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The Heathens had always assumed Jeremy and Landon hated each other.
Not ordinary dislike.
Not professional rivalry.
Hated each other.
The kind of hatred that made entire rooms go quiet whenever they were standing on opposite sides of a table.
Jeremy could barely make it through a meeting without giving Landon a death stare.
Landon returned the favor with the sort of cold expression that suggested he’d happily throw Jeremy out of a window if the opportunity presented itself.
They argued constantly.
They challenged each other.
They competed over everything.
If Jeremy said black, Landon said white purely on principle.
So, naturally, nobody in the Heathens had ever considered the possibility that they were willing tolerating each other’s presence.
Why would they?
That would be ridiculous. The only reason both of them had to spend time in each other’s presence was because Nikolai, Jeremy’s best bro, and Brandon, Landon’s little twin were dating.
Which was exactly why, when a very drunk Landon King wandered into their nightclub booth that night, nobody was prepared for what happened next.
Landon was completely wasted.
His tie was loose, his hair was disheveled, and he was swaying slightly as he wandered through the crowd.
He stopped.
Squinted toward the VIP booth.
Five familiar-looking men sat there.
Landon stared.
“Why do those people look familiar?”
He pointed.
One of them looked suspiciously like Jeremy.
Landon frowned.
“No.”
He shook his head.
“My Jer-bear isn’t here.”
He started walking toward the booth anyway.
Jeremy noticed him.
His eyes widened.
“Landon?”
Landon didn’t react.
He reached the table and stared directly at Jeremy.
Jeremy stared back.
For one brief second, neither moved.
Then Landon smiled.
“You look exactly like my boyfriend.”
Every man at the table froze.
Jeremy’s whiskey glass stopped halfway to his mouth.
Killian blinked.
Vaughn slowly lowered his cards.
Nikolai stared.
Gareth’s eyebrows rose.
Jeremy managed:
“Your… what?”
Landon giggled.
“My boyfriend.”
He leaned closer, studying Jeremy’s face.
“But you’re not him.”
Jeremy’s brain briefly left his body.
Killian looked at him.
Then at Landon.
Then back at Jeremy.
Landon nodded to himself.
“My Jer-bear is meaner.”
Jeremy’s eyes widened. Apparently no one really heard the nickname.
“That’s…”
He cleared his throat.
“That’s unfortunate.”
Landon smiled.
Then, without warning, he sat directly on Jeremy’s lap.
The table went completely silent.
Jeremy froze.
Landon immediately snuggled against his chest.
“Mmm.”
Killian’s mouth fell open.
Vaughn whispered:
“What the hell?”
Nikolai stared at Jeremy.
“Didn’t these two nearly kill each other last week?”
Gareth nodded slowly.
“They’re apparently very committed to the act.”
Jeremy looked at them with a silent warning.
Landon sighed happily.
“You know…”
Jeremy looked down.
“What?”
“You really look like him.”
Jeremy swallowed.
“I’ve been told.”
Landon rested his cheek against Jeremy’s chest.
“My Jer-bear is so handsome.”
Killian’s eyes nearly popped out of his head.
“Jer-bear?”
Jeremy gave him a murderous look.
Killian immediately shut his mouth.
Landon continued.
“I love him.”
The Heathens exchanged glances.
Jeremy looked like he was preparing for his own funeral.
Landon smiled dreamily.
“He pretends he hates me.”
Four heads snapped toward Jeremy.
Jeremy’s expression became completely unreadable.
Landon giggled.
“But he doesn’t.”
Vaughn slowly pointed at Jeremy.
“You…”
Jeremy shook his head.
“Don’t.”
Landon continued talking.
“When we’re around everyone, he’s all scary.”
He lowered his voice dramatically.
“‘Landon, you’re annoying.’”
Killian snorted.
That actually sounded exactly like Jeremy.
Landon smiled.
“But when we’re alone…”
He cuddled closer.
“He loves me.”
Silence.
Gareth leaned forward.
“Wait.”
Landon blinked at him.
Gareth pointed between him and Jeremy.
“You two…”
Landon frowned.
“No.”
Gareth stared.
“No?”
Landon shook his head.
“He’s not Jeremy.”
Jeremy covered his face with one hand.
Killian was visibly struggling not to laugh.
Landon continued.
“But Jeremy loves me.”
Nikolai slowly leaned back.
“So the man who supposedly despises you…”
“He does.”
“…is secretly sweet to you?”
Landon’s face brightened.
“Yes!”
Jeremy looked horrified.
“Why are you encouraging him?”
Nikolai ignored him.
“Tell me more.”
Jeremy’s head snapped toward him.
“Nikolai.”
Landon smiled.
“Jeremy feeds me cherries.”
Vaughn stared.
“Feeds you?”
“Yes.”
“Like…”
Landon nodded enthusiastically.
“One at a time.”
Killian slapped both hands over his mouth.
Gareth turned away.
His shoulders were shaking.
Jeremy looked at the ceiling.
“I hate all of you.”
Landon continued.
“He cuddles me too.”
Killian couldn’t hold it anymore.
He burst out laughing.
Jeremy glared at him.
“You think this is funny?”
“You two have spent the last year acting like you want to murder each other!”
Landon frowned.
“We don’t hate each other.”
Jeremy muttered:
“Apparently not.”
Landon looked at him.
“You’re very nice.”
Jeremy’s expression softened.
“Only to you.”
The table went silent again.
Landon smiled.
Then he snuggled closer.
“My Jer-bear.”
Killian whispered:
“This is the biggest betrayal of my life.”
Vaughn nodded.
“I genuinely thought they hated each other.”
Gareth looked at Jeremy.
“So all those arguments…”
“Real.”
“The glaring?”
“Real.”
“The insults?”
“Mostly real.”
Nikolai narrowed his eyes.
“And the cherries?”
Jeremy sighed.
“Also real.”
Everyone stared at him.
Jeremy stared back.
“Don’t make this weird.”
Killian pointed at Landon.
“He’s literally asleep on your lap.”
Jeremy looked down.
Landon had already fallen asleep, one hand loosely gripping Jeremy’s shirt.
Jeremy sighed and carefully adjusted him so he wouldn’t slip.
The Heathens watched.
Their terrifying, ruthless teammate was handling Landon with absurd gentleness.
Vaughn whispered:
“I can’t believe it.”
Gareth nodded.
“The greatest enemies-to-lovers plot in history.”
Jeremy looked up.
“Don’t call it that.”
Nikolai smirked.
“We thought you hated him.”
Jeremy glanced down at Landon.
A tiny smile appeared.
“I do.”
The Heathens stared.
Jeremy continued calmly:
“He’s annoying.”
Landon stirred in his sleep.
Jeremy immediately steadied him.
Then, much quieter:
“But he’s mine.”
The table went silent.
Killian slowly raised his glass.
“To the biggest secret we’ve ever accidentally discovered.”
Vaughn raised his.
“To Landon’s complete inability to recognize his own boyfriend.”
Gareth raised his.
“To the cherries.”
Nikolai raised his.
“And to Jeremy, who apparently spends his private evenings cuddling the man he publicly threatens.”
Jeremy stared at them.
“Every single one of you is going to die.”
Killian grinned.
“Worth it.”
Landon murmured sleepily against Jeremy’s chest.
“Love you, Jer-bear…”
Jeremy looked down at him.
His expression softened.
“Love you too.”
The Heathens stared at one another.
Nobody said a word.
Because suddenly, every argument they’d ever witnessed between Jeremy and Landon made a horrifying amount of sense.
They hadn’t been watching enemies.
They’d been watching two idiots in love who apparently thought pretending to hate each other was a perfectly reasonable way to maintain a secret relationship.
Human beings really were astonishing creatures.