Chapter Text
"Saiki-kun, I really like you... Please go out with me!"
....is what the girl beside my seat said, in her mind, that is.
My name is Saiki Kusuo, I'm a psychic. I assume you readers already know what that means, so I won't elaborate further.
More importantly, this girl keep going on and on about these romantic imagination in her head. Her ceaseless thoughts truly disturbs my peace, since I can't help but hear people's minds as a psychic. What a pain. Isn't there's something better to think about for you right now? What about paying attention to the class? She's planning this and that to make us get together and confess already now, but these are all just a waste of time. Let me show you why.
—
Time pass and with the help of my psychic powers I sabotaged her plans without direct confrontation. Her plan of pretending to bump on me at the corner of school's hall? I put her posture up straight before she could fell with my telekinesis. Her plan to make me share my book on the same table by pretending she had forgotten to bring her book? I apported the book on her table to the one she's supposed to bring on that day. Her plan to share us an indirect kiss out of cola can? I transported the content straight to my mouth with telekinesis when she looked away for a second, so it seemed like there's nothing left for her to share to me.
And today, you see...
She already goes out with a man that seemed like a telephone pole. The stiff straight posture and strangely clean haircut... Anyway that's not what I wanted to talk about. It's the fact that everything she has been thinking about that concerns me are completely absence now, which is good to me, atleast. But still, those events are such an unnecessary disturbance to my daily life and a waste of time for the both of us. (I'm thankful for the free cola, though.)
Now, some of you readers might say "That's because you manipulated the events out of volition that things turn this way!" And I won't deny it. However...
This is the 100th time such things had happened!
I've seen it over and over. The way people fall in love, the way people fell out of love, the cycle of romance and such. I don't want to say this, but I'm practically an experienced veteran of love. I know the nature of love more than anyone, and the answer is FUTILE! hollow, a waste of time.
Though, maybe there's actually nothing wrong with that as a human, and it's only because I perceive things differently that I fail to see the meaning which normal people could see and hold.
...I'm starting to think about useless things, so rather than dwelling on such matters I'm planning to buy coffee jelly in my way home. You see, I don't hate coffee jelly at all. in fact, I really love them. Their mellow, deep scent and flavor... Truly a dignified, most excellent dessert. I let out sigh of contentment at the thought of coffee jelly. Even for someone like me, there's still some enjoyable things to have.
I took money out of my wallet, but suddenly a strong gush of wind flew it away. Well, there's no problem since I can use telekinesis, being a psychic isn't all bad aftera- wait, a fox took it?! Wait, come back you thief!
The fox ran faster before I could act, and it kept running. I crossed my eyes to activate my clairvoyance to spot the fox and I wait for it to stop running, then teleported to the location and successfully took my money back. It turns out to be the local shrine. Are you a god messenger or something? Trying to take my money for an offering because never in my life had I ever believe, let alone make a heartfelt offering to the gods? Good grief. This is extortion. Are you going to call yourself god like this, god?
I went to the shrine and took a seat nearby to take a break. There, I spot a coin. I took it and the memories to the origins behind this sole coin are surging through my mind, That's my psychometry power. It seemed like the invisible gloves I wore to block out my psychometry had slightly teared off when I was taking my money back from the thief fox. Oh well, I can just time rewind my gloves to fix it and now I know this was thrown by some careless guy who meant to throw it to the offering box. I throw the coin to the proper place the owner meant to throw to.
Cling.
"Yeouch!"
...
I heard some old man voice that sounded like it came from the offering box. I must be imagining things.
...
"Saiki Kusuo... You turn to me for guidance, at last."
...
I saw some bearded old man, with a bump on his head coming out from the offering box. I must be imagining things.
...
"I know the reason you came for... Your worries... Your wishes..."
...
I-
"STOP PRETENDING I'M NOT HERE ALREADY WILL YOU, ARE WE GODS HAS NO DIGNITY IN YOU YOUTH EYES?!"
I sighed. Have you ever wondered how people who never believed in gods would react to their existence upon meeting them? Well, this is how.
I guess I have no choice but to acknowledge this old man now. Well then? What is it that concerns me? O all knowing god?
"Well... I'm guessing it's academic issue... Or rather... Home life... No... romantic life... Not. Rather..."
...
If you're trying to get reaction out of me that's not happening.
"Damn, your poker face is too good."
What's with this? I thought you're supposed to understand the content of my heart and wish already.
"Anyway, boy, I have good news for you..."
Don't change the topic. Also how did your body pass through the offering box yet you get injured by the coin?
"...You are to encounter your "soulmate" in high school. Yes, that's right, soulmate... The life companion that is set to be the ultimate love partner the moment you born into this world...!"
Soulmate? Utterly ridiculous. Not just the concept as itself, me being the subject turn it all the more impossible.
"They do in fact exist, boy. You will feel a shock ran through your body the moment your eyes met, and in an instant, you both will fall in love so hard that it hurts. In layman's terms... This is "love at first sight"."
Stop with the nonsense. I don't believe it, love at first sight? Really? It's so ridiculous that both me and the writer ran out of words to express how absurd the idea is in agreement. I'm leaving. These all must be the work of imagination or another type of useless psychic power that just awakened within me.
"WAIT! DON'T LEAVE! THIS IS IMPORTANT YOU HEAR! PEOPLE LIVES RELIES ON THIS!"
I stunned and looked back at the self proclaimed god. Others lives matter in this? How?
"Well... You see, pay proper attention to this very important informations. first thing first, women will fall in love instantly, while men will fall in love gradually as time goes by... And second..."
...
"...those who have met their soulmates but unable to fall in love and be happy together will die shortly afterwards."
Hold on. That escalated way too quickly that this sounds like a badly written crappy story than reality. This can't be real right? Are you sure the readers would be okay with this? More importantly what kind of universal law is that? You must be joking.
"Well... I mean... they'll die from various unfortunate events rather than instant death... It's not that unrealistic right? A.. also..."
Also what? Why you, a god, fidgeting your fingers right now? Hey? What are you hiding from me?
"REJOICE, BOY. BECAUSE YOUR SOULMATE... THERE WILL BE 100 OF THEM AWAIT FOR YOU!!!"
This escalated too quickly in another way! Do we have to worry about the story being realistic or not at this point?!
I sighed.
Seriously stop with the jokes. I really don't believe this, even if it's coming from an actual god. God? Maybe you're just a pranking ghost. That's right, my new power must be the one making me see things right now. What a pain. This psychic power really is troublesome, dragging me into yet another useless things.
"WAIT, SAIKI KUSUO, I'M REAL! AND I'M NOT A GHOST! PLEASE WAIT—"
I left the shrine and went out to have my coffee jelly.