always make more. You don't have to feel like we're wasting materials on you," Grace tacked on at the end.

Simon fell even harder for Grace right then and there. He did as he was told and took the pill that was from Armando. Grace, being the angel that Simon had always believed he was, helped Simon. He just held the water cup for him as he swallowed the pill, but to Simon? It meant the world to him that Grace had been this patient with a man as stubborn as him. "You're an angel," Simon sighed, laying his head back. 

"Don't lie, I just yelled at you," Grace huffed smirking slightly.

"Which was hot," Simon teased. Even if he was in excruciating pain, Simon would always find a way to tease Grace just to see the red come to the surface. Simon chuckles, groaning in pain that was caused by said chuckling. 

"Whatever," Grace scoffed, turning away as to not let Simon see. 

Simon hummed a small laugh, proud he was able to flustered Grace, even in this state. "I love you, Ryland." 

"I love you too, Simon." 

The meds helped. It became part of their routine. Grace would wake up along aside Simon who was in pain until he took his meds. Then the morning carried on as always. A simple adjustment that Grace wished would've stayed. Oh, how he wished thing stayed the same. When Simon had started waking up and saying he wasn't in pain, Grace was skeptical. He started to believe Simon when he had returned to moving normally and had even cooked breakfast a few times. Grace had hope. He had hope that Simon actually was better and that it was just a freak thing that had happened a couple times. 

That was a conversation that had to be held; What was the next step if the pain returned? What then? Simon didn't want to have it, Grace knew that. "You know," Grace started. Simon knew where it was going before Grace had even continued. "If the pain comes back, we're going to have to tell Rocky and Adrian." 

Simon shook his head. "That's not necessary," Simon answered, snapping on his prosthetic. Grace gave a deadpan look to Simon that argues otherwise. 

"It is necessary," Grace spoke, "And it's necessary because that scar of yours is getting bigger. Its nearing your other eye." 

"So?" Simon shrugged, annoyed that this was even a conversation. 

"Do not 'so?' me right now," Grace nearly slammed his coffee mug down, "I am merely trying to make sure that you are accounted for and taken care of. Don't be stubborn with me." 

Simon opened his mouth to argue but quickly closed it, placing his lips into a pressed thin line. He knew Grace was right. Simon didn't want to think about what could be going on with him. It was scary. Simon hadn't been scared like this since his so-called expedition. "Okay," Simon nodded, "Okay, we'll tell Rocky and Adrian if it comes back."

"Thank you," Grace sighed, pleased with the answer Simon had given.

Simon walked over to Grace, cupping his face gently with his prosthesis. The cool xeononite felt comforting on Grace cheek, who was leaning into the touch. "No, thank you for being like this with me," Simon smiled sweetly. Grace shook his head, smirking and chuckling softly. "Someone has to," Grace answered, his lips parting as Simon leaned in for a kiss. It was soft and tender, with Simon deepening it and stretching it out bit by bit. When Grace had pulled away, Simon actually pouted. it was rather endearing to see how much Simon truly loved this man. 

"Why?" Simon whined, "Why must you pull away?"

"Because I have a class to teach," Grace chuckled as he packed the laptop into his bag. He gasped and giggled as he felt Simon's arms wrap around his chest. 

"You can be a few minutes late," Simon shrugged, taking in Graces scent. 

"I most certainly cannot."

"Are you being paid?" 

"No?"

"Then you can be late by a few minutes!"

"Nope!"

"I hate you."

"You know you don't."

"Well, yes, but right now you're being rude."

"Oh, pray tell? How so?" 

"Because you won't be late to class for me."

"Oh no, how rude of me! Whatever will I do?" 

"Stay with me and be late by five minutes?"

"In your dreams lover boy," Grace spun around in Simon's grasp and placed a kiss on Simon's cheek, the stubble tickling his face, earning a pleased low chuckle from the man. 

"I'll see you when I get home, okay?" Grace said, scratching the back of the mans head lovingly. 

"Mhm," Simon had replied, leaning into the touch.  He places one final kiss into the palm of Graces hand. A light red dusting of blush find it's place on Graces cheeks and ears. He is so madly in love with Simon, it's not even funny. But good things never last forever it seems and Grace wished he would've been late by five minutes that day. 

Class went on as usual that day and at one point, Grace had assigned for the class to talk amongst themselves to share some ideas for their topic they were learning. It was a rather simple topic, but Grace didn't remember it. How could he remember it after what had happened that day? As the pebbles were talking with each other, Grace glanced over to the house and he had seen Simon walking up to the garden. He laughed as he saw Simon waving to him before he entered and disappeared. 

When class had ended, Grace made his way back as usual. The first thing that Grace had noticed as he began to walk up to the front door was the smell. Normally, Simon would be cooking dinner. Grace would always smell it. There was no smell this time around. It's okay, Simon probably just took a nap. He was sure everything was fine. After all, he had been okay this morning. As he pushed the front door open, he realized that the house was exactly the way he had left. The coffee mugs that both men had from the morning were still on the table, with the same small amount of now cold coffee sitting inside. 

That was unlike Simon. He had been the tidy one and had always cleaned the house when Grace left for class. The nagging feeling that something as wrong began to settle in. If Simon was napping, the sound of the door would've woken him. He was a light sleeper. He was nowhere to be found. Grace began to search for Simon. He checked every room, every nook and cranny, with no avail. Grace even rushed to the bottom of the stairs to Simon's workshop. Nothing. The same work in progress sat on Simon's table. Where the hell was… 

The garden. 

Grace hadn't checked the garden. Adrenaline had surged all through Grace veins as he sprinted up the steps and burst into the garden. He felt his body run cold as he saw it; Simon was laying on his side in the dirt. the basket that he had used to bring in the fruit and vegetables was on it's side, the days harvest spilled out around Simon. A small whimper could be heard from the man. 

"SIMON!" Grace screamed, rushing to his side. The pain. It was back and it must've been so unbearable that Simon couldn't speak. He was barely breathing as is. Simon could barely open his eyes and when he had made eye contact with Grace, his whole body began to tremble and quiver. The tears streaked down his face, cleaning the dirt that had clung to his face. 

Grace wished he would've stayed home instead. 

The following days after that were nothing short of a blur. Grace had immediately contacted Rocky and Adrian after getting Simon to Armando in order stabilize him. The two had shown up, assessed and got to work. Within a matter of minutes, a whole team of Eridian scientists surrounded the dark haired man. Simon seemed oblivious to the fact that he was being swarmed. He just kept staring at Grace, blinking every now and then. 

It tore Grace apart. He was anxious to see if Simon was okay. He was so worried, he had bitten his nails clean off. He'd bitten them so bad as a matter a fact, that he drew blood on seven of the ten fingers. It didn't matter. As long as Simon was stable. That's all he wanted. As the night progressed, more tests were done. More blood was taken and more time had passed. Grace didn't know what was next. It was terrifying and he truly wished that he'd wake up from this God forsaken nightmare.

It must've been a few hours when Grace had found Simon in the garden. Grace had dozed off in the living room after being escorted out by Rocky and Adrian. They watched him sleep and had quite literally, been his rock throughout this whole ordeal. 

"G-Grace?" Simon had weakly called out. The call pulled Grace from his so called nap in seconds. Grace shot up, instantly whipping his head to where Simon was. He scrambled to get to him, tripping in the process. Grace pushed passed the few Eridians who were staying by Simon's side as they completed the last few tests. Grace knelt next to Simon, staring at the man. Grace sobbed as Simon had locked eyes with him and smiled warmly. "Grace," Simon whispered, still in pain. 

"I'm here, Simon," Grace cried, carefully taking Simon's hand into his. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

Tears flowed down Simon's cheek. "Sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"Scared you."

"You did. But it's not your fault."

"It is."

"No. No, it's not your fault."

"Should have been careful."

"You were feeling better with the medicine and then the pain had stopped for a few days. We didn't know." 

"Should have listened to you." 

"Simon." 

"I was stupid."

"You are not stupid, Si. We didn't know any better," Grace used his other hand to delicately wipe the tears from Simon's eyes. Simon quivered slightly, sniffling as he let the last of tears subside. 

"Will you stay with me?" Simon asked, groaning slightly. "I'm scared."

"Of course I will," Grace kissed Simon on the cheek, feeling the vibration of Simon's hum as he did so. "I'll always stay with you." The two men stay like that for sometime, each one comforted in this time of questions. Grace just wanted Simon to be okay. Simon didn't want Grace to worry about him. Simon felt as if he was supposed to be taking care of Grace. After all, he had done more than enough by saving him from that metal coffin and giving him a place to live. He would never admit it to Grace, but Simon always felt like he was unworthy of love. 

A dirty sinner such as himself didn't deserve the kindness and compassion of an angel like Grace. But Grace had proven otherwise and Simon was certain that he was going to marry Grace one day. He'd get to call Grace his husband, an honor that he would cry over when the day came. Now, those plans seemed to be put on an indefinite hiatus. It broke Simon's heart to know that the possibility of marrying Grace could be at risk. Simon knew that when he got his answer as to what was wrong with him, he'd marry Grace as soon as possible.

And when the answer came, neither of them were prepared. 

Simon's mutations were taking over. The Eridians didn't know why. They didn't know how or why it was happening now. Nearly two years of being on Erid and nothing. Then all of a sudden, they just decide to infect every aspect of Simon's life. Grace was stressed, tried, and angry. He begged for the Eridians to find a solution. There had to be something. There had to be a cure. By the time Grace was done pleading, he was a mess. Tears staining his shirt and snot was dripping from his nose. He could barely compose himself and collapsed into Simon, who had been stabilized by a strong dose of medications. The dark haired man gave a small nod for the Eridians to leave, which they did in silence to let the couple process. 

"This isn't fair!" Grace wailed, gripping onto Simon tightly.

"I know," Simon replied, feeling his own eyes well with tears. 

"Why is this happening?" Grace asked. 

"I don't know, angel." 

"W-what's gonna happen next?" 

"Hard to say. We have to wait."

"I don't want to wait! I want you to be okay!" 

"I know." 

"I'm so scared, Simon."

"I am too, Ryland." 

Grace and Simon had stayed locked in each others embrace for the rest of the night. They both didn't want to move. They were to afraid too. The following day might have been the one of the worst days of Graces life. Rocky and Adrian had shown up, nervously chittering. Grace knew something was up when Adrian had the translator strapped to his side. 

"Grace," Rocky had started. "We need to talk." 

"No," Grace shook his head, his face contorting as he tried to bottle up his grief.  "I can't do this." 

"We have to," Rocky insisted. 

"No!" Grace had cried out, letting more tears roll off his face. 

"Grace," Simon's voice came from the couch. Grace faced his partners direction, eyes wide and wet. "We need to talk with them. Come in, please." 

"Thank you, Simon," Adrian spoke, nudging Rocky to make his way inside. Grace could feel the pit forming in his stomach once more as he tried to brace himself for whatever was to come next. As the blonde sat down next to his partner, Simon found Grace's hand and gave a gentle squeeze as if to ground himself and Grace both. A small glance confirmed that Simon was also terrified to hear whatever news was to come of this. The next words that came out of the translator tore the couple apart like a bullet.

"Simon's condition cannot be cured," Adrian let the words go as gracefully as they could. "Furthermore, his condition is…" Adrian paused, struggling to get the words out. Rocky understood what had to be done. 

"Simon's condition is terminal. He will die." Rocky forced out. Grace wanted time to freeze in that moment. Simon wanted the same. The wail that had left Graces mouth was inhumane. Simon thought he was going to pass out. The two just held each as they both cried. Simon was silent. Grace was not. 

This was it. 

This was the end. 

It didn't take long for Simon to craft up a ring and propose to Ryland. It took all his strength just to properly get on one knee propose.  Ryland ugly cried when Simon asked the question, being quick to make sure that Simon didn't fall over. The ring itself was gorgeous. Simon admitted that he had Rocky do the work. His body was too weak to handle his tools, which absolutely killed him. 

The two didn't have a wedding. It was more so just a small gathering between Simon, Grace, Rocky and Adrian. The Eridian couple was thrilled to see that the two were official mates. Grace was just thrilled he was able to call Simon his husband. Deep down, Grace wished they could've had a proper wedding. All the Erdians there to celebrate with them. The gifts and the speeches. Then dancing and the cake cutting. Grace wanted that. He knew that Simon wanted it too. 

But he also knew that Simon's body would not be able to handle the stress of a party. The mutations were already working fast. He had already started moving slower. The pain medications were becoming a thing of the past. Some days, they worked and other days, they didn't. Seems like the "didn't work" days were more than the "did work" days. Simon insisted that he was fine but Grace knew that was a lie. Simon was an awful liar. Grace knew that. 

Grace knew everything there was to know about Simon. He knew he loved to cook. He loved to be in the garden and his workshop. Simon loved a good book. His favorite genre of books were fantasy. Game of Thrones had easily become one of Simon's favorite books and TV shows, though Grace had to spend plenty of time calming him down after the series finale. He was mad and he honestly had every right to be mad with the way things had gone down. 

Grace knew that Simon's love language was acts of service. Prior to Simon getting sick, Simon would spend most of his time doing simple chores for Ryland. Whether it be picking up the house, cleaning the kitchen, or doing his laundry, Simon would always find ways to make Grace's life simpler. He'd even gone through the task of organizing all of his lesson plans, to which Grace was astonished. What would have taken Grace a couple weeks to complete, Simon had managed to get done in just a few days. Grace had actually asked him one time as to why he insisted on helping so much. Simon's reasoning? Grace had already done enough for him, so it was his turn to take care of Grace. 

 Grace also knew that Simon absolutely adored listening to him talk. It was his name, after all. Simon listened. Simon listened attentively.  The best part was that Simon had remembered all the little details. Granted, whenever Simon wanted to be an ass, he'd be able to remember said little details and just mess with Ryland. Although, Grace wouldn't have it any other way. As long as he had Simon with him for as long as he could, that's all that mattered. 

It why Grace was so grateful that he was now married to Simon. 

When the small celebration between the four had finished, Grace had seen the Eridians to the door, wishing them a good night. 

"Now Grace and Simon can make pebbles," Rocky laughed. Grace went bright red, praying to god that Simon did NOT hear that. He went up a few shades when Simon cackled from the couch. 

"Rocky?" Adrian started, Grace picking up on the embarrassment in their tone.

"Yes?" Rocky replied innocently. 

"Shut up." Adrian hissed, keeping their partner in check. 

"Sorry, Adrian. Sorry, Grace. Sorry, Simon." Rocky apologized. 

"It's okay," Grace snickers. "Goodnight you two!" 

Grace closed the door and made his way into his husbands arms, snuggling together on the couch. 

"I can't believe you're my husband now," Grace smiled, feeling awfully proud about that. 

"I still can't believe I have you," Simon answered. 

"What do you mean?" Grace poked. 

"Someone like me pulled the sweetest thing in the known universe. How is that possible?" Simon queried. 

"You deserve it," Grace shrugged. 

"No, I do not," Simon chuckled dryly. 

"Yes, you do."

"I have murdered people, angel."

"So?"

"What do you mean 'so?'"

"Would you murder me?"

"What the fu- no!"

"Would you kill for fun?"

"Absolutely not!

"What if someone hurt me?"

"Then I'd kill them"

"Then you deserve it," Grace replied. Simon laughed, resting his inky hair against the bright light of Graces. "You're showing your loyalty."

"You're crazy," Simon spoke. 

"Yes, but now I am yours," Grace added. He was caught off guard when Simon had pulled his face in and kissed his passionately, shocked he had the strength for such a kiss. 

"You've always been mine, Angel."

Grace rose from the couch, giggling as he got an idea. Simon was confused, watching the man set something up. 

"What are you doing?" Simon eyeballed the blonde. 

"For weddings, there something called the first dance." Grace began, "The newly weds will pick as song and have their first dance to it."

"Okay?" Simon shrugged, "Where are you going with this?"

"We need a first dance!" Grace exclaimed, finding the song that he had wanted. Simon chuckled as he heard the song start to play. Forever from The Little Dippers. It was a favorite of both Grace and Simon. Grace spun around and faced his now husband and held out his hands before he quickly retracted them. 

"You can't stand for long, huh?" Grace had asked, the song playing in the back. 

"If you hold me, I can," Simon offered. Grace took it. He assisted Simon up and held on to him. Simon clung to Grace, resting his head on Graces shoulder as the song continued. the two held each in an embrace, dancing slowly to the music.

Hold me, kiss me

Whisper sweetly

That you'll love me, forever. 

Simon lifted his head and stared at Grace. He knew just how to make Grace flustered. "I'll always love you," He muttered, smirking at Grace. It worked. Grace turned red as he giggled softly.

"Forever?" Grace teased. 

"Forever." 

In the earlier days and even now from time to time, Simon would argue that he could care for himself. Grace never let him. The one time he did care for himself, Simon had gotten so exhausted that he had passed out. Before Simon's muscle mass went completely south, however, Rocky had constructed Simon a wheelchair that could be controlled with just the push of a button. It was easy for Simon to use. Grace recalls the first time that Simon had really struggled to move. The mutations had begun to lock his joints and sometimes, physical therapy wouldn't help. That's when Grace called Rocky and asked him to construct a wheelchair for Simon. It was perfectly customized for him.

Simon was not happy when Grace had surprised him with the wheelchair. To Simon, getting this felt like admitting that he was really sick and he was helpless. Simon didn't want to be helpless. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. He was supposed to be healthy and happy. He was supposed to live for the next couple decades with Grace. They were supposed to grow old together. 

"What is that for?" Simon asked, his face filling with confusion and anger. 

"It's a wheelchair for when you need to move," Grace explained. The stress had settled in and taken it's roots in Graces hair. He had started to gray now. His hair was becoming salt and peppery. 

"I can move just fine, thank you," Simon scoffed, looking away and returning his attention to his book. 

"No, actually, you can't," Grace used his fingers to move the book down slightly and make contact with Simon. "Each time you do move, you end up hurting yourself or you end up so exhausted you don't do anything for the next couple of days."

"I'm not using it," Simon spoke, flicking the book back up and breaking eye contact with Grace. The blonde could feel his face getting hot with frustration. He remained rather calm and moved the book down again, once gain picking up eye contact with Simon, who was desperately trying to avoid it. 

"Well, you need to move and I won't let you walk," Grace insisted. "It's too much strain your body."

Simon grit his teeth, becoming extremely irritated. "Well, you're not my mother and it's a fantastic thing that it's MY BODY!" Simon hissed through his teeth. He flicked the book back up once more. "I. Am. Not. Using. It!" 

Grace was officially pissed. How could one man possibly be the stubborn?! Grace was only trying to help for Gods sake! This time, Grace snatched the book from Simon's rather weak grasp and threw it down behind him on the coffee table. Simon looked up, eyes filled with a wall of rage. His face grew red as he threw his hand up in confusion. 

"What is your fucking problem?!" Simon yelled. 

Grace's face contorted into one of anger, the rage boiling in his veins. "Oh, what my fucking problem?"

Simon nodded, smirking and letting his sarcasm take the wheel. "No, the other person behind you that's also named Ryland Grace! Who the fuck else would I be talking to?"

"Oh, how cute! You wanna get smart? We can get smart then!" Grace yelled. "What is your problem right now?"

"My problem? Oh, my problem?" Simon pointed to himself, using his anger to push through the pain. "You didn't answer my fucking question! You tell me first!" 

"Why are you being so difficult right now?! I am just trying to help you!" 

"By restricting me from doing what I want with my body?! Yeah, some fucking help you are!" 

"Oh, fuck off and fuck you!" 

"Fuck me? Oh, okay, then! Fuck you too!" 

"You're such a douchebag!"

"You're not my mother, so don't fucking act like it!" 

"No, but I'm your fucking husband!" Grace screamed. Simon's chest heaved with both anger and pain. Grace's cheek were bright red, his eyes wide with rage. Grace grunted, storming off to the back of the house but not before he got the last word. "You don't want help? Fine! Figure it out by yourself then!" The slam of the bedroom door was the last thing that Simon had heard as the house fell silent. 

Simon had seen Grace get angry before. They had quite a few spats when Simon first arrived on Erid. Both were terrified, both were stressed and both hadn't been near another human in quite some time. Those first few months were extremely rough. The two bickered constantly, with Simon even throwing a few things at Grace if he dared to get to close to Simon. Grace attempted to calmly defuse the situation at hand. That stopped working when the two had nearly gotten into a fist fight. 

 It was kind of like how it was now. Sure, they spent everyday with each other, but right now both they were beyond terrified and stressed to no end as they tried to navigate through this problem. Simon scoffed, stubborn as always. Grace didn't know everything. He sure as shit didn't know how Simon felt about the wheelchair. But… he did know that Simon was struggling with basic tasks. He knew how much those tasks had pained him. Grace also knew that Simon had wanted nothing more that to just be healthy. 

Simon wanted to be fine. He wanted to be okay. He wanted to come in and teach the pebbles about about plants and even show them what he had grown. Simon wanted to spend his mornings with Grace, their limbs tangled in the sheets. He wanted to spend afternoons in the garden, with a picnic under the tree. Simon wanted to spend their evenings dancing to music, laughing and giggling like little kids, like they did on their wedding night. He wanted to spend their nights in each others embrace. That's the kind of life that Simon had been longing for. 

Now, he wasn't going to get it. 

He had to set things right. That's when he had heard it. 

Crying. Soft, very muffled cried came from the bedroom. Simon whipped his head around to the bedroom to narrow in and confirm. He had heard correct. Grace was crying. Simon felt guilt start to settle in in chest. He had to set it right. He had to apologize. Yeah, sure it hadn't even been fifteen minutes but Simon didn't care. He was going to apologize and make things right. Ignoring the wheelchair, Simon had attempted to stand and walk.  Getting in that thing was admitting that he was sick and he really was dying. He refused to admit that. He refused to admit that he was sick. He didn't want to die. 

The last thing that Simon remembered was his world going sideways. 

Grace, meanwhile was inconsolable. His husband was dying. He knew that as well as anybody. All he wanted to do was help and that got him an argument, which he had abolsuel;ty despised. Grace hated arguing with a loved one. Grace knew he could get nasty real quick when he got mad. It got him fired from his field. The guilt went after him too. Why did he have to be so pushy? Why, why, why?! Gosh darn it, Grace, he thought to himself as he tried to regulate his breathing. He began to realize that Simon was also scared and stressed too. This was a fight could have been completely avoided had both men just stayed calm. 

He had to apologize to Simon. He didn't mean any of what he said. As he tried to calm down, he heard a rather loud thump come from the living room. What could that have…

Simon. Grace scrambled up and felt his heart drop when he suspicions were right; Simon had fallen over and whacked his head on the ground. He rushed over, holding Simon gently. 

"Simon?!" Grace called out, cradling his love in his arms. 

Simon opened his eyes weakly, staring back at Grace. "Thought you said t'figure out myself," Simon chuckled before wincing at the pain. 

Grace laughed. "Shut up."

It took a bit for Simon to readjust and for Armando to make sure that nothing too serious had occurred. Simon, thankfully, blacked out momentarily. He had also received a very minor concussion but that was manageable. More manageable than the mutations, that's for sure. The two sat in silence now, yearning to speak but both finding the words were lodged in their throats. Grace went first, clearing his own throat as speaking. 

"Hey, Si?" Grace croaked out, Simon glanced over to him, keeping his movement extremely minimal. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier." 

"Oh, that?" Simon blew a raspberry. "It's fine."

"It's not, actually," Grace argued. "We're both stressed and I think it blew up in both our faces in the worst way possible." Simon agreed, nodding his head. 

"I'm sorry too," Simon had spoke, his voice low. "I just…" The tears had begun to prick in his eyes and he began to cry. The sobs were soft and tired. Very tired. "I know you mean well. And I really, really do appreciated the gift I just…" 

"Don't want it?" Grace offered. Simon shook his head vigorously, hurting himself in the process. Nonetheless, he continued. "I feel like if I use the wheelchair, I admit that I am sick." The tears rushed out full force, Simon's breath quivering. "I feel like that I am admitting that I am going to die! I don't want to die, Grace! I don't want to leave you! I want to spend the rest of our days in peace and die when we have had at least a few decades with each other!" 

Simon was sobbing and Grace now understood why he had blown up. Simon fell into Graces embrace, his arms holding him softly. "We're going to be okay. We'll figure it out," Grace had squeezed Simon as he also started to cry. It was here that Simon had noticed just how gray Grace's hair was. He toyed with his hair, realizing that he was now making peace with death. It was part of life and sometimes the hand that was dealt to you could be so cruel. Simon realized then and there that they had no time for petty squabbles like this.

"You know," Simon broke the silence, "I like the salt and pepper thing you have going on in your hair."

Grace laughed. "You do?"

"Yeah," Simon nodded, smirking.

"I've been so stressed with the way things have been lately, so it's no wonder I'm all gray now."

"You look good in gray."

"Thank you, Simon," Grace chuckled. 

"Grace?" Simon spoke, gently cupping his husbands face. 

"Yes?" Grace had answered. 

"Promise me something?"

"Anything." 

"Let's not fight like this again. Please. We need to just spend whatever time we have left being happy, okay?"

"You've got that right," Grace chuckled dryly, Simon was right. They needed to stay as happy as they possibly could.

Even if it was just for a little while.

Over the course of the next few months, Simon deteriorated. From the day that they had received his diagnosis, Simon had seen way better days. His hair had thinned. The scar that had only been on his left and nearly taken up every inch of his body. The small white streaks that had pretty much taken over, leaving Simon nearly all white. The gills on his neck had spread to both sides of his neck and chest, flaring with each breath Simon took.

The teeth that jut out are longer and even uglier than before, cutting into the hollowed out flesh of Simon's face. Simon's eyes were sunken in, his cheeks hollow and skin pale. His entire body had become so fragile. He'd had lost nearly all his muscle mass, becoming a shell of what he once looked like. Simon looked like a walking skeleton and the fact his apatite had practically disappeared didn't help his case either. Simon had been granted the mercy of keeping his one good eye, thank God.

Sometimes, Simon would forget who Grace was. Tests revealed that the mutations had affected his brain from time to time. Grace sobbed uncontrollably for hours after he found that out. He remembers Simon staring at him and wheeling himself over to the blonde, who was now completely gray. He wanted to provide a sense of comfort. "Hey," Simon spoke, his voice slightly frail at this time. Grace looked up at Simon, tears streaking down his face. 

"Hi," Grace replied, wiping his tears.

"Is everything okay?" Simon had asked, still not recognizing Grace. 

Grace shook his head, turning away and silently crying. Grace was struggling bad. Knowing Simon was terminal was one thing, but having Simon going through memory loss was another. Simon glanced down at the floor, trying to find the words. 

"What's going on? If you don't mind me asking." Simon looked at Grace, offering a small smile. Of course Simon would offer to listen. It was in his nature. 

"Someone I love is going to die," Grace cried out rather quietly, "I don't want to lose them." 

Simon paused for a moment. "I think that's just how it has to be."

"But why? I didn't get that much time with him!" 

"Life isn't fair. It has a habit of putting you through hell." 

"It sucks. I don't want him to die."

"You know, my mother told me that when someone dies, they aren't really dead."

"How so?"

"Our loved ones will always walk beside us. They'll be with use every step of the way." 

"You think so?"

"I know so! My mother is with me everyday that I am alive," Simon smiled. The memories came flooding back like a torn down dam. He knew him. This man had saved his life. He had called him an angel. Ryland Grace. It was him. He remembered! He gasped as he finally recognized his husband. "Grace?" 

"Si?" Grace went wide eyed. 

"It happened again, didn't it?" Simon asked. Silence filled the room. "Grace, answer me, please." 

"Yeah," Grace sighed, "Yeah it did." 

Fuck. Simon took a deep breath and exhaled. He knew his time was coming, He didn't want to tell Grace, but the feeling had been growing stronger since he found out he had been forgetting things. 

"How much time do you think you have?" Grace asked, tears rolling down his face. 

"I don't know," Simon whispered.

"I'm scared, Si."

"I am too, Ry." 

Now a days, it was touch and go with Simon. He barely moved. Grace did all of that for him. Simon was still fiercely stubborn, however. It was a comfort for Grace to see that something's truly never changed. 

Now, Grace lay with Simon, curled up in bed. 

It had been a rough past few days. Simon was so weak now that he didn't move at all. He recognized Grace sometimes and no longer ate. This was it. Grace knew it was it when Simon had started to breathe like a fish yesterday. He had seen it with his parents. The doctors had called it agonal breathing. Grace knew that Simon had maybe twenty-four hours left. 

"Grace?" Simon called out, barely opening his eyes. 

Grace rose quickly, gazing at the tried eyes of his husband. "Yes?" 

"Hi," Simon smiled ever so slightly. 

"Hi, my love," Grace greeted back.

"'have a question."

"And I have an answer." 

"'Member the conversation from a few months ago?"

"Which one?"

"The bugs and our hearts."

"You still remember that?"

"s'morbid conversation, course I 'member."

"What about it?" 

"I know what the bugs will taste."

"Oh yeah? What will they taste?"

"My never-ending love for you," Simon closed his eyes and opened them again after a few seconds. "They'll always have a feast cause it's infinite." 

Grace laughed. he laughed and then he began to cry. He sobbed into the shirt that Simon was wearing., The shirt that once fit him so snugly was now two sizes too big for him. His frame barely fit inside. Simon lay there, motionless as Grace cried. 

"Why are you crying?" Simon asked. 

"Because I'm going to lose you!" Grace bawled. 

"No, you won't," Simon shook his head. 

"How do you know?" Grace asked

"I'll always be with you." Simon used what little strength he had and pointed at Grace's heart. "In there." 

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." 

"Do you remember when you said that soulmates tend to copy each other?"

"Mhm." 

"I hope your right and I follow behind you."

"You better."

"Yeah?"

"Course. I need a dancing partner when I'm up there." 

Grace smiled, crying again as he curled into Simon's side. he didn't want this to be the end. he wanted Simon to just magically get better and live for another thirty years. Was that too much to ask? Was that so wrong?

"It's not fair!" Grace raises his voice slightly. 

"I know."

"I just want you to stay!"

"I can't."

"Yes, you can!"

"Grace." 

"Stay with me, please! Don't go!" Grace pleads, crying out. "Don't leave me here." The sounds of Grace's cries and Simon's ragged breathing fill the room for what seems like ages. Simon is the one to break the silence. 

"Hey, Grace?" Simon whispered.

"Y-yeah?" Grace answered, still crying. 

"What do you think…" Simon paused his sentences to take a couple of ragged breaths, his gills flaring as he did, "… the bugs will taste when they eat my heart?" Simon asked. Grace knew where this was going to end. He knew exactly where this was going.

"No," Grace shook his head, clinging onto Simon. 

"Please," Simon asked, a tear of his own streaking down his face. 

"I can't," Grace lied. 

"Bad liar," Simon said, giving the smallest laugh. 

"I can't do it, Si," Grace wept, his tears soaked the now too big shirt. "I'm not strong enough."

"Please, Grace," Simon asked once more. "Please."

"No!" Grace shook his head, refusing to believe that this was it.

"Be strong for me, mkay?" Simon asked. Grace would do this. Just for Simon. he'd do anything for Simon. 

Grace paused, composing himself the best he could. He had to do this. He had to do this for Simon. "When y-you die and the bugs are eating your heart, they'll first be met with the o-overwhelming amount of fear. F-fear that's been festering for some time. After the fear, they'll find the flavor of g-guilt," Grace starts, feeling Simon smile as he hears the words he spoke to him long ago.

Grace tears up, stammering through the words as his voice breaks. "Past the fear and guilt, the b-bugs will also taste," Grace has to bite his lip to keep himself from bawling, "t-the swelling rage for being betrayed and lied to. T-they'll understand why you're so scared because they'll find the betrayal that you endured for so long." Memories of Simon first arriving on Erid flash in his mind. The shouting, the yelling, the anger and fear. It all comes rushing back to him. 

Grace furthers in his talk. "And past the r-rage, the bugs will also find the sadness. There's so much sadness. It comes from the fact that you haven't been able to be yourself for quite some time. It also comes from the fact that you know you didn't get enough time." Simon hums, almost as if he's confirming that it's true. "T-the ideas that you once had have been s-snuffed out. But behind the bitter shell, the bugs w-will find the soft and gooey inside that they've been craving." Grace can see the first time that Simon had smiled at him. he can hear the first time he had laughed at one of Graces terrible jokes. It's starting to weigh him down. 

Grace takes a deep, shuddering breath as he moves on. Simon's breathing is slowing down now. Grace knows what is going to come. He's trying his hardest to deny it. "The b-bugs will first be met with how gentle you are. How g-gentle you are with the garden p-plants. How t-tenderly you care for me when I'm not feeling well. They'll learned that you've always been kind and considerate." Grace is sobbing as he treks through the last bits of bis speech to Simon. "T-they'll taste your love language. They will discover how much you have done for m-me. T-the bugs will also taste the well you listen." 

Something is wrong, but Grace continues.

"They'll u-understand the meaning of your name b-because of it. They can also find the hint of loyalty. When they do find it, they will r-realize that you are so loyal to those that you l-love, you'd do anything to defend them," Grace finishes. 

The room is silent. It's just Grace's silent cries that fill the vicinity. He looks to Simon and realizes that he is silent. The breathing has stopped. Simon is limp. Grace shakes his head softly, denying what has happened. He places two fingers on Simon's neck to check for a pulse. Graces takes a deep breath and gets enough courage to listen to Simon's heart. Grace waits for a few moments. When those moments pass, Grace places his forehead against Simon's, letting the tears roll of his face and onto his husbands.

Simon has died. 

The day of the funeral arrives. Grace is distraught, but nonetheless, he must make the speech. Grace hasn't slept in nearly two days. The salt and peppered hair is a mess, running wild and free. The stubble on his face had definitely grown out. He was so busy caring for Simon in his last days that he had forgotten to shave. It didn't matter now.

The funeral was in the garden. Grace and Simon had the discussion of where Simon wanted to be buried. It was a very depressing conversation to say the least. Grace was glad that they had it, though. Simon requested for his body to be buried under the tree. He said that he wanted to nourish the soil that had nourished him. Grace didn't question it. He honored his husbands wishes and did as he asked. 

Grace was the first to walk up to Simon. The Eridians had taken the honor of preparing Simon for burial. His body lay on a table that Rocky constructed that way Grace could see him one last time. Grace looked down at his husband's lifeless body. Grace thought he was sleeping. When Simon slept, he looked so relaxed. So at peace. His face is sunken in, skin pale. The bags under his eyes are permanent; a sign of how tired he truly was. Simon has no muscle mass, but it's been hidden by the clothing. That was a choice made by Rocky. He didn't want Grace's last memory of Simon being thin and frail. The one thing that the Erdiains couldn't see were just how blue Simon lips and fingers were.

Only Grace could see that.

 He wore the spare clothes that Yao had on the Hail Mary, a request from Simon. He wanted Grace to have all his silly little shirts back and Grace had also honored that wish. Simon had also requested to be buried with his arm attached to his stump. It had been cleaned a set in a proper manner. The final thing that Simon wished for was to be buried with his wedding ring. A token of his love with Grace.

Grace stared down at Simon, the Eridians watching in pure silence. "What have you done?" Grace asked. Eridians looked around confused, their attention snapping back as Grace continued. "Answer me, Simon."

Silence. Simon lay perfectly still. 

"What have you done?" 

"…"

"Answer me!" Grace raised his hands in an open palm and slams them down on Simon chest. He does this a few times before resting his hands on Simon.

"…" 

"Simon!" thump

"…" 

"You answer me! Now!" thump

"…" 

"Why have you done this?" thump, thump

"…"

"Why have you hurt me?" thump, thump, thump

"…" 

"Simon, please!" 

Grace is sobbing at this point. He presses his forehead to Simon's, weeping and wailing for his husband to come back. Rocky steps forward and Adrian tried to stop him but it's too late. Rocky slowly walks up to Grace and tries to console him. 

"Grace?" Rocky warbles.

"Yes?" Grace replies, still clinging on to Simon. 

"You must leave Simon. He is not coming back." Rocky delivers the truth. Grace doesn't not like it. Rocky's words send him into a fit of rage. 

"HE IS FINE!" Grace booms, whipping around and looming over his best friend. "HE'S FINE. HE'S JUST PLAYING A CRUEL, SICK JOKE RIGHT NOW! HE IS PERFECTLY FINE!  RIGHT, SIMON?" Grace turns to the man again and places a hand on his face. Grace whimpers before saying, "Expect he's cold. He's cold and doesn't have a heartbeat anymore." Grace breaks down completely, scooping up Simon in his arms and rocking back and forth, hugging his husband one last time. 

"Why, Simon?" Grace asks, letting the clothes dry his tears. Simon doesn't respond. 

"Why'd you have to go?"

"…"

"You could've stayed here with me." 

"…" 

"We had a few decades left." 

"…"

"There's so much we didn't get to do," Grace says finally moving back and looking at his husband's face. "Do you remember when you said, 'I think we'll go around the same time.' And how you're my soulmate and that soulmates copy each other?" There is a brief moment of silence as the Eridians watch, some silently crying to themselves.

"I sure hope you're right." 

"…"

"Because I cannot live without you." 

Grace didn't do anything in his last few days. He barely moved. He mainly cried. Rocky would provide whatever comfort he could and same with Adrian. They listened to Grace sob about how much he had missed Simon. How he had wished for more time. How he still regrets not being late to class that day. Grace was completely heartbroken. The only thing that he had thought about was Simon. Simon's voice. Simon's laugh. Simon's smile.

Simon, Simon, Simon.

He wanted Simon.

Rocky knew that Grace was heartbroken. He knew how sad he was. Their conversations after Simon had passed had been so depressing.

"Do you need anything?" Rocky asked. 

"I need Simon. I want him back!" Grace cried out, his eyes red and puffy. 

"Grace," Rocky chirped, his voice unsteady and sad. He hated seeing his best friend in such a state. Grace heaved even hard, the cries rattling his thin frame. 

"I want him back!" Grace wailed.

"Grace."

"I just want Simon back."

"Grace he is-" Rocky tried to speak but was suddenly cut off by Grace wiping everything off the table he had his arms on. The crash from the now broken coffee mug startled Rocky, making him take a step back. 

"I WANT SIMON BACK. I JUST WANTED MORE TIME," Grace was screaming, the tears flowing full force as he yelled. "WE BOTH DID! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!" He fell to the floor, shoulders bobbing up and down as he cried. The grief had now consumed Grace whole. Rocky spent the rest of the night consoling his friend, watching him fall asleep for the last time that night. 

Grace got his wish. Not even a week after Simon had passed away, Grace passed away peacefully in his sleep. The Eridian scientists weren't sure what had caused it. Rocky had checked up on Grace every day after the funeral. On day three is when Rocky had discovered Grace. He walked in to find him sleeping in his bed. Rocky could make out that Grace seemed to have a rather peaceful expression as he slowly realized that he couldn't hear Graces heartbeat.

The Eridian begged for Grace to wake up, screaming his name as he shook him. No matter what he had done, Grace wouldn't wake up.

Grace had died.

He was lost. Rocky knew it. Simon was Grace's Adrian. That was his soulmate. Without Simon, nothing made sense to Grace. Life had lost all meaning. Rocky was angry at first. It was understandable. The two had gone through hell and back saving the stars from destruction and doom. They had a celebration for Grace, seeing that he as the savior of Erid. It was a beautiful celebration. Rocky wished that both Grace and Simon could see it. Maybe they could, who knows. 

Rocky shared all the memories he could with the other Eridians. Stories of how Grace was a hero and how they had worked together to save the stars became legend. Stories of Simon and how he came to Erid became a common tale among the pebbles. The story of how the two humans fell in love was a story that all Eridians knew. Everyone on Erid came to know how the Savior of the Stars and the One who Listened came to be. 

Two weeks after both humans had passed, Eridian scientists called Rocky in to show him something. Rocky didn't know what was going on. Truth be told, he was a little worried that something had happened. He had brought Adrian in as a support, who was just as nervous as him. What they had was actually the opposite. It was something beautiful. They had proudly pointed out that they had discovered two new comets in the orbit around Erid. When Rocky analyzed the images of the comets, it was almost as if they were dancing around each other, closely intertwined but never colliding. Rocky knew what it was.

It was Grace and Simon. They were among the stars now, dancing for all eternity. The scientists had happily mentioned that they would appear in orbit around Erid once every two years. The same amount of time that Simon and Grace had been together on Erid. 

For when the bugs had eaten both Grace and Simon's hearts, they had tasted their everlasting love. 

A love that only the stars knew.